Sweet as Sugar, Hard as Ice
by turntoPaige394
Summary: A princess among Death Eaters; a keeper with two faces. He is her only way out, but the King won't let her escape so easily. AU set in Hermione's final year when the sudden death of her mother leaves her at the mercy of the father she's never known. Worst of all? Her only chance at survival relies on Severus Snape's penchant for deception. SS/HG, Slytherin!Hermione
1. Avada Kedavra

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. That honor belongs solely to J.K. Rowling.**

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1\. _Avada_ _Kedavra_

Crippling darkness was all around―choking her―threatening to drag her further below until she knew she would never escape. She wanted to scream, to beg for someone to let her go, but when she readied herself to try, no sound would escape her throat. Deep down, even if she _had_ been able to scream, she knew it would prove fruitless. She knew she was alone.

In the far distance, there came a soft, pale glow. Her legs seemed to take on a life of their own, moving swiftly as they brought her closer and closer to the light. Her muscles tightened as she approached; what would she find when she reached it? She stumbled slightly at this thought, her legs shaking with exhaustion and fear. Despite her lungs burning with each subsequent breath, she forced herself onward; moving towards the light seeming to be the only option.

Then, she saw him.

He stood with his back to the light, the features of his face barely visible against the backdrop of almost blinding light in the darkness. He extended an arm and his long, elegant fingers beckoned her forward. Once again, her legs seemed to move of their own accord and his thin lips twisted into an affectionate grin as he watched her take small, hesitant steps toward him.

"Good girl," he purred in a velvety baritone.

She felt her bones threatening to melt at the sound of his voice but she willed herself to be calm. "Please," she managed, her voice cracked and wavering, "you have to help me."

The man chuckled at her plea, but the sound settled deep in the pit of her stomach and set her blood aflame. How was he managing to affect her so strongly in this terrifying place? Her limbs quaked with fear but when she stepped closer and finally saw his face, her heart nearly stopped in her chest. He was not conventionally handsome but still striking; his silky shoulder length hair was such a deep black that it almost appeared blue, a stark contrast to the pallor of his almost translucent skin. He had eyes the color of obsidian set deep below his elegant brow and his nose was aquiline, almost entirely too large for his face. The line of his jaw was sharp, nearly as sharp as the precise Cupid's bow carved into his upper lip, and the teeth in his mouth were crooked and uneven.

And yet, she was utterly mesmerized.

"Princess," the dark angel crooned. "Finally."

She was frozen, not with fear but something else entirely. The man held out his slender hand to touch her face, gently sliding his long, thin fingers down her jaw. Without speaking another word, he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers, placing his large hand just above her frantic heart.

"He is coming for you," he said without preamble, his eyes boring into hers mercilessly. "It will be frightening, but you must let him take you."

"What are you talking about? Who is coming for me?"

"Listen to me," he growled, the sound coming from deep in his throat. "Try not to resist; everything will be much easier if you go without a struggle. I cannot help you if you fight him."

She furrowed her brow, "I still don't understand—"

His hand slid from her chest to grip the back of her neck, his hold tightening slightly, "Just _listen_. I will do everything in my power to get to you but I cannot help unless you allow him to bring you to _me_. Please trust that I will not allow him to hurt you. Once you are here, I will keep you safe."

Struck mute with fear and confusion, she said nothing.

"Tell me you understand," the man hissed, his onyx eyes bordering on desperate. "Tell me you will do as I say."

Unable to deny his request, her voice was small, "I do. I will."

He let out a sigh of what seemed like relief before he pressed his lips gently to her forehead, "Good girl."

It was then that another figure appeared just behind the man holding her, shrouded from the light by a billowing black velvet cloak and silver featureless face-mask. Before she could even register the presence of another person, she heard a serpentine voice bellow, " _Avada Kedavra_!"

Surrounded by a flash of green light, she felt the man in her grasp go rigid for a brief moment before crumpling to the ground, his obsidian eyes blank and empty- staring far away into nothing.

"No…" She reached blindly for the wand she just now remembered she owned. "No, no, no!" Her hands began to shake as she desperately searched her entire body for the wand she had kept on her person since she was 11. If she could just find it, maybe she could bring him back. Maybe she could…

The cloaked figure watched her struggle silently until finally, he spoke again.

"There is no spell to raise the dead, Hermione."

 _There is no spell to raise the dead._

 _No spell to raise the dead._

 _Raise the dead._

 _The dead._

 _Dead._

She took one look at the dark angel now crumpled at her feet and started screaming.

x-x-x

Hermione gasped, nearly falling from her bed in a panic. She pushed a few bushy, unmanageable curls out of her face and as her breathing slowed and the tremors in her limbs began to subside, she realized that she'd been having a nightmare…

The same one she'd had every night since her mother died six days before.

"Bloody dreams," she muttered, rubbing her fingers against her forehead. She flopped back gracelessly onto the bed and after reassuring herself that her wand was indeed underneath her pillow, reluctantly closed her eyes and forced herself to sleep. She would need every moment of it, after all; tomorrow was the funeral.

The next morning, Hermione stood next to an arched window in her black, knee-length dress, staring blankly at the perfectly groomed greenery below her. She couldn't believe that after 16 years of living in the same house with her mother and step-father, Monica and Wendell Granger, it would all be gone in the blink of an eye. Only a week ago, Hermione had been preparing her things to return for her final year at Beuxbatons when she was accosted by Aurors and informed that there had been an accident. All they claimed to know was what they had learned from the Muggle police: her mother had been at her dental practice when she had inexplicably died.

Right.

"Hermione?" Wendell called from the hall. "Hermione, are you almost ready to go?"

Soon, she knew Wendell would be poking his posh, golden head through the doorway and beckoning her to the car. To be perfectly honest, Hermione wasn't at all ready to leave him. It was obvious why her mum fell in love with him all those years ago. Not only was he strikingly handsome, with his perfectly coiffed blond hair, cerulean eyes, and strong frame, but he was also the kindest man she had ever known. They were perfect for each other in every way and since they were so alike, Hermione knew her mother's sudden death would be devastating to him. Her mum was never good with losing people she loved―neither was Wendell.

Poor, sweet Wendell. While she loved him dearly, Hermione had been curious about her real father and many years ago had finally gained the courage to ask about him. Her mum had said that she and Hermione's real father were just too different for it to work and left it at that. At times like this, when legalities were involved, she sincerely wished Wendell _was_ her father.

He appeared suddenly in the doorway, "The funeral starts in a half hour, sweets. We should get going."

Her heart wrenched at the silly nickname her parents often used for her, "Could we just―"

Wendell pressed his lips in a tight line, "Hermione, your things have already been sent to your father's. Delaying the funeral won't stop him from coming to take you. I know you don't want to live with him, but he _is_ your father. I would gladly keep you with me if I could, but Tom already made it clear that he wants you with him. Besides, you're going back to school soon so you will only have to see him on holiday breaks. Once you graduate, you can move anywhere you want, including back here if you want to. Do you really want to go to court over this now? When school starts so soon?"

She chewed her lip anxiously, "I am almost 19 now… considered an adult in both the muggle world and the magical one. Shouldn't I be allowed to choose my own—"

He sighed, running a hand over his mouth, "Unfortunately, per magical law, you must reside with your biological parents while you're still in school unless there is legal precedent otherwise. Your mother, she... she p-passed before we could get all the appropriate legal documents set up properly at Gringotts and now the paperwork is all tied up until the lawyers can figure out how to proceed. As of right now, you are—legally—dependent on your father."

Hermione wrung her hands anxiously. How was it fair to make her live with someone she didn't know when someone who loved her was right here?

"Honey, I know it isn't ideal," he murmured, moving across the room to place a hand on her shoulder, "but you'll get to know him. And you can always write to me from school," Wendell smiled. "Now come on, let's go."

Walking down the long, bright hallway made Hermione's heart ache. Pictures of the three of them hung undisturbed on the mint green walls, seeming to mock her as she passed. Each frame held ecstatic smiles or silly faces; the essence of a true family. She forced herself to look away—first her mum and now Wendell. It was too much.

Not another word was said as they stepped out onto the front porch. Hermione didn't even turn around to give the house one last glance as she slid into the car. She knew better than that.

x-x-x

The funeral home was, as expected, painted in various shades of black, white, and gray. The sight of the ominous building with large rounded windows and solemn greenery almost made her laugh- her mother would have absolutely hated it. At the thought of her bright, vivacious mother, Hermione had to bite back a new round of hysterics. Merlin, all she'd done over the past few days was cry; hadn't she exhausted her reserves yet?

At the gathering of downtrodden friends and devastated family who greeted them with condolences when they walked in, she found her control slipping again. The tears began to sting her eyes as they all let Hermione walk to the coffin at the front of the room in silence. The sight of her mum's body was almost unbearable. She was lying in that awful glossy casket, utterly motionless; her face as waxen as if she were a porcelain doll on display. The only consolation she could find was that at least her mum looked peaceful.

After what seemed like not nearly long enough, Wendell steered Hermione away from the casket with shimmering, averted eyes until she was standing at a tiny little podium near the front. The eulogy she'd prepared for her mother was probably too short to be proper, but there was only so much she could say about such a wonderful woman, a woman who she loved more than anything in the world, before the grief rose up and swallowed her again. When she finished, a few other friends and family members -Wendell included- gave their own somewhat broken speeches and once the eulogies were done, Hermione and Wendell received a swell of crushing hugs and tearful words of comfort.

Her father, stoic and utterly emotionless at the back of the room, was the only one who said nothing to her or to anyone else.

In the midst of her grief, it was hard not to feel biting fury at his presence. It felt impossible not to hate him in that moment; she knew she shouldn't, that her mother would most likely scold her for being so judgmental of someone she didn't know. But she was bitter and angry and judgmental towards him and not even the _least_ bit sorry for it. After all, Hermione only recognized him because of the very old, magical photograph her mother had given her back when she had grown curious.

Selfish, arrogant arsehole.

Between mingling chats Hermione would sneak glances at the father she didn't remember, trying to see if he would deign to say anything at all but every time he caught her stare, he simply looked away. His evasion sent another sharp pang through her already throbbing heart. As if her mother dying wasn't bad enough, her own father, who she was being forced to live with, couldn't look at her for more than a few seconds. How could it get any worse?

After another hour of the funeral service, Wendell put his hand on Hermione's shoulder, whispering in her ear just low enough for her to hear, "Hermione, I think you should go. Your father seems ready to leave."

" _Tom_ can wait," she hissed quietly. "Why should I accommodate him?"

"Please don't make this any more difficult than it has to be, sweets. I'm sure he'll take good care of you, and if he doesn't, you just send me an owl and I'll be right there at the Apparition point waiting to take you home."

"Really?"

Smiling, he nodded, "Laws be damned."

"Do you have any parchment? I could write you a letter in 2 minutes and we could avoid the owl altogether."

Wendell pulled her into a tight embrace, "I love you like you're my daughter, Hermione. I do. If there was anything I could to keep you with me, I would but—"

"I know. Ignore my whinging, I never wanted to make this more difficult for you," she could feel the tears threatening to spill over as she clung to her step-father one last time. "I love you too, Wendell. Please just take care of yourself while I'm away, alright?"

"Of course," he squeezed her shoulders, "now go, before he gives you absolute hell for taking so long."

"Okay, okay," Hermione sniffed. "I will see you soon... dad."

Wendell's smile was wobbly as he ushered her towards the back of the room, "Of course you will, sweets. I'll always be here."

x-x-x

It took awhile for Hermione to say her goodbyes to everyone as they all were all determined to make her cry one last time, but eventually she made it to where her father stood with his hands in the pockets of his pristine muggle suit, "Are you ready to leave?"

She nodded once, not even looking up.

He didn't appear hurt at her indifference as he gestured towards the large double doors, "After you, then."

Hermione and her father made their way to the closest Apparition point without exchanging another word. As they walked, she began to mull the situation over in her mind. Since her mother died and she learned that she was to live with Tom, it all seemed rather surreal. Certainly she and Wendell discussed it to death, but it never seemed like a real, tangible event until the moment she was walking beside the father she barely knew towards the unknown.

A new life... a clean slate. Did she really want to start over? Was her old life really so bad?

Internally, she rolled her eyes. It didn't really matter what she wanted anymore, did it?

When they finally reached the Apparition point—a dirty, unlit alleyway behind an abandoned shop a few blocks from the funeral home—her father held out his arm to her without even glancing in her direction. With a final sigh of resignation, Hermione gripped his arm and felt the tug behind her stomach that signaled Side-Along Apparition before they were whisked away into the night.

x-x-x

The dark, empty streets were illuminated by elegantly detailed street lamps, though Hermione could not possibly imagine why street lamps were needed here of all places. They were standing on a sidewalk in front of an empty lot; there was nothing anywhere near that required lighting at all. Without preamble, Tom reached into the pocket of his suit and produced a small scrap of parchment that he handed to her. She frowned before turning it over to see what it said.

 _7 Riddle House, Little Hangleton, England_.

An address?

When Hermione looked up to question her father, she noticed that the space in front of them was no longer empty, but rather occupied by a large house reminiscent of the Victorian era, complete with a wraparound porch and peaked windows. The house was a soft beige with accents of dark green around the porch and windows and the greenery around the house was beautifully manicured. Directly to her left was a large tree blooming with pink petals of some sort that fluttered in the soft breeze. Her heart did a nervous little leap; she absolutely _adored_ it.

"Remember the address," he said and without another word, he plucked the paper from her hands and it promptly went up in flames.

Hm, so the house was Secret-Kept. Interesting.

As they made their way up front steps, Tom added over his shoulder, "There are others in close vicinity of this house but their homes are also hidden. If you happen to see them around, do not speak to them. Stay out of their way and they'll stay out of yours."

She frowned at this but nodded her assent.

Through the beautiful, dark green double doors, Hermione's worst nightmares became a reality... she actually _liked_ the place. The walls were a pale green with dark silver borders; the carpets were a pearl-white, and the furniture in every room was all varying shades of amber and black.

Tom turned and regarded her clinically for a moment, "Before I leave you to unpack your things, I would just like to say that I believe it would be beneficial for us to be civil to one another. I know this was not your ideal arrangement but I will do my best to make things comfortable for you while possible."

Hermione barely managed to stifle her snort as she crossed her arms over her chest, "Is that what you believe? That is quite interesting, though I am curious- what exactly do you believe when it comes to being a parent? Have you given that much thought or have you spent all of your free time philosophizing about how my presence can _benefit_ you?"

Her father, emotionless since the moment he came back into her life, seemed to flicker to life minutely, "We will not discuss this. Life will be richer for us both with you here and that is all you need to know."

"That is what you think concerns me? Money?"

His eyes gleamed with something that made the back of Hermione's neck prickle with fear, "Some riches cannot be measured in currency and are far more valuable."

She was not entirely sure she wanted to know what he meant.

Tom glanced at a clock on the opposing wall for a split second before turning towards the door they just came through, "Much as I would like to continue debating this thrilling subject with you, I have somewhere to be. Your room is on the second floor, third door on the left at the top of the staircase. You may peruse the rest of the house at your leisure until you find everything you need. Tomorrow, one of my associates will be by to escort you to Diagon Alley so you may purchase your things for Hogwarts."

Not even in the house five minutes and she was already annoyed at her father's equally icy and condescending attitude, "I already have everything I need."

"Then you are to remain here until classes begin to familiarize yourself with the house."

"Familiarize myself… ? Wait, aren't I going to Hogwarts with everyone else?" She asked, her brow furrowed. "I was under the impression it was much the same as Beuxbatons, where the students live there during the year."

Her father turned to her, the candlelight in the entryway catching on a strange looking chain around his neck. He must have caught her eyeing it because he slid the necklace further under his collar until it was completely hidden, "It is. However, no daughter of _mine_ will live at Hogwarts. You will Floo to the school each day for your classes and return home the same way in the evening. You are to spend your weekends here as well and I am sure you'll find the library more than sufficient to keep you occupied."

As Tom tried to leave again, Hermione jerked forward and caught his arm, "Wait a bloody minute! Why am I being confined to this house like a prisoner? Why exactly can I not stay at the school with everyone else?"

He smoothly extracted his sleeve from her grasp before surveying her with rich brown eyes for a moment. When he spoke, it was as if he was simply discussing the weather, though his gaze glittered with something dark, "Because you, my child, would never survive there. And I simply cannot have that."

With that, Tom turned on his heel and the wards, which she had no doubt were all but impenetrable, settled softly around the house as he left.


	2. Revelio

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: As always, I don't own Harry Potter. J.K Rowling has that privilege.**

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2. _Revelio_

The rest of the week passed as if it were a very boring dream. Hermione stuck to the same routine each day: wake up, shower, breakfast, read, explore, lunch, read, dinner, read, sleep. By doing the same thing each and every day, it was almost easy to forget that her mother was gone and she was now nothing short of a prisoner in her father's home.

Speaking of her father, she had not seen hide nor hair of Tom since the night he brought her home. She thought it odd but had to admit it was much more bearable without him looming. The only other living creatures she had any contact with now was the house elf, Filly, and her cat, Crookshanks, who had finally graced her with his presence after sulking inside of her luggage for the better part of 3 days. It was finally the Sunday before term began, which meant her new life at Hogwarts would begin in a matter of hours. Hermione shuddered at the thought.

What had her father meant- she wouldn't survive there? Was it really that bad? There were a fair bit of nasty rumors going around about Durmstrang, but Hogwarts always seemed rather normal in comparison.

She frowned at the book she was reading, unsure of what to think about his cryptic comment.

The sun was just beginning to set, casting a lovely warm glow across the sitting room she currently adorned when she felt the wards on the house shimmer for the first time since she arrived. Someone was coming.

Right on cue, Filly _popped_ into the reception hall, "Master Snape!" The tiny elf squeaked with delight. "We is graced to have you here. What can Filly be doing for Master today?"

A silky baritone voice so warm it could melt chocolate drifted through the hall and into the sitting room, "I am here to speak with the Princess. Is she available?"

Hermione nearly dropped her book when she heard his voice; it was the same one from her dreams. She quickly caught herself when his words registered in her mind. Princess? _Princess?_ Who in the bloody hell did he think he was to mock her with such a ridiculous nickname? She ground her teeth. _Let her bring him to the sitting room_ , she thought to herself, _I'll show him a ruddy princess_.

Just then, Filly rapped on the sitting room door gently, "Miss Hermione?" The elf's large ears peeked through the crack in the door. "Filly has a guest to see Miss."

Summoning all of her manners and desperately tamping down on the urge to fling her book at the man who insulted her, Hermione let out a quiet breath before speaking, "Of course. Come on in, Filly."

The house elf pushed the doors open and walked in, bringing with her the fierce, austere man from Hermione's dreams. The house elf bowed deeply before the man, her bony arm sweeping out towards the couch where she sat, "Master Snape, this is Filly's Mistress. Miss Hermione, this is Master Snape."

Hermione smiled warmly at the doting little elf, she was so fond of her already, "Thank you very much, Filly. Would you be so kind as to bring us some tea?"

Filly beamed, bowing so quickly her ears flapped about her head, "Yes, yes Miss! Filly will bring it right away!" And with a quick _pop!_ she was gone.

Hermione set her book on the small table beside her but just as she was about to stand to greet him, the man bowed slightly at the waist, one arm tucked formally behind his back, "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Princess. My name is Severus Snape."

 _Princess. Finally._ His dream voice floated sensuously across her mind and her stomach wound itself into quite the knot.

Once again torn between annoyance and mushy bones, she willed annoyance to win out, "It is nice to meet you as well, Master Snape. However, I must insist you refrain from such a ridiculous pet name or I'm quite afraid I will be forced to hex your bollocks off."

His head snapped up and his bottomless onyx eyes widened minutely before he seemed to stifle a grin that threatened the corners of his mouth. He took a moment to straighten himself to his full height, easily surpassing 6 feet she surmised, before politely inclining his head, "I meant no disrespect, I assure you. That is simply what we have all been instructed to address you as. However, seeing as it displeases you…"

She snorted rather inelegantly, "Of course it does, it's utterly ridiculous. Why on earth would anyone call me that?"

Filly _popped!_ into the room and placed the tea tray on the coffee table between Severus and Hermione before disappearing again without a word. Severus knelt next to the table and quickly fixed two cups of tea: one with honey for her and one with milk and one sugar for himself. When he handed the cup to her, she didn't even bother to ask how he knew about her tea preferences. Her overbearing father probably had a whole file on her food and beverage preferences somewhere. He perched himself on a regal armchair diagonal from the couch she occupied and sipped his tea pensively for a moment before he seemingly made a decision. "Do you know why I am here?"

Hermione set her tea cup on her knee, "Going by the last conversation I had with Tom, I would have to assume you are here to prepare me for Hogwarts."

"That is certainly part of the reason," Severus acquiesced. "However, I would be lying if I said that was all. Your father sent me—"

"Of bloody course he—"

"—because I am to be your keeper."

Her fingers froze around the porcelain of her teacup and her eyes grew murderous, "My _what_?"

"Your father failed to mention that you were hard of hearing. Shall I cast a _Sonorus_ charm?"

She narrowed her eyes, "Very funny."

Severus smirked, "Yes, I thought so," he paused to take a sip of his tea before setting the cup on the arm of the chair. "Miss Granger, please excuse the somewhat poor phrasing, but do you know who your father is?"

"Considering that I have been reduced to a prisoner in this house, you have been instructed to call me 'Princess', I am not allowed to reside at Hogwarts, and I apparently need a nanny, perhaps you should explain it to me."

For the first time, his expression darkened and his lips curled into a sneer, "A keeper is _not_ a nanny, Miss Granger. A keeper is bodyguard, charged with protecting your _life_."

Her eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into her hairline, "And why would I need one of those?"

"Perhaps," Severus stood as his expression calmed, holding his arm towards her in a gentlemanly fashion, "we should take an opportunity to peruse the grounds."

"But the wards…"

"I am your keeper, Miss Granger. I assure you, I have full access to this house and the wards that protect it. Now please," he titled his head towards his outstretched arm. "I would much prefer to have this conversation elsewhere."

Not wanting to anger the man who, apparently, had been charged with her wellbeing, Hermione tucked her hand into the crook of his slender arm and allowed him to lead her from the house where she had been trapped for the last week. The moment they stepped onto the porch and the fresh air hit her, Hermione couldn't help but exhale with relief. "Merlin, I missed this," she murmured, feeling the breeze ruffle her ridiculous hair.

They didn't go far, only walking to the edge of the perfectly manicured grass where it met the sidewalk before beginning a slow lap around the grounds, but after being stuck inside for days without even being able to open a window thanks to the ungodly tight wards her father had set, Hermione would take anything she could get. It took a moment for the situation to really set in before the dreams began rushing back to her, causing a small ripple to travel down her spine as she clenched his arm just a little tighter. If he noticed that she was now a little breathless, it didn't show.

After a few more moments of silence, Hermione finally forced herself to speak first, "We are elsewhere, now. Tell me, how do you know my father, Master Snape?"

His muscles stiffened slightly, "I am his second in command."

"His second in— what in the name of Merlin are you talking about? What kind of work needs a _second in command_?"

Severus stopped abruptly as he whipped his wand from his sleeve and cast a quick _Muffliato_ around them before turning to face her, "What do you know of Death Eaters?"

Hermione recoiled slightly, unnerved by his sudden change in behavior, "They... they want to take over, to rule over Muggles. They preach about the importance of blood purity. They…" Her voice grew soft. "They rape and murder and torture anyone they deem unworthy or a hindrance to their cause."

He surveyed her for what seemed like an inordinate amount of time before he spoke again, "And how do you feel about them and their _cause_?"

She didn't miss a beat, "They should all be in Azkaban, awaiting a Kiss."

At her admission, he remained silent. His only response was an almost imperceptible darkening of his eyes.

Realization hit her hard and fast as an icy dread spread through her limbs, "Surely my father is not… Tom would never… he's not _one_ of them, is he?"

Severus shook his head, his silky black hair fluttering about his face in the open air, "No, Miss Granger, your father is not one of them," he paused, quickly assessing their surroundings before he continued. "Your father is their King."

Hermione felt like she had taken a blow to the stomach, "But… that would mean that I…"

"Yes."

It took all of her control to remain standing and breathing calmly. So many, many things made sense now. So much of her father's aloof and capricious behavior throughout her life finally clicked in her head. It all fell together like a perfectly made puzzle.

She was the daughter of Lord Voldemort. His followers were instructed to call her 'Princess'. She had a bodyguard.

Hermione felt sick.

Against her will, Hermione's legs turned to jelly beneath her as she fell to her knees in the grass. She wound her hands in her unruly hair, shaking her head in an attempt to dispel the truth but unable to rid herself of it. She wanted to close her eyes and vomit, cry, scream- but her body refused to cooperate. Instead, she remained on the ground a quivering mess, the grip on her curls so tight it brought pained tears to her wild, unblinking eyes.

She wasn't sure how long she remained like that, but eventually Severus knelt down in front of her and gently removed her hands from her hair, "That is quite enough of that."

His voice seemed to bring her crashing back to reality. Hermione suddenly yanked his left arm and tore frantically at the buttons around his wrist, roughly shoving the sleeve of black wool to the elbow. Just as she feared, the milky white skin of his forearm was marred with a hideous skull and serpent tattoo. "You, too."

"Yes," he admitted quietly. "But it is not what you think."

Cinnamon met onyx as she turned her imploring gaze to him, "There must be some mistake."

Severus sighed deeply, "Miss Granger, I know this is a shock—"

Her voice was creeping towards hysteria, "No! No, you don't understand. This _cannot_ be true. This is impossible. My father absolutely can _not_ be Lord Voldemort."

He very slowly attempted to extricate his arm from her grasp but when she would not relent, Severus used his other hand to grip her shoulder in a reassuring manner, "If you would just give me a moment to—"

Before he could even blink, Hermione waved her hand at his throat casting a wandless, non-verbal _Silencio_ to quiet him. His eyes narrowed dangerously but she was completely unrepentant as she spoke. "Master Snape, _you_ _don't understand_. Tom cannot be Lord Voldemort because he's not a pureblood!"

To say that Severus looked shocked would be quite the understatement. His eyes were wide as saucers, his lips forming a small 'o'.

Hermione removed the _Silencio_ from his throat but he still did not speak. Her fingers bit into the delicate flesh of his forearm as she willed her keeper to believe her, "Tom is a half-blood, Master Snape. Just like me."

x-x-x

Despite a decidedly restless night, Hermione awoke easily to the infernal alarm blasting from her wand on the bedside table. It wasn't just the looming prospect of Hogwarts that had sleep eluding her all night…

 _"A half-blood," it was clear from the tone of those three words alone that he'd been questioning her sanity. "I assure you, Miss Granger, that you are incorrect. The Dark Lord is most certainly_ not _a half-blood."_

 _She'd stubbornly continued to shake her head, anger bubbling slowing to the surface at his flippant dismissal of her assertion, "I may not know my father very well, Master Snape, but I remember everything my mother ever told me about him. He is a half-blood, I would stake my life on it."_

 _It had been a very long time before he'd spoken again, his brow furrowed and eyes staring vacantly at the ground. When he'd finally looked up at her, his eyes were hard, "I expect you to keep you and your father's blood status to yourself, is that clear?"_

 _Hermione bristled immediately; so much like her mother, "I am not a child nor do I appreciate you treating me as one. When you want me to do something, just tell me why and I will do as you ask, but I will warn you now that I do not take orders on blind faith. You might be my keeper, but I won't tolerate you being an arsehole."_

 _One elegant black eyebrow raised condescendingly, "You say you are not a child and yet I can see that you are dangerously close to throwing a tantrum. What are you going to do if I am rude, Miss Granger? Tell on me?"_

 _Her smile had been smug when his face froze in shock then quickly melted to anger. She'd dug the tip of her wand- now now at the tender flesh of his inner thigh- into his skin just a bit harder for effect. Had he forgotten how they were simply kneeling in the grass, his precious parts so carelessly exposed? Men, always so arrogant. "Of course not, Master Snape. That would be…_ childish _of me. No, I would much rather correct the problem myself."_

 _Severus had practically snarled at her, his crooked teeth bared like a rabid dog, "Remove your fucking wand or I will do it for you_ much _less gently."_

 _"Then I suggest you treat me with some respect. I am_ not _some helpless little girl for you to bark orders at. I will have you know that at Beuxbatons, I was the top of my class by a mile. I have been called the Brightest Witch of the Age, the Brightest Witch of my Generation, and I have the practical spell knowledge to back it up. To be honest with you, Master Snape, I do not need a keeper because I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, whether you believe so or not. However, Tom apparently has some ridiculous notion in his head that I am weak little girl so for the time being, I am stuck with you. But know this…" Hermione's voice dropped as she'd slid her wand even higher up his inner thigh, "You don't need your bollocks to protect me and you would be foolish if you thought I'd never used the spell before."_

 _The fury had not drained from his face, but he gave her a single curt nod anyway. When she finally removed her wand, Hermione had been hit with something most unexpected._

 _"You may call me Severus."_

 _It had been impossible to hide her confusion at his unexpected declaration._

 _His eyes rolled dramatically as he stood, "You may be an impertinent little chit, but I am your keeper and as such, we will be spending an inordinate amount of time together. May as well dispense with the formalities now that you have made your intentions for my bollocks perfectly clear."_

 _She slid her wand back into secret nook she'd had sewn into the waistband of her jeans and retook her place at his side, "I suppose… you may call me Hermione, as well."_

 _They began to walk again, his arms clasped tightly behind his back, as he gave one short, barking laugh, "And give your father the pleasure of removing my bollocks himself? No, I think not. I rather like them where they are."_

 _His words had brought the reality of the situation crashing back down around her, "He wants me to be like him, doesn't he?"_

 _There was nothing but the sound of the breeze rustling crisp, fallen leaves for a long time, "I cannot say for certain what he wants, all I know is that you are of the utmost importance to whatever it is."_

 _"And if his true blood status were known…"_

 _Severus hesitated, "Then the person who spread such information would most certainly be dead by morning."_

 _They did not speak of Tom again._

 _The remainder of their time together had been used to prepare Hermione for Hogwarts. To her intense surprise, Severus was to be her Potions professor and she had already been preemptively Sorted into Slytherin. How convenient that he was their Head of House as well._

 _"I suppose I really shouldn't be surprised, considering Tom was in Slytherin, but I am a bit hesitant after the things I've read about that particular house," she admitted._

 _For what seemed like the hundredth time, he rolled his eyes, "You are the daughter of the Dark Lord and yet being sorted into Slytherin is what frightens you? Merlin help us all."_

 _Hermione couldn't help but smile as his dramatics, "To be honest, I actually imagined myself in Gryffindor. You know, bravery and all that."_

 _"You, Miss Granger, are far too cunning to be thrown in with those insufferable dunderheads. They would only hold you back."_

 _She laughed, thinking of the way in which she'd managed to threaten him, "You may be right."_

 _When they had reached the house again, Severus led Hermione back into the sitting room and ordered a pot of fresh tea from Filly._

 _"You should know," he began as he nursed the steaming cup between his long, elegant hands, "everyone is aware of who you are. You will be met with much hostility, anger, and suspicion from everyone other than those in Slytherin. My position at the school and with your father keeps me busy much of the time so I will not always be near should you need immediate assistance. Even so, it wouldn't do for others to see me protecting you outright; it is best for our relationship to remain quiet for the time being. My advice would be to stay close to those in your house and never go anywhere alone."_

 _"I see," she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "So that must be the reason I am not allowed to live at Hogwarts then."_

 _Severus nodded, "To be frank, Miss Granger, it would be a veritable blood bath. Intelligent and powerful as you no doubt are, I am certain you would be unable to hold your own against all three rival houses coming after you at once. Many of them have lost family members in this war your father is waging and they are going to want to take it out on you, unfair as it may be."_

 _"Lovely."_

" _Those in Slytherin know all about you, Miss Granger. I made certain of that. They know you grew up with your other parents and that you hardly know anything at all of your father's… activities beyond what has been in the papers. I assure you, you will not be alone in Slytherin."_

 _The tension eased from her shoulders at this just a bit, "Every cloud, I suppose."_

 _When the heavy clock above the mantle tolled half past 9, Severus straightened his frock coat and set his cup aside, "I must return to the school but every fireplace in this house is connected to the Floo in my chambers. Should you ever need me when you are here, I am but a Floo call away."_

 _"Is that…" She blushed furiously and the cursed herself internally for doing so. "Is that where I'm supposed to Floo to each morning before classes?"_

 _He chuckled, the rich, rumbling sound settling deep in her bones, "Unless you are keen on seeing me in naught but my shorts, I would advise against that. The Floo to my quarters is only to be used in an emergency. However, tonight I will connect the Floo in my office and then you can come through that way. Do you have your timetable and uniforms? Your map?"_

 _She nodded._

 _"Good. Then, Miss Granger, I will see you tomorrow for your first Potions lesson," Severus grabbed the Floo powder from the mantle and took a large handful before turning to her a final time. "And Miss Granger? Despite the nature of our… relationship, I expect nothing less than an Outstanding from you in Potions and you will receive no special treatment from me. Is that clear?"_

 _Hermione huffed, her hands indignantly on her hips, "Potions was my second best subject, you arse."_

 _She could still see the glint in his onyx eyes and feel his snarky laughter reverberating around her as he disappeared into the emerald flames. When she had finally managed to quell her anxiety enough to climb into bed, Hermione spent the remainder of the undoubtedly sleepless night desperately wishing Severus had not left her with the image of him without most of his clothing in her mind._


	3. Protego

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own Harry Potter, that is all J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

3\. _Protego_

After rehashing the previous day for the tenth time in her mind, Hermione finally mustered up enough energy to get out of bed, trudging to her bathroom where she desperately hoped her morning ablutions would help to make her feel more human.

When she was clean, dry, and dressed in her standard issue Hogwarts uniform, Hermione grabbed her bag and Slytherin adorned robes from the squashy black armchair across from her bed. It did not escape her notice, as she made her way down to the front room in the silent house, that Tom had still seemingly not come home. His erratic schedule was already making the prospect of living with him more much more bearable.

The clock above the mantle chimed eight times, signifying that she was already running late for breakfast in the Great Hall. She snatched a handful of Floo powder and stepped into the fireplace as she called out, "Severus' office."

From a whirl of green flames, Hermione stumbled rather unceremoniously out of the fireplace and onto the thin carpet in front of it. Unable to cease her momentum, she smacked her face directly into the high back of a black leather armchair that was sitting only a few feet from the grate.

"Owww," she moaned, rubbing her sore nose. "Who puts their desk right in front of the Floo? Bloody masochist."

When Hermione managed to finally right herself and spell the soot from her clothes and skin, she couldn't help but take a few moments to look around. The large window to the left of his desk did not look outside, but rather into what seemed like a large body of water. In the daylight, the murky waters bathed the office in a soft olive glow, illuminating the hundreds of specimen-filled luminescent jars that lined the shelves on the walls. She ran the pads of her fingers over a few of them, squinting to try and decipher what could possibly be inside. It wasn't until she felt the distinct magical tingle of wards surrounding some of the jars behind his desk that Hermione remembered where she was supposed to be going. She picked her bag up from the floor in front of the fireplace and went out the only door in the room but was surprised when she didn't encounter a hallway, but rather a spotless Potions classroom.

Luckily there were only two other doors in the classroom, a small closed one to the far left which was most likely to storage cupboard and a large rounded open one at the front, where she could see wrought iron sconces casting warm glows over the castle's stone walls. Once in the hallway, Hermione dug in her bag for the enchanted map of Hogwarts that had been left for her among her school things.

"Where in the…" It took her a moment before she remembered. The map was sitting on the desk in her room and she had forgotten to grab it. "Oh, that is just wonderful." How was she supposed to get around now?

"Potions at 8 in the morning? You must be lost."

Hermione turned to see a girl about her height with a short, inky black bob and light green eyes assessing her thoughtfully. Her face was slightly squished, like that of a pug, but when she noticed the Slytherin sigil on Hermione's robes, she smiled and her face became quite pretty.

"I am," Hermione admitted. "And it seems I've forgotten my map."

"Ah, so that would make you Hermione Granger, right?"

She gave a small nod.

"I'm Pansy Parkinson. Slytherin, obviously. I'm on my way to breakfast if you want to join me?"

"That would be great, thank you."

If Hermione had been nervous regarding her somewhat lacking social graces, Pansy quickly dispelled her fears by taking the lead. "When Professor Snape told us you were going to be coming here and that you were Sorted into Slytherin, we almost couldn't believe it. Everyone had _heard_ of you of course, but no one had ever seen you before. I think some of us were starting to doubt you actually existed."

Her brow furrowed, "Even before I was set to come here, you all knew about me?"

Pansy seemed confused by the question, "Of course we did. There have rumors going around about you for as long as I can remember."

"That seems so odd."

"Does it?"

"Most definitely."

"Mmmm," said Pansy noncommittally. "Maybe it just seems strange to you because he's your father."

"What do you mean?"

The other girl seemed thoughtful for a moment, "Your father is very powerful these days. Maybe he wasn't always like that, but it's hard to imagine him any other way now. I think most people just have a hard time imagining him as a normal man with a wife and a family. I think a lot people refused to believe it all. That's probably why so many didn't really think you were real. Salazar's ghost, your mother must have been quite a formidable witch to end up with him, even if he wasn't as powerful back then. I…" Pansy cleared her throat. "I'm sorry for your loss, by the way."

 _I expect you to keep you and your father's blood status to yourself._ "Thank you," Hermione managed in a soft voice. "She was quite extraordinary."

"Do the Aurors know what happened?"

She shook her head, not wanting to discuss her mother any further. Pansy seemed to take the hint and thankfully refrained from speaking of it again. Sooner than Hermione expected, they arrived in the main foyer outside of the monstrous wood and iron-wrought double doors of the Great Hall.

"Here we are," Pansy said. "It's pretty much a straight shot from the Potions classroom so you should be able to find it easy enough from now on, assuming that's where you'll be coming from every day."

"Thank y—"

The other girl simply shook her head, "Don't worry about it. Now I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

Hermione followed Pansy into the Great Hall, which was already packed to the brim with students at their respective house tables and the staff at the head table adorning the dais at the front of the cavernous room. Scanning the staff table quickly, Hermione caught sight of Severus, who gave her an almost imperceptible nod before returning to his conversation with a wrinkled older woman in a large witch's hat. At his acknowledgment, she felt a small measure of peace settle over her, but that only lasted until she and Pansy crossed the threshold together; suddenly, it was as though a silencing charm had been cast over the entire student body. Everyone, save the Slytherins who immediately stood, froze in their seats and turned their eyes to her. It wasn't difficult to discern how they felt about her presence from the identical looks in all of their eyes. Hermione blushed furiously and ducked her head a little. She didn't consider herself a coward by any means, but there was something rather daunting about being in room full of people that decided to hate you before they had ever laid eyes on you.

"Perhaps I should…"

Before she could take even a single step back, Pansy grabbed her sleeve and dragged her to the Slytherin table where all of her housemates waited respectfully. When they reached a clear stretch of bench, Pansy took a seat and pulled Hermione down next to her. Once she was seated, everyone in Slytherin house sat back down and the rest of the student body seemed to come back to life as the dull roar of conversations continued.

"Now what do we have here?" A tall, dark-skinned boy across from her smiled, flashing a set of dazzling, white teeth. "You must be the elusive Hermione Granger we've all heard so much about. So _lovely_ to finally meet you."

A pale boy with regally styled white-blond hair elbowed him directly in the ribs, eliciting a pained hiss from the darker boy, "Salazar's bollocks, Blaise, she hasn't even been here five minutes and you're already preparing to proposition her. Have you no shame?"

The darker-skinned one, Blaise, grinned wolfishly in her direction, "Not when it comes to beautiful witches, I don't."

"Give it a rest, Blaise," Pansy grunted, spooning scrambled eggs onto her plate. "Her father would make mince pie out of you if you ever touched her." She inclined her head toward Hermione. "Just ignore him, we all do."

"I will have you know that I have personally bedded over half of the available, of-age witches in this school. And correct me if I'm wrong but… you were one of those witches, weren't you Pansy?"

She waved her elegantly manicured hand dismissively in the air, "Firewhisky lowers even the best of us."

Hermione had to stifle a small laugh at the group's antics.

The blond boy rolled his eyes, "I apologize for the uncouth behavior of these two, Hermione. I assure you, most Slytherins are much more respectable."

Blaise laughed heartily, "Draco Malfoy calling someone uncouth? Now _that's_ hilarious."

Suddenly, Blaise's face began sprouting large pustules as Draco twirled his wand in his hand, "Keep it up, Zabini. I would be more than happy to practice my non-verbal spells on you all day."

He looked horrified, "Alright, alright I'm sorry! Cancel it!"

"Sometimes it feels like I'm the only mature one in this little trio," Pansy sighed dramatically. Once the two boys across from them were sufficiently engrossed in their breakfast, Pansy lowered her voice to Hermione, tilting her head towards the red and gold adorned table at the opposite end of the room, "Speaking of which, do you see those three boys over there?"

Attempting to be somewhat subtle, Hermione looked towards the Gryffindor table where three boys were sitting together, somewhat isolated from the rest of their peers. The first boy was obviously built for Quidditch, with broad shoulders and thick bands of arm muscles. His skin was milky under a shock of bright orange hair and he shoveled mounds of food into his mouth like there was a nationwide egg and bacon shortage. The second one was taller, leaner, with smooth chocolate brown hair and an easy crooked smile. After laughing at something the redhead said, he pulled out a book- _Advanced Herbology_? She couldn't be certain from such a distance. Unlike his two friends however, the third boy simply sat with his chin in his hand staring off into space. He had a thick mop of unruly black hair sticking up in every direction and his eyes were framed by a pair of thick-rimmed, round glasses. As if sensing her gaze, he turned to look directly at her.

She was immediately taken aback by the level of loathing in his face.

Hermione felt panic nibbling at the edges of her mind as he glared at her, "Who are they?"

Choosing to resurface from his plate, Blaise turned his head around to see who they were talking about. When he turned back to the girls, he simply grunted into the pumpkin juice now at his lips, "Here we go."

"Really, Pansy? The Golden Trio already?" Draco asked contemptuously. "She hasn't even eaten her breakfast yet."

"She needs to know!" Pansy hissed. "You know what Professor Snape told us: it's our job to look out for her. And if anyone's going to be trouble, it's those three."

"Alright, alright. Go on then."

"You have to be careful around them," Pansy gestured towards the three boys across the room. "The redhead, that's Ron Weasley. Not terribly bright but he's filled out over the past few years thanks to Quidditch and now he's even stronger than he looks. The one with the book is Neville Longbottom. He may look like he could charm the knickers off a nun but he has a wicked eye for Herbology and has been known to grow illegal, dangerous plants. And that's Harry Potter, with the glasses. Average intelligence and skill but reckless with a violent temper and a hero complex."

"Those names…" Hermione tapped the table absently with her spoon. "They sound so familiar."

Blaise nodded, "They've been all over the papers the past few years. Even living in France, I'd be surprised if you'd never heard of them."

Pansy _tsked_ her tongue at him before returning her attention to Hermione, "Those three have been the most… affected by your father. Professor Snape told us that you don't really know him that well or and aren't involved in the things he's doing but…"

"But that won't matter to them," Draco interceded. "You are related to the Dark Lord. That's all they need to know."

"Are you saying that those boys might try to… hurt me?"

Each of them nodded.

"What did my father do to them?"

They all shifted uncomfortably before Pansy spoke up, "One of Weasley's older brothers was killed a few years ago in a fight with some Death Eaters at the Department of Mysteries. The brother that was killed was a twin and rumor has it the other one went a little barmy afterwards. Longbottom's parents were… actively outspoken against the Dark Lord and one of his most, er, loyal followers _Crucioed_ his parents right into insanity. They've been in St. Mungo's for something like 16 years now. And Potter's father was killed when he was a baby; he somehow managed to stave off the Dark Lord long enough for Potter's mother to escape with him to safety. And… well, Potter is the Chosen One." At the look of confusion on Hermione's face, she nearly collapsed. "You know, _the Chosen One_. The one they say is destined by prophecy to defeat the Dark Lord."

Destined to kill her father? Hermione had admittedly conflicted, confusing feelings about that. She was well aware that the crimes he and his followers committed all in the name of, what she considered to be a sham of a cause, to be utterly heinous and reprehensible… but he was still her father, wasn't he? She hated him and yet... "But I'm not a part of any of that. None of those things have anything to do with me."

"Like Draco said, it doesn't matter to them. You and your father share the same blood, so to them, hurting you is the same as hurting him."

"We've all seen how they operate," Blaise added. "None of them are confident enough to try anything on their own, so if they want to get to you they'll most likely do it in pairs."

She could feel her notorious temper simmering just below the surface, confirmed when her bushy curls began to frizz at the edges. How dare these people condemn her for the sins of her father? They didn't know her. They didn't know that she had fought tooth-and-nail not to be sent to him. They didn't know how horrified she was at the thought of being anything like Tom. They didn't know that, while she did feel some semblance of love for the man, she never wanted to follow in his footsteps. They didn't know that she didn't give a shite about purebloods or half-bloods or muggleborns, that she believed everyone with magic was equal. _How dare they plan to harm her when they didn't even know her?_ When she spoke, her voice was sharp as glass, "Let them try."

Both boys burst into surprised laughter and Pansy gave a wry smile, "I'm not so sure you need us to watch out for you after all."

x-x-x

After breakfast concluded, all the students began making their way from the Great Hall to their respective classes. As they were following everyone else out, Blaise let out a long, dramatic groan.

"Divination at nine in the morning! Merlin's left testicle, they should torture prisoners with that in Azkaban."

Draco snickered, "I tried to tell you."

"Hermione, what do you have first today?" Pansy asked.

She rummaged through her bag for a moment before she found her slightly crinkled timetable, "Mmm… looks like Arithmancy is first for me."

Blaise made a gagging noise, "I take it back. _That_ is the worst form of torture imaginable."

"Here, let me see," the other girl nabbed the schedule from Hermione's hand and scanned it quickly. "Hmm… Arithmancy with Ravenclaw, Muggle Studies with Gryffindor, Ancient Runes with Hufflepuff, then Potions with Gryffindor. And after Potions you have free period to work on your N.E.W.T. project. That isn't too terrible, I guess. We have all of our classes together anyway."

The girls began to make their way up the large central staircase when Hermione tripped over something and stumbled against the banister. When she looked down, she found the source: a single, purple trainer with bright orange shoelaces.

"Sorry about that," came a dreamy voice. "It seems that someone has misplaced my favorite shoe again." A pale, slender girl with silver-blond hair bent down to grab her trainer but paused when she noticed Hermione. "Oh, hello Hermione Granger." The girl seemed contemplative, "You know, you are much less frightening than everyone thought you would be. In fact, you seem exceptionally ordinary to me."

"Thank you… I think."

After slipping her foot back into her shoe, the girl grabbed her small bag from the stair and placed a pair of large, odd-shaped glasses on her face, "Be careful on the third floor, Hermione Granger. Nargles like to hide behind the portraits up there."

And with that, the girl disappeared into the crowd.

Nargles? How odd.

As Hermione turned back towards the top of the stairs, she realized that Pansy, Draco, and Blaise were gone and she was completely lost in a crowd of unfamiliar people.

Unfamiliar people who kept staring and whispering behind their hands.

Her palms began to sweat. The enchanted map was still lying on her desk at home and now she had no idea where to go. She didn't dare ask anyone for directions. Hermione tried to find the familiar curtain of silky black hair over the crowd ambushing the staircase, but to her dismay, Severus was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps she could make her way back to the Potions classroom and slip into his office long enough to dash through the Floo and grab her map. Perhaps if she hurried…

"You'll never make it to class with all those wrackspurts milling about in your head," the dreamy voice came from behind her again. It was the same girl whose shoe Hermione had tripped over. "If you're on your way to Arithmancy, which I suspect you are, I would be more than happy to walk with you."

Hermione gave the girl a hesitant smile, trying not to be cowed by the frightening amount of blue, rather than green, adorning her robes, "I would greatly appreciate that."

They walked in silence for a while, with Hermione desperately trying to ignore the tension she could feel rolling off of everyone she passed in great waves. It wasn't until they cleared the moving staircase to the fifth floor that the girl spoke, "Try not to let their hostility frighten you, Hermione Granger. Most people fear things they don't understand, that's all. I suspect they are concerned because you do not look like an evil person and that disconcerts them."

"I think they are probably less concerned about what I'm actually like and more apt to comparing me to my father," she said quietly, gripping the strap of her bag a little tighter as some large boys shoved roughly past her.

"Yes, you are probably right about that."

Once they were more alone in the hallway, Hermione cleared her throat in embarrassment, "How rude of me, I forgot to ask your name."

"It's perfectly understandable Hermione Granger, I imagine you were quite distraught after all. My name is Luna Lovegood, although some people tend to call me 'Looney' and I don't care for that at all."

"Not to pry, but do… do people _misplace_ your things often, Luna?" Hermione asked, though she suspected the answer.

She shrugged, seemingly unbothered, "Like I said, they fear anything they don't understand. If absconding with my things from time to time makes them feel more at ease, then that's just fine with me."

"You are quite a unique person, you know."

Luna stopped in front a classroom that was already half-full and gave a wistful smile, "Thank you for the compliment, Hermione Granger. You are most unique yourself and already the wrackspurts are beginning to disburse, which is just as well considering we have Arithmancy so early in the morning."

She chose not to ask what on Earth wrackspurts were.

As they entered the intimate classroom, Pansy came darting over to them, "Hermione, I am so sorry I lost you. Once second you were right behind me and the next thing I knew, you were gone! You didn't run into any trouble did you?"

Hermione shook her head, "No, Luna was kind enough to walk with me to class."

"Lovegood?" Pansy glanced hesitantly at the ethereal girl she just now seemed to notice was standing beside Hermione. "That was… nice. Thanks, Luna."

"Oh it was no problem at all. Hermione Granger is quite lovely and not at all the terrifying Death Eater everyone assumed she would be."

Pansy stiffened a little and lightly fingered the sleeve of her left arm.

"Well have a pleasant day, you two. Oh, and there is a Blibbering Humdinger milling about in the bathroom on this floor so I would avoid it if at all possible," and then Luna drifted away towards a desk on the other side of the room.

Hermione didn't even have a chance to ask Pansy what a Blibbering Humdinger was before their exotic-looking Arithmancy professor, Professor Vector, appeared at the front of the room and started mapping out equations with her multicolored chalk. Throughout the class, Hermione raised her hand when appropriate and answered several questions that no one else had been able to. This had earned Slytherin some admittedly reticent House points, but more importantly, by the end of the lesson Professor Vector seemed almost comfortable interacting with her. It was a small step, but a step in the right direction nonetheless.

Muggle Studies with Gryffindor, however, was a decidedly less pleasant animal altogether. First and foremost, their instructor, Professor Binns, was dead. More accurately, his portrait was teaching them and it did not seem terribly thrilled at the prospect.

"Good morning N.E.W.T. class," Professor Binns said in an utterly disinterested tone. "Before we begin, I'd like to see who knows their Muggle literature. Hmm... Mr. Weasley," the painted hand pointed to the burly redhead Hermione had seen in the Great Hall. "Can you tell me who wrote _Hamlet_?"

Ron Weasley scratched the back of his head, "Uh… Romeo or something, right?"

"Try again, Mr. Weasley."

"Er, he's got one name I think but…"

Hermione tried, she really did, but she couldn't help it. She stifled a small snort. This was a seventh year N.E.W.T. course. How did he not know who Shakespeare was? Beuxbatons covered a broad variety of his works when she was only a fifth year, after all.

Professor Binns turned and eyed her warily, "Miss Granger, I take it you know the correct answer?"

She nodded, flushing at having been caught, "Yes, sir. William Shakespeare wrote _Hamlet_. Romeo Montague was a character in Shakespeare's play _Romeo and Juliet_."

Weasley did not look happy.

"Very good, Miss Granger. Five points to Slytherin. Which brings me to our lesson: today we will be starting a new book," he gestured to the stack on his desk. " _Hamlet_ by William Shakespeare. This is a literary classic and if not now, when?"

The class groaned in unison but Hermione was thrilled. She loved to read and Shakespeare, though not necessarily one of her Muggle favorites, certainly had a way with plots that she could appreciate.

"Mr. Thomas," Professor Binns gestured towards a dark-skinned boy sitting beside Weasley at the back of the class. "Please give everyone a copy of _Hamlet_ and then we'll begin."

He quickly grabbed the small pile and began to pass them out, starting with the back of the classroom where the Gryffindors sat. She could see that the top of the pile held the newest copies while those on the bottom were much rattier. Hermione rolled her eyes at such childish antics; House rivalries were obviously strong here.

She came back to reality at a loud _thud_ on her desk. The book was now laying open in front of her and one quote in particular stood out:

" _Frailty, thy name is woman!_ "

So it was to be one of those.

At reading the single line, Hermione slammed the book shut. She hated the preconceived notions about woman from Shakespeare's time. Not _all_ women had been flighty, helpless creatures. Queen Elizabeth I, who had been in power when Shakespeare was born, was proof of that fact.

"Is there a problem, Miss Granger?" Professor Binns asked, obviously noticing her sudden annoyance at the book.

She felt an immense number of eyes turn to her in unison, waiting. She was hesitant to answer, seeing as how everyone had already made such harsh judgments about her. Would he take House points due to her strong opinion? Hermione really didn't want to alienate her Housemates when Severus had made it clear that they were the only ones she would be able to count on for support.

"Well?" He persisted, raising a bushy white eyebrow.

Hermione took a deep breath, "I admire Shakespeare, sir, please don't get me wrong, but I am not exactly a fan of his notions regarding women."

"And what brings this up, Miss Granger?"

"When my book was dropped onto my desk, it opened to a page where the first quote I saw was ' _Frailty, thy name is woman_ ' and I suppose it bothered me."

"I see your point, but it raises the question: how do you know that Shakespeare himself had this somewhat common idea about the weakness and fickleness of women? How do you know that the people he surrounded himself with didn't urge him to put it in the play for the sole purpose that he would relate to his audience better? Also, how can you be sure that he didn't just put this in his play as a way of describing Hamlet's feelings towards women, his mother in particular, instead of his own?" His eyebrows raised and the room was silent.

Hermione frowned, "I suppose that's a possibility, sir. However, if that is indeed the case, then I would simply go from being angry with Shakespeare himself to angry at the character he wrote. Or maybe even at his audience."

"That hardly seems rational."

"Anger rarely is, sir."

He gave a slight nod before addressing the entire class, "For those unfamiliar with Shakespeare, it is important to remember that he lived in and wrote about times when women were seen very differently than they are today. You will want to remember that as we read. And Miss Granger," the man in the portrait eyed her again, "Five more points to Slytherin."

Her face was impassive as she nodded, but inside she was beaming.

"For your first assignment, I would like you to pair with someone from the opposite House and turn to any random page in your book. It doesn't matter where. Then I would like you to discuss what you think is happening in the story at that moment. I am very curious to see how you all interpret this particular piece of Muggle literature before actually knowing what it's about."

As everyone began to somewhat reluctantly pair off, Hermione realized that not a single person she could partner with in the entire room would be comfortable with her presence. With each successful grouping of Slytherins and Gryffindors, the tension in the room racketed up another notch. By the time there were only two of them left, she was practically choking on it.

"Do I need to start taking House points for daydreaming, Miss Granger?" The professor's portrait asked.

"No, sir, but I think it would be best for me to—"

"Mr. Weasley, would you please bring your things to the front of the room so you and Miss Granger can begin? We don't have all day, after all."

Ron Weasley shoved his chair back roughly, snatching his things angrily from his desk and shoving them into his bag, "Sorry Professor, I'd rather take a zero for the day than work with Princess Death Eater."

Hermione ground her teeth as he stormed out of the room, employing every trick she had ever been taught to suppress the raw magic that threatened to burst from her clenching fists.

Professor Binns seemed at a loss for words before he cleared his throat noisily, "Right, yes. Ahem. Well everyone, begin."

x-x-x

Thankfully, Ancient Runes went over like a dream compared to Muggle Studies. Not only was it Hermione's favorite subject, but Professor Babbling was much like Professor Vector had been: teach the subject and pretend like there wasn't Death Eater royalty in class. Once again, Hermione had earned House points and answered questions correctly. Even the Hufflepuffs seemed to relax by the time the class was over.

"What a morning," Pansy sighed as she stretched her arms above her head and rolled her neck from side to side. "Whoever said having fewer classes this year would be easier certainly didn't choose our schedule. 36 inches of parchment assigned _already_."

A few Hufflepuffs waved timidly to Hermione as they departed the classroom and she felt her heart lighten a little, "It does seem a tad excessive for the first day, I suppose. Although N.E.W.T.s are rumored to be quite difficult, so—"

"Whatever, I'm just glad we made it to lunch. At least all we have left for the day is Potions then we can relax a little."

"Do Draco and Blaise have their free periods this afternoon as well? We could all work on our N.E.W.T. projects together."

Pansy laughed, "I'm not sure, but I can tell you confidently that those two will definitely _not_ be using their free period for anything constructive. If anything, Blaise will spend it chasing girls around the castle and Draco will be lounging around the Common Room with a ridiculously expensive bottle of Ogden's finest."

Hermione was surprised, "Sev—ah, Professor Snape allows drinking in the Common Room? That seems so unlike him."

"Of course not," she chuckled again. "But that's never stopped any of the boys from getting pissed in the middle of the day anyway."

A long arm wound around's Pansy's shoulders as Blaise materialized from around the corner, "Who's getting pissed now? And why wasn't I invited?"

Draco fell into step next to Hermione, "I believe she meant us, Blaise."

"Hey, if we didn't still have Potions today, I'd say let's ditch lunch and start early."

Pansy rolled her eyes, shaking his arm off and rolling her eyes at Hermione, "Told you."

The boys entered the Great Hall but a small hallway to the left of the large doors caught her eye. She vaguely remembered seeing it on her enchanted map. "Pansy? There is a loo down that hallway, isn't there?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to come with you?"

Hermione thought for a moment, judging the distance between the hall and the large doors as close enough to be safe, "No, I think I'll be alright. I doubt anyone would bother me so close to the Great Hall. Go on to lunch, I'll meet you at the table."

Pansy hesitated for a second before nodding and leaving her alone.

Hermione was already too far from the entrance to see the look of alarm and anger cross her keeper's face.


	4. Episky

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: As always, I don't own Harry Potter, no matter how much I often wish I did. Thanks to the ever amazing J.K. Rowling for such magic.**

* * *

4\. _Episky_

Pleased that she didn't run into any Blibbering Humdingers in this particular toilet, Hermione turned off the taps and used the excess water in a somewhat vain attempt to calm her chaotic chocolate mane. She sighed, leaning against the cool porcelain sink for a moment to gather herself. There really was no use hiding from it; meals in the Great Hall were bound to be uncomfortable for a while and unless she wanted to wait until she returned home to eat, she would simply have to endure the stares and whispers. Certainly it would be better to appear confident and unbothered by their judgments, wouldn't it?

Even so, it was hard. And this was only the first day.

Hermione slung her bag dejectedly over her shoulder and then nearly had an aneurysm upon turning the corner to leave the lavatory.

"Miss Granger," that deep, sinful voice rumbled behind her.

She choked as her bag hit the ground; textbooks, parchment, quills, and inkwells scattering across the stone floor in every direction.

"Damn it!" Hermione's face flushed and she fell to her knees, desperately trying to retrieve everything that had come from her bag. "Must you sneak up on me like that?"

"Care to explain why you are alone in this corridor, Miss Granger?" Severus growled, his voice dangerously low. "I seem to specifically remember instructing you to _never go anywhere alone_. Do you truly need a nanny after all?"

When she looked up at him, Hermione found herself torn. He was… spellbinding, with his eyes alight in anger and his pink, decadent mouth slightly agape with the baring of his teeth. His long, sinewy arms were crossed tightly over the many buttons adorning his coat and his silky raven hair shined beneath the fire lighting the hall. She could feel her abdomen flutter and her skin flush under his piercing gaze. Her brain went curiously blank, able to comprehend nothing but how his chest was heaving beneath the heavy teaching robes he wore. "Severus…"

"Ten points from Slytherin, Miss Granger, for addressing your _professor_ so disrespectfully," he snapped. "And another five for making me deduct points from my own House."

That brought her back to reality. Between her less than stellar morning, confusing reaction to his presence, and lingering anxiety over the overwhelming hatred directed at her from everyone she encountered, Hermione snapped, "My deepest apologies, _sir_. I did not realize I needed an escort to visit the loo as well. Perhaps it would help your peace of mind to attach a permanent Caterwauling charm to me, charmed so you would be immediately notified if I was ever more than three feet from another person? Then you could always berate me accordingly."

His eyes narrowed and she could see a muscle twitch in his jaw, "Do not make light of this, you insolent little girl. I have been charged with protecting your life; do you really intend for me to fail on the first day? Simply because you find it impossible to follow instructions?"

Her hair began to frizz and she could feel the familiar tingle of raw magic in her fingertips as she stood, "I distinctly recall telling you that _I do not need your protection_."

Severus stepped closer, bending to bring himself face to face with her, "You… are… wrong."

She was so angry that the little sparks stinging her skin distracted her from his proximity.

"Do you know why you are wrong?" His voice turned to silk, slipping across her flesh sensuously as he leaned closer. She could smell him, sandalwood and… rosemary? Honey? It made her dizzy. "Do you know why you need me?"

Her raw magic was betraying her now, melting from anger to something much different. Instead of sparks singeing her skin, she now felt like she was standing far too close to a hearth. The feel of Severus' breath caressing the shell of her ear sent delicious shivers down her spine. How was he so oblivious? How could he not just… see? She was fairly certain even her magic was broadcasting it.

"You need me…" Severus whispered, his nose grazing the delicate skin of her lobe.

Hermione exhaled shakily, heart thundering in her chest, "…B-because?"

"Because your emotions distract you," he breathed, the words dripping from his lips like the most decadent caramel, "from that which is right in front of your eyes." Her hands started to tremble and she didn't even realize that he had his wand pressing into her stomach until he sighed the words across her skin like a lover, " _Petrificus… totalus_."

She went rigid as the spell washed over her and her back slammed into the stone floor, the breath _whooshing_ out of her lungs at the hard impact. "You… absolute… bloody… _wanker_." Hermione ground from between her teeth.

Severus smirked as he sheathed his wand, completely unrepentant, "Perhaps someday you may no longer require my protection, Miss Granger, but I believe I have made my point for now. Until you can learn to control your emotions, my wand will be at your back… whether you like it or not. Try not to make it any more difficult than it has to be."

He stepped over her frozen body and began his purposeful strides towards the Great Hall. "Wait…" Hermione gasped at his retreating figure, forcing the words as best she could under the restrictive spell. "Release… me…"

"But then how would you ever learn, Miss Granger?"

"Sev… erus…"

The dark wizard let out a long, overly theatrical sigh as came back to where she lay on the floor. He knelt down next to her, flicking his wand from his sleeve and pointing it at her face, "I believe you have forgotten the magic word, Miss Granger."

She glared at him.

"Ah, ah, ah, I am afraid I cannot release you without it, Miss Granger. If you would…?"

That's it. She was absolutely, without a doubt, going to murder him. Perhaps she would Floo to his chambers while he slept and give him a nice, swift _Avada_? No, too quick. He was a Potions Master, so poison wouldn't do. He clearly had the reflexes of a cat, so sneaking up on him was a waste as well. There had to be some way to catch him with his guard down and whatever it was, she would find it.

Severus crouched even lower, the silky curtain of his hair gently brushing her cheek, "Say please, Miss Granger," he crooned softly, trailing his wand across down her arm. "You disobeyed me today, put yourself at risk in the most foolish way. The least you can do is ask me nicely."

Hermione flushed a deep shade of scarlet. Damn her traitorous body!

He chuckled as her usually golden caramel skin darkened considerably under her blush, "Having trouble… controlling those emotions again, are we?"

"Sev… erus…" Hermione rasped. "Please…"

Severus took a sharp intake of breath, his onyx eyes snapping to hers. It wasn't until then that Hermione realized just how close to her he was; she could feel his quick breaths fanning her cheek. His nostrils were flared and his jaw was clenched but he didn't look angry, he looked…

No, she must be imagining things. That was impossible.

All traces of… flirtatiousness? Teasing? was gone as he gave her a sharp sneer, "When I release this spell, I expect you in the Great Hall for the remainder of lunch. Afterwards, you will come to Potions class and you will be so well behaved, your peers will think you are vying for sainthood. Have I made myself perfectly clear, Miss Granger? I may be your keeper but I will not tolerate such foolishness from you again." When she didn't answer quickly enough, he gripped her chin and snarled. "Answer me, you insufferable little chit!"

What on Earth was wrong with this man? How could he go from angry and protective, to flirtatious and teasing, to impenetrably furious in the span of less than five minutes? Hermione could feel hot, humiliating tears burning behind her eyes but she refused to let them fall. She would _not_ let him see how his shockingly mercurial mood affected her. She absolutely would not give him that power over her. Instead, she returned his gaze as stubbornly as she could from her position on the ground. "Yes… _sir_ …"

They started at each other in silence until, finally, Severus hoisted himself from the floor and took off towards the Great Hall, his teaching robes billowing around his long legs. It wasn't until he reached the end of the hallway that he flicked his wand in her direction, " _Finite Incantatem_."

He never looked back.

x-x-x

Why Hermione had _ever_ thought that Potions would go well after what had happened during lunch, she couldn't say. Perhaps she had hoped that Severus would be able to set aside their personal relationship during class time. Perhaps she had thought that the Gryffindors wouldn't cause her unnecessary trouble in a crowded classroom. Perhaps she had thought the presence of her new Slytherin friends would protect her.

Oh, how wrong she was.

Severus refused to acknowledge Hermione for the entire class, ignoring every raised hand she presented. He wouldn't answer her questions when she was certain her Draught of Living Death looked incorrect and he didn't even look at her when her cauldron inexplicably exploded, coating the Slytherin half of the class in necrotic, festering boils. Instead, he simply vanished the ruined potion and snarled at them all to get to the Hospital Wing, preferably before one of their body parts rotted off onto his floor.

Pansy had tried to soothe her while Madam Pomfrey healed them, reassuring her that no one would be angry since they had all blown up a cauldron or two over the years. Draco and Blaise had chimed in then as well, promising retribution on the three Gryffindors they all knew had tampered with her otherwise perfect potion. And, while she appreciated the sentiment, Hermione knew that there would be no _official_ justice for what had happened in Potions. The headmaster was a renowned Gryffindor after all and though they had never met, Hermione could well imagine where the blame would be placed should she ever try to take it up with him.

x-x-x

Hermione rested on a small stone bench in the courtyard with an obscure Arithmancy text, reveling in the warm September breeze that ruffled her hair. Just as Pansy had said, Blaise was off chasing some freshly-of age Ravenclaw and Draco was somewhere in the Slytherin Common Room, three or four tumblers deep into the latest Ogden's his father sent him. Pansy stretched her legs out on the grass, leaning back against the bench Hermione sat on.

"How are we supposed to focus on such a beautiful day?" She groaned, tossing her Ancient Runes handguide carelessly beside her. "Maybe Blaise and Draco have the right idea."

Hermione grinned into her book, "I hadn't realized that bedding witches and replacing most of your body's fluid content with whiskey were some of your favorite pastimes, Pansy. I certainly hope my presence isn't hindering your pursuits." When there was a stretch of no reply, Hermione closed her book and frowned, kneeling next to her. "Pansy? I was just joking. I certainly wasn't trying to—"

The other girl slumped over, unconscious, onto the grass.

She'd been _stupefied_?

"These non-verbal spells are so much more useful than I ever actually thought they'd be."

Ron Weasley lumbered over to them, his milky white skin almost blinding in the sunlight. He smirked when Hermione's eyes widened. "What's the matter, Princess? Not so cocky without your followers around?"

"And what about you?" Hermione retorted as she hoisted Pansy's limp form onto the bench. "It was my understanding that one-on-one was not quite your style. Deviating from the norm already?"

Weasley leaned closer to her, his ocean blue eyes glinting cockily, "Who says I'm alone?"

A few yards back, Neville Longbottom materialized briefly from the shadows to give her a wicked smile partnered with a two-finger salute.

The ever-present lick of her raw magic began to wind around her fingers, preparing itself, "What do you want?"

His eyes narrowed, "I want to know why you're here; why you're _really_ here."

"You know why. My mother passed away and I was sent to live with—"

 _CRACK!_

Weasley's fist connected with Hermione's jaw so hard, she actually felt her lower lip split over her teeth. Blood pooled in her mouth. "I said I wanted the _real_ reason. Why. Are. You. Here?"

Hermione cradled her face, blue sparks ricocheting where her skin touched. She could feel it, simmering furiously just below the surface, begging to be released. It was so… tempting. _Deep breaths_ , she commanded herself. _You will be expelled if you kill him and Severus will be seriously pissed off_. "Since my answer is apparently not satisfactory, perhaps you should explain why you think I'm here."

"I think your daddy sent you," he said. "I think you're helping him get to Harry."

That genuinely surprised her. Did her classmates really believe that? How ridiculous.

"I think you are trying to infiltrate the Order so you can take us down from the inside."

What in Merlin's name was he on about? The Order? She had never heard of such a thing.

She could feel his hot breath on her cheek, "I think that pretty face is just a ruse so we won't see what the daughter of Voldemort's whore really looks like under—"

Hermione's wand was at his throat, digging violently into his skin as his breath caught, "Give me an excuse, Weasley." She hissed. "Please finish that sentence and give me a reason to hex your foul mouth shut."

" _Expelliarmus_!"

Before her brain could even register what occurred, her wand went flying straight into Neville Longbottom's hands. What had Severus said? That her emotions made her blind to what was right in front of her?

Maybe he wasn't quite so far off after all.

Longbottom gave her a lazy grin, "Sorry about that, Granger. Can't have you hexing us, now can we? You understand."

Weasley's face turned an alarming shade of puce once he realized she was now unarmed. He grabbed her upper arm, holding her in a vice-like grip as he spoke, "Go ahead and keep your little secrets, Granger. But we will be watching you. Those scum who worship you already killed my brother; I won't let them have Harry, too."

The harder he dug his fingers into her arm, the harder it became to keep her magic in check. Hermione had known, from a very young age, that she was frighteningly powerful for a witch of her age and her magic would often manifest itself in times of need or perceived danger. It was almost like another living thing residing within her, always watching and waiting for the moment it was needed. Throughout the years, it had gone from disconcerting to comforting and she often felt as though she subconsciously wound her magic around herself like a suit of armor. Ron Weasley had physically harmed her twice and her magic was roiling with rage. No one, throughout her entire life, had _dared_ to lay a hand on her. Hermione felt her hands begin to shake as her control slipped. She didn't want to kill him, she really didn't. She had never even harmed someone on purpose before, not counting that time in sixth year when she hexed her date's bollocks for getting a little too aggressive with her during the Winter Solstice ball. Blue sparks dripped from her curls and wound themselves around her wand arm. As they inched closer to her palm, where the promise of their imminent release lay, Hermione forced herself to speak before it was too late. "I suggest… you let me go."

"Or what?" He scoffed. "Your little lightening show doesn't scare me."

She flexed her fingers, hissing the words through clenched teeth, "It… _should_."

Clearly the more intelligent of the two, Longbottom tossed Hermione's wand to the ground near her feet and started to back away, "Ron, we should go. _Now_."

Instead, he tightened his grip, "I don't think so."

"What in Godric's name is going on here?" A thick, Scottish brogue sliced through the tension. "Mr. Longbottom? Mr. Weasley?"

Weasley finally let her go as they both turned to the older witch with the pointy hat that Hermione had seen in the Great Hall, "Nothing, Professor McGonagall. We were just talking."

"Just talking," Neville confirmed with ease.

How convenient that they both stood directly in front of her and Pansy so their Professor couldn't see the state they were in.

"This free period is not to be used for frivolous socializing. This time has been allotted for you to work on your N.E.W.T. projects. I suggest you boys get back to the Common Room and make good use of the rest of your day. Otherwise, I may be forced to have Mr. Filch find more productive uses of your time."

"Yes, Professor," they acquiesced before taking off towards the castle.

"And as for you, Miss Granger, I—" It was only then that Professor McGonagall really saw her. Hermione was visibly trembling, the telltale cobalt blue sparks still tumbling haphazardly from her hair and skin onto the grass. She also saw the moment when the Professor noticed the blood on her face and the unconscious girl behind her. "Oh, dear. Miss Granger, can you tell me what happened?"

Hermione only managed a small shake of her head.

"Miss Granger, I can see that you are very angry but I need you to calm yourself so you can tell me what happened."

She felt as though her magic were choking her when she attempted to say something, "S… Sev…."

Thankfully, Professor McGonagall seemed to understand. She quickly conjured a silver cat patronus, "Courtyard, Severus. Quickly."

Not two minutes after the patronus scampered away did her keeper arrive in his usual flurry of robes.

When he noticed the state Hermione was in and the unconscious Pansy behind, Severus rounded on his colleague, "What the _fuck_ happened here, Minerva? Who did this?"

"When I arrived, Mr. Longbottom and Mr. Weasley were here as well. They assured me they were only talking but I—"

"Talking? _Talking_? Please tell me you were not naïve enough to believe that two members of the Golden Trio would simply be having a casual conversation with Tom Riddle's only daughter! Look at her fucking face, Minerva!"

"I assure you, Severus, I did not see Miss Granger or Miss Parkinson until both of the boys had left. I believe that Miss Parkinson has simply been _stupefied_ but Miss Granger…"

If Hermione hadn't been so vehemently trying to prevent her magic from destroying the castle, she might have noticed the desperate look on Severus' face as he whispered, "Do you have any idea what the consequences would be if something were to happen to this girl?! He's entrusted me with her care and I assure you, he was not shy about detailing exactly what would happen should she be harmed."

This seemed to mollify the older woman as a somber look overtook her weathered features, "You are absolutely right, Severus. There is no excuse for this. Those boys will be dealt with."

He did not seem convinced, "Just get Miss Parkinson to Madam Pomfrey and _R_ _ennervate_ her. I'll deal with Miss Granger." Severus stepped closer to her, his hands up, palms forward, "Miss Granger? Can you hear me?"

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut tightly, the last vestiges of her self-control threatening to give way, "S… Sever… us…"

"I'm going to touch you, Miss Granger. Is that alright?" He was doing his best to placate her, his voice soothing and hypnotic. "I need to Apparate you back to my office, but in order to do that I must grab on to you. I will be as gentle as I can. Do you understand?"

She managed a tiny nod. Gods, she would agree to anything to make her magic recede.

Hermione felt the air stir as he came closer and was immediately assaulted with his unique scent. Her magic thrummed into her abdomen and she let out an involuntary whimper.

"Are you in pain?" He asked softly, misinterpreting the sound.

"P… please…" She gasped.

Still as if dealing with a wild animal bent on attacking, Severus gently took her non-wand hand into his and Apparated them away.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm aware that in cannon, no one except Dumbledore can Apparate within Hogwarts, but being Hermione's keeper has special privileges! :)**


	5. Crucio

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: As usual, J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all the wonderful things that come with it.**

* * *

5\. _Crucio_

 _Blood. Bruises. Torn flesh._

 _Misdirected anger. Undeserved hatred. Irrevocable suspicion._

 _Frustration. Sadness. Fear._

 _Kill them for hurting you. Kill them for daring to spill even a drop of your blood. Teach them a lesson they won't soon forget._

 _No… no… won't be like Tom. Never like Tom._

 _Resist. Resist. Resist._

"Miss Granger, I need you to breathe for me. Slowly."

 _Sandalwood. Rosemary. Honey._

 _Fathomless black eyes. Alabaster skin. Ravens-wing hair._

 _Annoyance. Confusion. Desire._

 _Kiss him just to see what he tastes like. Hex him for allowing them to hurt you. Run as fast and as far as you possibly can from this man._

 _No… wrong. All wrong._

There was a slight brush of fingertips across her cheek and her eyes snapped open.

 _Destroy. Want. Punish. Need. Protect._

Severus' eyes widened and he immediately began warding his office with intricate waves of his wand. "Just breathe, Miss Granger. In and out. As slowly as you can manage."

 _Sandalwood. Honey. Rosemary._

 _Parchment. Ink. Ancient books._

 _Damp stone. Lake water. Leather._

… _More potent than all the Amortentia in the known world._

She gripped her hair and whimpered again, "M… m… make it… s… stop."

Cobalt blue sparks whipped around her, dancing across her skin to silent beat. When he stepped closer to her, the sparks reached towards him in tendrils, trying to coil around his wrists. "I knew you must be powerful but… I never fathomed such…" When he noticed she was visibly trembling again, Severus immediately redirected his attention. "Miss Granger, your raw magic is clouding your mind, yes?"

She managed a tight nod.

"You need to let it out or it will only worsen. Have you ever had to let it take control before? Do you know how?"

A small shake of her head.

"Your magic is trying to protect you, Miss Granger. And by actively resisting, you have made it quite angry. When you let it out, I am fairly certain that it will try to destroy everything it touches. I have warded and silenced the room as well as cast a _Protego Totalum_ around myself just in case. Now, I need you to just let go."

Hermione let her shaking arms fall to her sides and tried to release the tight reign of internal control she held on her magic. Nothing happened.

"Look at me," his voice was soothing and soft. When their eyes met, she felt her magic both resist and surrender; actively trying to run from him and seek him out at the same time. In a pacifying tone, he continued. "You are safe here, Miss Granger. Anything broken can be repaired. My charm is strong enough that you will not harm me and your magic would never harm you. I understand your constant desire for control, but right now I need you to simply let go."

 _Not enough. Need more. More. More. More. More._

The sparks surged into her wand hand, sliding back and forth across her palm. But still, nothing happened.

Severus came closer, "What more do you need? Your thoughts are practically screaming at me now, Miss Granger. Tell me how to help you."

 _Need… need…_

 _Severus._

Three things happened simultaneously- Hermione lunged forward, yanking him down to her height and crashing her lips against his; Severus' face froze, eyes wide in shock; and the raw magic within her exploded outwards, reducing everything in the office to splinters.

She collapsed.

x-x-x

"How did this happen?"

Hermione frowned. She had been quite comfortable in the warm cocoon of unconsciousness and the sudden arrival of voices interrupting her lovely rest was most unwelcome. Especially since with those voices, came a stampede of hippogriffs at the base of her skull. She wished they would all just leave her in peace.

"My Lord, it seems that the Weasley boy was dissatisfied with your daughter's arrival at Hogwarts and took it upon himself to discover her true intentions through physical force."

"And as the one charged with protecting her, why did you not curse him for his disrespect? Or rather, why did you not allow her to curse him herself? Surely you, my Master Spy, could have woven an appropriate excuse for the Headmaster."

There was a slight throat-clearing, "I was not there, my Lord. I had a class. And she did not curse them herself because she had been disarmed by Potter's other friend, Longbottom."

"Severus, Severus, Severus. You are my most trusted advisor, my most loyal follower. As a reward for your years of faithful service, I bestowed upon you the honor of safeguarding my only child until it is time for her to fulfill her true purpose. After presenting you with such a coveted gift, you repay me by bringing my daughter back broken, bloodied, and magically depleted. All of this on the very first day. Now tell me, Severus, what kind of punishment does such a severe failure warrant?"

"Whatever punishment you deem fit, my Lord. I have failed you both most egregiously."

"You most certainly have. I expect you understand that you are to remain silent, Severus."

"Yes, my Lord."

" _Crucio!_ "

Hermione felt nausea and panic as she could only hear strained gasps and loud, heavy _thuds_ repeatedly slamming into the floor. Severus was being tortured only a few feet away from her and she was stuck in her half-conscious, weakened state, unable to do anything to help.

"It does not matter to me what other _obligations_ you think you have, Severus. I am your Lord and Master. You answer to me. And if you ever bring her back injured again, the _Cruciatus_ will seem tame compared to what I will do to you. While you may have been my first choice, there are others within the Inner Circle that I would trust as her keeper as well. Do not overestimate your usefulness or it may very well be the last thing you ever do. Do you understand me?"

His voice was strained and cracked, "Yes, my Lord. It will not happen again."

"See that it does not. _Incarcerous_. _Crucio! Crucio! CRUCIO!_ "

There were a few more moments of louder, more concentrated _thuds_ on the floor before, finally, the noises stopped and she heard Tom's sharp footsteps recede down the central staircase.

Hermione could feel her exhausted body wanting to slip back into unconsciousness even as she fought it with all her remaining strength. She managed to crack her eyes slightly open, revealing that she was lying in her bed and the horrific sounds of Severus' silent, bound torture had come from the hall just outside of her closed bedroom door. Her father's cruelty was well known, even to her at this point, but she had no intention of leaving Severus to suffer.

"Filly?" Hermione whispered, desperately hoping the house-elf would be able to Apparate quietly.

Much to her relief, the elf _popped_ silently into existence next to the bed, "What can Filly be doing for Miss? Is Miss in pain?"

"No, Filly I'm fine. But I am worried about Severus. My father hurt him very badly but I'm too weak to stand. Would you be willing to help him for me?"

The little house-elf twisted her hands anxiously, "Filly is not to interfere with Master Tom's punishments, Miss."

Hermione thought for a moment, trying to decide how to convince the elf to help her, "Filly, Tom is your Master, right?"

She nodded quickly, "Yes, Miss. Filly is most honored to serve the House of Riddle."

"And since Tom is not married, that makes me your Mistress, yes?"

"Yes, Miss. To be proper, Filly _should_ address Miss as Mistress but Miss didn't like it."

"So if I am your Mistress, then that means you can obey me without being punished, right?"

Filly furrowed her brow in thought, "…Yes, Miss. Filly thinks so."

"Then please, _please_ Filly," Hermione clasped the little elf's bony hand. "Please go and help Severus. Free him from his bonds and heal him as best you can. Apparate him back to Hogwarts if you must- Madame Pomfrey will know how to help him if you cannot. Can you do this for me, Filly?"

The elf smiled warmly, her little face lighting up, "Yes, Miss! Filly will help. Does Miss always want Filly to help Master Snape from now on?"

"Thank you, Filly. I—wait, from now on?" She glanced towards the door. "Filly, how often is Severus hurt like this?"

Her face grew somber, "Very often, Miss. Master Tom punishes someone almost every day. Master Snape is Master Tom's favorite- Master Tom hurts him the most."

Hermione felt bile rise in her throat and tears prick her aching eyes, "Yes, Filly. From now on I would like you to tend to him each time he is injured, even if he tries to send you away."

"Filly understands, Miss. Here," she handed Hermione a small potion vial. "Please take the medicine Master Snape left for Miss. Filly will go help when the potion is gone."

She drank it in one swallow.

Hermione forced herself to remain conscious while Filly scurried to the door, only slipping back into oblivion when she heard the creaking of the hinges. Her last coherent thought before drifting back into the warm, comforting embrace of unconsciousness was that a decision had been made for her today.

She would do whatever necessary to escape from undoubtedly horrific 'purpose' Tom had so elaborately crafted for her.

Whatever necessary.

x-x-x

Severus had not sought her out after she had awoken that next morning. In fact, other than in Potions and infrequently at meals, Hermione did not see Severus at all. He did not seek her out at home, did not come to check on her through the Floo. He did not corner her in the halls on the rare occasions that she managed to sneak out to lavatory alone.

It was as though she no longer existed.

Hermione tried very hard not to let it hurt.

Over the next weeks, classes continued as she initially expected they would; the Ravenclaws in Arithmancy were thawing towards her, the Gryffindors in Muggle Studies still ignored her, the Hufflepuffs in Ancient Runes began to warm up to her, and the Gryffindors in Potions always tried to sabotage her. Pansy, Draco, and Blaise never let her go anywhere without at least two of them present now, save for the loo if it was close enough.

Hermione had learned to stay silent in Potions. After the incident with her father, Severus remained entirely professional and utterly detached. She had thought, perhaps, by sending Filly to tend to his wounds, that Severus would warm to her a little. That perhaps he would consider being her friend, as well as her keeper.

Then again, maybe it wasn't Tom that had caused his detachment.

When she had first awoken from what she learned to be a potion-induced sleep, Hermione could not remember anything that happened after Professor McGonagall had appeared in the courtyard- save for the horrifying sounds of torture and her conversation with Filly. She had tried to come to Severus' office during her lunch or free period to discuss what it was that she couldn't remember, but he was never there. Almost like he was hiding from her. Like he always knew when she was coming. It had taken a few days before the memories started coming back to her until one evening, she remembered it all. That was when she realized the severity of what she had done.

Hermione had kissed Severus. She had kissed him, a man twice her age that she hardly knew, while under the drugging influence of her raw magic, and subsequently destroyed his entire office and everything in it.

No wonder he didn't want to speak to her.

One Wednesday afternoon in mid-October, Hermione had come home early, intent on spending the rest of the day with a book and a cup of Filly's perfect tea on the couch in her favorite sitting room. When she stepped out of the Floo in the main hall, however, her face crashed directly into the thick wool adorning her keeper's chest.

"Excuse me," he said gruffly, pushing past her to reach for the Floo powder.

"Wait," Hermione grabbed his wrist to stay his hand. "Please, stay for a moment and have tea with me. I haven't had a chance to speak with you recently."

Severus inclined his head slightly, his expression indiscernible, "As you wish, Miss Granger."

Once they were in the sitting room with their respective cups of tea, Hermione cleared her throat, "It seems I owe you an apology, Severus."

"Whatever for?" He asked, his voice utterly disinterested and monotone as he sipped his tea.

"I…" She felt the heat rush into her cheeks. "I allowed my magic to—"

"Stop," Severus snapped, his eyes tight. "There is no need to discuss that."

"Of course there is. We never discussed it at all."

"There is nothing _to_ discuss."

Her embarrassment was giving way to anger and she set her teacup down harder than strictly necessary, "I beg to differ, Severus. You have been avoiding me for the past 5 weeks and I assume it's because you're angry with me. So I want to apologize for what I did."

His cup clattered against the china plate as he thrust it onto the table next to his armchair, "I do not want your apologies."

"Then why won't you speak to me? Why are you avoiding me as if being in the same room with me will cause you to catch the plague?"

"Why does my presence matter, Miss Granger?" His tone was acerbic and dark. "I am your keeper; my job is to ensure that you are unharmed. Other than that, I am allowed to continue on with my life as if you had never interfered with it."

"Interfered?" She scoffed. "If you remember, I never requested your presence in my life in the first place!"

"Then why does it matter if we speak or not?" He growled, shoving himself to his feet in frustration. "It would seem that I am as much a burden to you as you are to me."

"A burden? A _burden_?" She was shouting now, her face red with fury. "How am I possibly a burden to you? We haven't spoken in 5 weeks and have not even been in the same room other than for Potions and meals. How can I _possibly_ be a burden to you?!"

"Your very existence is a burden! The very fact that you exist and I must protect you are like chains that bind me!"

She felt as though he had slapped her, "I…"

Severus was pacing now, running his hands through his hair, "I cannot believe I ever let Lucius talk me into this nonsense."

Her voice was small, "Is it because I kissed you?"

He froze mid-step, whipping his head to glare at her as he snarled, " _Yes_."

Now it felt like she had been punched in the abdomen. So that _was_ it. "I am so sorry, Severus. I shouldn't have—"

"No, you absolutely should _not_ have! I am your keeper, your professor, and _twice your age_ ," he spat venomously. "Let us ignore that fact that you do not actually _know_ me. Let us ignore the fact that we would not have any type of relationship at all if it were not for my association with your father. Let us simply look at the other facts." He stalked toward her, his eyes blazing. "You are not even remotely my type. Your hair, your skin, your eyes- all wrong. Everything about you is the opposite of anything I would ever want. So do not waste your ridiculous schoolgirl fantasies on me, Miss Granger. I assure you, you will be _nothing_ but disappointed."

Every word was like a knife to her heart. While he may not have spoken to her since that first day at Hogwarts, she had still been in his class and observed him nearly every day. From his spiky handwriting to his sinful voice to his brusque mannerisms to his unique looks, she found that she couldn't stop thinking of him. Physical chemistry aside, Hermione had begun to actually like him. More often than not, she had found herself wishing for his presence, even if he refused to speak, in the perpetually empty house and wondering what he did when he was not teaching Potions. She wondered about his hobbies and his interests. She wondered about his past. She wondered what it would be like to really know him, even if only as a friend.

Schoolgirl fantasies, indeed.

"Why did you come here?" Hermione managed after far too long a silence.

He seemed a little surprised at her question but decided to answer nonetheless, "Checking the wards."

As his harsh words began to really sink in, Hermione felt the tears behind her eyes, "You should leave."

Severus cleared his throat, slightly abashed, "Perhaps I allowed my temper to get the better of me. Forgive me, I—"

She ground her teeth, frustrated that she had allowed this man that she realistically knew nothing about to hurt her and fed up with his mercurial mood changes. Her fist tightened as she kept her gaze defiant gaze on him, "You have made yourself perfectly clear, sir. Now I would appreciate it if you would leave my home."

"Miss Granger, I truly didn't mean to…"

"Filly!" She called, her voice wavering slightly. The little house elf _popped_ into the sitting room and bowed to her Mistress. "Please see that Master Snape makes it safely back to Hogwarts. I will be upstairs if you need me."

She didn't see the sad look on Filly's face as she escorted him to the closest Floo, didn't see him run his hand through his hair in frustration as he watched her leave the room with her head held high.

She certainly didn't hear his muttered, "Fuck," as he disappeared in a whirl of emerald green flames.

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: That was rough and I'm sorry. Kinda. But not really.**


	6. Dissendium

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Like I always say, I do not own Harry Potter or anything from it's wonderful universe. That belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

 ***I love the smell of lemons in the morning.***

* * *

6\. _Dissendium_

 _The room was dark except for a single green candle burning on the bedside table, wax dripping lazily onto the aged wood. Hermione's fists gripped the slick black satin sheets as she threw her head back into the pillow._

 _"Severus!"_

 _He was bracing himself on his forearms above her, sweat trickling down from his temple to the column of his slender neck. Hermione gasped as her heart hammered thunderously in her chest. Her bronzed skin gleamed in the candlelight and her perpetually wild hair was tangled and fanned out across the pillow. She wrapped her legs around his waist and grabbed fistfuls of his damp hair._

 _"Hermione…" He managed, slowing the rhythm of his hips to garner her attention. "Hermione, look at me."_

 _It most definitely should have been illegal for him to say her name that way. Her eyes opened slowly, "Don't… stop…" She begged between hitched breaths. "Please."_

 _Severus pressed his forehead against hers and stopped moving for a moment, causing Hermione to groan in displeasure. His voice was husky as he spoke, "Hermione, listen to me. I do not know how this will all end, but…" He caressed her cheek reverently. "…know that I will do whatever I must to protect you. There is nothing more important than you now."_

 _Cinnamon eyes shimmering with tears, she kissed him deeply, pulling him against her body desperately like she was afraid he would disappear. When they finally broke apart, Hermione met Severus' liquid onyx eyes with steely determination, "Come what may; we will face it together."_

 _A gentle smile spread across his lips and he buried his face into the crook of her neck, "Yes. Always together."_

 _When he started to move his hips again, Hermione gasped sharply and gripped his shoulders._ _With Severus' face at her neck, she turned to his ear and breathed, "_ _Always_ _."_

 _She could feel Severus press his lips to her neck softly, "So beautiful… mine… my Hermione…"_

 _Her heart swelled so much at that moment that she felt sure it would burst. Never in her life had she imagined love could feel this way. She had wanted Severus desperately from the moment she saw him, but never once did she envision it like this._

 _For the first time, she was utterly thrilled to have been so wrong._

 _He pushed himself up from her neck as his hips picked up speed, snapping fiercely against her. Harder and faster he went, his eyes slipping shut in sheer pleasure as he drove into her. She moaned louder, clawing at his back with her fingernails and biting down hard enough on her lower lip to draw blood._

 _"Severus… oh, Gods!" Hermione cried, thrusting her hips up in a desperate attempt to meet his rapid pace. Her grip on his thin, broad shoulders tightened, bronze against alabaster. He had almost done it, she was almost there- at that most wonderful place that she had only ever experienced with him. So close, so very close. "Please…_ _please,_ _my love…"_

 _He slammed his hips into hers even harder, unable to suppress his own groans any longer, "Hermione… Hermione… Hermione…"_

x-x-x

The moment she realized she was no longer asleep, Hermione let out a long groan of frustration. Of _course_ she would awaken right when she was about to—

"Hermione… Hermione… Hermione…"

No, no it couldn't be; it was only a dream! She pushed herself up and frantically ran her hands along her body to ensure she was, indeed, in her nightclothes. After also confirming that she was alone in her bed as she should be, Hermione fell back against her pillow and sighed. There really was no denying that he had been a complete arsehole to her earlier, but the dream really had been rather lovely. She huffed in annoyance at that. Why did it seem like her dreams refused to meld with reality? Merlin, have mercy; she was hopeless and her hormones were ridiculous.

"Hermione… Hermione…"

So it wasn't her imagination after all. It took her a moment to realize that the sound of her name was actually coming from the green swirling flames in the Floo across the room. But, surely that could not be. The only person who had access to her Floo was…

She shoved her head rather unceremoniously through the flames, still too upset with him to register that he used her first name, "What do you want? It's the middle of the night, you know."

Hermione could see Severus in what she assumed to be his sitting room, swaying slightly in front of a large brown leather couch. His hair was disheveled and his robes were slightly askew, left hand clenching an empty crystal tumbler, "Need to talk to you," he slurred. "Can I come through?"

Merlin Almighty, he was pissed. She ground her teeth, "You're drunk."

"N…" _Hiccup!_ "No… not entirely. F…" _Hiccup!_ "Firewhiskey simply makes G…" _Hiccup!_ "Gryffindors of us all."

Gods save her from the stupidity of men. Hermione weighed her options for a moment; she really was still absolutely furious with him and, if she were to be honest, hurt by what he had said as well. She wasn't certain she wanted to speak with him at all in the near future. "I am not quite sure if I'm ready to—"

"Please," his glassy eyes were beseeching and sincere. "Let me e…" _Hiccup!_ "Explain."

Hermione sighed in defeat, "Fine. Bring a Sober-Up Potion and you can come through."

When he came stumbling through the fireplace, Hermione was waiting for him, cross-legged, at the end of her bed. The moment Severus was cleared of the hearth, he tumbled rather unceremoniously into the squashy black chair nearby.

She inclined her head towards the small red potion in his hand, "Drink."

He took a tiny sip, no more than a thimbleful.

"Are you really going to tell me that such a small amount is enough to sober you? You smell like the bottom of a whiskey bottle."

He shook his head rather slowly, probably to avoid the room spinning, "Just wanted enough to speak clearly. Cannot be too sober for this." The hiccups had indeed subsided but his eyes were still glassy and he was still slurring some of his words together.

That certainly hadn't been the response she was expecting, "Alright then. What is it you want to say?"

Severus didn't speak for much longer than socially appropriate. For a while he simply stared at his legs, frowning. At least ten minutes of uncomfortable silence passed before he finally looked up at her. "I lied."

Her palms began to sweat. She didn't know what to say.

He blushed, "You are not… you are… there is nothing wrong with the way you look."

Hermione remained frozen in place, afraid that the smallest movement would frighten him from his drunken confession.

"I let my temper..." He stopped to run his hands over his face. "I should not have said those things to you. They were cruel and… untrue." When she still didn't reply, Severus looked up again. "Please say something."

Her voice was quiet, "What would you have me say, Severus?"

He rested his forearms on his thighs, "Something. _Anything_. Scream at me if you must. Just _say something_."

"I will not sit here and wrap you in platitudes to ease your conscience. I will not tell you that it's alright and that we should just forget it. It is most certainly _not_ alright and I doubt I will ever forget the things you said."

"I know," he sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fucking Hell. I was so angry that I wasn't… You did not deserve that. I was not even angry with _you_ , simply the situation. I should not have taken it out on you like I did. My temper tends to make me rather… impulsive with my words."

Hermione chewed her lip for a moment as she debated asking the question that had been on her mind all night. Severus, though still rather drunk, was at least being honest. She supposed she owed him the same courtesy. "There's something I want to ask you."

He simply gestured for her to continue.

"Assuming you are being truthful and that you did lie about those things… then why?"

Severus tossed the almost full vial into the fire and refused to look at her now, "If you ever repeat the words I am about to say, I will _Obliviate_ you in your sleep. If you even mention this again, you will come to regret it. Am I clear?"

She had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes. How could he possibly expect his words to carry the same weight when they were all sloshed together by whiskey? "Of course, Severus."

He leaned forward, letting his hair obscure his face, "I have been kissed only once before. She was… she is…" There was a pause. "It does not matter. The point is, it was only once but it was enough. I never intended to allow another person to do so."

It was like the sitting room all over again. The tiny spark of hope he kindled by simply talking to her, opening up to her, was threatening to be crushed beneath the weight of this other woman's kiss. "You wanted her to be the only one to ever do that."

"Yes."

It was silent again.

"I am very sorry Severus," she finally whispered.

When he looked up, he was clearly surprised, "I did not come for an apology, Hermione."

There it was, her first name in that unholy voice again. Damn him. "You deserve one. I shouldn't have taken that from you."

Severus seemed pensive as he watched her fiddle anxiously with a loose thread on her coverlet. It was a long time before his soft, drunken words filled the room again, "Perhaps it was time for me to let it go."

She could not hide the shock on her face.

"You should know…" Spots of pink bloomed high on his cheeks. "You are not a burden to me and you presence in my life has not been… wholly unpleasant. I would very much like if it we could start over. It would seem as though your father intends for me to be at your back indefinitely. We should try to make it as comfortable as possible."

Hermione couldn't suppress her smile, warmth spreading in her chest at all the possibilities now before them, "I would like that very much, Severus. Perhaps in the evenings, if you have no detentions of course, you could spend some time here with me? We could get to know each other that way."

His glossy obsidian eyes widened minutely before he cleared his throat, "I believe that would be acceptable, yes."

She slid off the bed and padded over to where he sat until she stood before him, "I can forgive you for the things you said, Severus, but… please try to remember that I'm a person, too. Alright?"

Those bottomless eyes softened and he nodded.

"Friends?" Hermione held out her hand as the final peace offering.

"Friends," he acquiesced, his long, slender fingers sliding across her palm to take her hand.

She shivered.

Oh, boy.

x-x-x

The very next night, true to his word, Severus came through the Floo in the sitting room at precisely seven thirty. He quickly learned that the couch was Hermione's territory so he claimed the armchair he frequented across from her. The first night of their new arrangement was terribly awkward as Severus was still embarrassed about his drunken confession the previous evening so they simply read their respective books in silence until he departed for Hogwarts nearly three hours later. Even after his departure, Hermione could not help but smile to herself. He was, without a doubt, the most private, closed-off man she had ever encountered but they were making progress. It was slow progress to be sure, but it was better than where they had been before.

Over the following two weeks, they continued with their new nightly ritual in the sitting room. Even after he had detentions or rounds at the school, Severus would often come to see her even if just for an hour or so. Occasionally things would become inexplicably awkward and they would revert back to reading in silence, but more often than not Hermione found herself immersed deep in conversations with him. Sometimes the discussed themselves, other times they debated the most recent Potions journals or the advanced Arithmancy equations Hermione was attempting to create for her N.E.W.T. project. There were still several equations she was trying to choose from and he was often helpful in pointing out their flaws.

"Bloody buggering fucking Hell," she snapped one evening, tossing her quill onto the low coffee table in frustration.

Severus lowered his book, quirking a single elegant eyebrow in amusement, "Such language, Miss Granger. And from a lady, no less."

"Sorry," Hermione sighed, rubbing her temples. "I just don't understand why this equation refuses to work. I have rewritten it from every angle. No matter what I do, it will not shift the way it's meant to!"

He knelt in front the table across from her and reached for the parchment, "May I?"

She shoved it towards him, "Be my guest. It's all rubbish apparently anyway."

"Hmm…" His eyebrows rose higher and higher the further down the page he went. When he reached the bottom, Severus looked up in shock. "What is this? This is not what you were working on before."

Hermione shrugged, "I decided to change directions at the last minute."

"Miss Granger… _Hermione_ ," his voice lowered to the sensuous whisper that plagued her dreams most evenings. That whisper paired with him using her first name was doing ridiculous things to her brain. "Do you have any idea what you have created here?"

"What does it matter?" She frowned, pushing the ever-present surge of desire for him to the back of her mind. "It doesn't work. Apparently my Potions knowledge is not as advanced as I initially thought."

Severus cast a wandless _Muffliato_ around them before continuing, "I assure you, Miss Granger, this equation _will_ work when the ingredients are prepared and combined properly. What were you intending to create? What did you want this potion to do?"

"Well… I had hoped to create a potion that would lessen the effects of Dark Magic on the body. Something to make the _Cruciatus_ less painful or the _Imperio_ easier to resist. Why? Did I get it right? Will it work that way?"

He shook his head, his eyes brighter than she'd ever seen them, "No, Miss Granger. You created something else entirely. You have created a way to rid the body of all Dark Magic it has ever come in contact with."

It took a few moments before it hit her. Of _course_. If she had created what he said she did, it was no wonder he had reacted so strongly. She remembered the conversation they'd had a few days after his apology. It had been a particular rough day at Hogwarts, followed by a long meeting with Tom and the other Death Eaters. By the time he had arrived at the empty house, Severus was slightly tipsy, though not nearly as drunk as he had been before, but enough that it loosened his tongue significantly. After warding the sitting room and casting the strongest silencing charm he could muster around the two of them, Severus told her that he did not want to hide things from her anymore. That night he had admitted many things. He had told her about his abusive parents and his time being tormented by those he called 'The Marauders'. He had told her that there had been a girl he fancied, she was the one who had kissed him once, but the feelings he held for her were never returned. He had told her that he had joined the Death Eaters in order to feel like he belonged somewhere, like he was valued for his skills and intelligence. He also admitted that it had been the biggest mistake of his life, one that he regretted every single day until he met her.

When Severus had finished speaking that night, his entire body seemed to sag, like he was curling in on himself, waiting for something to strike him. It wasn't until Hermione wrapped her arms around him in a fierce embrace that he let out the breath he'd been holding. And it was not until he tentatively wound his arms around her in return that she realized he had been waiting for her to judge him for the things he confessed.

But she did not, _would not_ judge him. He was far too complex for something like that.

They had not spoken of such deep, personal things again but once had been plenty.

Hermione stretched her hand across the table until her fingertips rested lightly on Severus' left forearm.

They stared at each other in the charged silence.

x-x-x

On Halloween, Hermione had just barely managed to escape Pansy, Draco and Blaise so she could slip into Severus' office and Floo home. They had tried every trick in the book to get Hermione to stay for the Halloween party that would be held that night in the Slytherin Common Room, assuring her that there would be plenty of alcohol and Longbottom's illegal weed to go around provided that she dressed in something she wouldn't even qualify as lingerie, let alone a costume. Pansy had even cornered her in the dungeons after Potions in order to beg her to stay, but in her most patient tone, Hermione simply explained that she would rather be at home reading than getting felt up by some randy teenage boys in a smoke-filled, alcohol-laden Common Room. Pansy had not been pleased.

Finally fed up, Hermione had said, "By all means, take it up with my father then. I'm sure he will be most accommodating of my social life. He is, after all, only the one who confined me to the house in the first place."

That had shut the other girl up for the rest of the day.

Hermione was sitting on her favorite couch with a cup of tea and her worn copy of _Wuthering Heights_ when Severus came bursting, wild eyed, through the double doors rather than the Floo. That typically meant he was coming from a meeting with her father. She was just setting down her book to greet him when he snatched her arm and dragged her from the room, up the central staircase.

Something was very wrong.

"Severus," Hermione panted as he pulled her along the ridiculously tall, opulent stairs. "Severus, what on Earth is the matter?"

"No time," his tone was short and he clearly was out of breath.

When he shoved her into her bedroom and slammed the door behind him, Hermione could feel heart pulse quicken with fear. The look on his face as he turned to her was unlike anything she had ever seen on him before. He was… frightened.

"Severus, you are scaring the living Hell out of me. What's wrong?"

"Do you have an evening gown?"

"What? Why?"

Severus clutched his left forearm and hissed in pain, " _Fuck_. Quickly, Miss Granger. The nicest gown you have. Transfigure something if you must, but for the love of fucking Merlin, _hurry_."

She rushed to her wardrobe and grabbed the only item that would fit his request- a floor-length lilac gown with a plunging sweetheart neckline and a back so low you could almost see her arse. Hermione held the dress hesitantly; she had never worn it before and only bought it on a whim with her mother over the summer. In fact, she wasn't even sure she had ever actually intended to wear the thing. It was awfully skimpy but her mum had insisted that every woman needed at least one dress like that so she bought it. "Will this work?"

He hardly glanced at the dress before he gasped in pain again, "Charm it black, pin up your hair, and let's _fucking go_."

Hermione was emerging from the bathroom less than three minutes later- the beauty of magic.

He was already opening the door to her room but when he caught sight of her, Severus stopped dead and his mouth fell open a little. "You look…" But whatever he was going to say was interrupted yet again by him clutching his forearm and another string of colorful obscenities.

"You're being summoned, aren't you?" She had never witnessed it happen before, was it always so painful?

"No, Miss Granger," Severus ground through his gritted teeth. " _We_ are being summoned. We have to go. _Now_."

Hermione followed Severus down the staircase, transfiguring her house slippers into a pair of dangerously tall heels. She still was not as tall as him, but she was closer now. "Severus, for the love of all that is Holy, please tell me what's going on."

It wasn't until they had broken through the wards around the grounds and stepped onto the moonlit sidewalk that he answered her, his eyes hard, "I am to bring you to your very first Revel."


	7. Epoximise

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Only J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter universe and all that comes from it. The rest of us are only playing with it.**

* * *

7. _Epoximise_

Her stomach was roiling and her palms were damp. Considering the rapid pace of her heart, she was also fairly certain that she was only moments away from cardiac arrest. The Side-Along Apparition to Malfoy Manor had been seamless, but it didn't matter. The night was cool and clear, long-dead stars twinkling serenely above them, but that didn't matter either. Severus' arm was warm beneath her hand, but it brought no comfort now. As they approached the ornate wrought-iron gates surrounding the Manor, Hermione felt as though she were walking to the executioner's block.

It had finally come to this.

She had been so naïve. She had actually started to feel comfortable in Tom's house, at ease with her Hogwarts classes and arrangement with Severus in the evenings. She had begun to feel somewhat normal again. Sometimes, it was even easy to forget that her father was a murderous, rampaging psychopath hell-bent on conquering the world as they knew it. After all, she hardly ever saw him and they had not spoken since the day he brought her to his home.

How _naïve_.

Of course she wasn't normal. Of course her life would never be so simple ever again. How could she have been so blind these past weeks? How could she have so easily brushed it all aside?

 _Easy. You wanted to forget. You wanted to simply be._

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Hermione was aware that Severus was speaking to her. What was he saying? It was so difficult to focus through the panic. She was only catching bits and pieces of his words.

"…must not show any weakness… do not want to accept you… dangerous… respect above all else… obey his every command… do not fear… will not let anyone harm you…"

His words didn't matter. His promises didn't matter. This was it. This was what she had feared. Tom wanted to indoctrinate her. There was no escape from this.

She was trapped. Imprisoned. Confined.

She couldn't breathe.

Severus stopped just before the gates, the shimmer of the wards just beyond where they stood. He turned and gripped her shoulders tightly, lowering his face to hers, "Miss Granger, breathe before you pass out. Look at me. _Look at me, damn it!_ "

Hermione barely managed to raise her head. Her breaths were still coming too hard and fast- blue sparks began manifesting wildly from her skin. Even her magic was panicking now.

"Shite!" He hissed, yanking his hands back from her shoulders. Her magic must have burned him. "Gods damn it all girl, I need you to get a grip on yourself! I will be of no use to you if you have a meltdown before we even enter!"

She shut her eyes for a moment and dug deep within herself to find any semblance of calm. Her frightened magic was clouding her mind and she knew if she didn't snap out of it, it would be unlikely for either of them to survive the evening. That very thought sobered her. She did not want to do anything to jeopardize Severus' life.

When Hermione opened her eyes again, she felt much more in control, though her voice was still shaky, "Tell me how we survive this, Severus."

"This evening will not be pleasant," he admitted somewhat hesitantly. "I assume he is testing us, to ascertain if my presence has been beneficial to you. He enjoys grandeur and drama, so it would be wise to anticipate him requiring your… participation."

"What kind of participation?"

Severus' expression was angry, "Torture for certain, perhaps murder if he feels so inclined."

The panic was resurfacing, "No… no… Merlin, no…"

"Miss Granger," he tilted her chin so she was looking up at him, "if you think I would actually allow you to do such things, you are sorely mistaken. What have I told you from the day we met? I will _not_ let anyone or anything harm you. Should your involvement be commanded, I will handle it in whatever manner necessary. You have my word."

The subtle meaning behind his words squeezed her chest like a vice, "If you defy him, he'll torture you again."

"Yes."

Hermione gripped the lapels on his elegant black dress robes in fear, "What do you mean, 'yes'?! He could kill you!"

Severus gently removed her hands and smoothed the fabric back to its pristine state. His voice and eyes were soft when he answered, "Better me than you, Miss Granger. I am far less important."

He was so accepting. She wanted to vomit.

"Please," he held out his right arm to her. "We cannot waste any more time, Miss Granger. It's time."

Knowing it was futile to resist any further, Hermione wound her arm through his and took a deep, steadying breath. He was right, of course. There was no running from this anymore. Come Hell or high-water, it was time to face it.

"As soon as it's safe to leave, we will," he said as they passed through the foreboding gates. "Try to remain calm. Do not give the others any reason to doubt you. You are Tom Riddle's only child; everyone in that room is beneath you. You _must_ act like it."

The Manor grew closer with every step they took.

Hermione could feel her magic tingling just beneath her skin in warning but she did her best to suppress it. Losing control would do her no good now. As they approached the lavish ivory double doors of the Manor, she gripped his arm just a little tighter. "You'll stay with me?"

Severus rested his left hand on the smaller one gripping his right arm, "Every moment."

The doors opened.

x-x-x

Were Hermione visiting Draco on holiday, she would have undoubtedly been rendered speechless at the magnificence that was Malfoy Manor. Everything was carved from either ivory, marble, or granite. The pillars, the doors, the floors- all of it was more extravagant than anything she had ever seen. It made Tom's house laughable.

These people were not simply playing at being rich.

The ballroom was all ivories and golds, from the floors to the tapestries. There was a grand staircase leading to the main dancing space with a large observing balcony directly across from it.

That was where they stood now.

The room was completely filled, wall-to-wall, with hundreds of people all dressed in the finest fabrics and jewels. It would be easy to mistake such a group for civilized human beings, rather than deviant monsters if one didn't know any better. The women all stood, gazing up lovingly at her father as the men regarded him with a mixture of respect and awe. Each of them hung on his every word, his every breath and glance like simpering sycophants. A few of them looked purely demonic in their anticipation for the undoubtedly horrifying events to come. The bloodlust in the room was palpable.

"My brethren! I cannot express the immense pride I feel as I stand here and look out among you. I have long awaited this day and am most pleased to be able to share such splendor with you all. Tonight, we have a very special guest with us. One I believe you have been waiting for for quite a long time. Brothers and Sisters, I would like to introduce each and every one of you to my daughter, Hermione."

Hermione stepped onto the dais beside her father. With Severus' words in her mind, she gazed out into the crowd of elegantly dressed Death Eaters with as much contempt and confidence as she could muster. She would not let such wretched people intimidate her; not when their lives were on the line. Her only comfort was the feel of Severus' eyes boring into her back a few scant feet away.

"My Lord," a burly man with dark curls and a scruffy beard came forward, bowing lowly. "It is an honor. She is most lovely."

"Indeed, she is," Tom purred, making Hermione's skin crawl. "But I am curious, Dolohov. What is it that makes you so bold this evening? Such an interruption is… severely punishable. Surely you know that."

"Of course, my Lord. However I had hoped now would be acceptable. You see, those of us in your Inner Circle have brought the Princess a gift."

Her father looked genuinely surprised, "Oh?" He turned to Hermione. "And would you be interested in this gift, my child?"

She kept her face expressionless as she inclined her head to him, "If it pleases you, father, I will accept it."

His face lit with a terrifying smile, "Excellent! Bring your gift forward and present it to your Princess so she may judge if it is worthy of her."

A small door to the very back of the ballroom opened, revealing a tall, skeletal woman with a mountain of untamed curls and a short, pudgy man with watery eyes and pinched features. Between them they dragged a person, a man by the looks of his build, with a cloth sack over his head. When they reached the balcony, they both bowed deeply.

"My Lord," the woman crooned, her voice scratchy and grating.

"My Lord," the pudgy man echoed.

"Bellatrix, Wormtail," her father acknowledged. "What have you brought for my daughter this evening?"

"My Lord," Bellatrix smiled, revealing grey, broken teeth and blackening gums. "We thought that the Princess might enjoy celebrating as your loyal Death Eaters do. We have brought her a Muggle most delectable!"

It was just as Severus had warned. Torture. Murder. All in the name of indoctrinating her to their ways. She could feel the bile rising in the back of her throat and the panic threatening to take over again. She had to do _something_ to discourage this.

"How disappointing," Hermione drawled, barely managing to conceal her disgust and revulsion. "I must admit, father, I expected more."

Tom laughed heartily, turning towards her keeper who remained in the shadows behind the dais, "My, my, Severus. You have taught her so well! Such discerning taste already."

From the corner of her eye, Hermione could see Severus incline his head.

He turned back to Bellatrix and Wormtail, "I admit, I am also rather disappointed. She is your Princess; bringing a lowly Muggle such as this as a 'gift' is no better than an insult. Shall I let her practice her _Cruciatus_ on my Inner Circle? Or maybe something a little messier- _Sectumsempra_ , perhaps? What do you think, my child?"

"Wait, wait!" Dolohov came forward again. "My Lord, please. This is no ordinary Muggle we have brought for the Princess."

"That's right!" Wormtail nodded, shoving the blinded man to his knees before them. "We would never insult her by—"

Bellatrix hissed at Wormtail before turning back to the balcony, a terrifying grin on her cracked lips, "Princess, in honor of your very first Revel." She ripped the cloth from the man's head and yanked his blond hair back so they could see his face.

Two blackened cerulean eyes.

"Hello, sweets," Wendell smiled softly up at her.

Her face was curiously blank. Inside, Hermione was screaming.

"Splendid! Absolutely splendid! You have done well, my brethren. So, so well!" Tom was ecstatic, his wicked eyes alight with anticipation. "For those of you who do not know, this Muggle _filth_ tried to claim my daughter as his own. It is only fitting that she be the one to make him suffer now." He turned to Hermione, his typically handsome face twisted and warped by bloodlust. "You have my permission to do whatever you wish with him, child. Tell me, what would you like to do first? Make him beg? Make him bleed? Hmm?"

She couldn't do this. Her act was rapidly crumbling as her mind raced, desperate for a solution. There had to be a way out of this, to save him. Wendell _was_ her father, he had been since she was two years old; after what had happened to her mother, Hermione couldn't let him die like this. And she would be damned if she would ever be the one to raise her wand to him.

"I…"

"My Lord," Severus' stepped forward and placed his hidden hand discretely on her lower back, rubbing the skin with his thumb in a soothing circular motion. "If I may? I have not had the time yet to instruct the Princess on how best to… enjoy her time at the Revels. Perhaps I might provide some suggestions? After all, her first kill, and one so important at that, should be handled with the reverence it deserves."

"Of course, Severus. You are correct. Please," Tom, still smiling evilly, ran his fingers across that strange necklace chain he still had around his neck. "Guide her well."

The entire ballroom was silent as Severus whispered to her, "Breathe for me, Hermione. Now, I need you to trust me. Can you do that? Nod if your answer is yes."

Desperately clawing at her last reserves of calm, Hermione nodded once. She did her best to look deep in thought as he spoke to her.

"Raise your wand to him and take a deep breath as if readying yourself for the spell. I will handle the rest," Severus pressed his fingertips into her lower back slightly. "Trust in me, Hermione."

He stepped back from her and Hermione raised her wand to her stepfather, silently beseeching every God in every religion to keep her hand steady and her face impassive. Tom's smile was so wide, it was a wonder his face didn't split.

Wendell, always sharper than people gave him credit for, seemed to understand the situation they were in. He caught Hermione's eye and smiled. She nearly broke then; seeing her father for the last sixteen years bruised and bleeding on his knees before her, prepared for pain and death at her hands. He knew she had no choice, she could see it in his eyes. He didn't blame her. He still loved her. Even if she did this, he would still be her dad and she would always be his little girl.

Tears welled behind her eyes as she opened her mouth—

" _Avada Kedavra!_ "

Wendell's body slumped to the ground, his eyes staring unseeing up at the balcony. There was a collective gasp and a swirl of fabric as hundreds of Death Eaters turned to see Wormtail standing over Wendell's lifeless form with his wand drawn.

"WORMTAIL!" Tom roared, furious. "YOU DARE?!"

Wormtail blinked a few times as if awakening from a dream and it took a few seconds for him to realize what he had done. He looked up at the balcony, horror, dismay, and confusion on his face. "M.. my Lord, please! I… I don't—"

"The Revel has officially begun, my brethren! Go forth and indulge in your darkest pleasures, but first," Tom snarled, his hands gripping the balustrade so hard his knuckles were white, "You will all watch as I punish Wormtail for callously stealing your offering for the Princess!"

The Death Eaters, eager for blood and furious at their offering being ruined, surrounded Wormtail as her father began screaming spells so Dark, they would undoubtedly haunt her nightmares for a long time to come. His bloodcurdling screams were the last things Hermione heard before Severus mercifully whisked her away from the ballroom.

x-x-x

Hermione was numb.

She was numb when they Apparated back to the house and she was numb as Severus led her up the central staircase to her bedroom. She was vaguely aware of Severus speaking to her, somewhere her brain was registering his praises for her bravery and his comforting words that assured her she was safe now, that they had survived. Her brain recognized the words, but couldn't make sense of them. She didn't feel the carpet beneath her bare feet after Severus removed her heels and she didn't feel her hair tumble down her bare back as he removed the charms she had woven to hold it in place. She didn't feel the expensive fabric of his dress robes on her back as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. She didn't feel the cold marble against the soles of her feet when he set her down in front of the sink.

"Let me get you something to wear. I will be right back, alright?"

She didn't respond.

How could this be happening? How could this be real? She had just seen her stepfather, a man she loved more than her own father, murdered before her very eyes. Tom had wanted her to kill him. He had wanted her to torture him, to make him bleed and cry and beg and plead for his life. He wanted his blood on her hands. How could one person be so wholly evil?

She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she feel… anything?

It wasn't until Hermione looked up at her reflection in the mirror that she finally broke. The front of her gown was spattered in blood from when her father had attacked Wormtail. There was no holding back anymore; she started screaming.

Severus came barreling back into the bathroom with clothes in his hands, panic evident in his eyes, "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

Hermione clawed at the front of her gore-stained dress savagely, tearing several holes in the fabric with her fingernails as she screamed. "Get it off of me!" She cried hysterically, tears pouring unbidden down her cheeks. "Severus, please! _Get it the fuck off!_ " As he was reaching for his wand, she noticed there was also blood splattered across her chest and upper arms as well. Hermione tore at her own flesh like a crazed banshee, desperate to rid her skin of such wicked blood.

"Hermione, stop! Stop!" Severus pleaded, restraining her hands in his iron grip. "All you're doing is hurting yourself. Just let me help you."

Panic seized her. Wormtail's blood was still there, she could see it in the mirror behind him and she had gouged several long, deep wounds across her own chest and arms as well. She watched in horror as blood oozed from her wounds and mingled with the spatter that was already there. She started to hyperventilate and was quickly losing feeling in her extremities. The room started to spin.

Severus cupped her face, "Hermione! Hermione, _breathe!_ You are just having an anxiety attack. I'm here with you, you can make it through this. After what you just witnessed, you can handle anything. Do you hear me, Hermione? _Answer me, Gods damn you!_ "

"Get it off of me," she begged, sobbing between gasping breaths. "The blood, get it off! GET IT OFF!"

He flicked his wand toward the shower before tossing it back onto the sink and crushing her to his chest, " _Finite_ ," he breathed, waving his hand towards her dress. The gown went from black back to lilac, only highlighting the blood even more. "Do not look down, do you understand?"

"Please," Hermione pleaded, burying her face in his chest as she wept. "Just get rid of it."

"Hermione," he said gently. "Can you undo the back?"

" _Vanish_ it! I never want to see it again!"

Without moving more than his arm, Severus's silently vanished the ruined gown, leaving her in just her bra and knickers. "You're bleeding, Hermione. Let me heal you."

She gave a tiny nod but otherwise did not move.

He moved a hand between them and placed it across her upper sternum and began to chant something into her hair that sounded almost lyrical, like a song, " _Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur…_ "

Hermione could feel the gouges on her chest knitting closed. Once they were sufficiently healed, he wrapped his hands around her biceps and chanted again, three more times, until her skin was, once again, unmarred.

"You should take a shower," he murmured, nudging her towards the large frosted glass stall. "It will help."

"No!" She cried, her grip on his clothes tightening as she began to gasp in panic again. "Please, you cannot leave me alone!"

"Hermione, just relax. I am not going anywhere. I will be right here the entire time. Here," he reached across the counter and handed her a large black t-shirt. "I'm just going to your bedroom for a moment so you can get in the shower, alright?"

"You'll come right back?" There was still an edge of hysteria to her voice and her eyes were wild with anxiety and fear.

Severus cupped her cheek, "Yes, I promise."

After he shut the bathroom door, Hermione removed her underthings and stared at herself in the mirror. She pounded her fist on the counter-top in frustration as tears flowed from her eyes once again. What was she going to do? How was she going to survive a life of this? She honestly didn't know.

x-x-x

When Severus reentered the bathroom, Hermione desperately tried to stifle the sounds of her sobs beneath the water. He was not fooled.

"Hermione? Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking." When she didn't respond, Severus slid the door of the shower open a little. "Hermione?"

She was sitting in the far corner of the opulent shower stall, arms wrapped around her knees as she rocked back and forth. The black t-shirt she wore was soaked through and the water continued to spray directly onto her lowered head.

Her voice was almost a whisper, "Please don't leave me alone, Severus."

"I promised I wouldn't, remember?"

Without lifting her head, she reached her right arm blindly for him. A few seconds later, clad in only his trousers and a white button-down, Severus sat on the floor of the shower beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder as they sat under the spray. Soon, he was drenched as well.

"The first Revel is the worst," he finally said. "Eventually…"

"I can't do this."

He turned to look at her, his hair lank and sticking to his face. His eyes were soft, "I know the feeling."

They were silent for a long time before Hermione wrapped her arms around his left one, "What am I going to do, Severus?"

He seemed pensive, "There are options, depending on how far you are willing to go."

She looked up at him, "What do you mean?"

"Could you really turn your back on your father? Could you really walk away, knowing that he could be killed by the other side? Knowing that you may be asked to help kill him?"

Tears stung her eyes as she stared at the opposite wall of the shower, "My father was killed tonight."

"Then, perhaps, it's time we visit the Headmaster of Hogwarts."

When she turned to look at him, Severus smoothed the furrow from her brow with his slender fingers. "You are the only one I trust, Severus."

He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes as he sighed, "If you truly want out, then I'm afraid we might not have any other choice."


	8. Incendio

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own Harry Potter or anything from the HP universe. Thank J.K. Rowling for such magic.**

* * *

8\. _Incendio_

The silence that hung in the air was deafening, seeming to close in and threatening to crush her beneath its weight. The only sounds were the gentle _whirr_ of various odd-shaped instruments and a delicate cooing coming from the freshly burnt baby Phoenix who was lounging in a pile of his own silvery ashes. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance. Fingertips tapped rhythmically against a teacup.

 _Inhale. Exhale._

 _Whirr. Whirr. Whirr._

 _Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

"My heart goes out to you, Miss Granger. Truly, it does. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling, forced into such a position so soon after learning the truth of your parentage."

"Thank you, Headmaster," she said quietly, dragging her forefinger anxiously around the rim of her teacup. "It has certainly not been easy. Were it not for Severus…."

"Mmm, yes," the Headmaster eyed her. "I expect Severus has been quite… _helpful_."

Her keeper's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Miss Granger, while I can certainly appreciate the nature of your… unfortunate situation," Dumbledore adjusted his rather small spectacles, "I am afraid that I cannot help you."

 _Damn it all._ Hermione closed her eyes in defeat, knuckles going white as she gripped the china on her lap. All the anxiety she previously felt bled into hopelessness. Her heart sank as the reality of the situation became clear: there was no way out of this. She was to be eternally bound by Tom's shackles, destined to follow the path he carved for her or risk death.

Even that was an appealing option at this point.

Severus scoffed in disbelief, "Headmaster, surely you cannot be serious. This girl is only 19, for Merlin's sake! How can you just condemn her—"

Dumbledore raised his brow, "Correct me if I'm wrong, Severus, but you were 18 when you took the Mark, were you not?"

"That was different," he snarled, fists balled tight on the arms of his chair. "She is nothing like I was."

"Mmm," he said noncommittally.

"How can you do this?" Severus was furious, his eyes burning. "You are supposed to be leading the resistance! I pledged my service to help you—"

"Let me stop you right there, my dear Severus," Dumbledore held up one long, aged hand. "Surely you are not intending to rewrite history in front of this girl?"

He ground his teeth, "I have told her the things about me that she needs to know, I assure you."

"Did you?" The Headmaster turned to Hermione. "Did he tell you that he is the reason Harry Potter does not have a father?"

Hermione looked to Severus, shock evident on her face. He did not look at her, but his skin drained of what little color it had.

"I thought not. You see, Miss Granger, Severus was very young when he joined the Death Eaters- a year younger than you, in fact. I'm sure he has told you all about this. I'm sure he has also regaled you with his tale of woe and remorse; with how much he regrets the choice he made and how hard he works to redeem himself. Am I on the right path?"

She could only stare at the old Gryffindor in silence.

"What I expect he has not told you, however, is how his choice to become a Death Eater led to the death of Mr. James Potter. I can see you are hesitant to believe me, but I am more than happy to explain so there are no misunderstandings."

"That is enough," Severus' voice was barely above a whisper.

Relentless, the Headmaster steepled his fingers against his chin and continued, "For many, many years, our dear Severus here had quite the soft spot for Miss Lily Evans, the woman who would become Harry Potter's mother. She, however, did not return the sentiment. She was much fonder of Mr. Potter."

"I said, that is _enough_ ," Severus hands trembled, his voice slightly louder now.

"Severus was always an angry boy, Miss Granger, but after a falling out with Miss Evans, his anger grew exponentially. Not three years later did he take the Mark. And soon after that, he conveniently overhead our own Divination professor give me a prophecy during her job interview, which foretold of a child born at the end of July who would ultimately defeat the Dark Lord. Do you know what he did with this information, Miss Granger?"

She shook her head reluctantly.

"He went straight to Tom with the hopes of proving himself _worthy_. And at the time, there were only two witches who had children due at the time the prophecy foretold: Lily Evans and Alice Longbottom. On a whim, your father chose Miss Evans. Oh, one can only imagine how _devastated_ Severus must have felt, knowing he delivered the woman he coveted straight into Tom's eager hands."

"Gods damn you to Hell, Albus," Severus was hunched over, his arms on his knees, with his head bent so low he looked to be in prayer. His entire body was shaking.

Dumbledore spoke louder now, sitting up in his chair, "But we are just getting to my favorite part, Severus. After learning that Tom intended to murder the Potter's and their child, do you know what he did, Miss Granger?"

"Please, Headmaster—" Hermione began.

"DO YOU?" He shouted, slamming his hands down on his desk and rattling his teacup.

"No," she admitted softly, frightened by his sudden anger. "But please—"

"After learning that _his own actions_ had put Miss Evans' life in jeopardy, he begged Tom to spare her. But we all know your father does not make promises he typically intends to keep. So Severus came crawling to me to beg for her life. _Her_ life, Miss Granger. He did not care what happened to her husband or child. It is a miracle that she managed to escape with her son unscathed. But Mr. James Potter was not so lucky."

Hermione saw that Severus looked to be shaking so bad, he might actually shatter into a thousand pieces. She gently rested her hand on his back but he withdrew from her so violently, it was a wonder he didn't break the chair. It was as if her touch had scorched him.

Dumbledore stood, his hands still planted firmly on his desk as he spoke, "In exchange for protecting Miss Evans, our dear Severus sold himself to me like a common whore. He swore his fealty to me in all things, over everyone else- including Tom. He swore to obey me, to follow my orders and carry out my wishes, even if it led him to his death. He did all of this for a woman who no longer gave him the time of day. Now what does that tell you, Miss Granger?"

"I…"

"This is not about me, you fucking bastard!" Severus roared as he shoved himself to his feet and advanced on the Headmaster. "This is not about the mistakes I made! This is about a girl who was given _no choice_! She has done nothing to deserve being forced into this life and as leader of the Order, it is your fucking _obligation_ to help her!"

"My only obligation is to the greater good, Severus. And after what happened with Grindelwald, you would be a fool to think I would not sacrifice you _or_ this girl to attain it."

The men glared at each other, nose-to-oversized-nose, the air crackling and snapping with magic around them. Severus' hand spasmed as it neared his trouser pocket where his wand was hidden.

"Stop! Just _stop_!" Hermione desperately thrust herself between the two wizards. Once she managed to push Severus away from the desk a bit, she turned to the Headmaster. "Headmaster, please. There must be something I can do to convince you that—"

"Do _not_ pander to this doddering old fool, Miss Granger," Severus snarled from behind her.

She turned to her keeper, her eyes pleading, "For once, Severus, please just shut up."

He looked murderous but he kept quiet.

Dumbledore turned and began walking towards a door at the back of the room, presumably to his private quarters, "Severus offered me his service, an opportunity to have a spy within your father's ranks. That was and is something I will always need. However, I do not need more than one. I am afraid that there is nothing you have that would benefit the Order, Miss Granger. Good night."

Something to offer…

Something that would benefit the resistance…

Something that would help them to stop Tom…

"Wait!"

The Headmaster turned back to her, his expression only mildly inquisitive.

Hermione twisted the belt of her thick dressing gown anxiously, "I think… I think I might have something to offer the Order after all, Headmaster."

"Oh?"

She nodded, "I've been working on an Arithmancy equation…"

Severus came up behind her and clamped his large hand over her mouth, " _No_ ," he said firmly.

"Well you certainly have my attention now," Dumbledore remarked as he made his way back to the desk. "What kind of equation, Miss Granger?"

" _No_ ," he repeated again, much more forcefully.

Hermione tugged on Severus' hand gently and much to her surprise, he actually pulled it away from her mouth, "Please, give us one moment, Headmaster."

The old man inclined his head in acquiescence.

She led Severus to a far corner of the room, as far as they could get from the Headmaster, and he immediately cast a _Silencio_ and _Muffliatio_ around them.

"Are you _mad_?" He snapped as soon as the spells settled. "You cannot give him that equation!"

"Severus…"

The ridiculously tall wizard blocked out the light from the room as he loomed over her, "No, listen to me, Miss Granger. Albus is a user, he uses people to get what he wants and he does not care who he hurts in the process. There is every chance that he will only safeguard you until we can successfully create the potion. After that, he could very well turn his back on you and keep your creation and the credit for himself."

"You think I care about being _recognized_ if the equation creates a working potion?" She hissed indignantly. "You think I give a single shite if he steals it from me and claims it as his own? How can you even suggest I would care about something so trivial at a time like—"

"That is not what I am suggesting, Miss Granger. I am suggesting that after we hand him a working potion, you will no longer be useful and he will be rid of you."

She was horrified, "But… you said he leads the resistance against Tom. How can that be when… when they are both exactly the same?"

Severus' expression was grave, "That's the irony of it all. They are simply two sides of the same coin."

Hermione took a moment to let all of this information sink in, chewing her lip as the thoughts swirled rapidly around her mind, "If the Headmaster were to do that to me… Tom would know I betrayed him."

"Yes."

"He would kill me. And you."

"…Yes."

She slumped against the bookcase, her head falling back against the aged wood as she looked up at the ceiling, "What am I supposed to do here, Severus? I'm damned either way."

His answer was concise, "Let me do my job."

Hermione let out a humorless scoff, "And let you get yourself killed in the process when your efforts to shield me from Tom are inevitably revealed? I think not."

"What does it matter if I—"

"For fuck's sake, Severus!" She punched his arm forcefully in frustration. "Of course it matters! How could it _not_?"

His brow was furrowed and he looked away, clearly uncomfortable, "You heard the things Albus told you. You know what kind of person I am."

She gripped his chin and yanked it hard, forcing him to face her, "Your mistakes do not define you, you daft, self-deprecating git."

He refused to meet her eyes, but pink spots appeared high on his sharp cheeks and he cleared his throat.

"Now be useful and tell me," Hermione let his chin go but remained staring into his face. "If I give this equation to the Headmaster, how long will it take to gather the ingredients and create a working potion? How much time will we have?"

Severus scowled, his onyx eyes calculating, "To gather the ingredients, probably a month. There are some things that can only be harvested at certain times of the lunar cycle, after all. And to actually combine them properly so that the potion will work as it is meant to will probably take another month at the least."

Two months. She could work with that.

"And how much does the Headmaster know about how to defeat Tom? How much do _you_ know?"

"I cannot speak for how much Dumbledore knows, but if the Order's lack of coordination is anything to by, then probably not much. As for me- one of my fellow Death Eaters and I have been watching the Dark Lord for a long time, even moreso recently. We have bits and pieces of information, along with many more assumptions and theories, but nothing conclusive yet."

Hermione gnawed on the inside of her cheek, "So everyone is flying blind. Do you think he would protect me long enough for us to use the potion? Long enough for us to get away when my father realizes he's been betrayed?"

He frowned, "I suppose that is a possibility. Albus can be cruel, but he is also imminently practical. He wouldn't want to be rid of you until he knew for certain that you were devoid of future usefulness."

"Then that will have to be enough. We need the time and freedom to create my potion and we can't do that with my father breathing down our necks. I won't go into detail about the equation's specifics, but you have to let me tell him about it, Severus," she took one of his hands in hers. "We need his protection for the next two months if we're going to do this. You know we do."

Severus sighed but nodded, "Alright. Tell him."

With a polite smile on her lips, Hermione broke through her keeper's spells and marched up to the Headmaster's desk where he had been watching them intently. "In exchange for your protection from Tom, I will tell you about my Arithmancy equation but with one condition: Severus and I will be the ones to brew the potion it creates."

"You still have not told me what it does, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, his eyes alight with curiosity.

"It will create a potion that can rid a body of all Dark magic it has ever encountered, severing any bonds associated with it."

The Headmasters eyes widened considerably, "You are certain? Severus?"

Her keeper simply nodded.

"Well, Miss Granger, I must admit I am quite surprised. I never imagined you had something so valuable in your possession," he came around to the front of the desk where she stood held out his hand. "You have a deal."

She shook it.

Just as they were making their way back to the Floo, Dumbledore called out, "Oh, Miss Granger? One more stipulation before you go."

They turned back to face the Headmaster, fearing the worst.

"You and Severus will make this potion your top priority, though I would appreciate it if you did not spread this information around. No use getting everyone all excited until we have it in hand and know it will work as intended."

Hermione and Severus both relaxed and she gave him a warm smile, "Of course, I understand completely Headmaster. We will get started right away."

x-x-x

It wasn't five minutes after returning to Tom's house that the adrenaline rush began to wear off. Just being in her room was enough to bring her anxiety rushing back. The transfigured heels sat undisturbed at the end of her bed and the door to her bathroom was still cracked. Hermione felt nauseous as the events of the previous evening flooded her mind again. She hoped to all the Gods that the Headmaster did not intend for her to stay here.

She turned but saw that Severus was already trying to make his escape back through her Floo. Her throat constricted at the thought of being alone in this house, in this room, after clawing her dress and skin to veritable shreds in a fit of panic only a few short hours before. She threw herself at him, the grip on his arm so tight her fingers ached in protest.

"Please, stay," Hermione pleaded, her face flushed in embarrassment. "After… I just…" She looked up to see him regarding her warily. "You promised me."

He seemed slightly mollified at the reminder, "I can ward your room, Miss Granger. You will be safe here even if I'm not. Besides, my chambers are just beyond your Floo. I will not be far."

"If you leave, I'll have nightmares," she admitted quietly. To be honest, the odds were quite good that she would have nightmares regardless of where Severus was, but she would feel better if he were to be close by to wake her just in case. "You promised you wouldn't leave me alone."

"Miss Granger," Severus' voice was gruff, "for me to stay here, in your room, would be highly inappropriate. I am—"

"What?" Hermione challenged. "My protector? My professor? Double my age? Why should any of that nonsense matter?"

"Of course it matters. How could it _not_?"

She wanted to hex him for throwing her own words back at her.

"I think you are grasping at straws, Severus. I think you want to retreat to your chambers so you can get pissed and wallow in your regret. I think you want to distance yourself from me."

His face hardened and he snatched his arm roughly from her grasp, "Watch your mouth, Miss Granger. You sound ignorant when you speak of things you don't understand."

She tried to reach for him again but he stalked away towards the Floo, his usual flurry of robes absent and making him seem much less intimidating.

"Why do you do that? There is nothing wrong with _feeling_ , Severus. You don't have to smother every burgeoning emotion to death with anger and snark. It's not a crime to feel vulnerable or—"

"You are nothing but a foolish little girl, hardly old enough to even dress yourself. What the fuck would you know of such things?" He tried to grab the pot of Floo powder from the mantle but she knocked it from his hand, sending the pot to the floor where it shattered spectacularly.

She refused to rise to the bait; he would not distract her this time, "I am _not_ a little girl, Severus. You would be wise to remember that."

His eyes sparked with rage, "You _dare_ to threaten me? You heard Albus. You know the things I am capable of. Do you have any idea all the ways in which I could kill you, even without my wand?"

"You are far too noble for that. I'm sorry to break it to you, Severus, but you don't frighten me."

"Oh?" His voice lowered to a growl as he stalked forward, forcing her to walk backwards until her back hit something solid. A wall? "Are you certain of that?"

As he loomed over her, his bottomless onyx eyes boring into hers, Hermione felt a great many things. Fear, however, was not even remotely close to being one of them. He came a little closer, brushing her body ever so lightly with his.

"Your ridiculously Gryffindor emotions betray you. Are you certain you belong in Slytherin?"

Her heart was pounding viciously beneath her sternum, her breaths coming in quick pants against his chest. The smell of sandalwood, rosemary, and honey assaulted her senses and it sent her reeling. He was so close, she could feel the heat from his skin radiating through the fabric of the trousers and shirtsleeves he still wore. Devoid of his frock coat and robes, Hermione found herself entranced. His smell, his eyes, his voice… the man was desire incarnate. He was just… magnificent. How could that Evans girl not want him? How could _everyone_ not want him?

Hermione's magic manifested itself, winding itself like coils around her skin and inside her hair. The cobalt tendrils reached for him, licking at his skin like flames. When they brushed him, he inhaled sharply but did not move.

"I think you're more afraid of _me_ , Severus," she breathed, reaching slowly, ever so slowly, for him. When her fingertips found the skin of his forearms, blessedly revealed by his rolled sleeves, Hermione could actually feel his magic responding, desiring to meld with hers. She suppressed a whimper.

"What are you doing?" His voice was strangled, but he still did not move away from her.

"I have no idea," Hermione admitted breathlessly. "Merlin have mercy, Severus. What is this?"

He didn't respond, he simply stared at her in disbelief.

Those black eyes were shredding her from the inside out. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a few deep breaths, desperately trying to bring herself back from the edge. He was still too close; each time she inhaled was like fanning the flames. Her hands trembled. When she finally opened her eyes again, Severus looked conflicted.

"How can you not feel it?" Her fingers danced across the flesh of his arms, sending little frissons of lightening down her spine. "The fire."

He spoke just short of a whisper, "Who says I don't?"

The trembling extended from her hands to the rest of her body until she was visibly quaking, little sparks of magic scorching the plush carpet and singeing the wall. Unlike when she was upset, however, the sparks did not burn him this time. They did seem to want to burrow under his skin and make a home there, but settled for slipping back and forth across his delicate skin instead. His eyes burned and she could feel his arms shaking slightly. Severus let out a harsh breath as he rested one arm against the wall above her and leaned on it, eyes slipping shut as he forced himself to breathe slowly.

He was so tall that by leaning over her, he managed to trap her in the cage of his body. Hermione felt his heaving chest brush against her face and the last vestiges of her control ebbed away. She slid her small hands up his arms until they reached his chest and fisted in the snow white fabric of his shirt. Her magic slipped happily between the pearlescent buttons and caressed his chest like a lover.

"You deserve better," Hermione managed through the fog of desire that clouded her mind. "You deserve so much better than her."

His eyes snapped open, " _What_?"

Her head fell back against the wall, eyes locking as they both struggled to get enough oxygen, "How could she not… you are…"

"I am _what_?" Severus panted, his fist tightening beside her head.

" _Magnificent_ ," Hermione exhaled reverently as she gazed up at him. "You are absolutely magnificent. How could she not want you? Was she blind?"

He growled, but it was somewhat tempered by his labored breathing, "Lies do not become you."

She laughed incredulously, "Jesus, Merlin, and Buddah, I have been reduced to a quivering mass of jelly at your feet and you still don't believe me."

Severus grit his teeth, inhaling sharply through his large aquiline nose, "We cannot do this."

"Why? Are you still in love with her?"

"She doesn't have anything to do with this."

"I beg to differ."

His eyes hardened in warning even as he leaned into her touch, "Miss Granger…"

"Then leave," Hermione's fingers glided up the slender column of his throat to rest at his sharp jawbone. "If you're still in love with her- leave."

He did not move a single inch.

"I thought not."

Severus' voice was more gravelly this time, "I am sworn to protect you."

"And you are doing a fantastic job," her fingers slid to his chin. "Outstanding."

"I am your professor."

She traced the line of his prominent brow, "I could take my N.E.W.T.s tomorrow and pass without even cracking open a book."

He tilted his head towards her so she could continue her ministrations, "I am almost twenty years your senior."

"Perfect," she outlined the carved precision of his cupid's bow. "I'm not interested in hormonal teenage boys anyway."

"This is not a good idea," Severus brushed her cheek with his nose, sending a bolt of heat through her abdomen.

"On the contrary, I think this is the best idea either of us has ever had."

He cupped her cheek, "And _I_ think you have exceedingly poor taste, Miss Granger. You are not nearly as selective as you should be."

"That is where you're wrong," she whispered against the corner of his mouth. "I am entirely _too_ selective. That is why I only want you."


	9. Cave Inimicum

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Much as I wish it were so, I do not own Harry Potter. Thank J.K. Rowling, if you please.**

* * *

9\. _Cave Inimicum_

A noise at the far end of the bedroom, somewhere near her door, disrupted her surprisingly peaceful slumber. Hermione frowned as sleep threatened to drag her under again. She burrowed her face a little deeper into the pillow and stretched her arm out, searching for where she remembered he'd been sitting. Soon her fingers would come in contact with the fabric of his trousers, she was sure of it. Certainly he would not have left her in the middle of the night. He promised…

"Why have you sought me out, Severus? Usually you are above such impudence."

Her eyes snapped open.

"My Lord, it would seem that we have a rather unexpected development and I'm afraid that it cannot wait."

"Oh? What kind of development?"

"The Headmaster has taken an interest in your daughter."

It was silent for a moment but she could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again, "Is that so? How fascinating. Tell me more about this… _interest_."

Her keeper wove lies as if they came as natural as breathing, "The Order is weakening and there is dissension in the ranks as to what the next move should be. Dumbledore believes that your daughter could act as a morale booster of sorts, for her presence would signify dysfunction within your own walls. He wishes for me to sway her to his side."

He father laughed, "The old man never fails to surprise me. Does he really think my child, who you have trained and educated _so well_ to our ways would simply give herself over to the Light at the drop of a hat?"

"He is quite ignorant, my Lord. He believes the Light can sway any and all."

"And tell me, Severus, is he correct? Would Hermione's presence in the Order bring them hope for victory?"

"No, My Lord. I have known the Order members a very long time… her presence would almost certainly tear them apart. There are a few that would inherently trust her, as she is young and impressionable, but others would be staunchly opposed and unafraid to say so. It would not take long for the Order to crumble."

"Excellent, Severus. Excellent. And what of Hermione? Have you spoken with her about this?"

"Yes, my Lord. The Headmaster requested a meeting with her directly after the Revel and I was by her side. We discussed it when we returned this evening."

"And?"

"She is most pleased with the opportunity to destroy the Order from the inside should you allow it. She also expressed her relief at the possibility of being nearer to me should she ever require my protection again. I, too, believe that having her so close would indeed make it much easier to keep an eye on her wellbeing."

Her father's voice was like poison, "Then help her pack her things. I believe it's time for Hermione to properly attend Hogwarts."

And just like that, Severus had removed the first of Tom's shackles from around her wrists.

x-x-x

"I still can't stay in the Slytherin dorms?"

Severus shook his head as he pulled all of her shrunken things from the pockets of his robes and enlarged them for her. He waved his wand around the small dungeon suite to clear the dust and spider webs. "Both the Headmaster and your father agree it would be best for you to retain the appearance of leaving the castle each day. Remember, your father believes you are infiltrating the Order and the Headmaster believes you under _his_ protection. In either scenario, it would be wise to keep your peers ignorant. This suite is close enough to my office that it will still look as though you are Flooing back to your father's house without causing suspicion."

Hermione eyed the room skeptically. It obviously had not been used in a very long time and he was having to use quite a bit of spellwork to clean everything. "Going to all this trouble is hardly necessary. Your chambers are even closer to your office and according to the floorplans I have seen in some of the history books I have read, only minimum alterations would need to be made for me to stay there."

He stopped dead, spots of color blooming on his cheekbones. His voice was rough, "5 points from Slytherin, Miss Granger. For absurd, inappropriate suggestions."

She huffed and rolled her eyes, "Merlin Almighty, I'm not suggesting sullying your delicate virginal honor, Severus. I simply think—"

His head whipped around to glare at her, " _Watch it, girl_."

He continued to make the room habitable with sharp, angry slashes of his wand for a few more seconds before stalking towards the door. Hermione grabbed his arm before he could escape. "Hey… I was just joking, Severus. I wasn't trying to upset you."

He shook her off roughly but did not even turn around as he snarled, "Within these walls, you will address me as Professor Snape. Fail to address me properly again and you will find yourself in a permanent, ongoing detention with Mr. Filch polishing every sconce in this castle until your fingers bleed. Am I understood?"

His words felt like a slap to the face considering the things they had been through together. Rage unfurled within her like the coils of a snake. "Why are you acting like such an arse? I was just messing with you since you seemed _so_ wholly opposed to me being anywhere near your private chambers. You seemed like you were more worried about me having wicked, dishonorable intentions, rather than realizing I was just trying to save you from the hassle of having to clean up this ancient room. What, you can kiss me but not take a joke? What kind of shite is that?"

Severus rounded on her, his eyes flashing with fury, "I was coerced by the power of your raw magic."

She snorted, crossing her arms, "Right. It just _forced_ you, one of the most powerful wizards I have ever met, to kiss me against your will. You had nothing to do with it at all. How could I have ever made that mistake?"

Hermione had not realized, in her own fit of anger and sarcasm, that she was poking the bear. He stalked towards her slowly, his onyx eyes burning, voice low, "Before I leave this room and allow us to begin our little charade, let me make something perfectly clear."

She backed up a little, alarmed.

"I do not respond well being mocked, Miss Granger. I will not tolerate it; not from the snot-nosed little shites that inhabit this school and certainly not from you. You will act respectfully towards me because this little game we are playing with your father and the Headmaster is _your_ doing. _You_ shook hands with Albus. _You_ came up with the bright idea to bargain your equation for your life. I am bound, if you must know, by an Unbreakable Vow to guard your life with mine and as such, was dragged along into your little scheme. I do not like it. I do not think it is necessary. I do not think it was the right choice. But here I am, doing what must be done to save your life. Do not mistake this for anything other than what it is, Miss Granger. Do not let your magic or any _chemistry_ ," he sneered the word, "your magic fools you into feeling lead you to think anything different. We are bound by a Vow. One day, we will not be. I warned you before not to waste your foolish, schoolgirl fantasies on me. I meant it. I do not love you. I _will_ not. Therefore, the status of my 'virginal honor' in no way concerns you, nor will it ever. Speak to me that way again and I will make you regret it. Do you understand me?"

His expression was rage incarnate, but there was something else behind his eyes. Something softer, more vulnerable. Was he… embarrassed? If there was one thing she learned over the last few months with him, it was that he lashed out when he was hurt. He wore his snark and anger like a thick band of armor. When he was hurt, he wanted to hurt in return. Of course, such reactions probably weren't exactly healthy but after the things he had been through, it made sense for him to be that way. However, that made dealing with him and his mercurial emotions quite the challenge. Hermione knew all of this about him, but there was still a part of her brain that itched to lash out right back at him. Part of her wanted to slap him for his hurtful words. Part of her wanted to kiss him just to prove that he was lying. She was smart enough to know that none of those reactions would help her cause; they would only serve to piss him off further.

Hermione watched his face for what seemed like a very long time before she found her voice again. "Forgive me, Professor Snape. I meant no disrespect."

With his crooked teeth bared, Severus whipped around and stormed out, robes billowing behind him as he slammed the door shut so hard her wand rolled off the desk.

x-x-x

He did not apologize.

She did not expect him to. Not sober anyway.

Days passed and classes continued. Hermione still tried her best not to go anywhere alone, but sometimes it was impossible. One morning, she had stayed behind in Ancient Runes to ask Professor Babbling about a particularly tricky translation that she could not quite grasp. She had warmed up to her rather spectacularly over the weeks and no longer seemed hesitant to spend time in the younger girl's presence.

"I thought perhaps they were Ancient Norse, but I could not find a single text that referenced anything that looked like this one," she gestured towards her notes.

Professor Babbling smiled, "That would be because these particular runes pre-date the Norse ones."

Hermione frowned as she added to her notes, "Interesting. I'll have to look in a completely different section then. Thank you so much for your help, Professor. I really appreciate it."

"Then are you looking for an Apprenticeship in Ancient Runes, Miss Granger?"

She paused, her parchment halfway into her bag, "I… I had initially thought Arithmancy but I do enjoy both subjects immensely…"

Professor Babbling eyed her with a grin, "Double Apprenticeships are rare, but not unheard of."

Hermione nodded slowly.

"You are a natural at Ancient Runes, Miss Granger," the professor shuffled some things on her desk absently. "And Professor Vector tells me you have an aptitude for Arithmancy far above anything she has seen in a very long time. What career path are you considering?"

For as long as she could remember, from the time she entered Beuxbatons, Hermione wanted to be a professor. She wanted to help shape young minds and be allowed to continue learning forever. While her classmates had lamented in returning to school, she reveled in it, thrived on it. She never wanted to leave, which was perfect as professors tended to live at the boarding school where they taught.

Then Tom happened.

After being thrust into a life with the Dark Lord as her father and being forced to attend a Revel where a member of her family was murdered before her eyes, Hermione had changed her mind. Abruptly.

She wanted to help.

"I want to be a Curse Breaker, Professor."

The older woman raised her eyebrows almost into her hairline, but smiled warmly, "With your talent at both Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, I would say that is a very attainable goal."

Warmth bloomed in her chest.

"When you finish your N.E.W.T.s, come speak with Professor Vector and I so that we may discuss the possibility of a double Apprenticeship," she waved her hand towards the door, a small smile still on her lips. "Now, off to lunch with you before the Headmaster has my head for making you skip a meal."

"Thank you very much, Professor," Hermione slung her bag over her shoulder and made it all the way to the door before the older woman called out to her again. She turned.

"Do tell Miss Parkinson I feel bad for sending her away. I didn't know how long she would be waiting for you and I didn't want her to miss lunch as well."

Dread sat like a rock in the pit of her stomach- the Great Hall was many floors below the Ancient Runes classroom- but she nodded, "Of course, Professor."

x-x-x

Hermione made it to the third floor before she realized she was being followed.

Whoever followed her was either invisible or Disillusioned and they had cast a silencing spell on their steps, but she could feel them just a few feet behind. The skin on the back of her neck prickled and her muscles tensed but she did her best to retain the illusion of being unaware.

Severus was still angry with her. She did not want him to be dragged away from whatever he was doing just to save her again. She was a powerful and intelligent witch; she should be able to handle herself.

Everything happened at once then. A hand reached out to grip her shoulder, she cracked the invisible person behind her in the face with her elbow, unsheathed her wand, shoved the person into a dark alcove and pressed her wand to their throat. Before she could speak, the fabric that had rendered the person invisible slipped to the ground—an Invisibility Cloak?—and she was left staring into the bespectacled, bleeding face of Harry Potter.

His expression was annoyed but he was unarmed so she lowered her wand, "Why are you following me?" His emerald gaze flickered down to his obviously broken nose for a brief moment before returning to her face, expectant. She rolled her eyes, " _Episky_."

The bone cracked back into place and the bleeding stopped. He wriggled his nose a little before he looked satisfied that it was healed properly, "Was that really necessary?"

"Someone invisible grabbed me from behind in an empty corridor after following me for some time. Considering who my father is, would _you_ take the chance?"

"I guess I see your point."

She lowered her wand again but did not put it away, "What do you want?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"Are you working for the Order now?"

Hermione hesitated, unsure how much she was supposed to divulge.

Now he rolled his eyes, "Neville, Ron, and me are all members. Inducted at the beginning of our 7th year. At our last meeting, Dumbledore said that you… switched sides and that we could trust you. Is it true?"

Severus would probably be furious with her, but she really was _so tired_ of everyone thinking she was evil, that she was just like Tom. She wanted someone to know the truth. Just one person.

"Yes," she said quietly. "It is."

He eyed her skeptically, "And Voldemort, _the_ Voldemort, just let you leave? He just let his only child join his enemies like that?"

"Well, it wasn't quite as simple as all that but—"

There was a flash of black and then they were both ripped rather violently by their arms from the alcove where they had been hidden.

Sandalwood. Rosemary. Honey.

Shite.

Severus's expression was murderous, bordering on unhinged. She wanted to step back from his frightening countenance but he held them both firmly in his vice-like grip. Potter struggled to break free, but Hermione knew better. She remained frozen in place.

"50 points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter," he hissed. "For engaging in inappropriate behavior in the halls."

"There's blood on my face! How can you think—"

Severus shoved him away, towards the moving staircase, "I suggest you get down to the Great Hall before I assign you detention during every remaining Quidditch match of the season."

Without another word, he nodded at Hermione before disappearing down the hall, tucking his Invisibility Cloak into his school robes.

They were alone.

"Sev... Professor Snape, I—"

"What the hell were you doing with him?" He snapped fiercely. "Why were you not in the Great Hall?"

"I stayed behind to talk to Professor Babbling," she placated. "I was on my way down when I felt someone following me. He grabbed me just as—"

His wand slid down from the sheath in his sleeve and he turned towards the staircase, " _I will fucking kill him_."

She stayed his hand, "Nothing was going on, Professor Snape. We were just talking."

He wrenched from her grip, "If you think for a _fucking_ moment that I will allow another _fucking_ _Potter_ to take something that is _fucking_ _mine_ , then you are _fucking_ mistaken."

"Yours?" She seethed, magic crackling in her fingertips as she flexed her hands. "First of all, I am not a possession, _Professor_."

He turned, seemingly surprised that he had spoken aloud.

"Second," Hermione advanced on his, her hair frizzing with blue sparks, "you do not own me. I can speak to whomever I please."

Severus sheathed his wand.

"Third," she cornered him in the alcove he had ripped her from, "we are bound by a Vow. One day, we will not be. You warned me before not to waste my foolish, schoolgirl fantasies on you. You meant it. You do not love me. You _will_ not. Therefore, the status of _my_ 'virginal honor' in no way concerns you, nor will it ever, _sir_. Do _you_ understand _me_?"

For a long moment, the simply stared each other down, chests heaving with labored breaths as they struggled to get their respective tempers under control. Cobalt sparks sizzled between them, bounding eagerly back and forth between woven gray and obsidian wool.

His words were strangled and harsh, "I am undone."

His lips crashed into hers so hard, her spine nearly melded with the wall. She gripped his hair, helpless to stop the torrent of desire coursing through her. Long, slender fingers gripped her hips, pulling her flush against his lean body as he groaned low into her mouth. She was so angry with him; how dare he be so cruel to her, say such awful things, then turn around and try to lay claim on her? How dare he dismiss the explosive chemistry between them as some anomaly of her raw magic? How _dare_ he minimize her feelings?

She bit down, none too gently, on his lower lip.

Severus moaned.

Hermione could feel her resolve melting away under his attentions. A few more swipes of his venomous tongue and she would no longer remember her own name, let alone why she was upset with him. She pushed on his chest and he stopped, resting his forehead on hers.

"How can you kiss me like that… after the things you said?"

He did not open his eyes, "Have you not heard? I'm a veritable bastard."

She wanted to slap him. She wanted to laugh. Instead, she nudged him with her nose. It worked; his eyes opened. "You said this was nothing more than my magic coercing you."

He let out a barking laugh, "Absurd."

"You cannot keep hurting me and expect me to always forgive you, Severus."

His eyes softened and he cupped her cheek in his calloused palm, "I know."

Hermione closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his thumb swiping across her cheekbone.

"You are wrong," he said quietly, almost too low for her to hear.

"About what?"

"We may be bound by a Vow but…" Severus was quiet for a moment and she opened her eyes to see him gazing down at her with reverence. "…we will always be bound. And… I did not mean it. And someday… I… I may…. And it does concern me, Hermione. Very, very much."

She fisted her hands in the front of his teaching robes to stop them from trembling. He was confessing a great many things to her in very few words. He was using his own, spiteful words and twisting them to tell her the truth. The real truth.

Certain that anything she could possibly say would ruin the moment, Hermione gently pressed her lips to his. He wound his fingers into the hair at the back of skull, melding her to him. His tongue slipped past her lips to taste every inch of her mouth as she struggled to remember how to breathe properly. Her knees turned to jelly.

"How could you ever think…" His mouth slid down her neck to the juncture at her shoulder. "How can you not see…"

She gave a breathy chuckle, "I'm not a Legilimens. All I have for certain are your words."

"Actions," he corrected, nipping the sensitive skin. "Words deceive, actions do not. _You_ have my actions."

Hermione gripped his robes tighter.

x-x-x

It was close to midnight as Hermione pulled on her thick robes and fur-lined boots. She was supposed to meet Severus in exactly ten minutes so they could venture into the Forbidden Forest for the first of their ingredients- the ones that could only be harvested during a full moon. Better to get the more difficult ones out of the way first, he had said.

The incident with Harry Potter nearly a week ago has caused some subtle changes in her keeper. He was not nearly as acerbic when speaking to her and he really did try to keep his snark to a minimum. Not that those things would ever truly go away, they were simply a part of who he was after all, but he was… gentler. More considerate.

The lack of whiplash was refreshing.

After ensuring no one else was in the hall, Hermione slipped from her room and walked the ten feet to the Potions classroom. It was empty, of course, so she went and knocked on his office door.

Nothing.

She knocked again.

Still nothing.

Had the meeting gone over? She frowned, trying to remember what time he had left. Seven? Eight? Surely an Order meeting wouldn't last _that_ long. Surely he wouldn't dawdle when he knew they had vital ingredients to collect tonight.

Unless he _had_ returned and was already awaiting her in the courtyard? He typically was not one for mollycoddling and since it was well past curfew, there wouldn't be anyone in the halls to notice her. He might very well be expecting her to make it to the courtyard by herself.

Well, no use wasting any more precious time.

Hermione palmed her wand as she made her way through the darkened stone halls. There was something so peaceful about wandering the halls at night, the ability to observe the castle in complete silence without malicious stares and whispers. Oh, she would be lying if she said things at Hogwarts weren't getting better- they certainly were. But no matter how comfortable people seemed around her, they would flinch if she moved too fast or cringe if she spoke too loud or duck if she raised her wand too high. They were still very much afraid.

She sighed to herself. Her father had killed many of their family members; what did she expect from them? Open arms? Not likely.

As she approached the courtyard, her steps slowed. She could hear voices. Hushed, but there. Hermione cast a silent _Muffliato_ around her feet and crept towards the wide stone arches adorning the courtyard. When she saw who it was, she froze.

Severus stood in front of the fountain, his skin luminous and hair rippling like waves under the pale moonlight. But he was not alone. In front of him was a woman; tall, slender, with fiery red hair that scorched even in the dark. Her skin was the color of poured cream and there was a lovely smattering of auburn freckles across the bridge of her perfectly proportioned nose. Flawless pearly teeth gleamed between her luscious pink lips. Her eyes were a radiant, sparkling jade.

Severus did not look annoyed at the woman's intrusion. He looked… he looked…

"I just don't get it, Sev. You're so much smarter than this!"

"I am certain I have no idea what you mean."

The woman threw her arms up in exasperation, "The girl is Voldemort's daughter. His _only_ daughter. You can't possibly think he'd really let her turn to the Order so easily!"

He looked away.

"Sev," she reached up and turned his face back to her. He blushed, actually _blushed_.

Hermione felt nauseous.

He cleared his throat, "I assure you, Lily, I know what I am doing."

Lily. _Lily_. Fuck, not _her_. Anyone but her.

Merlin, Jesus, Buddah, Allah… the woman was even more stunning than Hermione had ever imagined.

Fuck.

"Do you? You're supposed to be her bodyguard- what do you think will happen to you if anyone in the Order hurts her? He'll _kill_ you, Sev!"

"We all must take risks in this war."

She stamped her foot, "So you're just willing to throw your life away for this girl? What the hell, Sev? Do you have a thing for her or something?"

"That is enough," he growled. "She is a child."

"A very _pretty_ one."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Lily…"

She pulled his hand down and grabbed his face with both hands, "Look I'm sorry, okay? I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I know you better than that. You'd never stoop that low."

Hermione felt her heart clench. So being interested in her was _stooping low_ , was it? Then again, if you compared her to Lily, even she would be inclined to agree.

"You just have to trust me, Lily," he said. "I am doing what is in the best interest of everyone. I would not have burdened the Order with the girl if I did not think she could be useful."

She smiled, gripping his hand now, "Of course I trust you. You're the smartest one I know, Sev."

He cleared his throat again, lowering his head a little, "Yes… well…"

"Come by Godric's Hollow sometime?" She asked, cocking her head. "We can have dinner one weekend when Dumbledore doesn't have you on rounds. We haven't had a chance to properly talk in ages."

"I…"

"Great!" Lily bounded up and pressed her lips to his lightly before turning to leave. "I'll take the Floo home. Safer, you know? Owl me when you want to have dinner!"

As she came closer, Hermione cast a quick Disillusionment charm over her crouched form below the archway. She tried to be silent- she had not had a chance to cast a _Silencio_ or _Muffliato_ \- but Lily stopped just in front of her, her head inclining only slightly.

"Did you really think it would be that easy?" Lily asked quietly.

Hermione remained silent, hands covering her mouth and nose to stifle the sounds of her breathing.

Under the pretense of tying her shoe, Lily bent down to where she was crouched, "Sev is like a mountain- constant, unyielding, unchanging."

She still did not respond.

Lily flicked her hand towards Hermione, casting a nonverbal _Finite_ that dissolved her Disillusionment charm. Their eyes met, cinnamon to jade, as she spoke, "He's been in love with me since we were kids. Even after I married James. Even after I had Harry. Even now. Sev _doesn't change_. Not for you, not for anyone."

Hermione simply stared at her.

Lily stood, flipping her lush copper hair over her shoulder and adjusting her immaculate robes, "You can't change a mountain, Hermione. You'll only hurt yourself trying."

With that, she walked away.

Hermione sat there for a long time with her cloak pulled tightly around her as if it could protect her heart. Severus had told her that his words could not be trusted, that he often was forced to use them to deceive. He had told her that his actions were what mattered.

When she finally managed to pull herself up, determined not to let the older woman's words bother her, Hermione turned to see Severus standing stock-still in the courtyard, his fingers still pressed to his lips.

Her heart lurched painfully.

Actions, indeed.


	10. Depulso

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: J.K. Rowling forever owns Harry Potter; I do not.**

* * *

10\. _Depulso_

They had collected the ingredients- loose unicorn hair, black briar heart, elves ear root- in complete silence. Severus didn't acknowledge her when she'd appeared in the courtyard, nor when they walked to the Forbidden Forest, nor when they harvested the ingredients. He did not make a single sound the entire time they were outside.

He just kept touching his lips with the tips of his fingers.

To be fair, he tried to be subtle about it, but Hermione noticed every time.

So, that was that then. He _was_ still in love with her.

Hermione tried to tell herself she wasn't surprised. She tried to tell herself it didn't hurt because she had expected as much. She tried to tell herself that she was not second best, a distraction, simply something to pass the time.

But she had never been good at lying to herself.

To say that her magic was angry would be a gross understatement. It felt… used. Betrayed. Cheated. Like it had found its counterpart and had it stolen away. And it wanted to hurt him for hurting her.

So Hermione tightened her control on the sentient part and locked it away, as far deep within herself as she could without damaging it.

After they had enough of each ingredient to brew a few batches of the potion, they returned to the castle together. As they walked, she tried to think of something to say, some way to broach what she had seen. She wanted to tell him that she understood, that she would not hold it against him because Lily really was much better suited for him than she was. She wanted to tell him that she would not force him to choose because it was unfair. She wanted to tell him it was ok.

Instead, she said nothing.

She told him once that she would not wrap him in platitudes just to make him feel better, just to justify his actions. She meant it.

So she said nothing.

He didn't even slow his stride when they reached the door to her room. He didn't look back when he grabbed the handle of the Potions classroom and disappeared.

Hermione's stomach twisted as she let herself in her room.

 _Did you really think it would be that easy?_

Of course she did. Why wouldn't she? She may not be experienced with the opposite sex, but she knew how to read signs. Severus was her keeper, but he cared for her in a way that superseded such duties. His only real job was the make sure she remained alive, but he did so much more than that. He spent time with her in Tom's perpetually empty house to keep her from feeling lonely. He revealed his past, his secrets to her to gain her trust. He undoubtedly _Imperio_ 'ed Wormtail from across the room at the Revel so she would not be forced to kill her stepfather. He stayed by her side every moment of her breakdown afterwards and then tried to get the Headmaster's help to save her from a life at Tom's mercy. Their magic was compatible on a level she hadn't known existed and he had given in to it, admitting the he did, indeed, care for her. Of course, throughout the course of it all, he was a snarky, acerbic, caustic bastard with a venomous tongue, but he always apologized one way or the other- whether it be with words or actions.

Not to mention that the one time she had mentioned Lily, had told him that if he still loved her he should leave, he remained exactly where he was. As if he was frozen, a statue. He had not moved at all.

What was she supposed to think?

Hermione let her head fall back against the closed door.

 _Lily_.

Her eyes narrowed at the ceiling as she thought back to the encounter with her. The woman was stunning, no question about it, and certainly a better match for Severus in that they had known each other for a long time and were the same age. But there was something else, something off…

And then she remembered.

As Lily had turned to leave the courtyard, she wiped her hands rather viciously on her robes. The hands that had held Severus' face. The moment she had crossed the stone archway, she had wiped her mouth on her sleeve.

As if she couldn't rid herself of him fast enough.

Hermione pounded her clenched fist on the door, grinding her teeth as the pieces clicked together. Lily didn't want him at all, she just didn't want anyone else to have him. She _liked_ that he was in love her, even when she felt nothing but contempt for him.

This vain, supercilious cow was the one Severus wanted? Seriously?

Indecision tore at her for a moment. There were two paths she could choose to follow now: march up to Severus' chambers and demand he speak to her so she could explain what she had seen and what Lily had said… or force Severus to be an adult and deal with the repercussions of his actions on his own.

It only took her a few fleeting seconds.

As she removed her thick cloak and boots, donning her nightclothes and plaiting her hair, Hermione decided that if Severus wanted to go panting after Lily for the rest of his life, she would let him. He was not a dog to be kept on a leash and she was not his owner. She had feelings for him, deep, somewhat terrifying feelings, but she refused to be his fail-safe, his back-up, his second choice. She would not sit around pining for him like the protagonist in some lovesick fairytale. Instead, she would keep a respectful distance. He had told her, over and over again, that he was her keeper and her professor. So she would act accordingly.

Even if the very idea broke her heart.

And oh, it did. It _did_.

The thought of never kissing him again… never touching his skin again… never seeing his eyes soften for her again…

She curled under the blankets and wrapped her arms around her torso.

Being with Severus was like riding one of the Muggle rollercoasters her parents had allowed when she was little. When things were good, it was exhilarating- like nothing could hurt her and she was invincible. But when things were not, it was utterly terrifying- like everything was spinning out of control and disaster was imminent.

As it turns out, disaster _had_ been imminent; it had just come in a slightly taller, more beautiful form than she originally anticipated.

Under the flicker of the candlelight, Hermione caught sight of a piece of parchment on her bedside table. She grabbed it, her fingers tightening when she realized it was his spiky handwriting.

 _-Unicorn hair_

 _(loose)_

 _-Black briar heart_

 _(only turn black under the full moon)_

 _-Root of elves ear_

 _(roots only mature during the full moon)_

 _-Eye of sabre cat_

 _(apothecary in Wales)_

 _-Histcarp_

 _(Black Lake)_

 _-Lavendar_

 _(Greenhouse 3)_

 _-Moon sugar_

 _(powdered moonstone, refined)_

 _-Unmelting snow_

 _(?)_

 _-Tears_

 _(unbidden, freely given- but from who? Friend? Lover? Family? Phoenix?)_

The list loosened the knot in her chest a little; it reminded her that there were more important things at the moment than her feelings for a certain acerbic prat. They had acquired three of the nine ingredients needed for her potion tonight. That was certainly a start.

Hermione put the list back down and flicked her wand to extinguish the sconces that lit her room. She fell asleep by candlelight, her dreams a confusing blur of obsidian, jade, and burnished copper.

x-x-x

The next day after Potions, Hermione hung back and waiting for everyone to leave the classroom. She did not notice the bespectacled eyes that followed her movements to the front of the room. Severus was already preparing for his next class when everyone was gone and she finally approached him.

"Professor Snape? I was wondering—"

"I have a class," he snapped. "Whatever it is can wait."

"Sir, I promise this will be quick. I just wanted to know if you would escort me to Tom's house tonight."

He continued writing up potion brewing instructions on the large chalkboard that dominated the right side of the room, "Why?"

"Well… because I assumed you wouldn't want me to go alone considering—"

He gave a long, dramatic sigh, " _Why_ do you need to go there?"

She fingered the parchment in her pocket, "I believe he may have a book that I—"

"Typical," Severus snorted. "We will go another time. I have a previous engagement tonight."

 _Come by Godric's Hollow sometime?_ _We can have dinner…_

She didn't want to ask, she really, really didn't. But she had to know. "Do you have rounds tonight, sir?"

"No."

The single word was like a kick straight to the abdomen. She had to resist clutching her chest. He was blowing her off for… _her_.

Fine.

Hermione shoved the parchment further down and steeled herself, "Another time, then. Have a nice night, Professor."

She was halfway down the hall before he cracked the chalk in half with his trembling fist.

x-x-x

It was much too late for her to be outside. Curfew was hours ago, but it didn't really matter. No one knew she resided within the castle anyway so they wouldn't be looking for her. Hermione was laying, Disillusioned, on a patch of grass near the Whomping Willow, arms behind her head, gazing up at the clear night sky.

He was probably with _her_ now.

And _she_ didn't even want him.

Her stomach roiled at the injustice.

There was a rustle of fabric and then warmth from someone's body heat as they sat next to her in the grass. Like before the fabric slid silently to the ground, revealing Harry Potter in a thick gray jumper and muggle jeans.

"Plan on hiding all night?" He asked softly.

Hermione rolled her eyes and _Finite_ 'd her Disillusionment charm, revealing her lying in the grass. "Why does it seem like you're always following me lately?"

Harry smirked, "Because I can't seem to talk to you any other way. I'm not exactly welcomed around Malfoy, Zabini, and Parkinson, you know. Besides, what reason could you possible give them for talking to me? You're supposed to be on the bad side, remember?"

She grimaced, "Fair point."

They were quiet for a long time as they both looked up at the stars. When Harry spoke again, his voice was serious, "You're working on something important for the Order, aren't you? Dumbledore won't tell us any specifics but… it's big, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Big enough to end the war?"

"Yes."

He pushed his glasses up his nose and his face darkened, "Can't say I won't be sorry when this is all over."

She contemplated something for a moment before deciding that it was now or never. He seemed to be interested in being civil to her so she should extend her own olive branch in return. Hermione pushed herself up, resting her arms on her knees as she looked at him, "I… I am so, so sorry about what happened to your dad, Harry."

Pain crossed his face for a brief moment before he softened a little, "Thanks. I… I heard about your mum as well. You two were close?"

Tears welled behind her eyes as she nodded.

He rested a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry for your loss, too."

A few tears dripped onto her lap before she realized and turned her face away for a moment to compose herself. If he noticed, he didn't say anything about it.

"I think he did it," Hermione admitted, her voice quiet. "The more I learn about him… the more he speaks of how important I am… the more I think he killed her."

Harry frowned and twirled his wand between his fingers, staring far into the night, "Is that why you came to Dumbledore?"

"No, I came because I didn't see any other way out. I didn't even begin to suspect about my mum until… after."

"After?"

Panic threatened to rear its ugly head and drag her under just like it had that night. Her hands shook but she forced herself to breathe, "After the Revel."

His fingers froze and he turned to look at her, "He forced you to go to one of those?"

She nodded.

He dragged his hand through his hair, "Wow. I knew he was… but I didn't really think he would… not to _you_." There was another moment of hesitant silence. "Did he force you to… hurt anyone?"

"He tried."

Harry let out a shaky breath, "Merlin."

This time, she couldn't prevent the tears and her words were choked, "He wanted me to kill my stepfather. They brought him before me and… and…" She turned to him, her eyes wide and beseeching. "I couldn't bring myself to do it. I swore I would never be like Tom. Please, you have to believe me, Harry. I am _nothing_ like him. _Nothing_."

"Hey, hey," he wrapped one arm around her and pulled her into a sort of half-hug, "I believe you, okay? Don't upset yourself worrying about what I think. I believe you, Hermione."

No one showed concern for her like this. No one gave her basic comfort and reassurance this way. Not even Severus- he cared, to be certain, but he did not express it so simply. She wasn't entirely sure he knew how. Everything she had been holding in for so long came rushing out. "He took both of my parents from me," she cried into his sweater, covering her mouth with her trembling hands. "He's tortured people right outside my bedroom door. I am his blood, his _only child_ and he is using me like a pawn in a chess game. The only person I can rely on is so… so complicated that I never know which side of him I'll be faced with that day. And everyone here is so suspicious of me all the time, like they think I'm going to _Crucio_ them just for breathing in my direction. And now I have to collect all of these ingredients to create this potion for the Order but I only have so much time to do it before Dumbledore feels I've outlived my usefulness and… and… and…"

Pained sobs wracked through her, over and over, even as she pressed her hands harder into her mouth to stifle them. Harry did not say anything, but he did not let her go either. So they sat in the cold grass, in front of the Whomping Willow under the sparkling night sky, with nothing but the sounds of her sobs between them. When she had calmed down enough that she was only sniffling, Harry let his arm drop but nudged her a little with his shoulder.

She gave a small smile.

"Feel better?" He asked.

"Much. Thank you."

He went back to twirling his wand, "During one of the last Order meetings, Dumbledore said that Snape took an Unbreakable Vow to Voldemort to protect you."

"He did."

"If that's his job, then why haven't you told him all of this? Won't he be in kind of a bad spot if you suddenly just collapse under the weight of it all?"

Hermione sighed, "He has enough to worry about without my whinging."

Harry furrowed his brow, confusion evident on his face, "Hermione, the things you're dealing with would break even the strongest of us. You shouldn't have to deal with all of this on your own."

She just shrugged.

He seemed lost in thought for a moment, "You said you're creating a potion for the Order, right?"

She cringed. Had she said that? Whoops. Figuring it was already too late, she nodded slightly.

"Do you need any help?"

It was impossible to hide her surprise, "What?"

He shrugged this time, "I know what it feels like to feel like you're all alone. Like no one else can be trusted to help or to understand. My entire fifth year felt like that. You obviously don't feel like you can go to Snape right now, so I'm offering to help in his stead. We are on the same side, after all."

Hermione was floored. She had never expected anything like this. She was prepared for civility, maybe a wisp of friendship, but nothing close to what he was offering. Did he understand the severity of the situation? The seriousness of her task?

Of course he did. He was the Chosen one.

"I would appreciate the help very much, Harry."

He whipped his Invisibility Cloak around his shoulders dramatically, rendering everything from his neck down invisible as he smirked. "Then it's settled. Where to first, Captain?"

"You are going to want to cover your head," she grinned. "Have you ever done Side-Along before?"

x-x-x

Hermione had her duplicated ingredient list in her pocket, charmed so that she was the only one who could read it, as she waited anxiously for Potions to end. During class, Severus had been his usual biting self, giving no indication that anything amiss had happened the previous night. He had even taken 5 points from her when she knocked her stirring rod against the side of her cauldron. The regression to his typical behavior gave her hope. Perhaps he would be more amenable to helping her today.

As everyone began packing up their things and heading for the door, Hermione made her way to his desk at the front of the room.

"What do you want, Miss Granger?" He snapped, not even looking up from the gradebook he was marking with vicious red slashes.

Ensuring they were alone, Hermione pulled the list from her pocket, tapped it with her wand, and laid it before him. "We have gathered three of the nine."

"Yes," he sneered. "I know how to count."

Refusing to be cowed by his biting manner, she continued, "I realize that, Professor. Most of these I can gather on my own but I wanted to ask you about the Unmelting Snow. I did some research and it seems like something that will require both of us to obtain."

"And where did you find information on Unmelting Snow, Miss Granger? I combed the entire library, Restricted Section included, and could not find a single reference."

She hesitated.

This caught his attention and he looked at her, brow raised, "Yes?"

Her voice was quiet, "Tom had a book that was fairly informative."

Exactly as she anticipated, Severus slammed his hands down on his desk, practically rocketing of his chair. His eyes were wild with rage, "You went _back there_? _Alone_? Are you trying to get yourself killed?! Do you have any idea what he plans to—"

She crossed her arms, "Well what was I supposed to do? We needed information and I found it. What does it matter where I got it from?"

His muscles became rigid as the seconds ticked by, realization dawning in his eyes, "How did you get there?"

Shite. Hermione desperately tried to think of something, some plausible explanation for how she made it to Tom's house without him. "I…"

His voice was low and deadly now, "I was out last night, Miss Granger. My office was warded against all intruders, yourself included. How. Did. You. Get. There?"

"Sev—Professor Snape, if you would just give me a moment to explain…"

It was too late. Those bottomless obsidian eyes trapped hers as he snarled, " _Legilimens_."

Hermione was a dab hand at Occlumency- she studied it in her free time because it was terribly interesting and she always felt that it was a useful skill to have. But she hadn't practiced in months and was woefully unprepared for the force of his entrance into her mind. She desperately tried to hide certain things from him but it didn't matter. He saw everything.

 _She cast a quick_ Muffliato _around them before turning to Harry, "Stay hidden under the cloak. The wards on this house will only allow me entrance but I will grab the book and come right back."_

 _His disembodied voice floated towards her, "What house? I don't see anything at all."_

 _She smirked, "_ Fidelius _charm."_

" _Ah, right," he hesitated. "Are you sure you'll be alright in there by yourself? What if he's…"_

" _He's not, I promise. I heard some of the Slytherins talking about a Revel tonight. He will be there instead."_

" _If you're sure…"_

" _I lived in this house for months, Harry. I will be just fine."_

She disappeared into the house and heard Severus snarling in her mind.

Hermione's thoughts were panicking.

 _Out. Out. Out._

 _Get him out._

 _Before he sees too much._

 _Before…_

He heard her thoughts. He knew there was something she didn't want him to see. So he pressed harder into her mind, determined to find out what it was she was hiding.

 _No… no… no… not that…_

She felt him stop at the memory outside of the Whomping Willow. She could actually feel his rage building as he watched Harry Potter holding her, comforting her, reassuring her. His anger flickered to something else when he watched her, heard her sobbing her confessions into Harry's chest, desperate to let everything out before she crumbled any more. But the blinding rage returned when Harry nudged her playfully and then offered to help her in any way she needed.

 _Please, Severus. Please, get out._ Her mind pleaded to him. _Please get out before it's too late_.

 _There's something else_ , he snarled in her thoughts. _You are hiding something else from me_.

She knew what he would see if he dug a little further and she fought it as hard as she could. She clawed at his mental presence, desperately trying to dislodge him and kick him out before he saw the truth. Before he saw what she saw.

He pushed harder. There it was.

Hermione could no longer fight it. The resignation hit her. Fuck.

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._

 _Her boots clicked against the stone floors as she grew closer and closer to the courtyard. She caught a pair of halted, hushed voices floating towards her on the light evening breeze. One of them was Severus, to be sure, but she could not identify the other, thought it was clearly female. She muffled her footsteps and crept stealthily along the myriad of stone archways that surrounded the courtyard until she was on the back side of the large fountain that adorned the middle of the space._

 _Severus was stunning under the moonlight; his skin almost glowing and his eyes alight in the dark. She had eyes only for him for he was an angel in the darkness. Her heart tripped over itself and her skin flushed just from looking at him. He said something and she watched his lips move, blushing. She remembered how those lips felt on hers, on her skin._

 _Merlin almighty, she was in deep for him._

 _It took a moment for her to realize that he was not alone. A woman stood in front of him, answering whatever it was he had said. Hermione crept along the outer archways a little further so she could see the woman's face. When she was able to properly see them both, she had to catch her breath. The woman was… exquisite. Long, glossy hair like burnished copper, eyes like Chinese Jade, skin like a perfect English peach. Tall, perfectly proportioned._

 _Beautiful beyond compare._

 _Everything Hermione was not._

 _Who_ was _this woman?_

 _Her voice was lyrical even in her anger, "I just don't get it, Sev. You're so much smarter than this!"_

 _Severus crossed his spectacular arms over his even more spectacular chest, "I am certain I have no idea what you mean."_

 _She threw her arms up in exasperation, "The girl is Voldemort's daughter. His only daughter. You can't possibly think he'd really let her turn to the Order so easily!"_

 _He looked away, towards where Hermione was hiding_.

 _"Sev," the woman reached up and turned his face back to her. Severus' cheeks reddened and it hit Hermione like a herd of Hippogriffs. He was… blushing. Because she touched him._

 _Hermione felt bile rising in the back of her throat. She brought a hand to her mouth._

 _He cleared his throat a little, "I assure you, Lily, I know what I am doing."_

 _Sweet Merlin, it was her. Lily._ Lily. _Gods, not_ her, _Hermione pleaded silently in her head. Please_ , _anyone but her._

 _The unattainable object of Severus' affections, the woman he had loved all his life, the one he had done everything for was even more stunning than Hermione had ever dared to imagine._ _Everything Severus said made sense now._

 _Of course she wasn't even remotely his type. Of course she was the opposite of everything he ever wanted. Of course he didn't want her to waste her affections on him._

 _She was nothing like this woman._ _She couldn't be; they were like night and day._

 _Hermione felt her heart breaking just a little._

 _Lily put her hands on her hips, "Do you? You're supposed to be her bodyguard- what do you think will happen to you if anyone in the Order hurts her? He'll kill you, Sev!"_

 _He seemed unconcerned, "We all must take risks in this war."_

 _She stamped her foot, "So you're just willing to throw your life away for this girl? What the hell, Sev? Do you have a thing for her or something?"_

" _That is enough," he growled. "She is a child."_

 _His words sliced her again and she bit her lip._

 _Lily eyed him critically, "A very pretty one."_

 _He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Lily…"_

 _She pulled his hand down and grabbed his face with both hands, "Look I'm sorry, okay? I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. I know you better than that. You'd never stoop that low."_

 _Of course it would be considered_ stooping low _when compared to this… walking glamour charm. That didn't make it hurt any less._

" _You just have to trust me, Lily," he said. "I am doing what is in the best interest of everyone. I would not have burdened the Order with the girl if I did not think she could be useful."_

 _There was that word again: burden._

 _Always a burden to him._

 _She smiled radiantly, gripping his large hand in both of hers, "Of course I trust you. You're the smartest one I know, Sev."_

 _He cleared his throat again, lowering his head a little, "Yes… well…"_

" _Come by Godric's Hollow sometime?" She asked, cocking her head. "We can have dinner one weekend when Dumbledore doesn't have you on rounds. We haven't had a chance to properly talk in ages."_

 _Come on, Severus. Hermione thought desperately, fists clenched. You know better. Tell her no. Tell her_ no _._

" _I…"_

" _Great!" Lily bounded up and pressed her lips to his lightly before turning to leave. "I'll take the Floo home. Safer, you know? Owl me when you want to have dinner!"_

 _Lily started walking to where she was now Disillusioned but Hermione was too wrapped up in what had just occurred to notice_ _Lily wiping her hands rather viciously on the fabric of her robes._ _She only vaguely registered the woman wiping her mouth on the sleeve._

 _The beautiful woman stopped just before her, tilting her head down in Hermione's direction, "Did you really think it would be that easy?"_

 _When she said nothing, Lily pretended to kneel down to tie her shoe. Her eyes, however, were fixed directly on where she sat. "Sev is like a mountain- constant, unyielding, unchanging."_

 _No. Hermione thought defiantly. You're wrong. He_ can _change, he_ has _changed. You just don't know him anymore. I don't think you ever really did._

 _Lily waved her hand towards her and the Disillusionment spell faded away. Hermione could not look away as the woman taunted her. "He's been in love with me since we were kids. Even after I married James. Even after I had Harry. Even now. Sev doesn't change. Not for you, not for anyone."_

 _She would not give this callous woman the satisfaction of a response. She refused._

 _The older woman stood, flipping her lovely hair like some errant teenager back over her shoulder, "You can't change a mountain, Hermione. You'll only hurt yourself trying."_

 _And then she was gone._

 _Her mind was reeling, thoughts tumbling around so fast she couldn't seem to get a grip on any of them. He couldn't still have feelings for that woman. There was no way. Not after the things they had been through, not after the way he kissed her, not after the things he said he felt. No, it simply wasn't possible. He wouldn't…_ use _her like that._

 _Right?_

 _Of course Lily was just taunting her, trying to distress and confuse her. Yes, that was it. It was just a mind game._

 _Hermione straightened herself and turned to the courtyard but found herself halted yet again. Severus was still standing there, completely still as if carved from granite, with his fingertips pressed to his lips._

 _Her heart broke the rest of the way._

 _He_ did _still love her._

 _She was such a fucking fool._

"GET OUT!" Hermione screamed, physically shoving Severus back with all her strength.

He blinked as he was forced out of her mind, his eyes wide with shock.

She was openly sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks even as she panted and braced herself against the desk. A steady stream of blood trickled from her nose.

"You were there," he said, barely above a whisper. It took a moment but he reached for her. "Hermione, I—"

She stumbled back from him, out of his reach, "Keep your hands off of me."

He flinched, his eyes clouded with confusion, "I… I had no idea that she was so… manipulative. I never imagined…"

Hermione covered her mouth with her hand.

His brow furrowed, "It was as though she thought touching me made her… dirty."

"And this is the woman you want?" She managed through her tears. "One who feels disgust when she touches you?"

That brought him back. For the first time, it was like he was seeing her clearly. His eyes softened and his expression shifted to one of remorse when he looked at her, "Hermione, I am so—"

She cut him off, "Is that where you went last night? To her?"

"At first, yes," he admitted. "But I also had a meeting with Luc-, ah, one of my friends to discuss your father. I promise, I did not spend all evening with her."

"Why did you even go to her at all? Why not just meet your friend?"

His cheeks flushed, "I... I just... well, I thought she... I..."

"I came to you for help!" She cried, furious. "I came to you so we could get the book I needed for the potion. _The potion that came from the Arithmancy equation that I created for YOU!_ "

Severus stopped with wide eyes, "What?"

Hermione wrapped her arms around herself, "You think I give a single _shite_ about what happens to the rest of the Death Eaters out there? To the ones that delight in torture and rape and murder? I knew that Tom punished you often, sometimes for things that were not your fault. I wanted to help you, to make it easier for you. I WANTED TO HELP YOU, YOU _FUCKING_ BASTARD. AND YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME FOR A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOU."

"I had no idea…" He whispered, his voice pained. "Hermione, I don't deserve—"

"You are absolutely right," she agreed softly. "You don't."

He recoiled as if she had slapped him.

A myriad of voices could be heard coming closer in the hall. His next class was approaching.

Hermione cast a quick glamour over her face and straightened her robes, "We'll discuss the book another time. I just... I need some time to gather my thoughts."

With that, she disappeared into the hall full of students.

She never looked back, not once, afraid to see a look of pity on his face.

Or worse, heartbreak.

Hermione would not let him walk all over her anymore. No matter how much she ached for him.


	11. Reparo

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: You know the drill. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, I don't.**

* * *

11\. _Reparo_

 _The sun was high in the sky, bathing the lush, green grass in its golden warmth. The light breeze ruffled her curls and she sighed in relaxed pleasure as the Whomping Willow shook out its branches just ahead. It was so peaceful here, with only the wind and soft chirping of birds to break the silence._

 _Fingers grazed her temple and she turned her head, smiling._

" _I was wondering if you were going to come."_

 _His profile was sharp and his colors dark, a harsh contrast against the soft, warm glow of daylight, "I was… unsure if my presence would be welcome."_

 _She chuckled, turning her face back to the sun._

 _His fingers danced along her bare forearms, "You perplex me, witch."_

" _Oh? Do tell."_

 _She cracked one eye open slightly to see he was, as she correctly assumed, frowning down at her, "I hurt you… I_ keep _hurting you… and yet, you are always prepared to forgive me. I do not understand you at all."_

" _Mmm," she said noncommittally, eyes slipping shut again._

" _You are too forgiving," he chided softly._

" _Maybe. Maybe not."_

 _It was silent for a long time, "Lily was never quite as forgiving."_

" _I am not Lily."_

 _His voice was warm and affectionate as he brushed a few stray curls back from her face, "No, you most certainly are not."_

 _Hermione turned her head to look at him again, "Does that disappoint you?"_

 _Severus thought for a moment before he smiled softly, "No."_

" _Good," she stretched languidly across the pillowy grass. "I am quite certain I would not win_ that _competition."_

 _The next thing she felt were cool lips against her temple, "There is no competition, Hermione. You outshine her in every way."_

 _She snorted rather inelegantly as she pushed herself up to rest on her elbows, "I have eyes, Severus. And working ears as well."_

 _His fingers wound in her curls as his lips moved along her jawline, "Elaborate, if you please."_

 _She pushed his shoulder so he would stop. He looked up, confusion evident on his face. Her eyebrow lifted as she did a comical imitation of his voice, "You are not even remotely my type," she quoted. "Your hair, your skin, your eyes- all wrong. Everything about you is the opposite of anything I would ever want._ _So do not waste your ridiculous schoolgirl fantasies on me, Miss Granger. I assure you, you will be nothing but disappointed."_

 _He cupped her cheek, his thumb swiping across her high cheekbones, "How I continually manage to fool both your father and the Headmaster is a mystery to me. I am an abysmal liar."_

 _She gently removed his hand from her face, "You don't need to placate me, Severus. I promise, I understand."_

" _For fear of another miscommunication, which you and I seem quite fond of, I must insist that you explain yourself."_

 _Hermione sat up but avoided his piercing gaze, "She and I… we're polar opposites. It makes sense that I wouldn't appeal to you if_ that _is your standard. She is… quite lovely. I must admit, had I known that_ that _was what I was working against, I may have worked harder to keep how I felt to myself rather than embarrass myself at every opportunity."_

 _In quite the uncharacteristic move, Severus shuffled around until he was kneeling in the small space between her bent knees, his billowing robes fluttering behind him in the breeze. He took her face into his hands and forced her to look at him, "Why do you see yourself that way? Why do you think you're not…" He ground his teeth in frustration, his grip tightening on her jaw. "Tell me why."_

 _Her vision blurred a little as she whispered, "Just look at me."_

" _I am and I still do not understand."_

 _She wanted to look away, she tried, be he would not relent. Her stomach twisted as she felt herself practically vomit her deeply-hidden insecurities, "I'm completely average… boring… plain. I honestly can't be bothered with the owl's nest that passes for my hair and I just don't give a shite about makeup and frivolous vanities. I would rather spend my time studying or reading. There is nothing special about me at all. No one has ever noticed me before, why would they now? Why would_ you _?"_

 _Severus let out a huff of air, like a humorless laugh, as he shook his head in disbelief, "Plain. Boring._ Nothing special _."_

 _She lowered her eyes but he raised her a chin a little more so she would continue to look at him._

" _For someone so intelligent, you are exceptionally fucking blind."_

" _Severus…"_

" _No," he snapped. "Listen to me, Hermione. Really_ listen _. You are absolutely correct: you and Lily are nothing alike." She began to recoil from him but he simply held her face tighter, his bottomless obsidian eyes boring into hers. "No,_ listen _damn it. You are nothing alike, but I would not want you to be. I have been… blinded for so many years and it took seeing things through your mind, through your memories to really understand. That first time, when you asked if I was still in love with her, I was not lying. I knew I wasn't; that had ended a long time ago. But when she followed me back to Hogwarts, when she acted that way with me, it felt… comfortable for me to slip back into the way things had always been. You must understand something about me, Hermione; I am a man who has no qualms about taking risks with my life but am much more reticent about taking risks with my heart. Love, or rather, the few fleeting glimpses I have had of it throughout my life, has always,_ always _caused me pain. Each and every time. With my parents, with my friends, with Lily. So when you developed an… affection for me, I panicked. When I panic, I try to defend myself. I tried to hurt you so you wouldn't feel those things for me because…" Severus paused, his eyes searching hers. "Because it is absolutely terrifying for me, Hermione."_

 _She could feel her will crumbling and she bit her lip._

 _He ran the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip to free it from her teeth, "With Lily, there is no risk. She will never feel anything but contempt for me, so anything I feel is safe. With you… it's not that simple. With you, there are… possibilities. And with possibilities, there is a risk of pain."_

 _She touched her fingers to his large, slender hands, "I would never hurt you, Severus."_

 _He sighed, "You are so young, Hermione. So lovely and intelligent. You could have anyone in the world you wanted. Within these walls, within this war, I may be what you want. But what about after? If there is one thing you can take from what Lily said, it is that I'm constant. It took me years to let go of her, and that was without her returning anything I felt. With you… how could I ever move on? After knowing your mind, knowing the way you see me and want me, how could I ever let you go?"_

" _Why does everything come down to my age? You have been inside my mind, albeit without permission," Hermione eyed him with brief annoyance. "You have seen how I think, how I feel. Does it seem like I'm inconsistent to you?"_

 _He watched her face for a very long time before he finally whispered, "No."_

 _She gripped one of his wrists, "Do you still feel anything for her?"_

 _His answer was concise, "No."_

 _"Do you…" She paused, considering her words very carefully. She needed answers, but she did not want to push him. He confessed much to her already, she did not want to force anything from him that he was not ready for. "Do you want_ me _to let_ you _go?"_

 _A muscle twitched in his jaw and his eyes pinched shut as he dragged in a few deep breaths through his nose. When he finally looked at her again, his voice was barely audible but his eyes were wide and achingly vulnerable, "Never."_

 _She lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a fierce embrace, "Then let me be here and for Merlin's sake, stop pushing me away." Her voice was choked. "I'm not made of stone, you insufferable man."_

 _His arms wrapped around her waist and he buried his face into the curve of her shoulder, "You deserve someone so much better than me, someone who knows how to be kind and… normal. But I am entirely too selfish to give you up."_

 _Hermione managed a watery laugh, "Thank the Gods for_ that _. I have always thought 'normal' guys were overrated, anyway. I much prefer snarky, acerbic prats with hair-trigger tempers and impulsivity problems."_

" _Were I being responsible, I would take you to have your head examined at St. Mungo's, but I am rather afraid of what they might find."_

 _She swatted his back, "Git."_

 _His response was much softer, but full of affection as he gripped her tighter in his arms, "Yours."_

 _Hermione pressed a gentle kiss to the sharp curve of his jaw, "Undoubtedly."_

 _Severus let out a soft chuckle, "Your father has no idea what he's done."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _He held her waist with one hand and traced the features of her face with the other, "Before… when it was just an Unbreakable Vow binding us, I was prepared to do what was necessary to ensure your survival- even if that meant sacrificing my own life. But now…" His fingers paused at her lips as he watched her. "It is so much more. Now, I want to be here when the war ends… with you. And I will do whatever I have to in order for that to happen."_

 _Hermione smiled, "Then we will make it so."_

 _He smiled back, the expression in his eyes still raw and exposed, "Yes, we will."_

 _Finally, he kissed her._

 _Without raw magic or jealousy._

 _Because they belonged to each other._

x-x-x

Hermione awoke slowly, opening her eyes just in time to see the door to her room silently click closed. After casting a quick _Tempus_ charm to determine it was half past three in the morning, she buried her face back into her pillow and pulled her blanket tighter around her body.

Only it wasn't her blanket at all.

It was a large, thick, black wool robe.

One that typically billowed behind its surly owner.

She smiled to herself as she burrowed deeper into the bed and quickly fell back asleep surrounded by the smell of sandalwood, honey, and rosemary.

Her lips still tingled.


	12. Harmonia Nectere Passus

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yep, it's always the same. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything related to it.**

* * *

12\. _Harmonia Nectere Passus_

"Do you think he'll tell them tonight?"

Severus shook his head as he grabbed his thick travelling cloak, "No. The Headmaster would not want to take a risk like that without having the potion in hand."

"Then why the meeting?"

He frowned as he clasped the decadent fabric across his throat, "I believe he intends to ask the Order about hypothetical scenarios in which the potion, were it to actually exist, may work on a massive scale."

Hermione rubbed her temples, "Merlin have mercy."

He chuckled slightly, pressing his lips to her curls, "I know. It gives me a headache as well."

"He is heavily relying on it then," she sighed quietly.

Severus' voice was gentle and sympathetic, "Yes… I'm afraid he is hedging all of his bets on it now."

She rose from the brown leather couch, "No time to waste, then."

"I am not sure when the meeting will end, Hermione," he admitted. "It may be very late. We can gather the ingredients tomorrow evening."

She waved him off, pulling her shoes on, "No need. Harry promised to help me with them tonight, seeing as the younger members were not invited to the meeting. We should have almost all of them by tomorrow."

It was impossible to miss how the air in the room suddenly grew thick with tension. Hermione turned to see Severus with his fists clenched at his sides, a telltale muscle in his jaw ticking. His eyes were hard. "I was unaware of your plans," he ground out through clenched teeth.

She rolled her eyes, "After your little unauthorized foray into my mind, I was under the impression that you understood Harry would be helping me with this."

"I assumed—"

"You cannot be everywhere, Severus," Hermione interrupted, hands on her hips indignantly. "You have students to teach, assignments to grade, and two masters to obey. I cannot keep monopolizing all of your time, it's simply not practical considering how quickly we have to get this done. Most of the remaining ingredients should be simple enough to collect. I have already ordered the Eye of Sabre Cat from the apothecary in Wales and when you come back, we will work on a plan for the Unmelting Snow. Otherwise, I just need the Histcarp, lavender, moon sugar, and tears. If nothing else, Harry and I can get the Histcarp and lavender tonight. If we're lucky, we may even find some moonstone. That would only leave you and I with the tears and the Unmelting Snow."

He did not look appeased.

She grabbed one of his large hands and gazed up at him, "We need all the help we can get, Severus. You know we do. We are taking an enormous risk with this entire thing; why not make it at least a little easier on ourselves?"

"I do not trust him," he growled.

"Why? Is it because of who he is? Or because of who his mother is?"

"Both."

"I am not Lily, Severus," Hermione stepped closer to him. "I will not abandon you just because a Potter with decent bone structure looks my way."

Severus' eyes flashed with fire, "He has decent bone structure, does he?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" She burst out laughing. "You are a grown man, Severus. Can you please act like it and not like a petulant child who's been asked to share his toys?"

He had the decency to look slightly abashed, "I know, I know. I just…"

"Severus," Hermione grabbed his face. "Do you trust me?"

Although it seemed to physically pain him to do so, he nodded.

She kissed him softly, her lips brushing against his, "Then go to your meeting. We'll both be in one piece when you get back and, hopefully, we will have some ingredients to show for it. Alright?"

He sighed and pulled her against him to press his mouth more firmly against hers, "Fine. But you have my express permission to hex, curse, or otherwise maim him if you feel it necessary in my absence."

"Duly noted. Now _go_. Send me your patronus when you get back so I know you've returned."

Severus nodded and disappeared into the flames of the Floo.

x-x-x

Harry adjusted his glasses as he read over the duplicated list that Hermione handed him.

"You already have the first three?" He asked, his voice low.

She nodded, pulling her cloak tighter around her in the chilly November air, "We should be able to get two, if not three more, tonight."

He handed the parchment back to her, "Greenhouse first, then?"

Hermione looked out across the grounds and the greenhouse was, indeed, much closer at the moment, "Black Lake after?"

"Whatever you say, boss."

She snorted, "Shut up and put on your cloak."

After she was Disillusioned and Harry was under his Invisibility Cloak, they made their way in silence across the lawn towards the greenhouse with the large number '3' charmed to hover above it. Once they broke through the almost rudimentary wards on the door, they removed their respective concealing methods and began to search for the enchanted lavender that never wilted.

Hermione heard Harry's voice from the other end of the greenhouse, "Tell me about your parents, 'Mione."

Thankful that she'd had the forethought to cast a silencing charm over the greenhouse, Hermione grimaced at the atrocious shortening of her name, "Is that to be my nickname, then?"

"Seems right since we're friends and all."

She groaned, "I hate it, you know."

He laughed, "Good! That's how you know I picked a good one."

In the dim light from her purposefully muted _Lumos_ , Hermione did not notice the large plantar box on the ground before tripping over it. "Shite," she hissed, rubbing the knee she scraped.

"You okay?" He called.

"Yes, I just…" She then noticed the radiant purple buds swaying in an imaginary breeze just beyond her foot. "I found them!"

Harry's trainers scuffed across the floor of the greenhouse until he came to her slumped form on the ground. He stifled a laugh behind his hand, "Looks like you managed to get a fanged geranium caught in your hair, too."

Hermione felt around to the back of her head and found a rather put out fanged geranium tangled in her curls. She was just lucky it was still half asleep, otherwise it would probably be tearing chunks of hair out by now. She sighed and gestured towards the lavender, "Would you mind? I have to try and get this out."

He nodded, still snickering slightly as he bent down to start delicately slicing the lavender stalks where they met the potted soil. As he worked, Hermione waved her wand towards the back of her head, over and over, untangling the plant's sharp jaws little by little.

"You never answered me," he said suddenly, his concentration firmly on the slim green stalks. "I want to know what your parents were like."

Her hands trembled slightly but she forced herself to remain composed as the plant was almost completely free from her hair, "They were amazing. Very loving, supportive, understanding. No matter what anyone says about them, I was very lucky."

Harry frowned at her, "Why would anyone say anything bad about them?"

Without even thinking, she shrugged, "They were muggles. You know how things are right now. Especially in Slytherin."

It didn't occur to her that she had said anything out of the ordinary until she set the now freed fanged geranium aside to see Harry gaping at her.

For a long time, they stared at each other in shocked silence.

"Your mum was a muggle…" He said, blinking slowly. "You're a half-blood."

It was too late to take it back.

"Voldemort… Voldemort had a baby with a _muggle_."

She didn't know what to say. No one was supposed to know.

Her heart hammered painfully.

Harry dropped the lavender stalks into the woven bag Hermione had given him before he sat back on his heels and looked at her, "His entire rallying point is pureblood supremacy. And he had a baby with a muggle."

"Harry, please…"

He let out a startled laugh as he handed her the bag now full of enchanted lavender, "I don't know why but… that makes him seem much less frightening. To know that his entire ideology is based on a lie. He probably isn't a pureblood either, is he?"

Hermione bit her lip, "I…"

"He can't be," he continued. "If he was, he would never have let himself… with a muggle woman."

"Harry," she gripped his shoulder tightly, searching his face. "Please. You can't tell _anyone_. No one else is supposed to know about this. He thinks I'm the only one who knows and if it were to get out…"

Understanding dawned in his eyes, "He'd kill you."

Her heart twisted and she nodded.

"Sorry, sorry," Harry gave her a small smile. "I wasn't prying for information, I swear. I won't tell anyone. You have my word."

She let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, "Thank you."

x-x-x

After making themselves invisible again and reinstating the wards on the greenhouse, they started towards the eerily still water of the Black Lake.

"Your parents didn't mind that you're a witch?"

"No. They were very supportive from the day I got my letter. My… my mum already knew about the magical world due to… to her time with Tom," she cleared her throat. "But Wendell was almost more excited than she was. He always wanted me to practice my spells on him, even after mum tried to explain why that might not be the best idea."

He chuckled softly, "He sounds so cool."

Her lips quirked a little, "He was. They were both amazing. Every summer, when I came home from Beuxbatons, we would go camping in Gloucestershire."

"The Forest of Dean?"

Hermione went to look at him before she remembered they were both invisible, "Yes! How did you know?"

Harry's voice was warm, "Mum takes me camping there sometimes, too."

She forced away the dark roiling in her gut that came from speaking of his manipulative mother, "No magic?"

He chuckled, "I never said _that_."

Hermione huffed, "That's not camping, then. That's _cheating_."

He managed to shove her a little with his shoulder, "Hey, some of us don't know how to camp without magic!"

She just grinned under her Disillusionment charm.

They reached the edge of the Black Lake then and revealed themselves. Hermione fingered the parchment in her pocket, eyeing the water thoughtfully.

The library had material on the Histcarp and where they were located, but…

"Are we going in sometime today?"

She whacked his arm in reproach, "I am _trying_ to decide the best way to proceed, thank you very much. The Histcarp will be at the very bottom of the lake, swimming along the mud and rocks. Breathing and seeing should not be an issue as long as we each have a Bubble-Head charm cast in tandem with a _Lumos_ around it but…"

The sharp November wind whipped around them in response and they both shivered violently.

"I don't know how effective warming charms are going to be in there," Harry finished for her as he knelt down and stuck his fingers in the water for a brief second. "Shite, it's freezing!"

She chewed the inside of her cheek. There had to be a way. There had to be _something_ that would help their bodies fight of the inevitable hypothermia…

The muggle part of her brain kicked in and she snapped her fingers, "That's it! I cannot believe I never thought of it before."

Harry eyed her warily, "You have a way for us to swim to the bottom without freezing to death?"

Hermione snorted, "Just take off your cloak and remove everything from your pockets."

He seemed hesitant but when he noticed that she was already emptying her pockets and leaving everything on the grass, he followed suit.

When they were finished, Hermione pointed her wand at him, "Stay still, please. I am fairly good at transfiguration but I need concentration."

Harry didn't dare move a muscle.

She waved her wand in an intricate pattern, moving slowly from his shoulders all the way down to his toes. The fabric of his clothes shifted and morphed from cotton and polyester and wool to a single, tight layer of black neoprene. Hermione repeated the motions on herself until her clothes had mutated into the same tight material.

Harry tugged at the odd material uncomfortably, "What the bloody hell is this? And does it have to be so _tight_?"

She rolled her eyes and slid her wand into the tiny open space at her neck, "Yes it does. The muggles call this a wetsuit. Their divers wear it to prevent, as you so eloquently put it, freezing to death during deep dives in exceptionally cold water. Our warming charms might be useless in there, but this suit should do the trick if we are quick."

He slid his wand into his suit at the neckline just as she had done, "If you say so."

They stepped up to the very edge of the water but Hermione put her hand on Harry's arm to stop him from entering the Lake just yet, "Each potion will need one Histcarp. We should try to get ten to be safe but…" She took a deep breath. "We have no idea what we may find down there. The history books on Hogwarts were frustratingly sparse on the subject of creatures within the Black Lake. We might not be able to stay together down there, either. If we get separated or we run into any sort of trouble that we cannot handle—"

" _Ascendio_?"

She nodded, "As fast as you can possibly cast it. Better to break a bone or two landing on the bank than drowning. Besides, we can always come back another night if we need to."

"But… it's possible that if we did that, whatever is down there might be even more hostile with us."

"I know. Which is why we should try to get all ten now if we can."

Harry squeezed the hand she held on his arm before they both turned to the still, black water that looked like glass under the moonlight.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

They cast their _Lumos_ 'ed Bubble-Head charms and dove in.

x-x-x

The initial descent was silent and peaceful. It was the middle of the night so most the creatures were, presumably, asleep. Hermione and Harry swam, side by side, further and further down into the inky blackness of the Black Lake. Thankfully, the wetsuits kept them warm enough to ward off hypothermia and the soft _Lumos_ that surrounded their Bubble-Head charms allowed them a short span of visibility a few inches in front of their faces. It wasn't much, but it would have to do.

There was another few minutes of uneventful swimming until the water began to ripple around them.

They both stopped and looked at each other, their expressions clearly communicating what they were thinking.

Something was circling them.

Or rather, many somethings were circling them.

Hermione inclined her head down and grabbed Harry's hand, forcing them to keep heading towards the bottom.

Thankfully, they made it to the muddy sediment that made up the bottom of the lake. In the impenetrable darkness, illuminated only by the scant glow of their respective _Lumos_ charms, swam hundreds of tiny gold and black scaled fish with snowy white underbellies.

Histcarp.

Hermione nudged Harry's shoulder and removed her wand from her neckline, pointing at the fish who swam lazily nearby. Clearly, they were not disturbed by humans often. She cast a quick, nonverbal succession of three _Stupefies_ and scooped the three stunned fish into the soft mesh bag she had shoved into the conjured pocket of her wetsuit. Harry followed suit, stunning three more for her to grab.

Things promptly went pear-shaped then.

Turns out the many somethings that had been circling them were Grindylows and, as it happens, they apparently did not appreciate the harvesting of what could only be assumed to be their primary food source. The Grindylows shimmered as they slowly crept closer, their scales a dark forest green in the pale light. They bared their pointy, jagged fangs at them both and a few of them even bent their heads in order to threaten them with their piercing horns. Hermione felt Harry tense beside her as some of the Grindylows reached for them with long, spindly fingers.

Then she remembered.

Harry was not terribly gifted at nonverbal magic. He could perform the basics, he had told her, but nothing super complex. How had she overlooked that?

As always, it was simple; she hadn't really thought they would need anything serious down here.

Gods damn it all.

She whipped her head around just to confirm what she already knew. They were surrounded and the Grindylows were coming closer.

And they looked seriously pissed off.

Hermione grabbed Harry, yanking him in somewhat of a rough embrace as she cast a nonverbal _Protego_ around them both. The Grindylows screeched in fury and tried to attack them but they bounced back off the shield charm, which seemed to only anger them further. Harry slashed his wand around them in an arc and she could see him mouth _Confundus_ inside of his Bubble-Head charm. The Grindylows in their immediate vicinity blinked slowly and went floating aimlessly in circles into the dark. The ones on the outer ring lurched forward, scarlet eyes blazing as they clawed at them.

Hermione's _Protego_ faltered under the onslaught of claws and teeth and horns and she let out a silent scream as one of them pierced clean through her thigh with its brittle horn. Blood pulsed from her wound in time with her heartbeat and Harry looked frantic as the soft light of their respective _Lumos_ charms went red. Hermione shoved him up towards the surface, mouthing ' _Go!_ ' He hesitated but before he could do anything else, Hermione cast the strongest _Immobulus_ she could at the attacking Grindylows and then shoved her wand directly into Harry's chest and mouthed ' _Ascendio Maxima'_. His eyes were panicked but he went rocketing upwards into the dark water.

Her _Immobulus_ had, luckily, immobilized a few more Histcarp in the immediate area so Hermione added them to her mesh bag quickly before turning towards the surface with her wand raised. She was just about to cast the spell when a glimmer, like opal in firelight, caught her eye. A few feet away, under a thin layer of sediment, was a thick slab of moonstone.

Pure, untouched moonstone that she could refine and powder herself.

Much more potent than anything she could ever purchase.

Her thoughts raced. She knew it was only a matter of seconds before the spells wore off and the Grindylows attacked again but she needed that moonstone. She knew she couldn't leave without it.

Not now that she knew it existed and it was so close…

Desperately trying to ignore the searing agony in her thigh, Hermione swam the short distance to the moonstone, brushed it off, and pulled it from the mud. It was lighter than she anticipated, solid but no heavier than her thinnest textbook. She pulled the slab to her chest and raised her wand above her head.

Only to have it knocked from her grasp.

The Grindylows, no longer stunned or immobilized or confused, lunged at her, teeth gnashing and claws thrashing to gain purchase in her skin. She managed to knock a few of them away with the slab of moonstone before she felt razor-sharp teeth tear into her shoulder. In her distraction, a pair of shale-like talons gouged the flesh of her face and neck. She was blinded by all the blood now; her Bubble-Head charm was surrounded by a wall of impenetrable red for a brief moment before it broke completely. Her raw magic came roaring to life in order to protect her from drowning and she felt it surge into her wand hand as she thought _Accio wand!_ as vehemently as she could. Her wand came smacking into her palm and she thrust it above her, gripping the mesh bag and the moonstone tightly as her thoughts screamed _Ascendio! Ascendio Maxima!_

Her body went barreling upwards through the water until she broke through the surface and landed, hard, on the bank.

"'Mione!"

Her vision swam and her fingers went slack from the bag and the slab. Her breathing was shallow from the blood loss but through the fuzzy spots in her vision, she could see Harry panicking above her.

"Oh Gods, oh Gods, oh Gods. Why did you do that?!" He was waving his wand wildly over her, casting warming charms and stasis charms and whatever else he could think of that might help. "You weren't this bad before- what happened? Shite. _Shite!_ I don't know how to heal this! The wounds aren't… they're not closing, 'Mione! It must be the Grindylows. Fucking Hell, _I don't know what to do_! Why weren't you right behind me?!"

She tilted her swimming head towards the shimmering moonstone slab that glowed with ethereal iridescence under the moonlight.

"Moonstone? _That's_ why you stayed down there? Merlin's fucking balls, 'Mione, you could just buy that!"

"Not… as… strong…"

His hands trembled above her, "Tell me what to do, 'Mione. I… I don't know how to make it better. I don't know how to heal these."

"S… Sev…'rus…" She managed.

He nodded wildly, his wet hair falling into his eyes, "Okay. Okay, I can get him. I can do that. Just hang on, okay 'Mione?" Harry cast a wobbly patronus, a wispy silver stag, and his voice wavered as he spoke to it. "P… Professor Snape, it's Hermione. She… she's hurt. Please, come to the Black Lake quickly."

The stag scampered away into the night. Not five minutes later was there a gunshot like crack of Apparition just behind Harry. Her friend was shoved backwards and she was left staring up into wide, unblinking obsidian eyes.

Obsidian eyes that were furious and terrified all at the same time.

" _What the fuck happened?_ " He snarled at Harry, even as he knelt down and took out his wand. "She assured me you would both come back in one piece! She assured me you two could handle this!"

"It was the Grindylows, sir," Harry stammered, his face ghostly white. "There were so many of them and they just… they attacked us when we took the fish. We stunned them but…"

He began to wave his wand over her bleeding thigh as he chanted, " _Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur…_ "

Once the gaping hole in her thigh was knitted shut and healing, Severus gently rolled Hermione to her side and began to mend to ragged edges of her shoulder that had been torn away by the Grindylow's teeth. "But _what_ , Potter? _Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur… Vulnera Sanentur…_ "

"We had them confunded and immobilized but… there were too many of them. They just kept coming at us, more and more of them. She… she sent me to the surface before they could get to me. Sir… I think she saved my life."

His head whipped around, his eyes blazing, "Why did she not follow after you? Why did you just _leave_ her there?"

Harry paled even further, "I… I thought she would be right behind me. She… she stayed under for that," he pointed to the angelic-looking stone slab on the grass beside her lax fingers. "She said it was more powerful if she did it herself."

Hermione could tell he wanted to make a disparaging comment but for the first time, he really looked at the wounds on her upper body. His eyes widened even further.

" _Fuck_ ," Severus roughly shoved his shaking hand through his hair. "They… they clawed her."

"P… professor?"

" _GODS FUCKING DAMN IT_!" Severus roared, blasting one of the boulders further down the bank in frustration before he let out a shaky breath. "What have you done, you foolish girl?"

Harry fell to his knees beside her, "Can't you heal her, Professor? You… You stopped the bleeding everywhere else…"

Severus let his hair fall in front of his face as he gripped Hermione's feverish hand and pulled her into his arms, readying himself to Apparate, "Grindylows have a very specific, magic resistant poison in their claws, Potter. Her other wounds were from their teeth and their horns. There is no magic that can do anything for these. I have to take her. The only thing that could possibly help would be—"

Overhead, there came a long, almost mournful birdsong. Severus' and Harry's heads snapped up and Hermione could see a brilliant streak of crimson, vermilion, and canary yellow against the night sky. Fawkes, the Headmaster's Phoenix, came swooping down to the bank that was now soaked in her blood and he perched himself on Hermione's abdomen, looking down at her with a glint in his somber eyes. She'd lost too much blood to move so instead she simply let her eyes follow him as he bent his head over her neck and let three thick, glittering slate-colored tears drip into the gouges that were pulsing blood there. He nudged her jaw affectionately before dripping three more tears into the deep scores on her cheek.

She could feel the warmth of the Phoenix's healing magic washing over her like a blanket of safety and security.

 _Please. Please. Just a few more…_

The last thing she remembered before being swallowed by unconsciousness was Fawkes perched on Severus' trembling shoulder, a few more of his tears sliding into a small glass vial as Severus cried a few tears of his own.


	13. Expelliarmus

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've said it once, I'll say it again. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and everything in its lovely universe.**

* * *

13\. _Expelliarmus_

There was no pain.

No worry, no potions ingredients, no megalomaniacs, no scheming women.

Just all-encompassing warmth and comfort.

Somewhere, in the far reaches of her dormant brain, Hermione assumed that she was most likely unconscious. But it didn't matter, really. Why would it? Everything here was so lovely: all fluffy clouds and fleeting feathers and fluttering wings. Nothing mattered right now.

Honestly? She could stay here forever.

 _… so sorry for everything. Forgive me, forgive me…_

What was that? Was someone speaking to her? What were they saying?

 _…never should have… promise, never again…_

Even submerged in the comforting embrace of her unconscious mind, Hermione would know that voice. She would know that voice if she were dead.

 _…so proud. You were brilliant, do you hear me? Brilliant…_

He sounded sad… heartbroken. Why was he so upset? She tried to remember but the memories trudged like molasses across her mind. There were flashes of shimmering scales and lungfuls of icy water and wide emerald eyes and a streak across the twinkling sky.

Forest green. Muted black. Scarlet. Indigo. Emerald. Obsidian. Crimson—vermilion—canary. Slate.

What happened? Was she hurt?

 _…thought you were going to die…_

… _felt like I was dying with you..._

 _...so fucking scared…_

… _be right here when you wake up…_

Hermione tried to focus on him, tried to bring herself to the surface of her consciousness so she could reassure him. She felt fine; better than fine, actually. She could scarcely remember a time when she felt better than she did right now. He had no reason to be so upset. His hoarse, desperate voice cut her like a knife and she just wanted it to stop. She never wanted to hear him sound like that again.

She clawed towards the faint light she could see in the sky, pulling herself upwards slowly. It was exceedingly difficult, like climbing through quicksand that just kept sucking at her legs and trying to drag her back down. There was no denying that it was comfortable here but Severus needed her. He was hurting and she needed to make it better.

 _…so damn much it terrifies me…_

 _…will never let anything happen to you ever again…_

 _…love you… Hermione…_

Her hands slipped and she went tumbling back down, down, down into the soft, pillowy embrace of unconsciousness. She let it envelope her again.

There would be no more fighting it today.

x-x-x

Hermione found herself nuzzling the pillow like a cat, determined to immerse herself in the intoxicating fragrance of sandalwood, honey, and rosemary. That was odd; she didn't remember her pillow smelling that way. Come to think of it, she didn't remember the blankets being such a heavy, velvety material either. Much as she didn't want to, she cracked open here bleary eyes to discover that she was not in her room at all.

In fact, she had never seen this bedroom before.

She was ensconced in a sea of velvet and silk in the middle of a monstrous, elegant four-poster carved entirely from warm, cherry wood. The sconces on the wall burned low, as did the fire still quietly crackling in the hearth across the room. Directly to her left was a large, green and gold brocade armchair.

Which was occupied by a much disheveled, exhausted-looking Severus Snape whose head was resting at an odd angle, causing him to snore like a rabid banshee.

Hermione sat up and rubbed her throbbing temples. What was going on? Why was she here?

Like a dam breaking, the memories slammed into her and she gasped. Forest green. Muted black. Scarlet. Indigo. Emerald. Obsidian. Crimson—vermilion—canary. Slate.

Ah, so that explained a lot.

She tentatively touched her—bare?—thigh and found that the gaping hole she remembered was no longer there. Her fingers reached for her ravaged shoulder blade under the large black shirt, only to find it whole and smooth. The skin on her face and neck was unmarred.

She was okay.

Hermione reached over and put her hand on Severus' knee, "Severus?" She whispered, pushing against him slightly. "Severus?"

His eyes snapped open and he sat up so comically fast, he almost tumbled from the chair. His expression was confused and wild for a moment before he realized what he was seeing. "Hermione," he breathed and it sounded like a prayer on his lips as he collapsed to his knees on the rug, clasping her hands. "Thank all the Gods."

Her heart tumbled around in her chest at the sight of him kneeling before her, head bowed and hands gripping hers as if he was afraid she would disappear.

When he looked up at her, his onyx eyes were completely open and she could clearly see how worried he'd been, "I thought I had lost you."

 _…thought you were going to die…_

… _felt like I was dying with you..._

 _...so fucking scared…_

She cupped his face, "Are you alright? Did the Vow hurt you?"

"The Vow?" He was confused for a moment before it dawned on him. "Hermione, I can honestly say I had not even considered it until now. That was not what I meant."

"Then what—"

Severus stopped her by wrapping his long, slender arms around her waist and pulling her close, burying his face into her abdomen, "There was so much blood. Even with Fawkes, I thought… I thought…"

Hermione stroked his silky hair soothingly, "I'm just fine, Severus. I promise. There's no need to get so upset. We collected more than I ever anticipated and…"

He was trembling against her.

"Severus? Hey- talk to me, _please_."

"I thought you were going to die," his voice was scratchy and hoarse. "It _looked_ like you were going to die, right there, in my arms. Without…"

"Without what?"

His eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, found hers, "Without telling you how sorry I am."

She gave him a tender smile, "You have nothing to apologize for, Severus. You explained all of that already."

He pushed his face back into her stomach, his voice slightly muffled, "I know the things that are said about me. I know what I look like and who I am. I am too tall, too dark, too thin; all sharp edges and severe angles," his grip on her tightened. "I am a selfish, narcissistic, possessive, jealous bastard. I am cynical and jaded beyond reasonable belief. My tempers makes me impulsive with my words and I protect myself by either getting angry or pushing people away. I do not have the slightest inclination how to care for someone, how to show affection for another person. But when I saw you there, bleeding to death on the fucking ground with pieces you torn open, I just… I…"

Hermione had to bite her lip to fight back the tears.

"I cannot say how long we may have left, before this all ends one way or the other, and I cannot say for certainty that we will both make it out of this alive. But I want to be someone you deserve," Severus looked up at her again and his eyes were rimmed with red. "You risked your life to get those ingredients, for a potion you invented for _me_ , and I want to be worthy of that. I want to be worthy of _you_."

She grasped his face and pressed her lips to his forehead, her words fierce, "You _are_ , Severus. You are. And I wouldn't want you to be anyone other than who you are; you don't need to change for me. I would never expect you to."

His eyes slipped closed and a few tears escaped, tracking down his sharp cheekbones, "Where the hell have you been all my life, Hermione?"

She managed a small chuckle as she buried her face in his hair, "We have each other now. That's all that matters."

x-x-x

Hermione wiggled backwards a little, burrowing further into the cage of his body. Severus sighed, widening his legs slightly so she could worm her way closer to him. She grinned in contentment and let her head fall back against his sternum. He promptly rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Well that is rather disconcerting," she huffed at the musty book in her hands.

He didn't move, "What is?"

"It says here that Unmelting Snow is the single rarest ingredient in the known Wizarding world. So rare, in fact, that the few apothecaries who managed to get their hands on some ended up selling it to private potioneers at unashamedly exorbitant prices," she titled her head up to look at his sharp face. "I don't suppose you are part of a vast, underground network of potioneers eager to trade and sell their rare ingredients?"

"My, what an exciting life you assume I lead," Severus laughed, the sound rumbling deep in his chest and reverberating against her spine. "Sorry to disappoint, but I am not."

Hermione sighed, "I was afraid you would say that. And even if you were, I doubt we could come up with the kind of galleons these private potioneers would ask for."

" _If_ they were even willing to part with such a rare item in the first place," he added. "I doubt any of them would."

She groaned.

"There must be a way to acquire it naturally. What does the book say?"

Hermione hesitated, "It… _is_ possible. But…"

"But?"

"There is only one place it can be collected from…"

"And?"

"It is very far from here…"

He huffed, " _And?_ "

She looked up at him, "We have to appease an Ice Nymph."

There was a long moment of silence before he stop grinding his teeth, "You are certain it's an Ice Nymph?"

Hermione held up the book so he could see the hand-drawn picture and she saw the moment he crumpled in resignation.

"Well, shite."

"Is it really that bad?"

He eyed her, "Ice Nymphs are not exactly renowned for their generosity, Hermione. There is a reason the Unmelting Snow is so rare. These creatures are exceptionally difficult to please; purposefully so."

She looked back to the book, scanning the words, "It does not say what the Ice Nymph wants. How can we please it if we haven't the slightest clue how? Wait… it looks like someone translated something it said..." She turned the page and lifted the book so they could both read it.

 _Sweet as sugar, hard as ice,_

 _Hurt me once then kill you twice._

 _From darkest night to scorching sun,_

 _You must prove you are the one._

 _Come alone and rue the day,_

 _Come in pairs and then we play._

 _Dreams and hopes and fears galore,_

 _Feed me all but I want more._

 _I hold the treasure that you seek,_

 _But will not give it to the weak._

 _Just bare a sliver of your soul,_

 _Then I will help you reach your goal._

Severus scowled, "That cannot bode well."

"As I thought, we have to go together," Hermione ran her fingers across the stanzas as the words tumbled around in her mind. "And it sounds like the creature requires that we prove ourselves in some way. It mentions dreams, hopes, and fears. Maybe it wants to determine if those seeking the Unmelting Snow are worthy of it?"

"If this creature can lay a person bare like that, it might be best for me to arrange someone else to take you."

She wrestled from his grip and turned to face him, "Severus Snape, what on Earth are you talking about?"

Anger, belligerence, and snark she was prepared for. It was the vulnerable, hesitant, fearful look in his eyes that took her completely by surprise. "I am not a good person," he whispered. "You know the things I have done. How could I be worthy of such a rare gift if our souls are to be bared in judgment?"

Her heart broke at the absolute resignation in his voice. So that was truly the way he saw himself. Hermione set the book aside and crawled onto his lap, winding her arms around his shoulders and digging her fingers into his hair. As she knew he would, he tried to look away but she yanked his hair until their eyes met, "There is so much more to you than your mistakes, Severus."

His face softened a little.

"I know that it is incredibly difficult for you to believe anything even remotely positive about yourself, but I need you to really hear me now. You are… incredibly complex, Severus. There is no black and white when it comes to you. Instead, everything is a varying shade of gray. You have done questionable things, but you have also done brave, valiant, courageous things as well. Even if you did those things to atone for your mistakes, you still did them. You are a kaleidoscope of contradictions, multifaceted and impossible to define in such a trite way. You told me before that you trust me. Right now, I need you to prove it. Say you'll come with me."

They stared at each other for a long time and Hermione could actually see the myriad of emotions playing across his face as he took in everything she said. He never looked away from her, but she could tell that his mind was somewhere far away, considering. When he finally came back and his eyes refocused on her, Severus shook his head a little in disbelief, "Why do you believe in me like that? How can you speak with such conviction?"

"Because I see you, Severus," she breathed, pressing her lips softly against his. "I really _see_ you. You may be able to fool everyone else, but you will never be able to fool me again. It's far too late for that."

His crooked, shy smile was blinding and her chest constricted, "Indeed. It certainly is."

"Is that a yes?"

He broke into laughter as he let his head fall against her chest, "As if I could ever say no to you, Hermione."


	14. Legilimens

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Only J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter magic.**

 ***TW: Domestic violence. Proceed with caution.***

* * *

14\. _Legilimens_

Hermione pulled her travelling cloak tighter around her body in a somewhat futile attempt at keeping out the cool, swirling mist. It wasn't that she was dressed inappropriately for such a place- she was probably _over_ prepared, if anything, considering all the research she did before their departure- but the deeper into the mountains they went, the colder it became and the less the thick clothing she wore mattered. Much to their surprise, they had not been able to Apparate very far into the actual mountains. There were not wards preventing it but something else… a different kind of magic that surrounded this place in order to keep people away.

Severus had mused that this was probably a very, very bad idea.

But they needed the Unmelting Snow, so on they walked.

"The book was frustratingly sparse on details regarding the actual cave," Hermione huffed over the crunch of frost under their feet. "How are we supposed to know when we find it? These mountains go on for over 930 miles. We could be searching for the rest of our lives and never come across it."'

"No…" He said softly, pausing to let his gaze flicker around the wispy trees surrounding them. "I can feel the magic thrumming here- we are most certainly going in the right direction."

She trusted his instincts far more than her own, so she continued after him without comment.

A few minutes later he paused again, crouching down to touch his fingertips to the ground, brow furrowed in concentration and confusion.

"Severus?" Hermione called, looking up to see a whirlwind of large, fluffy snowflakes floating overhead. "Severus, I think something is wrong. The snow…" She reached her hand skywards in an attempt to touch the downy flakes that were suspended just above their heads, but instead of snow, her fingers met something cool, hard, and glass-smooth that felt almost like…

She gasped and yanked her hand back.

They found it.

"Severus, I think we made it to the…" Hermione turned only to see him still frozen in place, crouching down with his fingers on the ground. She stepped towards him slowly until she could crane her neck to see him, nearly recoiling with horror at the expression on his face.

His moist, glistening eyes were wide with terror, mouth hanging open in a little 'o' and his entire body was trembling.

Panic seized her- what was wrong with him? What was he seeing? She touched his shoulder, and much like what she'd read of falling into someone's mind with Legilimency, Hermione found herself falling down… down… down…

Until she wasn't anymore.

She opened her eyes to see that she was in a filthy, rundown kitchen with an empty icebox and a splintered table. The wallpaper, once a vibrant pattern of citrus fruits, was faded and peeling and the ancient linoleum floor was cracked and covered in grime. The doorway to the next room was missing its door, only rusted, limp hinges where it must have once been. The window to the outside revealed another dilapidated house only inches away and in the far, far distance she could see one tall smokestack of a factory.

Where was this place?

Loud, violent arguing came from the room with no door and Hermione backed away only to bump into something solid. She turned to see Severus standing with the same expression on his face that she had seen before ending up here.

"Severus?" She whispered, grabbing his hand with both of hers. "Where are we? What is this place?"

If he heard her, he didn't show it. He continued to stare with wide eyes at the open doorway.

The voices grew closer.

His entire body tensed.

Hermione turned just in time to see a woman be thrown through the doorway and go sprawling across the dirty floor. She was incredibly thin, probably malnourished by the looks of it, with bruises of all shapes and sizes and colors decorating her bare arms. Her long black hair was stringy and greasy, her nose entirely too large and aquiline to fit her sharp face.

A female Severus.

His mother.

Hermione gasped, hands covering her mouth to stifle her own horror and nausea. Just then, a large, burly man came barreling into the kitchen and started screaming at the woman- Eileen, Severus had called her- as he kicked her anywhere his booted foot could gain purchase. He reeked of alcohol and his distended potbelly bounced with each kick, his cheeks flushed and dark eyes narrowed in drunken fury.

"I told you," he shouted, picking Eileen up and slamming her against the wall with a sickening _CRACK!_ "There ain't gon' be no fuckin' magic in this house! D'you understand?"

His mother said nothing, only nodded.

His father, Tobias, threw her against the splintered table and it shattered into a million pieces across the floor, "Answer me, you fuckin' bitch!"

She still said nothing- it was as if she couldn't.

A small boy with long black hair, sallow skin, and mismatched clothes appeared in the doorway, "Ma?" He asked, his tiny voice wavering as his dark eyes took in the scene before him.

"Oh my Gods," Hermione backed into Severus further, shielding him with her own body as if it could protect him from whatever would happen next. "Severus, please tell me this is not real. Please tell me this didn't actually happen."

Tobias grabbed the boy by his soiled shirt and shoved him back into the other room as hard as he could and Eileen finally seemed to jolt awake. She lurched forward and grabbed one of his thick arms, "Please, leave Severus out of this. He can't control his magic yet but I can teach him how. I can—"

He cracked her across the jaw with his fist, blood spattering his arm from her mouth. Eileen crumpled to the floor, cradling her face with her hands.

"Either you teach the lil' freak to control it or I'll beat it outta him. You hear me?"

She nodded furiously, "I'll teach him. I'll teach him, I swear."

Like a veil being pulled off of them, Tobias looked up to seem them. More accurately, he looked over Hermione to see Severus standing behind her. He stalked forward, fists balled tight and crooked teeth clenched so tight the muscle in his jaw was ticking- much like Severus' did when he was angry. Hermione gripped his cloak behind her back.

"I told yer Ma I'd beat the magic outta you, didn't I? Shoulda done it years ago."

Severus' breathing quickened and was shaking so hard his teeth almost chattered. Hermione tightened her grip on him, backing up until she was as close to him as possible.

Tobias continued to come closer, his booted steps heavy on the sagging floor, "No son of _mine_ is gonna be a fuckin' _freak_!"

He was breathing too hard now and Hermione knew all-too-well what was happening; he was having a panic attack.

His father raised his fist and lunged at them with an unholy bellow but Hermione turned and wrapped herself around Severus as a shield, pushing the back of his head down to hide in the curve of her shoulder, "Just breathe," she cried, squeezing her own eyes shut in preparation for the pain. "He can't hurt you anymore. Even if he hurt you before, he can't hurt you _now_."

Tobias began raining blows upon her back, hitting and kicking as hard as he could to get to Severus. Hermione whimpered, gasped, cried out in pain, but never loosened her grip on her keeper. Not once.

No one had been able to protect him from this before, but she would be damned if she ever let it happen again.

"Breathe, Severus- ah!- breathe, _breathe_. You're not alone anymore," tears dripped from her eyes onto his hair. "Your father is gone. He can never do this to you again."

Under the onslaught of Tobias' violence, Hermione's knees gave and ending up dragging Severus to the floor with her, curling over him like a protective shell. His father's voice echoed around the kitchen in various tones and pitches as he bruised her to get to his son.

" _Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless! Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless! Freak! Stupid! Ugly! Worthless!_ "

"You are _not_ a freak, you were _blessed_ with magic," Hermione told him between tears. "You are the most intelligent wizard alive. Your mind, your power, your skills- they are all coveted by both Albus and Tom; neither can win the war without you. You are magnificent and beautiful and anyone who says otherwise is blind." She raised his head to force him to look at her. Her stomach roiled at his resigned, hopeless expression. "Your father was sick, Severus. You cannot listen to him because he was _sick_. Your mother loved you but she was _so_ afraid of fighting back. She knew you needed her, in any capacity, to protect you. She did the best she could, Severus. She did. And you _made_ it. You made it and you're here now. This is all in the past, Severus." Hermione pressed her forehead to his. "If I could take this from you, I would. You were so young, you did not deserve any of this. You deserved love and care, not abuse."

For the first time, it was as if her words broke through to him. Severus' eyes slipped shut, a few tears sliding down his sharp cheeks.

The blows from his father lessened and grew less painful.

She grabbed his face, brushing the tears away with her thumbs, "You are so strong, Severus. You made it this far without me and you don't truly _need_ me because you're strong."

His eyes snapped open to meet hers.

"You may not _need_ me," she continued softly, "but you _have_ me. Do you understand the difference? You made it through the worst of your life all on your own, but now you have me to lean on if you need a break." She took one of his large, slender hands and pressed it to her chest, right above her heart. "I'm here, right in front of you. Your parents are not here. You and me, that's it. We're all that is real here. This pain is only as strong as _you_ allow it to be. But I promise, I will take all of it that I can for you."

The shouting stopped. The fists and boots stopped.

Severus let out a shaky breath and wrapped his arms around her, " _Hermione_."

She sagged against him, muscles and bones bruised and screaming in protest as she embraced him back, "Yes. I'm here."

x-x-x

Grasping his hand, Hermione followed Severus out the back door of the crumbling kitchen, but was surprised to see the lush, rolling greenery of the Hogwarts grounds rather than the industrial backdrop of Cokeworth that she was anticipating. They were near the Black Lake and the sun was shining across the grass, broken only by a few willowy trees that lined the bank.

"Severus… what is this one?"

His expression was dark and he did not answer her.

"Your father, he was the fear," she tugged his hand a little to get his attention. "Which one is this? The hope or the dream?"

He nearly hissed through his tightly clenched teeth, "The dream."

A cacophony of young voices came floating from under one of the far willow trees. Hermione started towards them but stopped when she noticed he was not following. "Aren't you coming?"

"There are some things that do not need to be re-lived," he growled, fists clenching until his knuckled turned white. "I know full well what happens here. Being humiliated once was enough."

"We have to face it," she reminded him gently. "Otherwise we came for nothing."

Severus looked extremely conflicted for a long time, obsidian eyes flickering between emotions so fast she couldn't entirely discern what they all were. After what seemed like an eternity, he let out a sigh of resignation and made for the tree without waiting for her. Hermione had to jog a little to keep up with his long strides but soon, they were there.

They were standing within a ring of Hogwarts students of all houses, cheering and laughing at something before them. Hermione pushed herself to the front of the crowed- leaving Severus in the very back behind them all- only to see a boy that looked exactly like Harry and a handsome boy with curly black hair looming over a skinny boy with greasy black hair who was sitting alone with a book under the tree.

Another Severus.

"Snivellus!" The boy that looked like Harry shouted, smirking. "How did you do on your exam today?"

"Almost certainly better than you, Potter."

Hermione's eyes widened; it was Harry's father, James.

"Didn't you see him?" The handsome, curly-haired boy commented. "Had his beak pressed almost entirely to the parchment the entire time. Poor professor probably won't even be able to read it through all the grease!"

"So very clever as always," the young Severus drawled, rolling his eyes. "Let us hope that cleverness comes through in your notoriously poor grades, Black."

The handsome boy's grin faded and he knocked the book from Severus' hands, "Watch it, _Snivellus_. Or I may just stop being so nice."

Severus took a very long look at his book now lying in a small patch of mud before, like lightening, he whipped out his wand and aimed it at the boy he called 'Black'. James was prepared though and also aimed his wand at Severus, " _Expelliarmus!_ "

His wand went flying across the grass and he snarled at James before lunging for it.

Harry's father chuckled, "Oh no, you don't. _Impedimenta!_ "

Severus went sprawling to the ground, shouting random spells that didn't land.

His eyes narrowed behind his spectacles as he aimed his wand at Severus' mouth, " _Scourgify!_ "

Pink, soapy bubbles filled his mouth and he began to gag and choke. Hermione was about to start hexing when another familiar, lyrical voice came from the other side of the crowd, "Leave him alone!"

James and Black turned to the auburn-haired girl who spoke and it was clear that Harry's father had quickly lost interest in tormenting Severus now that Lily had arrived. He was flirting with her rather shamelessly just long enough for Severus to crawl away and grab his wand, spitting pink soap onto the grass before shouting, " _Sectumsempra!_ "

Three perfectly symmetrical lines sliced across James' face and immediately started bleeding. James raised his wand at Severus once more and without uttering a word, Severus was pulled high into the air by his ankle, robes falling towards the ground to reveal his dingy, graying pants.

"I said to leave him alone! What did he ever do to you?" Lily demanded, hands on her hips and stamping her foot. "You let him down right this instant, James Potter!"

James gave her an easy, charming smile and then Severus went tumbling to the ground, face burning scarlet with mortification.

"Just like _Snivellus_ to need a girl to fight his battles for him," Black scoffed and James burst into laughter as well.

Severus' face was nearly purple with rage as he stood and shouted, "I _don't_ need help from filthy little—"

Hermione darted forward and tackled the young boy to the ground, clamping her hand over his mouth, hissing, "Finish that sentence and you will regret it for the rest of your life, I promise."

"Well, well, well," Black said smoothly. "What do we have here? Another tasty little morsel coming to Snivellus' rescue?"

Hermione could see that the young Severus wanted to lash out at her but she simply clamped her hand over his mouth even harder, "Please don't make me hex you. I'm only trying to help, but I will stun you if I have to."

His dark eyes narrowed at her dangerously.

" _Please_."

He still glared at her.

Hermione let him go, praying that he wouldn't say anything that would make her look like a fool for defending him, before turning to the other boys, "Two against one hardly seems fair."

Black shrugged, "Snivellus has no qualms about playing dirty, why should we?"

She stood, stepping towards him inch by inch- eyeing the handsome boy up and down slow enough that he would take notice and, exactly as she hoped, he gave her a lazy grin when he realized what she was doing.

Hermione stopped when she was close enough to kiss him, her voice nothing more than a breathy whisper against his face, "What would you know…" She asked softly. "…about playing _dirty_?"

Black cracked another lusty grin, "I know all about _playing dirty_ , love. Want me to show you?"

"Please, allow _me_ ," she pressed her lips to his ear, wand aimed directly at his groin as she whispered sensuously. " _Minimus Totalus_."

The spell flared orange against him and he fell to the ground, hands clasped directly over his crotch, "Gahhhhhhh! What in the hells did you _do_?! What- ahhhhhh, it's _still_ shrinking! Make it stop! Please, make it _stop_!"

Hermione then whipped her wand to face James and hit him with a Stinging Hex and a Disfigurement Jinx in rapid succession, the word 'bully' spreading across his forehead in bright, cystic pimples.

He touched his face in horror, "What did you do? _What did you do?_ " He looked back at the other students, who were all laughing and pointing at _him_ now. "Make it go away! Get rid of it!"

"Serves you two right," Lily sniffed, pushing past the disfigured boys without a second look. When she reached Severus, she held out her hand and he eyed it warily, anger still clearly simmering just beneath the surface. She rolled her eyes and yanked him up anyway. "Oh, don't be such a baby. They got what was coming to them, didn't they?"

He glanced towards Black rolling around in tears on the ground and James touching his blemished face in horror and cracked a tiny, shy smile at Hermione, "I suppose they did."

"Lily! Lily, wait!" James stumbled forward. "Aren't we still having lunch together?"

She scoffed in disbelief, winding her arm through Severus', "Not a chance in all the hells, James Potter. You are abhorrent. Ready to go, Sev?"

The young boy caught Hermione's eye for a brief moment before turning back to Lily and nodding. The sounds of the other students faded away as Hermione watched them walk back to the castle together.

She felt a large hand on her shoulder and titled her head to see Severus watching them walk together as well. His voice was soft, "He didn't even thank you."

Hermione shrugged a little, eyes flickering back to the bobbing heads of auburn and onyx moving across the grounds side-by-side, "I'm not entirely sure he needed to since it was only a dream. I can't change what really happened." She paused, looking back up at him again. "Besides, I think you needed _her_ this time- not me."

His long arms wound around her waist, his lips grazing her forehead, "I only dreamed of someone caring enough to help, it did not have to be her."

"Severus…"

He turned her in his arms to face him, tilting her chin up with his fingers as he shook his head a little, "Arrogant, impertinent boy." Severus breathed the words against her mouth. " _Thank you_."

x-x-x

When the feel of his lips against hers fell away, Hermione opened her eyes to see that she was back on the mountain, between the wispy trees, with the oddly floating snow suspended just above her head.

Only this time, she was alone.

"Severus?" She called into the trees. A slight breeze rustled through the pines and swirled the mist around her legs. "Severus, where are you?"

"He cannot hear you. Not right now."

Hermione nearly fell over with the speed that she spun around, eyes widening as she realized who- or rather, _what_ \- had spoken to her.

The creature had the physical form of a female: long and lean with flared hips and full, rounded breasts but the creature was entirely smooth and icy blue, an almost powdery periwinkle, from the top of its head to the tips of its toes. The Ice Nymph's skin glittered like diamonds in the faint light that filtered through the trees and her hair was a soft but wild mass of snowflakes that billowed around her head as if suspended in water. She came closer and Hermione shivered at the wintry coolness that radiated from her body. Her piercing sapphire eyes were nearly three times the size of a human's and her nose was tiny and pointed, sticking straight out from her face above full, lustrous lips.

She was haunting and otherworldly but undeniably beautiful.

The Ice Nymph cocked her head, observing Hermione for a moment, "I did not expect someone so ordinary. I am quite surprised."

Hermione couldn't help but wince at the word 'ordinary', one of her dreams of Severus coming back to the forefront of her mind.

 _Average. Plain. Boring._

 _Nothing special._

 _Why would you notice me? Why would you want me?_

"So intelligent, yet so self-deprecating. An interesting mixture."

"You…" Hermione twisted her fingers anxiously. "You can read my mind?"

The creature smiled, revealing two sets of odd, rounded teeth, "Of course I can. I can read all minds if I choose. Does that frighten you?"

"I am fairly certain you already know the answer to that."

She chuckled- a tinkling, lyrical sound, "Yes. I do. But I am not interested in reading your mind, Hermione Jean Granger. I am interested more in your heart."

"Can you just… can you tell me if Severus is alright, first?"

The creature looked genuinely confused, "Of course he is. I have no interest in harming him. He has already proven himself beyond any expectation I had upon you two entering my mountain."

"So…" Hermione couldn't help the smile that broke across her lips, "he passed the test?"

"That remains to be seen, I think. There is still one more, after all."

"Right, of course," she nodded. "Hope."

"Yes, hope. So tell me, Hermione Jean Granger, what is it _you_ hope for?"

"Me?" Hermione frowned in confusion. "But why would you care what _I_ hope for? I thought Severus—"

"I care about all things, Hermione Jean Granger. Most of all when something so precious as my Unmelting Snow is the prize. So tell me, if you please- what do you hope for?"

She thought for a moment, categorizing her thoughts in order to give the Ice Nymph a true, honest answer, "Well," she began. "I suppose there are a few things."

The creature gestured for her to continue.

"I hope to graduate at the top of my class so I can choose any career path I want. I don't want to be limited in my choices, but have the freedom to go anywhere and do anything."

The Ice Nymph nodded.

"I hope for the war to end and for everyone to know that I'm nothing like my father, so they will no longer be afraid of me. I hope to be able to make friends, real friends, without his shadow looming over my life. I hope to find acceptance when it all ends."

Another nod.

"I…" Hermione chewed her lip as she chose her words carefully. "I hope for Severus to have the life he always deserved. I hope for his happiness."

The Ice Nymph's gaze was unwavering, "And if his happiness were to mean a life without you? What then?"

"That would hurt immensely," she admitted in a quiet voice, warm cinnamon eyes meeting cold sapphire, "but I would never stop him. I don't want to be another shackle. I want to be a choice."

The creature began to circle her slowly like a predator, "You are very young. Half his age."

"I am," she agreed.

"He has sworn his life to protect yours; he knelt at your father's feet and vowed it."

"He did."

"He has many, many psychological scars. Ones that may never truly heal. He is heavily damaged."

"He is."

"He has made promises to powerful men, men who would turn on him if it meant reaching their goals. He may very well lose his life in the end."

"Yes… he may."

She paused behind Hermione, icy fingers brushing her curls back from her shoulder and grazing her chilled skin, "He might break your heart many times. He might not even realize he's doing it. He might hurt you, so much that you wish he were someone- anyone- else."

"Maybe… but I might hurt him, too."

"Do you intend to?"

Hermione's answer was quick and concise, "No."

"You consider yourself in love with him," the creature continued, toying with Hermione's curls idly. "Yet you can't let go of your own fears of inadequacy. Why is that?"

"I…" She hesitated but found comfort in the icy fingers that dragged through her hair. "I can't possibly imagine what he would see in me. Setting aside the fact that I am completely average looking, having a relationship with me would be so dangerous and cause so many problems for him, it couldn't possibly be worth it. Without the war, I would still be his student. With the war, I am not only his student, but his charge, and his burden. My father would kill him without a second thought if he knew. He would lose his job if the Headmaster found out. And I…" Hermione was almost whispering now. "I look nothing like _her_."

"Do not insult me. Her looks do not matter to him anymore," the Ice Nymph snapped. "You other fears, however, have merit. I can't see the future, but I do know this." She ran her icy fingers down the very real bruises and abrasions on Hermione's back from Tobias. "Something is coming. And whatever it is, it will tear you from him violently. It will hurt you both and it will test you in the harshest ways. You have already taken this pain from him; are you prepared to take some more?"

She squared her shoulders, only wincing slightly when the cold fingers pressed into her bruised spine, "I'll do what needs to be done."

"Then you have passed my three tests, Hermione Jean Granger," the Ice Nymph glided back around to face her, hand outstretched with a glass jar full of what looked like powdered diamonds in her palm, "I give you this gift and wish you both luck. You are going to need it."

Hermione took the small jar, clutching it to her chest as she looked back at the creature, "You were… testing _me_."

"It's your potion, not his. I had to make sure you were sincere, that it was truly love."

"And?"

She smiled warmly for the first time, "You are a fierce one, Hermione Jean Granger. I do not envy the ones who will seek to hurt him."

And the snow that had been suspended above her head came swirling down around her as the creature disappeared into the mist.

x-x-x

When the whirlwind of snowflakes finally settled at her feet, Hermione quickly found herself crushed to a familiar, black wool-clad chest.

"Are you alright? Thank the Gods, I thought you'd gotten lost. Why did you not answer me when I called your name? Do you have _any_ idea how worried I have been?!" Severus snarled even as he held her close to him. "Answer me, you insufferable girl- I almost had a heart attack because of you!"

"Severus," Hermione groaned, "ease up on my back a little, please. I'm still rather sore."

He froze, loosening his grip but otherwise not moving, "You mean… that was all real? You really… you really let him…"

"It doesn't matter. It's done now."

"What the hell do you mean, 'it doesn't matter'?!" He snapped, expression a mix of shock and horror. "Of _course_ it matters! He could have killed you! I _know_ what it feels like to be on the receiving end of that and how could you possibly think for one bloody second that I would want you to—"

She pulled back so she could see his face, "Severus… I did it. _We_ did it."

He was still too angry, too upset to hear her, "I should have you thrown in St. Mungo's for doing something so completely reckless and utterly fucking stup—"

Hermione shoved the chilled glass jar roughly into his chest, "Severus, _look_!"

When his eyes, still blazing with anger, flitted down to the item she had thrust at him, she saw him visibly deflate until he was nearly sagging with relief. Severus' gaze flickered between her and the jar for a moment before he burst into disbelieving laughter, hands scrubbing over his mouth, "You have the snow. Hermione," Severus let out another breathy chuckle, " _you have the snow_."

His long, slender arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her in close, overlarge nose nudging her cheek affectionately until she lifted her face to him. She was certain that he was going to kiss her, but for the longest time his obsidian eyes simply met hers. There were so many emotions flickering across his face that it nearly made her dizzy. Severus bent his head, eyes slipping closed as he brushed his lips against hers. Hermione felt her magic sizzling just below her skin in response to him, desperate to break free and wrap him in its tendrils until they melded into one being.

"You beautiful, brilliant, insufferable girl," he breathed, fingers flexing against her waist softly, driving her absolutely mad. Severus dipped his tongue briefly into her mouth and she nearly collapsed. "I cannot even begin to describe…" He pressed his lips to her cheek, her jaw, below her lobe. "… how inexorably fucking _proud_ I am…" The words danced across the shell of her ear. "… to have someone like you…" His tongue flitted across the sensitive skin. "… at my side…"

Hermione shivered, the hand not around the glass jar gripping his robes to keep from trembling, little blue sparks dripping from her curls onto the frosty ground, "Keep being 'proud' like that and you are going to end up starkers on the ground, Severus. Considering we are in the middle of nowhere and have a rather important potion to make, perhaps now is not the most opportune time…" She could feel his hard length pressing against her abdomen and, though she had never experienced anything like that before, though she had never even kissed anyone before the way he kissed her, Hermione felt herself nearly burst into flames. She _wanted_ him, more than she could ever currently remember wanting anything, and that feeling alone was enough to send her reeling. Her magic was dancing inside of her frantically, heat pooling low in her belly at the thought of him above her as he had been in her dream.

They had all the ingredients now, he was certain the potion would work when they brewed it. Her head was spinning- it could work. All of it could work. Her magic was agreeing desperately, pushing her closer to him, insisting her fingers fist in his hair. It wasn't hopeless, she wasn't trapped with Tom. There was hope for her to escape, there was hope for him to be free of his masters. The sparks flooded her body with heat, forcing out her breaths in sharp pants. How was it possible to be so drawn to someone? How was it possible for two people to have such compatible magic? Hermione couldn't breathe. She dropped the jar and clung to him desperately, fingers knotted in his hair, mouth dragging across every expanse of skin she could reach. Her words were strangled and throaty, "Then again, I would be more than happy to make an exception for you."

Severus was panting just as heavily, his heavily-lidded eyes following her with every move she made, "Forgive me," he gasped as she kissed him again, rubbing herself against him like a cat. "I forget how your magic affects you when I… Gods above, Hermione, are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Hermione was tearing at the buttons on his frock coat, eyes laden with lust, "Need you, Severus," she practically growled. "Need _all_ of you."

His hand came up to stop her.

She looked up, confused- his pale cheeks were flushed and his pupils were blown so wide they blended in completely with the dark irises. Didn't he… didn't he want her? His chest was still heaving and she could feel his heart racing beneath her hand, but…

"Forgive me," he repeated softly, brushing back a lock of twisted curls from her face. "I allowed myself to get too carried away."

"No!" Hermione protested. "No, I want—"

"I know what you want," he chuckled. "You have made that quite clear. But Hermione—"

The fire in her belly was beginning to dim as her magic receded but she felt a tight knot forming deep in her gut instead, "Do you not… want me, too?"

Severus was still smirking even as he rolled his eyes, "Merlin save me from teenage hormones. Of course I do, Hermione. Could you really not…" He flushed scarlet and sighed, bending down to pick up the jar of Unmelting Snow. "You were right- this is not the most opportune time for a multitude of reasons. Right now, we have more important things to consider."

"But—"

He gave her a soft, chaste kiss to stop her, fingers curling around her jaw, "We will, Hermione. I promise. And eventually, you will not be able to keep me from having you. But right now, we need to get back to the castle and after that, we need to start working on the potion. We only have a limited amount of time for creating it, whereas I…" He gave her one of his shy, crooked smiles. "I am not going anywhere for the foreseeable future. We will do this, just not right now. I apologize for overstepping."

"So not right now…" Hermione took the jar from his hand and wound her arm around his, eyes flickering up to his, "After we create a working potion, then?"

Severus nodded, "After we create a working potion."

"Well then," she shook out her mane of curls with mock-haughtiness, "what are you doing dawdling about? Apparate us back to Hogwarts so we can get started already!"

"Such an insatiable little thing," he chuckled, affectionately ruffling her hair. "You never cease to surprise me."

"Less talking, more Apparating!" Hermione snapped her fingers a few times but burst into laughter when he did nothing more than raise his heavy brow at her cheek.

Severus shook his head, eyes pleading towards the heavens, "Merlin, help me."

She was still laughing when they Apparated back to the castle gates.


	15. Impedimenta

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: J.K. Rowling is the sole owner of all things Harry Potter.**

 *****My true feelings for Lily came out. Whoops.*****

* * *

15. _Impedimenta_

She should have known that the euphoria of appeasing the Ice Nymph would not last. She should have known the Headmaster would ruin it.

And ruin it, he did.

By the time they had returned to Severus' chambers with the jaw of glittering snow, Dumbledore was already sitting in the armchair by the hearth- fingers steepled against his chin and eyes twinkling in a way that immediately set her teeth on edge. Not 30 seconds later were the two wizards arguing.

"No. Absolutely not. Not a chance in all the hells. _No_."

"I was not asking for permission, Severus. Surely you know that?"

He growled, teeth clenching, "You would just throw her to the wolves, would you? Now that we have everything we need to create the potion? How very _predictable_ of you, Albus."

The Headmaster simply smiled, "Of course not, dear boy. I simply believe it would be beneficial for her to explain the potion to the Order herself. They had questions about it that I could not answer. If we are going to use it effectively, we need to know _how_. Isn't that right, Miss Granger?"

Hermione chewed her lip, torn between the two wizards who were now openly staring at her- one with naked fury and the other with an odd sort of twinkle, "I suppose…"

" _No_ ," Severus snarled again, moving to stand in front of her. "Not unless I go with her."

Dumbledore shook his head, "I'm sorry, Severus, but I need you to begin working on the potion tonight. We simply do not have the time to spare."

"Shall I cast a _Sonorus_ charm for you, old man? I said she will not—"

"Severus," Hermione wrapped her hand around his arm gently, "I'll be fine Along with the Headmaster, Harry will be there as well."

" _Not helping_ , Hermione," he snapped as he yanked his arm away from her. "That dunderhead's presence is _hardly_ comforting."

"She will have many allies at the table tonight, I assure you," when her keeper opened his mouth to argue once more, the friendly sparkle faded from the older man's eyes. "This discussion is now over. Severus, you are to return to the dungeons and begin preparing the potion. It is time for Miss Granger and myself to depart for the meeting. Miss Granger, if you please."

She stepped around Severus towards the Headmaster but was stopped by a tight grip on her wrist. His voice was low in her ear, "If you are in need of me, send a patronus and I will be there."

Her fingers brushed against his encircling her wrist, eyes meeting, "Thank you."

The Headmaster cleared his throat, bushy white brow raising near his hairline, "Miss Granger?"

Hermione turned and took the proffered arm, flashing the still glowering Severus with a reassuring smile before Dumbledore Apparated them away.

x-x-x

The Order members responded to her presence about the way she anticipated: a third of them looked terrified, a third of them looked furious, and the remaining third were poised with quill and parchment, ready to take down every word she said.

It was strange, to be sure.

Hermione cleared her throat lightly before straightening her spine, "I appreciate you all taking the time to be here this evening. The Headmaster mentioned that it might be helpful for me to be on hand in order to answer any questions you might have regarding the potion we are working on so—"

All Hell promptly broke loose then.

Half of the table hurled question after question at her, all at the same time.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

"Why do you want to help the Order?"

"Does your father know about this?"

"How long have you been hiding this from us?"

"Why are you trying to help Death Eaters?"

"Do _you_ have the Dark Mark, too?"

"No, seriously. Who really created the equation?"

And then the other half of the table started in with their shouting.

"She can't be trusted!"

"How do we know she won't turn on us?"

"I bet Snape's in on it too, that greasy git."

"This is mad, who thought this was a good idea?"

"You mark my words, this girl is trying to take us down from the inside!"

"Don't be daft; she doesn't seem clever enough for that."

"Yeah, she's probably just some Death Eater's tart trying to spare him from being Kissed—"

Hermione's palms came slamming down onto the table, rattling the teacups on their chipped china, " _ENOUGH!_ "

The room went silent and 14 sets of wide eyes immediately turned to her.

"Let me make something perfectly clear. I have no problem with answering any sane, _rational_ questions you may have and even dispelling some of the misconceptions you have about me, but I absolutely will _not_ stand idly by while you all insult me while pretending as if I'm not standing two feet away from you. Merlin have mercy, if this is the maturity level exhibited by the side of the Light, then we all might as well start preparing to knit our 'I hate Mudbloods' jumpers. Perhaps then the Death Eaters will be willing to keep us as housepets when my father inevitably takes over!"

Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their seats and some actually had the decency to look embarrassed.

There was a low whistle from behind her, accompanied by a smooth voice that she recognized from the courtyard back in September, "You weren't kidding, Harry. She's a fireball, that one."

Hermione turned to see Harry, flanked by a smirking Neville and hesitant Ron, grinning at her, "Told you. Alright, 'Mione?"

She couldn't help but smirk back at him, "Fine, thanks. Now would you three care to join us or are you content to just dawdle about in the doorway making witty commentary all evening?"

Neville broke into a hearty laugh, his perfect teeth glinting in the candlelight, "Oh, I like her."

Ron elbowed him as they made their way to the table, Harry nudging her shoulder playfully as he passed. Once the three boys were in their seats, Hermione turned her attention back to the table, "Now, if you have any questions about the potion or about myself, I would be more than happy to—"

Before she could finish, a corporeal dragon patronus came swimming through the wall to stop in front of the Headmaster. It did not speak as it floated, but the Headmaster nodded at the dragon, "Thank you. You may bring them."

The wispy patronus nodded back before swimming away through the wall again.

"Pardon the interruption, Miss Granger, but I have an announcement to make before we continue," the Headmaster stood while adjusting his half-moon spectacles. "My fellow Order members, it seems as though we have three more defections to welcome into our ranks tonight."

There was a plethora of whispering across the table before a scraggly Auror with one magical eye growled, "More Death Eater scum, Albus? You've already asked us to trust that bastard Snape and this brat. How many more are we expected to tolerate?"

Dumbledore's answer was sharp and precise, "You will tolerate as many as I ask you to, Alastor."

The Auror slumped back in his chair, grumbling something unintelligible under his breath.

The Floo beyond the large table came roaring to life and from the emerald green flames, came the familiar faces of Draco, Blaise, and Pansy- each looking equal parts relieved and terrified as their eyes flitted about the room. That is, until they saw Hermione at the head of the table. As if a great weight had been lifted from their shoulders, they all visibly sagged against each other.

Hermione darted around the table and lunged at them, wrapping the three Slytherins in the best embrace she could manage with her rather short arms, "Why… how… what on Earth is going on? I thought…"

Pansy buried her face in Hermione's shoulder, "Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. Couldn't do it."

Blaise rubbed a large hand in comforting circles across Pansy's back, his dark eyes hard as they met Hermione's, "Our parents forced us to attend our first Revel tonight."

Hermione felt her blood run cold, "And did they… did they force your participation as well?"

Pansy was trembling now, "So much blood…"

Draco's cool, aristocratic façade broke for the first time as he ran a shaking hand over his mouth, "They certainly tried, but as soon as we realized what they wanted us to do—"

Blaise pulled the dark-haired girl into his side, "We got the fuck out of there as fast as we could without raising the alarms."

A plump, red-haired woman who looked exactly like a female Ron came bustling over to the quartet, wand waving wildly as she conjured blankets, tea, and snacks, "Oh, you poor dears! Here, get yourselves warm and have something to eat." She wrapped them all in the conjured blankets and pushed them down onto a plush loveseat that she quickly transfigured from one of the single chairs.

"Yes, yes Molly, comforting them is all well and good," a handsome man, one that looked strikingly similar to the boy from Severus' memory of humiliation, stood and turned to the Headmaster. "But I would like to know why there's a Malfoy, a Parkinson, and a Zabini in my home when their parents are all noted, highly ranking Death Eaters. Surely you didn't _approve_ this, Albus?"

Dumbledore was completely serene as he retook his seat, "I did, Sirius. And they are in your home because they are children who were not given a choice in who their parents chose to follow. They are children who have every right to exercise their free will and their free will brought them to us. Should I turn them away simply because their parents forced them to take the Mark?"

The Auror, Alastor, glared at the three Slytherins, "Is that the way of it? Did your parents force you into being branded or did you do it because you hoped it would save your sorry arses from being _Crucio_ 'd until your eyes bled—"

Pansy vomited on the floor and Blaise went for his wand, fire in his eyes.

"That is _enough_ , Alastor!" Molly cried, _Scourgify_ ing the floor and placing a hand on the girl's lowered head. "These children came to us for help! How dare you try to demean that?"

"Molly's right, Alastor," Dumbledore nodded. "I must ask you restrain yourself, lest I be forced to ask you to leave. I have offered the Order's protection to all who would seek it, children of Death Eaters included. Remus, Nymphadora- as soon as our meeting concludes, I would ask that you find a remote safe house for the children in the event that it is needed. Alastor, Arthur, Molly, Kingsley- we will need to increase the wards on Hogwarts now that we have more than one high-profile defection to protect."

"Of course, Albus," an older red-haired man agreed as he placed one large hand on Molly's shoulder. "Anything you need."

"Now that all of that has been taken care of," the Headmaster smiled, tilting his gaze back towards Hermione, "you may continue, Miss Granger."

Hermione cleared her throat softly, returning to her place at the head of the table after one more reassuring squeeze of Pansy's still trembling shoulder, "Thank you, Headmaster. As I said before, despite what you think of me, I'm here to help. So are there any questions I can answer for you?"

Almost all of the hands went up.

She sighed internally- it was going to be a long night.

x-x-x

When the meeting concluded three hours later, everyone began to depart. The Headmaster, along with Alastor, Arthur, Molly, and Kinglsey, was the first to step through the Floo- after a brief reminder to his students that they were to return to the castle within half an hour as well. Nymphadora and Remus were the next to leave, already deep in discussion about where the best, most secure safe house would be. As it was his home, Sirius hung back in the kitchen to speak with Harry, Ron, and Neville and the still shell-shocked Slytherin Trio escaped quietly through the Floo as soon as it was clear of the other Order members.

It did not escape Hermione's notice, however, that Harry's emerald gaze surreptitiously followed Draco everywhere.

She bit the inside of her cheek to suppress her grin. Interesting.

Hermione was just slipping her outer robes back on when Lily blocked her path to the fireplace, "Before you go, there's something I want to say."

The older woman's expression was warm and friendly, but her quiet tone was icy and sharp. Hermione quickly glanced around to see that Harry had his back to them before turning her attention back to Lily, "Go on then."

Lily's jade eyes were cold though she smiled as if they were old friends, "I don't know what kind of relationship you think you have with Harry, but I will only say this once- stay away from my son."

That certainly caught her by surprise and was not at all what she'd expected, "I beg your pardon?"

Lily took a small step closer, glaring down at the girl who was much shorter than her, "I said: stay away from my son, you little tart. You've already sunk your claws into Sev- not that he ever had any willpower when it came to a pair of tits anyway- but I refuse to let you turn my son into a sycophant as well. Do whatever you want with Sev, he was a lost cause a long time ago, but don't you dare try and ensnare Harry, too. I don't know what kind of game you're playing by coming over to the Order and I don't care. All I care about is that boy and I know better than to trust this innocent façade you're parading around for everyone to see."

Hermione did not shrink away from her, fists clenching at her sides as she grit her teeth, "Luckily for me, your opinion is the least of my worries."

She place her hand on Hermione's upper arm as if in a friendly gesture while her sharp fingernails dug surreptitiously into the soft skin, almost certainly drawing blood, "It shouldn't be."

"You can threaten me all you like," Hermione hissed under her breath, "but I'm not afraid of you. And if were you, I would seriously rethink where your hand is right now."

Lily scoffed, "I'm not scared of your idle threats either, _little girl_. My magic could dance circles around yours with my wand hand tied behind my back. You wouldn't even stand a chance."

A surge of raw magic slid across Hermione's skin, singing Lily's hand and causing her to recoil with a sharp hiss of pain, "Are you so sure?"

The older woman's eyes narrowed at her, all pretense of friendliness gone as she snapped, "You're awfully bold for someone with such a precarious secret. What do you think Albus would say if I told him about you and Sev? Oh yes, I know all about that. It was written all over his face when I asked him about you. Do you think the Order would be so quick to protect you if they knew you were spreading your legs for their token Death Eater? Do you think Albus would continue to look the other way for him if he knew?" Lily's smirk was smug. "Sev would be out on his bony arse before he could even draw his wand- no more protection from the Order, no more protection from Hogwarts. Is that what you want for him?"

When Hermione didn't, couldn't answer, Lily continued.

"If you want him to remain in the safe, cushy protection of the Order and Hogwarts, I suggest you keep the fuck away from my son. Do I make myself clear?"

Rage. Blinding, scorching rage. It was clawing at her throat like fire, incinerating her from the inside out. She was nearly blind with it, nearly robbed of all her senses except for the wrath that seemed to take on a life of its own within her. She _dared?_ She _dared_ to threaten him? She _dared_ to threaten to hurt her by hurting him? Severus loved her. He had loved her for most of his life and this was how Lily truly saw him? A spineless, brainless, sycophant whose only use was to keep Hermione in line by simpering after her and fucking her into submission for the Order? It was almost too much for her to comprehend. How could someone so beautiful be so ugly? How could someone so physically lovely be almost as brutal, as ruthless and heartless as the Death Eaters her father commanded? Hermione could feel the magic tingling in her palms, her fingers spasming with the burning desire to hex, to curse. _There are others in the room_ , she reminded herself over and over. That single though kept her magic from exploding in a lightening display of cobalt sparks.

But had they been alone, she was not entirely sure she could have controlled herself.

When Lily once again smirked so arrogantly at her, Hermione actually felt the last vestiges of her civility slip away. She almost felt like a different person, as if a darker version of herself slid into place. She was trembling with the force of her fury, but she held her voice steadily as she spoke, "If you ever…" Hermione nearly whispered. "Ever in your life, threaten Severus again…" She very gently took Lily's hand, gaze unwavering and fierce. "I will show you what it truly means to be Tom Riddle's daughter."

Lily's eyes widened at the younger girl's dark expression and she tried to pull her hand away but Hermione's grip was too strong.

"He is my keeper," Hermione said softly, the words slicing through the air like knives, "and I am his."

"You're completely mad if you think he will ever let me go, if you think he could ever feel anything real for you. You are nothing but a convenient fuck for him, good for warming his bed while he's forced to watch over you," Lily sneered. "As soon as the war is over, he will come running right back to me. Now _let me go_."

But Hermione's anger refused to allow her to relent, "Perhaps, perhaps not. But you should understand that the equation- the potion- is for him. _Him_ ; no one else. If you ever threaten me again, I will withdraw my help from the Order and you would be a fool if you thought I wouldn't tell them why. You are losing this war and the Order needs what I can give. I have access to my father's home. I have access to the Revels if I choose. You need me. And because you need me, you need Severus. So never make the mistake of believing either one of us is dispensable, because I can guarantee that the Headmaster would sacrifice _you_ in a heartbeat if it meant keeping the both of us."

For the first time, Lily's haughty confidence wavered and she opened her mouth to respond when Harry came over sporting an almost painful looking smile, "'Mione, you finally had a chance to meet mum! I just knew you two would get on."

Hermione felt the darker part of herself slip back beneath the surface as she smiled at her friend and pretended to shake the hand she was still holding, "Of course. Your mother is lovely, just as you described." She turned her attention back to Lily, who looked positively green. "It was so nice to finally meet you, Lily. I hope to have another chance to speak with you soon."

His mother didn't respond, she simply stared at the girl with open shock.

Harry frowned, "Mum?"

Lily seemed to snap to attention then, her expression melting into the friendly façade once more as she discreetly pulled her hand from Hermione's grasp, "Sorry about that, darling. It's been such a long night and I'm just positively knackered. I should probably get home and get some rest. It was nice to meet you as well, Miss Granger. Take care." She turned towards Sirius, who was now playing a game of Exploding Snap with Ron and Neville. "Sirius, you'll make sure the boys get back to Hogwarts, won't you?"

He nodded absently as a few of the cards exploded on the creaky old table, "Sure, sure. You can count on me."

Hermione nearly rolled her eyes.

"Love you, sweetheart," Lily pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek and gave him a quick hug before heading towards the hallway. "Don't stay with your godfather too late or the Headmaster will have us all in detention."

Harry remained next to Hermione, staring at the empty hallway in confusion long after the front door had closed behind his mother.

x-x-x

It was half past one when Hermione finally stepped out of the emerald flames and into his sitting room. More accurately, it was half past one when she stepped out of the emerald flames and directly into _him_ , as he had been pacing relentlessly in front of the fireplace.

Severus crushed her to his chest, "It's been hours since you left and I was beginning to worry. How was it? Do I need to go and hex the lot of them? How uninspired were their questions?"

Hermione's only response was to wind her fingers deftly under the long row of buttons adorning his frock coat, slowly popping them open one by one.

He chuckled, pressing his lips to her wild curls, "Impudent witch, what are you up to?"

Quicker than expected, she had undone the buttons and pushed the fabric of the coat from his shoulders until it slid to the floor. Her fingers then began to work on the pearlescent buttons of his crisp white shirt.

"Hermione," Severus said softly, his hand coming to cover hers, "we discussed this."

It was then that he realized she was trembling against him.

"Hey," he knelt down and smoothed the pads of his fingers over her furrowed brows, "what happened? Why are you shaking?"

Hermione let her eyes slip closed, emotions and magic roiling inside of her like a storm battering a ship on the sea. Her heart was twisting in her chest and nausea was clawing at her throat. The interaction with Lily had left her feeling conflicted, but also terrifyingly insecure in her position with him. Severus was attracted to her and their magic was almost frighteningly compatible, but… was that all? The Ice Nymph was right- she was in love with him. Did Lily really think she was nothing but a convenient shag for him? They hadn't even… they _hadn't_. He'd done nothing more than kiss her. Was she just a warm body to him, convenient because she was in his company? Was he going to run back to Lily as soon as he was free of her father? He said he no longer cared for Lily, he told her that to her face. But facing off with the beautiful witch who thought so little of her, of _him_ , left her rattled and confused. That woman, the one who threatened to strip Severus of what little safety he had simply to hurt _her_ … she was the one he gave his heart to? Severus never spoke of love, not with her. He used it in reference to Lily, but never to her. What did that mean? Where did that leave her?

He was her keeper, sworn to guard her life.

But what about her heart? Was that not in just as much jeopardy?

The words tumbled from her mouth, "How could you love someone like her?"

His fingers slid from her brow down her cheeks, until he was lifting her chin instead, "Where on Earth did this come from? You have asked me about my feelings for her before, and my answer has not changed from then. Anything I felt in the past is immaterial to now. You know that."

"How could you love her?" She repeated, cinnamon eyes roving his face. "Why is she so special?"

Severus sighed, "Hermione…"

"Is it because she's beautiful?"

"Hermione—"

"Is it her skin? Her hair? Her teeth? Her proportions?"

"No, that—"

"Is it her voice? Her manner of speaking?"

"What are you—"

"Is there something about her personality? Tell me _why_. Tell me what makes her so _special_."

"If you would let me speak—"

"How could you love her," she cupped his sharp cheeks, thumbs brushing across the slight stubble that was now there, "when you deserve so much better?"

"Hermione, _please_ —"

"Did you ever sleep with her?" The question was not accusatory, only desperately- and horrifyingly- curious. Hermione's fingers tightened around his jaw slightly. "Did you give that to her? Did you let her have that part of you, as well?"

"No!" Severus looked mildly panicked as he took one of her hands from his face. "No, it was not like that with us. Hermione, what—"

"But you wanted it to be that way. You wanted that with her."

"What I wanted before does not matter, you insufferable girl! What I wanted before is not what I want _now_ , can't you understand that? Merlin, what is wrong with you?"

Her magic was clouding her mind now, Lily's words flashing like muggle neon signs against what she thought she knew. Blue sparks dripped from her hair onto the rug and she tried to back away from him, "You still love her. I…. not… just…"

Severus caught her by the wrist before she could move away, "Hermione, if you refuse to tell me what the hell is going on, I will be forced to use Legilimency on you. Tell me, _what happened at the meeting_? Where is all of this coming from?"

Hermione's breath came in short, sharp pants. What was the truth anymore? It was terrifying to admit that she wasn't entirely sure, "Not real… _not real_ …"

He gripped her face between his hands as he growled, " _Legilimens!_ "

She felt him go tumbling into her mind but that was the extent of it. She was too distracted by the feeling of drowning in her magic to care, unable to breathe with it suffocating her.

His voice, soothing and calm, floated through her thoughts. _Breathe, Hermione. Just breathe. Your magic is feeding from your chaotic emotions; you are only making it stronger. Take a moment to center yourself and show me what happened. It will only hurt if I have to search through your memories myself. Just remember what happened and I will see it._

His deep, silky baritone cut through the chaos and allowed her a brief moment of clarity when she was able to pull the memory to the surface.

 _"Before you go, there's something I want to say."_

 _Merlin almighty, had she ever seen a woman so beautiful? It was no wonder that Severus couldn't let her go- who could? She was stunning. Just standing before her made Hermione want to hide her unruly curls and somewhat large teeth behind a book._

 _She was always safe with her books._

 _But she could not cower in front of this woman, she could not show weakness. She_ would _not. "Go on then."_

 _"I don't know what kind of relationship you think you have with Harry, but I will only say this once- stay away from my son."_

 _"I beg your pardon?"_

 _The tall, beautiful witch loomed over her, "I said: stay away from my son, you little tart. You've already sunk your claws into Sev- not that he ever had any willpower when it came to a pair of tits anyway- but I refuse to let you turn my son into a sycophant as well. Do whatever you want with Sev, he was a lost cause a long time ago, but don't you dare try and ensnare Harry, too. I don't know what kind of game you're playing by coming over to the Order and I don't care. All I care about is that boy and I know better than to trust this innocent façade you're parading around for everyone to see."_

 _Her heart felt like it was breaking for Severus. He held this woman in such high esteem, almost deifying her, and_ this _was how she really saw him? How dare she? Who did she think she was?_

Severus growled inside her head and pushed forward a little harder.

 _"You're awfully bold for someone with such a precarious secret. What do you think Albus would say if I told him about you and Sev? Oh yes, I know all about that. It was written all over his face when I asked him about you. Do you think the Order would be so quick to protect you if they knew you were spreading your legs for their token Death Eater? Do you think Albus would continue to look the other way for him if he knew?" She smirked and her face twisted into something far less lovely. "Sev would be out on his bony arse before he could even draw his wand- no more protection from the Order, no more protection from Hogwarts. Is that what you want for him?"_

 _So that was what Lily thought? That she was Severus' whore? Or that he was hers? Sharing herself, giving herself to him in that way was something she wanted desperately, but now Lily had cheapened it; warped it into something ugly and twisted with only a few words._

 _…Was that how Severus saw her? A warm body for his bed?_

 _Her horror was quickly morphing into fury as the rest of the woman's words hit her. Lily would sell him out, put his life in serious danger, all to keep her away from Harry? How could she be so cruel? How could someone so beautiful be such a monster?_

 _Magic be damned, she wanted to punch that smug grin right off her perfect mouth._

Severus pushed even harder, reaching for the source.

And he found it.

 _The words were spoken from the very furthest reaches of her heart, "He is my keeper, and I am his."_

 _Lily was not remotely fazed as she sneered, "You're completely mad if you think he will ever let me go, if you think he could ever feel anything real for you. You are nothing but a convenient fuck for him, good for warming his bed while he's forced to watch over you."_

 _Everything went spiraling downward as her magic rebelled against the very idea. No… no, surely not._

 _He wouldn't He would_ never _._

 _…Right?_

Severus broke the connection, wiping the tears away that had slid down her cheeks, "Oh, Hermione," he sighed softly, forehead resting against hers. "I am so sorry. I should have been there. I should have known she would—"

"Was she telling me the truth?" Hermione asked, eyes desperately searching his. "Is that all I am to you?"

The dark wizard let out a breathy chuckle, his expression soft and affectionate, "For someone so intelligent, you can be exceptionally unobservant."

"Please," she begged. "Please just tell me."

He took one of her hands and placed it, palm down, above his heart, "She has not held a place here in a very long time, Hermione. It would seem that there is only room for one bossy witch at a time."

Tears welled in her eyes and her voice was thick, "You've been inside my mind more than once. You know that I'm… that I… how I feel about you."

"Yes," he confirmed softly. "And though I find you to have rather appalling taste, I consider that the greatest gift anyone has ever given me."

"Do you… am I… am I alone in feeling that way?"

Severus pressed his lips to hers, long fingers tangling in the mass of curls at the nape of her neck, "Do I seem like an inconsistent man, prone to giving my heart freely, Hermione?"

"I don't…"

He pressed her palm harder into his chest, "Do I?"

She let out a shaky breath as he kissed her again, "N-no…"

"Then you already have your answer," his obsidian eyes were like liquid fire as he traced the features of her face. "How could I _not_ love you, you insufferable woman?"

Hermione felt her magic hum with contentment as the fog lifted from her mind. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest, "That is not fair, Severus. Suddenly I can't seem to remember why I ever believed her in the first place."

"Then perhaps," he pressed his lips to her curls, "you should not make a habit of doing so."

She looked up at him, enraptured by the way his onyx eyes practically hypnotized her, "Why is she so possessive of you?"

He shrugged a little, "She has always needed worshipping from lesser mortals to feel content with herself."

"But—"

"Enough," Severus chided gently as he brushed back a few errant curls from her face. "Do not waste another moment thinking of her. I certainly don't."

That confession quelled that last of her anxiety. "And…" Little blue sparks slid from the tips of her fingers between his buttons to nuzzle against the skin of his chest. "Are we still sticking to the 'after the potion is created' rule?"

Severus let out a barking laugh, "Never in my wildest fantasies did I imagine finding myself a witch half my age who was positively keen on divesting me of clothing and getting me into bed at every opportunity."

She bit her bottom lip, toying with one of his buttons, "So that would be a…?"

He tackled her onto the rug in front of the hearth, long limbs like a cage around her as he bent his head down until his breath tickled her lips, "That rule is final, you shameless witch. But that does not mean we are barred from other… _activities_ while the first potion attempt simmers for the next two hours. Shall I attempt to demonstrate my affection for you so that you have no further reason to doubt me?"

Hermione fisted her fingers in his shirt and promptly tore it open.


	16. Confringo

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I do not own a single thing from the Harry Potter universe. Direct your thanks to J.K. Rowling, if you please.**

 ***When life give you lemons... well, you have lemons. And I sure do love lemons.***

* * *

16\. _Confringo_

She could feel him tracing lazy patterns across her lower back, his warm breath ghosting across her bare shoulder blades that he was currently using as a pillow.

"You cannot be comfortable like that," Hermione murmured, face firmly mushed into the pillowcase.

"Mmmm," Severus hummed against her skin noncommittally.

"Should I move? Make room for you?" She asked through the fog of sleep that was already threatening to drag her under.

"No," he said quietly, almost too quietly for her to hear. "You are exactly where I want you to be."

"Mmmm," she hummed right back in the midst of a yawn. "Carry on then."

x-x-x

 _"Why are you staring at me?" He snapped, cheeks flushed scarlet. "I seem to remember such a thing is considered_ rude _."_

 _"I…"_

 _His hand quickly snatched the torn shirt from the floor and he let his dark hair form a protective curtain around his burning face, "Forgive me. I knew this wasn't… I should have anticipated... your disappointment—"_

 _She yanked the fabric from his grasp and tossed it behind the sofa before turning back to gawk at him further, "Severus, you are… wait. Wait, wait. You think this," she gestured towards her bewildered face, "is conveying_ disappointment _? That is so odd. I was under the impression that you were intelligent. My mistake."_

 _Severus opened his mouth to undoubtedly snarl at her cheek when Hermione placed her fingers over his lips._

 _"I am staring," she began slowly, eyes hungrily devouring the sight of him in nothing more than his unbuttoned trousers, "because I'm finding it rather hard to believe that you could possibly be mine."_

 _He rolled his eyes even as he blushed further, "I already agreed to touch you, you shameless vixen. Delusional flattery is not necessary to that end."_

 _"You think that stroking your ego is how I would go about convincing you to touch me? And here I thought you actually knew me."_

 _His breath caught as she dragged her fingers down his slender chest, "Then perhaps you should enlighten me… on the alternate methods you would choose."_

 _"I have no prior experience with this kind of thing," Hermione admitted shyly, "but my research has led me to believe I would not necessarily need to_ do _anything."_

 _"O-oh?" Severus stammered when her nails scraped his rather pronounced hipbones. "And what kind of… research would that be?"_

 _She pulled her hands away long enough to tug her jumper over her head, flushing when she saw his intense eyes drink her in for the first time, "Let us call it, 'an in-depth study of Severus Snape'."_

 _When he spoke again, it sounded as if his throat was incredibly dry, "Hermione…"_

 _"Oh this?" She gestured nonchalantly to her naked chest. "I Vanished my underthings while you were distracted with your shirt. But now, back to my research."_

 _Severus simply stared at her, dumbfounded at the sight of her bare skin and breasts, "R-right. Research. Of course. Yes."_

 _Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged herself to him, skin to skin, wringing a tiny whimper from his throat, "Before, you tried to claim that this- us- was nothing more than a product of my magic's influence. Perhaps that might have been true in the beginning, but you overlooked one glaring detail."_

 _"I did… did I?"_

 _"Mmhmm," she confirmed, tilting her head up to catch his attention. "You overlooked the fact that I'm not blind, Severus, nor am I naïve. I saw the way you watched me when I entered a room, the way your eyes narrowed when Harry would sit just a little too close in Potions. I felt your body's reaction to kissing me, and the way your muscles would tense when I was near. You may tease and say that I'm unobservant, but I assure you- I noticed everything. I am fairly certain I didn't need to convince you because it was only a matter of time before this inevitably happened anyway."_

x-x-x

"Hermione?"

"Hmmm?"

There was a long pause, "You are beautiful, intelligent, clever…"

She let out a sleepy chuckle, "I already touched you, you ridiculous man. Delusional flattery is not necessary to that end. Just give me an hour and I would be more than happy to provide a repeat performance."

Severus did not laugh, instead she cracked an eye to see him lounging against the headboard with a pensive look on his face in the dim light of the dying fire. She rubbed the heel of her palm into her eye to relieve the sudden itching. What was wrong with her vision? She could have sworn there was a faint pink tinge to the room.

His brow furrowed though he did not look at her, "Why do you want me?"

Hermione was lying on her stomach but pushed herself up onto her elbows so she could see him better, "Severus… what are you talking about?"

His head fell back against the headboard, voice soft in the strange pink dimness, "You could have anyone you wanted. Why are you settling for someone like me?"

She wrapped the sheet around herself and sat up with her legs folded beneath her, nudging his knee with her hand, "I rather like the man I have chosen, so I would appreciate it if you'd have a little respect for him."

He was about to respond when a sharp alarm sounded from his wand somewhere on the floor. Severus let the sheet fall from his hips as he moved from the bed, hair hanging over his face as he crossed the room completely starkers. He quickly pulled on his trousers and torn shirt before plucking his screeching wand off the stone floor, "That will be the potion. Go back to sleep."

Before Hermione could get another word out, the door was clicking shut behind him.

x-x-x

 _She could barely breathe._

 _Not with the weight of his body atop hers, but with the weight of wanting him._

 _How was it possible that she wasn't on fire? She was, wasn't she? She had to be. It felt like every nerve ending in her body was being replaced with individual strands of Fiendfyre, threatening to burn until there was nothing but ash in its wake._

 _And he was absolutely thrusting her to the brink of blissful insanity._

 _"Severus," Hermione gasped as he worried the sensitive skin at the junction of her shoulder. "Severus,_ please _. You're going to drive me mad at this rate."_

 _His husky laugh against her moistened flesh only furthered the torture, "You act as if I should be thrown in Azkaban for wanting to take my time."_

 _Her eyes flitted to the clock above the mantle and she groaned, "You have been taking your time for almost half an hour now. I appreciate the thought, but for the love of Merlin-_ touch me _before I lose what little grip on reality I have left."_

 _Severus' hand slid up from her hips to drag across the sharp dip of her waist and she tensed. His thumb brushed the underside of her breast and she whimpered._

 _But then he stopped._

 _"Severus, I swear on all that is holy- I will hex you into next week if you…" She looked down to see that he was frozen in place, watching her hesitantly and then she noticed his hands, which were_ so close _to where she wanted them, were visibly trembling. He was so confident before… "Severus? What is it? Why did you stop?"_

 _"I…" His cheeks tinged crimson and he looked away from her. He sat up, removing his hands from her body altogether as he sat back on his haunches and continued to stare at the other side of the room. "I have never… I'm not certain how to..."_

 _Hermione burst into relieved laughter and slumped back against the rug, "_ That _is why you stopped? Oh for Merlin's sake!"_

 _His signature sneer was already beginning to fall back into place as he pulled away from her but she quickly caught his hand before he could leave. He looked exactly like a deer ready to run from a predator and it took all she had to reign in another round of giggles at his theatrics._

 _"At what point did you get the impression that I had any idea what I was doing either?" She asked honestly, tugging on his wrist. "It was probably when the placket of your trousers refused to cooperate with my clumsy fingers, right? Or was it when I almost broke your nose in my haste to kiss you?"_

 _His muscles relaxed._

 _"You are the first person to ever kiss me, let alone see me like_ this _. Do you really think it matters to me that you're learning as we go, too? If anything, it makes me feel better to know that there's not a slew of memories for me to contend with."_

 _Severus' face softened and he slowly resumed his place above her, fingers coming to encircle her breast. She arched her back at his touch, completely disregarding the twinge of pain such a move caused along her bruises, and gasped sharply when the pad of his thumb brushed across her erect nipple, "If I hurt you…"_

 _"I highly doubt that you will," she said rather breathlessly, "but in the unlikely event that you do, I'll let you know. Now, for the love of all the Gods, stop the damn worrying and do that again."_

 _At her eager, almost desperate response to his touch, he grew incrementally more confident. His large hands began gently kneading her breasts and Hermione's fists clenched against the rug._

 _"Tell me what feels good," he purred in her ear as he experimentally rolled her nipples between his fingers, smirking when she shivered. "I want to know how to make you fall apart for me."_

 _She nodded furiously, bottom lip firmly trapped beneath her teeth and body thrusting into his touch even further. When he lowered his head and flicked his tongue across one dusky, hardened tip, Hermione found her hands bunched in his hair, "Jesus, Merlin, and baby Buddah…"_

 _"The only one…" He murmured possessively against the skin of her chest. "The only one to ever see you like this…"_

 _"The only one," Hermione confirmed between sharp breaths. "The only one who ever will."_

 _Severus groaned and began suckling at her breast like a man on a mission, first hard then soft, pulling her nipple gently between his teeth over and over until her knickers were positively flooded with arousal._

 _Now she finally understood what her friends back at Beuxbatons had meant when they talked about seeing stars; his mouth on her skin had her nearly blinded by the twinkling of the entire galaxy._

x-x-x

She found him in his favorite armchair staring blankly at the fire burning in the hearth. Wrapping the sheet around herself a little tighter, Hermione sunk down onto the sofa, legs pulled up so she could rest against the arm and face him.

If he noticed her presence, he did not acknowledge her.

"Will you please tell me what has you so upset?"

There was no answer, not even the twitch of a single muscle.

Her voice was uncertain, "Do you… do you want me to go?"

Finally, he sighed, his breath breaking through the faint pink mist that swirled about the room, "I want a great many things. That's the problem."

"Severus… I… if you want me to help, you'll have to be a little more descriptive than that."

His dark, vulnerable eyes flickered to hers briefly, "I am not entirely certain that this was a good idea."

She recoiled but did her best to sound nonchalant even as the pain lanced through her heart, though she was not sure it worked by the way he cringed, "Regretting it already? That was fast. I at least expected you to need to sleep on it first."

"Regret?" Severus scoffed quietly. "Hardly. _That_ is the problem. I do not regret it at all."

"How exactly is that a problem? I would think that would be a good thing."

He stood, turning away from her, "Perhaps it would be best if you were to return to your room."

Bewilderment, confusion, and indignation welled up inside her and she nearly jumped from the couch and stormed over to him, though the dramatic effect was rather ruined by his ridiculously soft white sheet that was wrapped around her chest, "Oh no, not a chance. You are not going to push me away without at least giving me an explanation first. You owe me that much!"

Severus attempted to step around her but she refused to allow it, hands planted on her hips as she glared at him. His fists and teeth clenched, " _Move_."

"No. Not until you tell me why you're trying to get rid of me."

"Move or I _will_ move you, girl!"

Hermione let out a disbelieving huff, "So that's it, is it? You find me agreeable enough to use for physical pleasure but nothing more? Is that the way of it then? Was Lily right?" She scoffed to hide her nausea. "Unbelievable. I really am just your whore, good for nothing but—"

In one swift motion, Severus threw Hermione over his shoulder and stalked into the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. He plunked her down on the floor in front of the mirror and there was fire in his eyes as he loomed behind her.

"My whore?" He snarled into the mirror at her. "You think you are _my fucking whore_?"

Tears stung her eyes as she looked away from their reflections, "What else would you have me think? Already you're trying to send me away."

Severus' hand came around to grip her chin and force her to look at the mirror, at them, "I confess how I feel for you- which was exceptionally fucking difficult for me, I might add- and you have the audacity to refer to yourself as my _whore_? As if I am interested in nothing more than how many times you can make me…" He bit back another snarl and moved to grip her shoulders. "Look at yourself, look at _me_ , and tell me that's what you really think. Look at us and tell me that is all you see there."

Hermione forced herself to look, really _look_ , and found that she couldn't honestly say that. They were both marked by the other, she on her neck and him on his collarbone. But it was more than that. They looked _right_ , they _fit_ together. Short and wild, tall and reserved. Bronze and alabaster, dark and light.

As if they were meant for each other- two halves of a whole.

"Unless you can look at us this way and honestly say that's what you think, I do not _ever_ want to hear you say that again. Do you understand me?"

She nodded softly.

Severus let out a long breath before reaching out to lean his hands against the sink, trapping her between his body and the mirror. He watched her through the reflective glass as he spoke, "I thought that I loved you before…" He began slowly. "I thought I knew what that felt like."

"But?"

Severus moved to wrap his arms around her, holding her tight as if he was afraid she would disappear, "But now, I find that what I felt before this night was only a small fraction of what I'm actually capable of."

Her eyes welled with tears again, "Severus…"

"The things we shared, though we did not…" He cleared his throat, sharp cheeks tinged with a blush. "I want them only with you. Everything we have, I only want with you."

"I'm still not exactly seeing the problem."

"The problem that absolutely terrifies me," Severus nearly whispered, "is that you have bewitched me and I do not believe I will be able to let you go."

"Why on earth would you have to? I am content exactly where I am."

"One day, we will be free of your father," he sighed. "One day, you will not need me anymore. If, when that time comes, you want to be free of me as well, then of course I would never stop you. But… I have let you in now, Hermione. I have given you pieces of myself I didn't know were there to give. You foolishly worry over my feelings for Lily when the things I feel for you are miles beyond anything I ever imagined I felt for her. You have my heart, Hermione. _All_ of my heart. What am I to do if you outgrow me? All of this could very easily serve to break me someday."

"I will be the first to admit that I'm not a Seer and I place little to no stock in Divination as a whole," she admitted, turning to cup his severe face. "But were I to employ a Seer and were they to look into my future, I could all but guarantee you would be there. You have this misconception that because I'm young, that I'm going to change my mind about you. Do I seem like the rest of these dunderheads to you, Severus? Do I seem fickle and unsure?"

The corners of his lips twitched, "No, Hermione. You do not."

"Then I need you to have just a little more faith in me. I know what I want, Severus. And what I want is you- in any way I can have you. Though, preferably all of you, if I'm being perfectly honest. But I can only do so much- you have to _let_ me love you."

He took a deep breath and faltered, "I might fail you many times before this is all over. I might not live up to your expectations of me when the threat of war is no longer looming over us."

"Yes, well I could argue the same..." Hermione wrinkled her nose, distracted by the thick pink smoke that she just noticed was wafting into the bathroom. "Do you see that?"

As if in a trance, Severus backed away from her and further into the smoke, scratching idly at his left forearm even as he shook his head, "I might not be good enough for you."

"Severus, I think something's wrong—"

"No. No, no, no," he kept shaking his head. "This is not a good idea. _We_ are not a good idea. You should leave."

Hermione silently summoned her wand and waved away the smoke in the bathroom with a sharp flick of her wrist. She gave him a few seconds of breathing the purified air before speaking, "Better?"

"Immensely," Severus frowned, rubbing his forehead. "Everything in my mind felt… trapped? Murky? My thoughts continued to grow progressively darker. Nothing else could break through; trying to think of anything positive felt like trying to run underwater."

"Do you think it has something to do with the pink smoke I Vanished? I've been noticing it hanging around for the past few hours but it only just grew thicker."

"Pink…" His eyes widened and after casting a quick Bubble-Head Charm around his face, he darted from the bathroom, Hermione right on his heels. She followed him into his lab where he stared into a lone brass cauldron with a disbelieving expression. The thick pink smoke was indeed emanating from the cauldron, rolling off in heavy waves, and Severus took a moment to dip his stirring rod into the liquid a few times before quickly decanting it into six small glass vials with a flick of his wand. He did not remove the Bubble-Head Charm until all of the vials had been stoppered and sealed with wax. When he did dispel the charm, he ran a hand over his mouth before letting out a breathless laugh.

"Severus?" Hermione approached his workstation slowly. "What is it?"

Severus turned his molten obsidian eyes on her, his face looking younger than she had ever seen it, "The potion will work."

"How can you be sure?"

"The smoke- it brought out the worst properties in the Dark Mark, which is why I was trapped with only dark thoughts. It must have been seeping out of the cauldron for the last few hours now. I knew that if the potion was brewed properly in a way that would work, the first indicator would be a cloud of thick, pink smoke. The second would be the color of the potion- like liquid mercury."

Hermione slumped onto the bench next to him, a million emotions coursing through her all at the same time, "You… you did it? On the first try?"

He was just as shocked as he nodded, "On the first try."

There was no help for it. She leaned against his shoulder and breathed, "Holy shite."

Severus rested his head atop hers as they stared at the six identical vials filled with shimmering silver liquid, "Holy shite, indeed."

x-x-x

 _"Do you trust me?"_

 _"Of course," her words came out shaky, not because she was distrustful, but because she was trembling with desire to the point where her teeth nearly chattered. "Of course I do."_

 _She was naked on his bed and he was clad in nothing but his shorts; his long, lean frame stretched out near her thighs. The dim candlelight glinted off his multitude of scars and cast him in a warm, sensuous glow. She had been aching for him the moment his trousers pooled at his feet, but when she noticed the extreme tenting at the front of his shorts, Hermione felt as if he had thrown petrol on the fire. The deepest parts of her thrummed with want, with_ need _. It was a wonder she could speak at all._

 _"Then just relax," he purred, nudging her knees apart so his shoulders could fit between her thighs. "There is something I would like to try."_

 _Her friends had told her about this and a few had been annoyed with how reticent their boyfriends had been about the whole thing, leading her to believe that it was something generally distasteful to most men. Hermione immediately went to close her legs, suddenly feeling very awkward and exposed, but Severus was insistent as he nestled between them, "You… Severus, I… there's no obligation, I promise."_

 _He chuckled, his warm breath caressing her most intimate area that was already dripping for him, "Has it occurred to you that I want to?"_

 _She could feel that fire low in her belly, twisting at the thought of his mouth_ there _, but her overzealous brain just would not shut up, "I just thought… I heard most men… they don't…"_

 _"Mmmm, is that so? How curious," Severus leaned forward and lapped his tongue along her slick quim in one long, broad stroke until he came to swirl about her nub._

 _"Oh_ Gods _," Hermione whimpered, eyes rolling back as he repeated the motion over and over and over again. When he suckled gently at her clit, she nearly wept. "Holy sweet fucking Merlin…"_

 _His fingers flexed against her inner thighs and she gasped, "Most men don't, do they? More fool them for their idiocy, then. You, my lovely little one, taste like Heaven."_

 _He peppered short, soft kisses against her lower lips and Hermione's back arched off the bed. She needed… she needed… she wasn't sure what she needed exactly, all she knew was that she need_ more _._

 _Severus groaned, "I absolutely_ love _when you cannot control your thoughts. You are practically shouting them at me. Of course I will give you more, Hermione. I will give you anything you desire."_

 _Her brain, while almost a pile of unsalvageable mush, cried out for the only thing it knew it wanted and somewhere, somehow Hermione vaguely registered that he was chuckling again._

 _"Anything but_ that _. Rules are rules for a reason, darling."_

 _Darling. He called her 'darling'. Had a word ever sounded so beautiful from his mouth? She seriously doubted it. Suddenly, that was the only thing she wanted to hear- in that exact tone of voice- for the rest of her hopefully long life._

 _"You like that?" His tongue flicked over and into her sex and Hermione whimpered again. "You like hearing what my traitorous heart has been calling you for weeks now?"_

 _When she didn't respond, he stopped and moved his mouth away from her. Her head snapped up, eyes wide and beseeching._

 _Dark eyes bored into hers, "I asked you a question, darling. I would like an answer."_

 _"Oh Gods,_ yes _," Hermione groaned, head falling uselessly back against the pillow. "Never, never stop calling me that."_

 _Severus moved until he was positioned beside her on the bed, his lips at her ear and his fingers sliding across her swollen folds, "I will call you anything you like for as long as you allow, Hermione. All you have to do is ask nicely."_

 _Her vice-like grip on his shoulder would probably leave finger-shaped bruises tomorrow but the only thing her mind could grasp was that with each pass of his fingers, she came closer and closer to the edge. Had it ever felt this good when she'd touched herself? That thought was almost laughable- of course it hadn't. Nothing else would ever feel like this, nothing else would ever be comparable. Experience or not, he was conducting her pleasure like he was born to do it, as if it was the most natural thing in the world that just came to him as easy as breathing. The wizard rubbed slow, tortuous circles around her swollen nub and there was no holding back the wail of ecstasy that slipped past her lips._

 _How he made sense of her babbling, she'd never know, "I... so much... need... nggghh... holy_ fuck _..."_

 _"Such a vulgar girl," Severus crooned in that smooth, sinful voice. "Unable to stop herself from cursing while my fingers play with her dripping cunt."_

 _Hermione gripped his wrist, nails digging into his skin, "S-so close... so close... I n-need..."_

 _His erection pressed into her thigh and even he sounded a bit breathless, "Ask nicely, darling. Ask nicely and I will give you what your body needs."_

 _"S-Severus… please, please..._ _s-so good, but_ please _..."_

 _His hand moved faster, "Do you have any idea what your begging does to me, my lovely girl? Do you have any idea what_ you _do to me?"_

 _"Tell me," she begged, toes curling against the sheets as she came just a little bit closer, as the fire burned just a little bit hotter. "Please, Severus, tell me."_

 _Severus dipped his finger into her channel and brought some of the abundant moisture out to slide the pad of it across her swollen, needy clit- his words slipping across her psyche like dark, creamy Acromantula silk, "Naked and sweating across my sheets, you look like a piece of art. So beautiful, so impossibly lovely that you must be a figment of my imagination. But when you say my name like that, when you moan the syllables as if you've been robbed of breath, I find myself fighting not to bury myself as deep within your tight little quim as I possibly can."_

 _Hermione's eyes slipped close- she couldn't watch him say such filthy things to her without losing what little control she had left. Her lower lip was torn to shreds with the effort of stifling her cries. She was so tense, so tightly wound- like a coil ready to spring…_

 _"Every sound you make, every word you speak goes straight to my cock. I am eternally torn between wanting to make love to you as if you were made of glass and wanting to fuck you like a Knockturn Alley whore."_

 _It was so close now, like water filling a glass. She could feel it only a few, scant inches from crashing over her and dragging her under. Her arms started to tingle, her skin flushed. So close…_

 _"I wonder how you will ask me for it?" He mused, nipping at her lobe. "Perhaps some days you will want me to take you to bed and worship your body like the goddess you are, with soft kisses and sweet words. Then perhaps other days," Severus started sliding his fingers in a myriad of patterns around her clit, faster and faster when she arched her back and begged for more, "you will want me to shove you against the mirror and just pull down your knickers enough for me to fuck you from behind, pulling your hair and biting your neck until you come all over me. Because I think we both know just what a dirty girl you can be, don't we? Would you like to watch me fuck you, Hermione? Would you like to watch my face as I come, chanting your name with each thrust of my hips? Hmmm?"_

 _"S-Severus…" Hermione cried. "Severus, I… I…"_

 _"What do you think of the picture I have painted for you, darling? Am I close? Or am I wrong and would you prefer to ride my cock until your legs give out?"_

 _With that, Hermione felt her entire world shatter into a thousand sparkling pieces. Wave after wave of fiery, glittering pleasure crashed over her as she came against his hand, grinding herself against his palm shamelessly as he pumped his fingers in and out of her pulsating channel._

 _"So beautiful," he breathed in awe as he watched her ride out the very first orgasm he'd given her. "Absolutely lovely. You cannot imagine what you look like right now."_

 _"S-Severus…" She gasped one final time, clinging to his shoulder as the fluttering of her walls finally receded. Her breathing was heavy while she attempted to catch her breath but he simply held her close, stroking her even bushier curls until she came back to reality._

 _"Have you returned to the land of the living, lovely girl?" Severus asked rather smugly._

 _"No, I'm fairly certain I died and went to Heaven. But thanks for asking."_

 _She could feel his smile as he kissed her damp forehead, "Then my ego has been appeased."_

 _Hermione looked up at him, poking his cheek experimentally with her finger, "Amazing. Your head is_ already _swelling. However are you going to fit through the door in the morning?"_

 _He shrugged, completely unconcerned, "Considering that was my first experience with something of that nature, I would say I'm allowed to be a little proud of myself. You did nearly pass out, after all."_

 _"Yes well, saying things like_ that _with your voice should be illegal. I intend to write to the Ministry as soon as I can feel my arms again."_

 _"Mmmm… I cannot say I'm thrilled at the prospect of the entire Wizarding World knowing about how easily I can make my witch come with only a few filthy words. I would like to petition to veto that letter you intend to write, if I may."_

 _Hermione couldn't help the sly smile that spread across her lips, "_ Your _witch?"_

 _One heavy, black brow lifted in question, "You intend to argue?"_

 _"On the contrary," she moved towards the end of the bed to tug off the deliciously tight black shorts that hugged his thighs in the most sinful way. "I can feel my arms again and I have much more creative ideas for how to spend my time."_

 _Ten minutes later, with her fingers flexing against his thighs and her mouth around his cock,_ he _was the one begging_ her _for more._

x-x-x

"Are you going to tell the Headmaster?"

His black, silky head popped up from between her thighs, his lips rather shiny and slick in the candlelight, "You're wondering about that _now_?"

Hermione pushed herself onto her elbows so she could look down at him, "My brain doesn't just shut off, even when you're doing your best to distract me. You should know that. I just… I was thinking that we should come up with a plan first, about how we are going to use this potion, before we tell him we finished it ahead of schedule. Like you said before, he may find I'm no longer useful and throw me back at Tom's feet."

Severus nodded in agreement, "That may be for the best. We can start devising our plans in the morning. Now, may I please continue?" He nipped at the sensitive inner flesh of her thigh. "Or would you like to think about Albus some more?"

She fell back against the mattress, "And you said _I_ would be the insatiable one?"

He dove, headfirst, back into his task between her legs, his tongue tracing positively wicked designs onto her swollen flesh until she was squirming and unable to remain still, "Are you complaining, darling? I can always stop if you wish..."

That telltale fire was already smoldering in her abdomen again and she could feel herself winding tighter and tighter beneath his insistent, hyper-focused ministrations, "Not a fucking chance."

* * *

 ***Am I the only one sweating? Lord help me.***


	17. Lumos

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Much as I wish it were me, J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.**

* * *

17\. _Lumos_

The tension was palpable as the gray-and-green clad quartet huddled together against the far, secluded corner of Moaning Myrtle's lavatory. Blaise, never one for sparing feelings, had thrown a textbook through the wailing ghost when they had first arrived to drive her off. Hermione felt guilty about hurting the girl's feelings but had to admit that her absence from their conversation was probably for the best.

Most especially when you considered who all of their parents were.

Hermione took a moment to look at each of her somewhat haggard-looking friends before pushing forward, "I was dragged to a Revel myself, so I know how traumatic it is to even _think_ about remembering it but… you were all there longer than I was and you saw much more than I did. Please, I wouldn't ask this of you if it wasn't important- I promise."

It had been nearly a week and Pansy was still mostly nonverbal so Hermione turned her attention to the boys instead.

Blaise let his head fall back against the wall, eyes slipping closed, "I imagine that it's what brothels used to be like."

"Minus all the murder and torture, of course," Draco added shakily.

His friend shuddered without opening his eyes, "One would hope."

Hermione chewed her bottom lip as she considered this, "With everyone together in one place, a Revel truly seems like the best chance. Do you think it would be possible to get the potion into the water supply? To get them to drink it?"

Draco ran a hand through his white-blond hair, "I don't think it would matter, to be honest. From what I could tell- none of them stayed long after… getting what they wanted and most were conjuring their own alcohols of choice. Our house elves probably didn't even touch the Manor's water until everyone had gone."

"Damn it," she groused, twirling her quill. "There has to be a way… oh! What about getting them to ingest it with food? Could that work?"

Blaise pounded his dark fist against the floor, eyes hard as he glared at her, "Just what kind of Revel do you think we went to? Do you think they all sat around sharing tea and sandwiches, discussing the weather? They were _torturing and raping muggles_ , you daft bint. Most of them were enjoying the hell out of it, too. But maybe next time your fucking father throws a Death Eater luncheon, we can slip them all a little dose with their chocolate biscuits." He shoved himself to his feet before helping Pansy to hers as well. "Come on, Pans. You have homework to finish before class tomorrow."

"Blaise, please, I—"

But he and Pansy were out the door before she could finish.

"You'll have to cut him some slack for a while," Draco sighed. "He doesn't mean to lash out at you, he's just struggling to deal with it all."

"I…" She cleared her throat softly, stowing away her parchment and quill. "No, he has every right to be upset with me. I'm being far too clinical about this. I… I was fortunate enough to miss that part of the evening. Sev- ah, Professor Snape was able to get me away before then."

He let out a soft chuckle, "Yes, despite the front he puts up, Uncle Sev always has been rather soft. It doesn't surprise me that he would want to spare you from that. You should've seen his face when I fell into our lake for the first time as a child- ten seconds from complete hysterics, I swear."

But Hermione was too distracted by the guilt twisting in her gut form Blaise's angry departure to share in the fond memory of her keeper, "The Revel… whatever happened there was horrific enough to convince you all to defy your parents- to defy my father. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like."

All traces of humor were gone when he spoke again, "Despite what anyone thinks of us- we all love our parents. Maybe they aren't the warmest, most affectionate people, but we love them all the same. And to see them…" He took a deep breath. "I think it's harder for Blaise because his parents genuinely seemed to enjoy it. Don't get me wrong; every one of the Death Eaters there was high off their arses but Blaise's parents were smiling and laughing as they…they just looked so happy to be torturing innocent people. They looked so excited for Blaise to become a part of it."

She desperately tried to tamp down on the nausea clawing at her throat at the images his words brought forth. Had Blaise's parents been there the night she attended her first Revel? Had they been simpering before her father in their finery, anxiously awaiting the moment she was to torture Wendell? Yes, she rather imagined they had.

The mere thought was enough to break her heart for her friend.

"My parents were there," Draco said quietly, eyes far away, "and like everyone else, they were completely gone from the drugs but… they still managed to resist. My mother used only quick _Avada_ 's and my father used whatever spells would kill the quickest while spilling the most blood. They participated but they did so out of fear and obligation. Blaise's parents… it was like Christmas for them. And Blaise doesn't know how to react because, while he understands that what they were doing is wrong, he still loves them."

Hermione felt herself sag against the wall as his words hit her, but she could not quell her never-ending curiosity, "Please don't misunderstand but… how do you know your parents are different from his? How can you truly tell?"

Draco's steely gray eyes softened as a sad smile broke across his face, "Because my parents are the ones who go us out of there. They're the one who sent us to the Order."

x-x-x

"How is it that we are struggling so much with this? How is it that we can't seem to come up with a viable solution?"

Severus cast a nonverbal Stinging Hex at the muggle shop boy who was eyeing Hermione hungrily, "Plans such as this take time, Hermione. Your father has more than a hundred at his service and we must try to get the potion into as many of them as we can at once. Any other way would jeopardize the fragile advantage we have and almost certainly give us away."

Hermione absently plucked some knickknacks from the shelves, not really paying attention to what she was taking, "I understand that, Severus. I do. But we're quickly running out of time. The Headmaster will be demanding an update on our progress any day now. How much longer can we keep this a secret?"

Her keeper gently took one of the random items from her grasp, "Are you planning on giving Draco or Blaise the frilly knickers for Christmas?"

It was then that she realized just what a hodgepodge of items she had grabbed: gold satiny knickers, a bottle of cheap men's cologne, multicolored butterfly hair clips, and a money clip in the shape of a bear. She hastily shoved them all back on the shelf, "Now might not be the best time to try and buy gifts. I'm far too distracted at the moment. Can we just order some catalogues when we return to Hogwarts? That might be the only way I get any of this done."

He nodded, leading her out of the muggle shop with his large hand on the small of her back, "Of course. But for the record, I think those knickers would have looked quite lovely on you, darling."

She blushed as they stepped outside, the first snow of the season falling lazily onto their heads, "How would you even know? My knickers spend more time on your floor than on my body."

There was a rumble of laughter from deep within his chest as they walked, "I do rather prefer you without them. In fact…"

"Oh no, you don't," Hermione wacked his arm when she caught his lascivious grin. "It is finally Saturday and since everyone else is at Hogsmeade, you promised to get out of the castle with me for a few hours to keep me from going mad."

"I seem to recall we left the school around an hour and a half ago."

"Severus!"

Expecting annoyance, she was most surprised when he simply pressed his lips to her forehead, "I am yours to command, Princess. Lead on and I shall follow."

"I want to be irritated with your use of that horrid nickname," Hermione admitted, fingers slipping from his arm to twine in his, "but I find it seriously appealing when said in that particular tone of voice."

"Oh?" He pulled her into his side, mouth against her ear as he breathed. "And why is that… _Princess_?"

Her treacherous magic began to kindle the ever-present fire that was always just below the surface when he was around, "You know, it's the strangest thing. Suddenly I find myself in the mood for takeaway."

Severus pulled away from her and began walking again in long strides, forcing her to jog to keep up, "My deepest apologies, Hermione," he called over his shoulder. "But I promised to get away from the school with you for a few hours. What are you hungry for? It's my treat."

"You… utter… bloody… bastard…" She huffed in her attempt to keep pace. Did he have to nearly _run_? Merlin have mercy, he was going to kill her. "Slow… down…! Miserable… git…"

Taking pity on her, he actually stopped and waited for her to catch up, nearly bursting with laughter when she braced herself against her knees in an attempt to catch her breath, "Shall we Apparate to St. Mungo's before you expire? Merlin, witch, for someone so young you are in terrible shape."

She could almost feel her hair frizzing with irritation, "Magical schools' only physical education consists of riding a broomstick, you arse. And you know how I feel about _that._ "

Severus was still doing a poor job of suppressing his amusement when they managed to reach an Apparition point, "Where to now?"

Hermione was still grumbling under her breath, arms crossed firmly over her chest.

He tugged her arms away, leaning down to catch her annoyed gaze, "Will plying you with greasy pub food help me back into your good graces, Princess?"

She rolled her eyes but couldn't help the twitch at the corners of her mouth, "That would get you halfway there."

"And the other half?"

Hermione toyed with the buttons on his transfigured black peacoat, "That depends on your plans for this evening. I do believe I have another pair of knickers that have not seen your floor yet."

"How fortunate," Severus drawled as he pulled her close. "My schedule just opened up."

Neither of them noticed the pair of jade eyes framed by fiery auburn hair that watched them from a distance.

x-x-x

"I know what you're doing, Severus."

"Mmmm…" He murmured against the back of her neck, arm tightening around her waist. "I _thought_ I was sleeping."

She wiggled backwards a little, burrowing even further into the curve of his body, "I said I knew, not that I objected."

His voice was gravelly and rough, "What are you babbling about at such an ungodly hour, you insufferable girl?"

Hermione turned her head just a little, "You think either one or both of us are going to die before this war is over."

Every muscle in Severus' body seemed to lock in place.

"We could have had a plan the night you finished the potion. We both know that."

The only sound in the room came from the fire crackling in the hearth.

Hermione turned onto her back to see his dark eyes wide and staring at her. She traced her fingers along the severe features of his face, "You know that I won't just let him kill you, right? That I'll do all I can to prevent that, no matter what?"

His words were oddly strained, "Your safety is paramount. It's my job to ensure you survive."

"And _you_?"

"I…" Severus looked openly conflicted as he admitted the truth. "I just want more time with you."

"Because you find it impossible to believe you'll actually live to see the end of the war."

As quickly as it came, the vulnerable expression fell away and he slipped back into his typical sneer, "Impertinent chit. Is this what you woke me for? I should hex you for spouting such nonsense."

Hermione pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, palm curved around his jaw, "You know, I was thinking- what are your feelings on Manchester or Leeds? Both have quite promising double Runes and Arithmancy Apprenticeship programs that I would be interested in when this is all over. Unless you have a particular preference for Cokeworth? I'm sure the Floo network could be connected to wherever I end up if you do."

Severus was once again shocked into speechlessness.

"We _are_ going to make it through this, Severus," she said softly. "And when we do, if you decide you still want me, you'll need to know where I plan to be."

When it didn't look as if he was going to respond, Hermione turned back on her side and pulled his arms around her waist until he relaxed enough to curve around her again.

She was nearly asleep sometime later when she felt his lips against her wild curls, "Bossy, demanding, intolerable woman."

Hermione burrowed further into the pillow, "Mmmm… love you too, Severus."

x-x-x

A few short days later, it hit her.

Hermione was using a mortar and pestle to grind down some bicorn horns when Pansy, who had recently come back to life and was _supposed_ to be stirring their potion twenty-three times counterclockwise, had gotten a little too close to Hermione's mortar and sneezed directly into their bubbling cauldron, causing a violent reaction that exploded all over their entire table. Draco, Blaise, Pansy, and Hermione immediately found themselves covered in a slimy orange goo that had a myriad of effects on each of them. Draco morphed into a snowy white ferret that squeaked from beneath the pile of his clothing; Blaise grew webbed fingers and a second set of eyelids; Pansy spouted elk horns and a brilliant mane of dark purple hair down her spine; and Hermione's already large front teeth- much to her horror- continued to grow and extend until they reached her knees.

Severus rushed over to them, "What happened?" He snapped at the disfigured group. "None of you are dead or bleeding so I expect an explanation- _now_."

Draco squeaked again, his tiny ferret head poking out from the collar of his shirt. Pansy picked him up, along with his clothes, and rested him on her shoulder, "I got too close to the powdered bicorn horn, Professor. I-I accidentally sneezed into the potion."

"Have you learned nothing from me the past seven years?" He growled. "Bodily fluids are the most volatile things that can be added to a potion. Each person's body chemistry is completely different- there is no telling how a potion will react! Where is your head at, Miss Parkinson?"

"I'm sorry, Professor Snape. It won't happen again."

"Well it's a little too late for that, considering it has _already_ happened. Now what were you and Miss Granger brewing today?"

Hermione was desperately attempting to cover her overlarge teeth with her textbook so Pansy answered again, "W-we were practicing our Clarity of Thought potion, sir."

He leaned over the table, his voice razor sharp, "A Clarity potion is a deep red, Miss Parkinson. You and Miss Granger are well aware of this. If that is indeed what you were brewing, why is this one orange?"

The girls exchanged anxious glances for a moment before Pansy turned back to him, "W-we were experimenting with trying to add elements of the Felix Felicis potion, sir."

His expression darkened, " _Why_? I did not give permission to experiment with new potions today. Your instructions were to practice those which may appear on your N.E.W.T.s."

"I… uh…" The girl floundered underneath their Professor's harsh, almost cutting stare.

Severus' eyes flickered up to Hermione, one brow raised in question.

Hermione sighed and nodded; he knew her well enough that a single nod was all it took to admit her fault.

It was frightening to admit that she could not remember ever seeing him so angry before. Severus' expression went from simply dark to absolutely thunderous as he snarled at them all, "Twenty points from Slytherin from _each_ of you! Now get out of my classroom and to the Hospital Wing before you grow anything else. And I will be seeing you for detention tonight, Miss Granger. Perhaps then you will remember who the instructor is in this classroom."

The disfigured group scrambled from the Potion's classroom and was making their way towards the Hospital Wing when Pansy finally let out the breath she'd been holding, "Gods, I haven't seen Professor Snape that angry in a long time."

"Serves you both right," Blaise quipped, flexing his webbed fingers in front of his face with a grimace. "What the hell were you two doing, experimenting with potions anyway?"

Pansy looked to Hermione, who just shrugged, "Hermione thought it could help the Order, you know? Felix Felicis has a tendency to make you feel drunk, so if we could brew something that had the same effects on luck with the effects of a Clarity of Thought potion as well…"

His eyes widened, "Damn. That's actually a pretty good idea. Nice one, beaver."

Hermione punched his shoulder and Draco squeaked a few times in what she assumed was laughter.

Blaise snickered before tilting his head towards the other girl, "So, what, you just got too close to the powdered bicorn horn?"

Pansy nodded, "Barely took a breath and it went straight up my nose. Gods, I don't know how they do it."

"Do what?" Hermione managed from behind the teeth.

Blaise's expression hardened as he started walking faster ahead of them and Pansy turned to Hermione sheepishly, "At the Revel, everyone was using drugs. There were a lot of different kinds but the most popular looked like some kind of silvery powder they would snort into their noses. I was just making an offhand comparison… Shite, am I an idiot for saying that with Blaise around? I wasn't trying to upset him…"

Draco squeaked and butted her cheek with his tiny pink nose.

As Pansy's words danced about inside her mind, Hermione came to a dead stop on the stairs. Suddenly, everything clicked into place like a perfectly formed puzzle.

A powder.

They could turn the potion into a powder.

They could turn the potion into a powder and bring it to a Revel.

"Hermione?" Her friend turned back, knocking an antler against a wall sconce. "You okay?"

Hermione felt an incredible sense of clarity, warm and comforting, welling up within her and spreading throughout her body and settling in her limbs. She was nearly skipping- well, metaphorically considering the size of her teeth knocking against her knees- as she caught up with her friends at the top of the stairs, "Just fine. Come on."

Draco scurried onto Hermione's shoulder and rubbed against her cheek as they continued on to the Hospital Wing.

x-x-x

Unsure if she really had a detention or not, Hermione decided not to tempt fate and appeared at the door to the Potions classroom at exactly two minutes to 8 that evening. Before she could even raise her fist to knock, the door slammed open so hard it bounced against the wall behind it.

Well, that was definitely not a good sign.

Hermione cautiously stepped into the classroom only to hear the door immediately slam shut behind her, which was then followed by a pair of large hands gripping her shoulders so tight she winced, "My quarters, _now_."

She didn't dare turn around or speak considering she could nearly feel the fury rolling off of him, so she did as she was told and silently made her way into his chambers behind his office.

When they were well and truly alone, Severus rounded on her, "What the hell were you thinking, playing around with potions like that? Do you have any idea how disastrous that could have gone? Forget growing overlarge teeth or antlers, you could have been killed! You could have been poisoned! For someone so intelligent, you chose to do something exceptionally fucking stupid. Give me _one good reason_ why I should not have you in _actual_ detention for the rest of your bloody time in this godsforsaken school. Well? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Hermione couldn't help it. She really couldn't. She stepped forward- once, twice, three times- and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"If you think for one second that I will forget about the complete and utter idiocy you displayed today simply because you play innocent, you are mistaken. Do you truly think I'm so easily manipula—"

"I did it," she said into his chest, unable to keep the smile from her face. "I actually did it."

Severus gripped her shoulders and pushed her away so that he could glare at her, "You did what? Almost killed yourself? You are absolutely right, you _did_."

She shook her head, still smiling like a loon, "No, Severus, I…"

He caught her chin between his fingers, eyes narrowed, "What the hell did you do to your teeth? These aren't yours, they look different."

Hermione waved dismissively, "Madam Pomfrey just fixed them to be the proper size is all. What does that matter? They were atrocious before. I'm trying to tell you that—"

"I liked them."

"What?"

"Your teeth. I liked them before."

She huffed, "Severus, what in the world are you talking about?"

He blushed furiously, "I thought you were beautiful before. There was nothing to fix."

Hermione caught his hand, "I appreciate that, but you're babbling now and it's rather unsettling. What's wrong?"

Severus looked conflicted for a moment before crushing her to his chest, fingers fisted in her hair, "You could have killed yourself today, Hermione. Do you understand that? Do you understand how reckless you were?"

She could feel him physically trembling against her, "Whoa. Severus, hey- I'm just fine. I did my research before attempting that potion. I wasn't trying blind."

"If something were to happen to you…"

"Severus—"

"If you were to be killed…"

"Severus, love—"

"If I were to lose you, I would be destroyed. Do you know that?" He rested his forehead against hers. "Do you see how loving you nearly drives me mad? I do not tell you nearly enough, not nearly as much as you deserve, but know that I do with all that I am. And know that if you ever, _ever_ again do something as fucking reckless as you did today, you will answer to me- not as your lover, but as your keeper. Do you understand me?"

Hermione nodded, guilt gnawing at her from the truly frightened look in his eyes, "Of course, Severus. Forgive me. I should have consulted you first to make sure it was safe."

He let out a deep breath, "Stubborn, insufferable witch. You are going to do me in long before your father even gets the chance."

At the mention of Tom, her idea came back to her. She looked up at him with a huge grin, "It worked, Severus. I know it was dangerous, but it worked even with exploding all over us. On the way to the Hospital Wing, I finally came up with an idea for using the potion we created."

Severus kissed her softly, "Of course you did. Tell me, darling, before you steal all of my concentration for the remainder of the evening."

"The drugs," Hermione breathed against his mouth, even as her fingers knotted in the silky hair at the nape of his neck. "Powder the potion and mix it with the drugs at a Revel; considering the potency of the liquid potion, it should work. Pansy said almost everyone was using- we could get nearly all of them in one night."

His head slumped against her shoulder as he let out a breathy laugh, "My beautiful, brilliant, maddening girl. I am now entirely convinced that you're going to win this war all on your own. Are you certain you even need me?"

Her raw magic was already licking hungrily at his skin as she tugged at his many buttons, "Come into your room and I'll show you just how much I need you."

"Utterly insatiable," Severus chuckled affectionately, even as he did not fight her tugging him along. "And what of telling Albus? We can't keep in the dark now that we have a plan."

"Just give me tonight. Just give me a few more hours with you before we start down that path because there will be no turning back once we do," Hermione kissed him again, so fiercely she nearly cracked his aquiline nose. "Please, Severus. Just be here, be present with me tonight and then tomorrow, we'll deal with this."

"Your wish is my command, Princess," he swept her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom, plunking her down onto the mattress without an ounce of grace. "But tomorrow we tell him. The end is near; no more hiding."

"No more hiding," she agreed as his lip crashed against hers.


	18. Muffliato

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Only J.K. Rowling owns and makes money from Harry Potter. The rest of us are mere charlatans.**

* * *

18\. _Muffliato_

If you had asked her a year ago, Hermione could have given an entire list of things that were uncomfortable and caused her anxiety: public speaking, having something in your teeth while talking to someone, not having enough galleons for a purchase, sneezing or coughing loudly in a quiet room. Honestly, the list back then would have gone on and on. It was really a wonder that she ever managed to leave her dorm at Beuxbatons.

Now, sitting next to Severus in front of the Hogwarts Headmaster's desk in naught but her rumpled uniform at 7 in the morning- with a life changing potion between them- Hermione knew just how silly she had been. There was almost certainly nothing in the world more uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing than this.

Dumbledore tilted the little vial to the left, then to the right, then turned it upside down. Once he was pleased by whatever it was he was looking for, he set it down on the desk.

"And you are certain this potion will work?" He asked, eyeing them over his half-moon spectacles. "Have you tested it?"

Severus actually rolled his eyes, "Of course we haven't tested it. How exactly would we have done that without alerting the Dark Lord? The moment the potion is ingested, the body will be cleansed of Dark Magic. He is bound to feel it somehow, whether one person or ten people consume it, considering that his soul is intrinsically connected to all of us through our tattoos."

"Then how do you know this is the correct amalgamation?"

Hermione leaned forward when it looked like Severus was going to snap, "I have every confidence that my equation is correct, sir. But even if I was unsure, Professor Snape did his research on the individual ingredients and their combined effects- he determined that when the potion was brewed properly, it would be similar to liquid mercury and give off a heavy cloud of pink smoke. As you can see, the color is perfect and our first indicator was the smoke."

The old man steepled his fingers below his chin, "How much were you able to brew?"

This time, her keeper was the one who answered, "Including the one you hold, we have 5 identical vials."

Hermione internally sagged with relief at that- she had been hoping he would decide to keep one for himself… just in case.

"And are you able to brew more in the event we need it?"

He shook his head, "The remainder of the Unmelting Snow is unusable now. It was given to us for a specific purpose and since that purpose has, for all intents and purposes, been fulfilled, it will no longer work. What we brewed is all we have unless we can manage to find another Ice Nymph willing to help."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully, "Then we must use it wisely. I will call a meeting of the Order for this evening so we may discuss strategy. Good day, Miss Granger- Severus."

"Pardon me, sir," Hermione stood, unwilling to be dismissed so rudely just yet, "but we have an idea for how to use it as well."

"Oh?" He looked genuinely surprised, which irritated her to no end. "Then please, continue."

Her gaze flitted to Severus and he gave her a sharp nod, "I spoke with Draco and Pansy after they defected to the Order, to make sure they were alright. And they both mentioned something that I haven't been able to let go. They said that a large majority, if not _all_ , of the Death Eaters at the Revel had been under the influence of drugs. I'm not certain what kind, but I don't think the specifics really matter anyway. Pansy said that what she saw the most was a silver powder ingested through the nose. If we can powder the potion and mix it with the drugs before the next Revel—"

The Headmaster sighed, "Miss Granger, while I appreciate the effort I can see you've put into this…"

"There is no other way!" Hermione pushed forward, unbothered by the almost angry gleam in the old man's eyes. "Touching the liquid isn't enough- it only works from within the body. Draco assured me putting it in the water supply would be a waste and there's no way to get it into all of their food at the same time. Please, sir. If Professor Snape is right in believing that my father will somehow feel when a person is cleansed of the Dark Magic that anchors the Mark to their skin, then we need to get as many of them as we can at once- or at least within the same time frame. And mixing it with the drugs is the best chance we have at achieving that."

His words were sharp, "And how do you propose we do that, Miss Granger?"

"Nothing comes into the Manor without Lucius' approval," Severus cut in. "I'm certain I can ascertain the supplier from him."

Dumbledore's bushy eyebrows nearly disappeared below the rim of his utterly ridiculous wizard cap, "You would ask the Order to trust Lucius Malfoy? Second only to _you_ in Tom's ranks? Dear boy, I think you have sniffed one too many potion's fumes if you truly think—"

The look on her keeper's face was frightening as he snarled, "Lucius and Narcissa are the ones who helped the children escape from the Revel. They are the ones who sent them to the Order for protection!"

The older man looked genuinely surprised at that. It took a few minutes and myriad of facial expressions before Dumbledore spoke again, this time miles calmer than before, "Do we have enough time?"

Severus thought for a moment, "The next Revel is on Saturday."

"Can you do it in the next two days?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I will only need one or two vials of potion to powder at most and that will only take a few hours. I can visit Lucius by nightfall."

The Headmaster leaned back in his large chair, "If you truly believe that Lucius can be trusted with this, then you may seek his assistance. But first, I would like the remaining 3 vials of potion brought to me so I may keep them safe."

Hermione frowned, "Sir, I really think—"

But Severus cut her off, "I will bring them to you immediately."

"Good, good. Also, I fear I must point out that if either of you are caught in this, your protection with the Order ends. We cannot afford any casualties that might be incurred by trying to rescue you. Surely, you understand."

Though it took some serious tamping down on her furious magic, she managed to remain calm, "Of course, sir. We understand perfectly."

"Lovely," Dumbledore smiled. "Then you may go."

Hermione and Severus, both seething with anger at his disregard for their lives, made for the Floo when Dumbledore called out to them again, "Oh, and one more thing Miss Granger."

She turned.

"There is much to be done and I am afraid that I will be in the midst of most of it. Would you be so kind as to speak with Harry when you get a chance? He should know our plans and you would be the best person to explain it to him."

Her eyes narrowed, "Of course, sir. No problem."

The Headmaster smiled again before waving them off, "Yes, lovely. Just lovely. Away with you both, now. Much to be done!"

They were both still clenching their teeth and fists as they stepped into the flames.

x-x-x

A _Tempus_ charm flashed before her eyes, effectively snapping her out of her reverie, "Your first class begins in 10 minutes, Hermione. If you leave now, you can still make it on time."

She let her head fall back against the couch only to see him looming behind it, directly over her, with a disapproving expression on his face, "You're really going to make me go? When there's so much we have to do?"

He twirled one of her unruly curls around his finger, "You have already done far more than enough, you overachieving girl. This war is all but over thanks to you. So for now, go to class and if you get a chance, speak to Potter as Albus requested. Otherwise, there is nothing to do now but wait. I need to powder the potion this afternoon and then go see Lucius this evening. If we are lucky, he will already know where I can find the supplier and once I do, I will taint the next batch bound for the Manor. There is a very good possibility that everything will be in place before tomorrow evening. But I cannot do any of that if I'm distracted by the tempting young witch in my rooms."

"So basically, you're telling me to bugger off to my own bed tonight?"

Severus leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her forehead, "Yes, darling. Please bugger off so I can concentrate."

"Fine," Hermione conceded with a sigh, using her wand to straighten her clothes and make her hair a bit more presentable. "But don't think I've forgotten that you still owe me for our deal. We do have a working potion, after all."

He chuckled, his dark eyes nearly scorching her in their intensity, "Oh, I have not forgotten either, my lovely girl. I am simply waiting until we have no further…. _distractions_. You would not want my attention to be divided at such a time, would you?"

She shivered at the thought of that, "No. I would much rather monopolize it all."

"Good," Severus smirked, patting her arse and ushering her towards the door. "Then go to class. I will have one of the other Professors take over in Potions today so try not to explode any other cauldrons in my absence, alright?"

"I would never dream of it," Hermione stood on her toes to press a light kiss to his mouth. "Be safe, love."

He held her tightly for a moment before releasing her, "I will come for you as soon as I can. Now _go_ before I start taking House Points."

"Bossy git," with one final peck on his cheek, Hermione summoned her school bag and made for Arithmancy.

x-x-x

Severus was not in the Great Hall for lunch, as she knew he wouldn't be, and he was not in Potions to teach, as he said he wouldn't be. She knew what he was doing and she knew that it was vital he was doing it.

But the worry and anxiety still gnawed at her anyway.

Hermione was so caught up in it all that she didn't even realize class had ended.

Draco came sidling up next to her with her bag already in hand, "A lot on your mind, Granger?"

"Hmm? Oh, Draco. Hi. How are you?"

The blond boy grinned at her obliviousness, "I'm great now that class is over for the day. Speaking of which, would you like to take your bag so we can leave before the next group comes in? Blaise and Pansy have already left for the Quidditch Pitch."

"Huh? Oh! Oh, of course. Thanks for reminding me," she took the bag from him and slung it over her shoulder, falling into step beside him as they made their way from the classroom towards the castle proper.

Draco slipped his hands casually into his pockets, "So, where is lover boy today? Haven't seen him around to glare at anyone who gets too close to you and that is certainly a first."

Hermione blushed, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, "I have no idea what you mean, Draco. I'm not seeing anyone."

"No? Interesting. I wonder what Uncle Sev would say if he knew that's what you thought of your relationship?"

"Draco!" She hissed, punching his shoulder. "Just shout it to the entire castle, why don't you? Merlin have mercy, I thought Slytherins were all about subtlety!"

He burst out laughing, "Yes well, the way he looks at you is about as subtle as a Bat-Bogey Hex so…"

She stopped dead, eyes wide in horror, " _What?_ "

"Calm down, Granger," Draco tugged her arm to get her moving again. "I was just kidding. If anyone else has noticed, they haven't dared to say anything. Not that they would anyway- the Dark Lord's daughter and the evil bat of the dungeons? Gods, if _that_ isn't a terrifying couple."

"But you said—"

"I only noticed because I've known Uncle Sev my entire life. No one pays attention to him the way I do. Before you came, I _had_ to; no one else was going to look out for him. I mean really, you wouldn't even believe how many times I had to remind the stubborn git to eat something. It was like he'd forget that he couldn't just function on coffee and adrenaline."

Hermione smiled, "Actually, I _can_ believe that."

He nudged her shoulder, "So I'm right, then? You and Uncle Sev are…?"

She bit her lip and nodded.

"I knew it! Father didn't believe me, but I told him. Ha! He owes me fifty galleons."

"Your father wouldn't tell anyone else… right?"

"Hmm? No, just my mother. They're his friends, Granger- they know better than to bandy his business about. Especially considering…"

The lighthearted air around their conversation turned cold. Hermione gripped the strap of her bag a little tighter, "Yes. Considering."

Draco waited until they were outside the front doors to speak again, "He's away on Order business, isn't he?"

She nodded again, "Probably visiting your father right about now, actually."

The boy smiled as snowflakes settled in his hair, "Good. I was hoping my parents would summon the courage to help."

"They already were," Hermione scooped up a small mound of snow and chucked it at his head, smirking when it landed with a wet _splat_. "They saved you three, after all."

He wasted no time rolling his own pitiful snowball and hitting her square in the nose with it, "A snowball fight, Granger? While essentially discussing treason? I like your style."

She let her bag fall to the ground and wiped the snow from her face, "I figure it's either that or slip into hysteria so, you know- lesser of two evils."

Draco sobered at that, drying them both with his wand, "Whatever Uncle Sev is off doing… it's going to mean big things for the war."

"Yes."

"And whatever he's doing… your potion is involved."

Hermione slumped onto her bag facing the sparsely populated Quidditch Pitch, which had been their original destination, "Yes."

Draco copied her and sat in the snow with only his schoolbag under him, "You wouldn't be worried about him unless he was doing something dangerous."

"Gods, if that is not the understatement of the century."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Uncle Sev and my father have been friends for a very long time, Granger. If anything happens, father's wand will be at his back."

She sighed and leaned against him, "I really hope so."

For the remainder of the afternoon, they sat in silence- surrounded by Warming Charms and Draco's heavy cloak- watching the tiny figures on the Quidditch Pitch while the snow continued to fall around them.

x-x-x

Severus did not come for her that night and the little sleep she did manage to get was plagued by nightmares. He was a powerful wizard and he had been looking after himself for a long time before she came into his life, but none of that quelled her anxiety in the least. Every nightmare was progressively worse- Severus getting caught; getting caught then tortured; getting caught then tortured then murdered. By the time the alarm on her wand alerted her that it was time to get up, Hermione felt as if she had actually been dragged before her father and _Crucio_ 'd, rather than simply dreaming of it happening to Severus.

Hermione looked so haggard and exhausted the next morning at breakfast that the only person who even dared to speak to her was, of course, Draco and even then, he knew to keep it to a minimum.

Her classes passed in a blur and, for the first time in Hermione's life, she couldn't remember learning a single thing the entire day. She tried to take notes in Arithmancy, but nearly fell asleep on her parchment- only to be jolted awake by the ever-present vision of Severus, bloody and broken, behind her eyelids. Now that the Golden Trio weren't her enemies anymore, Muggle Studies with Weasley was tolerable but again, she nearly gave herself a concussion with how many times her head knocked into her desk for almost passing out. Ancient Runes was an absolute lost cause in her current state: the runes could have been written in Greek for all she understood, but a few of the Hufflepuffs she'd befriended were kind enough to help her finish her in-class assignment. Blaise, who was thankfully her partner in Potions, was the only saving grace that prevented another cauldron explosion; he caught her hand just as she was yawning and about to drop far too many porcupine quills into their potion. Of course he then cheekily remarked that for someone so pretty she really looked like shite, which in all truth she did, and Hermione had been so bone-tired that her brain couldn't even formulate a witty retort. She settled for jabbing her quill into his side instead, which only made her three Slytherin friends laugh harder. Blaise didn't let her touch their potion for the rest of the class.

x-x-x

The setting sun was just starting to cast golden shadows across the stacks as Hermione was attempting- and failing- to work on her essay that would be turned in alongside her NEWT project. Just as her head lolled forward, someone plucked the quill from her hand.

She looked up through bleary eyes to see Severus, his dark colors in stark contrast with the warmth of the library, smirking at down at her even as he waved his wand in the pattern that she recognized as _Muffliato_ , "You look as if you've been trampled by a hippogriff while I was away."

"Well hello to you too," Hermione clumsily shuffled her books and parchment in a shoddy attempt at shoving them back into her bag. Her arms itched with the desire to wrap themselves around his waist, just to feel that he was well and whole, but she was painfully aware of where they were so she resisted. "I probably slept a total of thirty minutes all night so pardon me for not looking like a glamour charm."

He chuckled quietly, "Has inhabiting my bed spoiled you so much? I am fairly certain all Hogwarts mattresses are the same."

"No, you arse. I was worried about you."

Severus quickly packed her bag and handed it to her, fingers brushing, "Foolish girl. You should know better than to lose sleep over me. You knew exactly where I was and what I was doing."

She yawned, glad that her exhaustion was keeping her virtually palpable relief at bay, "Yes well, that only made me worry more. I'm very happy to see you back in one piece, though. How did it go?"

His onyx eyes flitted about the nearly empty library before responding in a near whisper, "Exactly as we hoped. Now, we wait."

"One more day…" Hermione fiddled with the strap of her bag anxiously before looking up at him. "Can we really do this, Severus?"

"You were right, before. There is no turning back now that we've chosen this path," he rested a hand on her shoulder, eyes warm. "But neither of us are alone in this now. We will get through it together- everyone else be damned."

A tiny sliver of her anxiety abated and she nodded, "Together."

That shy, crooked smile- the one that she loved so much- broke across his face as he ushered her towards the exit, "Now, my darling, you are dead on your feet. I have to report to Albus first but will meet you in my chambers as soon as I can. Go and rest before you pass out."

Hermione shook her head, "No… I forgot, I still have to talk to Harry. I should—"

"You still have all of tomorrow, you stubborn chit. As your keeper, charged with your well-being, I am ordering you to _go and rest_. Understood?"

She really was just too tired to argue. Hermione sighed, "Alright, alright. Merlin, since when did you get so _pushy_?"

He raised one heavy, sardonic brow, "Severus Snape- nice to meet you."

"Good point," she yawned into her hand again. "Wake me when you return?"

Severus physically pushed her towards the exit this time, resuming his typical sneering façade as he swept past her in a billow of robes, "Not a chance."


	19. Nox

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: As much as I wish I was JKR, I am not and make no money or own any of this. I'm just playing around.**

* * *

19\. _Nox_

Hermione didn't even have to check the time when she opened her eyes; the residual fog from multiple nightmares mixed with the heavy, anxious knot lodged firmly in her gut told her all she needed to know.

It was Saturday.

The Revel was tonight.

There was no going back.

She sat up just in time to see Severus, clad in only his trousers and crisp white button-down, come through the door with a large mug of steaming tea. He slid onto the bed and handed her the mug before leaning back against the headboard. Hermione shuffled around until her arse was comfortably wedged between his long legs and, as if he'd been doing it all his life, Severus' arms wound around her waist and tugged her backwards until her back rested against his chest.

There were no words for a very long time.

Eventually, Hermione tilted her head back to see his dark eyes already watching her.

"Most days I cannot get you to stop talking," he observed quietly. "You are uncharacteristically silent this morning."

She didn't answer, opting instead to simply continue memorizing every line of his face.

"Hermione," Severus brushed his thumb across her cheek, "I never thought I would say this, but please- talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind."

Hermione shook her head a little.

"Why not?"

Her fingers came to trace his jaw, "I just want to make sure I remember your face. I'm not even certain that we retain our memories after death but—"

His eyes widened in alarm and he pulled her around into his lap. His hands gripped her face, "Listen to me, Hermione: you are not going to die tonight. Certainly not you, and hopefully not me. We've been through this, remember?"

Tears blurred her vision, "I'm not so sure anymore."

"Hermione—"

Visions of Severus' gore-spattered, lifeless face from her nightmares swam around behind her eyes and she gripped his shirt, "Before, when I thought the Headmaster would… I thought we could depend on him, on the Order if we needed help but now… He made it painfully clear that we are on our own in this. Tonight, the Death Eaters at the Revel will take our potion and then…" Hermione took a few shaky breaths before looking back at him. "My father will know it was us. He will. Who else would be able to pull off something like that? You and I are the only ones with access to both sides. He will know it was us. Do you really think he won't kill one or both of us in the most brutal way he can possibly imagine?"

Severus' onyx gaze was unwavering, "I understand your fears, Hermione. I do. But fear leads to mistakes and right now, we cannot afford to make mistakes. Albus informed me last night that Draco, Blaise, and Pansy are going to be sent to the secured safe house before the Revel tonight. Should the worst happen, you can hide out there for as long as you need. It is Unplottable and Secret-Kept, and I can assure you that the Secret Keeper would tell Albus to go to Hell before they turned you away. He may have withdrawn his assistance, but there are a few others in the Order that you can trust to protect you, should it come to that."

She ran the pads of her fingers down the prominent bridge of his nose, "I couldn't help but notice that all of your reassurances have nothing to do with your own safetyt."

He caught her hand and brought it to his mouth, pressing his lips to her palm, "That's because, while I have no intention of letting your father dispose of me, I would be a fool to think it possible to come out of this unharmed. I'm a better dueler than most, more adept with Dark and Light magic than the vast majority, but your father is… he's the Dark Lord for a reason. Underestimating him would be a fatal mistake, one that I do not intend to make."

"And you have no qualms about possibly sequestering me in a safe house somewhere while you are left behind to fight for your life."

Severus brought her hand to rest above his heart, "Absolutely not. I would send you to the moon if I thought it would keep you from getting hurt."

She crushed herself against him, palm pressed tightly into his chest and face buried in his neck, "And what about me? What about the things _I_ would do to keep you safe?"

"The way you care for me is more appreciated than you could ever know," he rested his cheek against her wild hair, "and should something happen, I will always cherish the time we've had together. But your safety, your wellbeing and health is paramount to all else. If that means sending you somewhere I have no means of reaching, with no knowledge as to when or if I will ever see you again, then so be it. I am your lover now, but I was your keeper first. And as your keeper, I swore to protect your life above my own. My word is my bond, Hermione. No matter how much I love you, no matter how much I want to be with you, I must honor it."

It made sense and she truly loved him for his overwhelming sense of loyalty and honor, but that didn't mean she had to like it at the moment, "Just this once, could you do me a favor and not be so gods-damned noble? The sentiment is nice but the implication is rather unpalatable."

Hermione could feel his lips curve into a smile, "While I am yours to command in all else, Princess, I'm afraid that this matter is non-negotiable."

"Then perhaps I could persuade you—"

Just then, the Floo in the sitting room came roaring to life with the Headmaster's disembodied voice, "Severus? Are you in, dear boy? I realize it's rather early, but the Order is set to arrive in my office at any moment and Alastor just requested my presence in the Main Hall to correct a slight issue with the new wards on the castle. I am not sure how long I will be gone so would you be so kind as to come through? I intended to detail this evening's plan myself but in case I do not return in time, I would like for you to tell them."

"Stay," Hermione murmured quietly against the skin of his slender neck. "Stay right here in this room and talk to me- touch me, kiss me- before the world goes to Hell tonight. Please."

"Know, my darling, that I would if I could," he tilted her chin up to brush his lips across her mouth sensuously. "But despite the phrasing, I can assure you that Albus did not just make a request. He gave an order. So as much as I would rather spend the remainder of this day in bed with you…"

"Severus?" The Headmaster called again.

"I will be there in a moment, Albus," the older wizard sighed when the flames died away and brushed back a few errant curls from her shoulder. "I should go before he comes clambering through my Floo to find me and instead, finds you." Severus stood, summoning his usual black frock coat and teaching robes from their place in the sitting room and donning them appropriately. "Will you be alright? Or should I get you a Calming Draught?"

Hermione shook her head and forced the most convincing smile she could manage, "I'll be just fine, Severus. I still need to go find Harry and tell him what's going on so I imagine that will keep me distracted for a little while. Go do what you have to do and just come find me whenever you are finished."

He leaned over the bed and kissed her languorously, his tongue sliding past her lips to delve into her mouth and dance behind her teeth. She let out a tiny whimper and went to grab his robes when he pulled back, dark eyes smoldering from under his lashes, "When I return, we will continue. Take some time today to think of all the things you would like me to do to you- _all_ of them, Hermione- and then keep a graphic, comprehensive list in your mind for me. If the world is indeed going to Hell tonight, then I intend for my Princess to be pleased before then."

"Oh, Merlin," she slumped back against the bed as her heart tried to hammer its way out of her chest. "That silver tongue of yours is going to be my end."

Severus chuckled, the deep sound slipping across her already tingling psyche like silk and chocolate, "That is rather the point. Now get some rest, speak with Potter, and I will see you later… to go over your list in thorough, excruciating detail."

Hermione pressed her thighs together as he left the room, "Tease!"

He was still laughing as the Floo came roaring to life again, "Undoubtedly."

x-x-x

After an unnecessarily long shower and a late, reluctant breakfast brought to his chambers by house elves, Hermione managed to dress and drag herself from the dungeons in order to try and find Harry. She really needed to speak with him and was already feeling overwhelmingly guilty for having put it off for so long so she made a point of starting her search for him at the Quidditch Pitch and working her way around the castle from there. Hermione was out the front doors and halfway to the Pitch when someone called out to her.

"Hermione? Hermione, dear- is that you?"

She turned to see Molly Weasley bustling through the snow to get to her, a large maroon cloak wrapped tightly around her shoulders the ward off the cold. The matronly witch made it through the fluffy snow quickly and greeted her with a bright, warm smile.

Hermione couldn't help but smile back, "Hi, Mrs. Weasley. It's lovely to see you again so soon."

"Oh please darling, call me Molly," she chided, her cheeks pink with cold as she pulled Hermione into a short but tight embrace. "How are you, dear?"

"I am doing very well, thank you for—"

"Hermione," Molly cut her off softly and took her shoulders, "how are you _really_?"

Anxiety roiled in her gut but she pushed it away, "Really Mrs.- Molly, I'm fine…"

"Albus told me," the older witch continued, her chocolate eyes soft. "He told me a few days ago that you and Severus intend to use the potion tonight. I wanted to check on you sooner but there were so many preparations to be made that I haven't had the chance to get away."

"A few days ago?" Hermione frowned. "But I thought the Order was only being told this morning?"

"They are. Only three of us knew ahead of time: Remus, Tonks, and myself."

"But why…" Hermione's eyes widened in understanding. "The preparations… you mean the safe house, right? At the meeting, the Headmaster asked Remus and Nymphadora to secure one so that would make you… you must be the Secret Keeper then."

Molly nodded, "On Albus's orders, I Obliviated the location of the safe house from Remus and Tonks and now I'm the only one who knows where it is."

"But Molly, why—"

The older witch pulled something small from her pocket and gently pulled away the cloth it was wrapped in.

It was one of Hermione's plain black hair-bands, one that she must have accidentally dropped at the last Order meeting.

Hermione looked at the other woman in confusion, "I have a hundred of them, Molly. I don't understand—"

"It's a Portkey to the safe house," she whispered, eyes flickering around to ensure no one was near. "The _only_ Portkey to the safe house- you only need to say 'Prewett' to activate it. Once you and your friends have been sent there, the only way to get in will be to kill me and even then it will not be easy."

"Molly!"

"Listen to me, dear," she pressed, slipping the band around Hermione's wrist. "You didn't ask for any of this. You didn't ask to be his daughter, to be charged with carrying his war on your shoulders. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through and how scared you must be but… I believe in you. The others do too, they just find it hard to trust outsiders but that's only because they're all scared as well. I know that Albus can be incredibly insensitive and shortsighted sometimes, but that's just how he deals with all of this; that's how he separates himself from the pain of losing people. You created something that gave us the first real chance we've had in years, Hermione, and while some of them can overlook that, I can't. I'm giving you this Portkey because I believe you deserve to see the world you very well may have saved."

Hermione's eyes stung with tears that burned against the icy wind as her keeper's words from earlier came back to her, "Severus knows about this, doesn't he?"

Molly smiled, "Of course he does. He was begging me to open the safe house to you from the moment he realized I was the Secret Keeper… though he was a bit late. I made the Portkey the moment we chose a proper location."

She gently fingered the band around her wrist, lip caught firmly between her teeth.

"I have known Severus for many, many years," Molly took Hermione's hand in her own, "and he has never cared for anyone the way he cares for you."

"He might very well get himself killed because of that."

"I highly doubt that, dear. He's never been one to give in easily, you know."

Hermione looked up at the woman who was quite possibly saving her life, "How can I possibly be worth all of the trouble he goes to? How can he carry on with me, knowing that at any moment the wrong person could find out and everything he's worked for, everything he's been through would have been for nothing?"

"It wouldn't have been for nothing because he found _you_."

She let out a watery laugh, "You are a shameless romantic."

"Perhaps," Molly chuckled. "But that doesn't make it any less true. Severus is… he isn't someone who gives any part of himself away easily. Not trust, not friendship- none of it. He holds those things as dear as others hold their darkest secrets. The simple fact that he asked for help at all is staggering, but that he practically _begged_ me for it is near unfathomable. I have never seen you two together, but the look on his face when he thought I would say no… Hermione, that man is positively head-over-heels in love with you."

"I cannot even express how mutual that feeling is."

"Good," she exhaled sharply, hugging Hermione again. "I am so glad to hear that because he's had so little happiness in his life and I think it's about time he has some."

Hermione nodded, "I do, too."

"Then keep yourself safe," Molly pleaded. "Please. Use the Portkey if you have to and keep yourself in one piece so Severus has something to fight for. Keep yourself safe so you can live your life and be there for him when this is all over."

"Thank you, Molly," she buried herself further into the soft arms and maroon cloak that surrounded her. "Thank you for believing in me… in _him_."

"You may have lost your parents," the older witch sniffed, "but you have me to help fill the void a little now. And as your surrogate mother, it's my job to look out for you and those you care for as well. You and Severus can always count on me."

Hermione finally let her façade slip away and dampened the shoulder of Molly's winter cloak with her tears as she cried for the utter mess her entire life had become.

x-x-x

When Molly Weasley finally departed for the Headmaster's office it was well into lunch and the Quidditch Pitch was completely deserted. Hermione internally cursed the inconvenience of trying to track down a single person in a place as large as Hogwarts and the surrounding grounds as she trudged back up to the castle through the ever-increasing piles of snow. By the time she reached the front steps, her warming charms were near useless and the waterproofing spell she had cast on her shoes was well and truly gone. Thankfully luck was finally on her side as Harry, Ron, and Neville then burst through the front doors, laughing and shoving each other as they descended the steps.

"Well, well," Neville grinned when he caught sight of Hermione at the bottom, "if it isn't the lovely Princess of Slytherin?" He bowed overdramatically, flourishing his arms to the side. "How can we be of service today, my beautiful lady?"

Ron scoffed and shoved his friend until he stumbled on the slick stone, "Shameless git."

Neville simply shrugged and winked at her, "It's not my fault if you can't see past your own prejudices to recognize true beauty when it graces us. I, on the other hand, intend to take every opportunity presented to me."

Hermione rolled her eyes despite the smirk tugging at her lips.

Harry chuckled at his friend as they followed him down the steps, "Hey, 'Mione- just ignore them, I do. What are you doing out here anyway? I didn't see you at breakfast or lunch."

She just shrugged, "Had a bit of lie-in today and lost track of time, I suppose. What about you?"

Neville sidled smoothly up to Harry's side, winding a long arm around his shoulder as he appraised her, "Just heading out to have a _very_ mature snowball fight, in which I will undoubtedly come out on top. Though… if you decided to join us, I would be more than happy to let _you_ come out _on top_ —" He suddenly lurched forward to cup his crotch with a very pointed, very distinct yelp of pain.

Hermione crossed her arms, her wand dangling negligently from her fingers as it swayed a little in the breeze, "Careful, Neville. You might need that in the future."

Harry and Ron both broke into raucous guffaws of laughter when they realized that she had non-verbally hexed their friend's bits. Ron's face was an almost painful looking red as he gasped for breath, "Okay, now I see what you meant. She's not half bad."

Harry slapped Neville on the back, still cackling like mad, "Serves you right for being a lecher. Didn't I warn you?"

She raised a brow, "You mean he hasn't always been so terribly _suave_?"

Ron laughed even harder at that, "Neville? Are you kidding? He used to be the most awkward kid in the entire school!"

"Hey," Neville gasped, "I resent that."

The lightheartedness was like a ray of sunshine chasing away the darkness that plagued her and she couldn't help but bask in for just a little longer, "He did, did he? What happened?"

"Puberty is what happened," Harry rolled his eyes. "One day he was nerdy little Neville Longbottom and then we came back from the winter hols and he looked like he could be on the cover of Playwitch. It's done quite the number on his ego."

"And girls like that?"

Neville managed a charming smile, though it was still tinged with discomfort, "Most of them. You're proving to be a bit more of a challenge than most, though."

"Then let me save you the trouble," she scoffed, still fighting the grin that threatened to break through. "I'm not interested. But I appreciate the thought, however misguided it is."

He straightened himself, placing a hand over his heart, "Are you saying that someone has already stolen the heart of the fair princess?"

Hermione couldn't help but smile, "Something like that."

Neville swooned, "A wound! The maiden hath wounded me straight through the heart!"

"Oh for the love of- can we _please_ go before he starts spouting that muggle stuff again? I don't think my ears can take another three hours of that," Ron groaned to the graying sky.

"That _muggle stuff_ is called Shakespeare and I can assure you, Hermione would enjoy my iteration quite thoroughly."

"Somehow, I seriously doubt…"

"Sorry about them," Harry whispered to Hermione as the others continued to debate whether or not she would indeed enjoy listening to Neville's apparently devastating take on Shakespeare as so many of the Ravenclaw girls did. "I think they both might have had one too many treacle tarts at lunch. The sugar is obviously affecting their brain."

Hermione chuckled, "You are probably right, but please don't apologize. I feel… surprisingly normal right now. It's rather nice."

He frowned at that, "Is everything okay?"

She sighed, rubbing her hands together, "I was actually looking for you when you all found me. Our potion is done and… we have a plan. It goes into effect tonight."

Harry's emerald eyes widened, "So soon? But—"

The front doors opened again to reveal the white-blond head of Draco Malfoy. He looked surprisingly disheveled and was clearly out of breath, "Hermione!"

She could instantly tell that someone was wrong and the anxiety was back, roiling throughout her gut and clawing towards her ribcage was a terrifying ferocity, "Sorry, Harry- can we meet up to talk tonight? Near the Whomping Willow like before?"

He nodded, his cheeks flushing pink when he caught sight of Draco, "Y-yeah, sure. I'll meet you there around seven?"

"Perfect," she nodded absently, already moving up the stairs. "I'll see you then."

"Ron, Neville- let's go," Harry called a little too enthusiastically. "Those snowballs aren't going to roll themselves!"

Luckily the boys were easily distracted because they nearly tripped over each other to get to the bottom of the steps.

"I'll be back to woo you again later, Hermione!" Neville shouted over his shoulder as they made their way towards the Quidditch Pitch. "I promise you'll love my take on a Midsummer Night's Dream!"

Harry shoved him into the snow, "Sorry, 'Mione. See you."

Draco's steel gray eyes were like saucers when she finally made it to the top of the steps and the other boys were well out of earshot, "You and Longbottom? Really? I was under the impression you preferred older men."

Hermione punched his shoulder, "Yes, yes- you can give me hell for Neville later. Right now, I would like to know why you came barreling out of the castle shouting my name. What is it? Has something happened?"

His serious expression was back, "We just left the Headmaster's office- the entire Order was there except for you and the Golden Trio. He said you and Uncle Sev are putting the plan in motion tonight."

She nodded, nausea bubbling in her throat, "We are."

"Then what am I missing here? Why are Pansy, Blaise, and I being carted off to a safe house after dinner without you?"

"Without… Draco, why would you be under the impression—"

He caught her upper arms in a tight grip, his eyes hard, "He's going to know it was you, Hermione. And he sure as hell is going to know that Uncle Sev helped."

"Draco—"

"You have to come with us, Hermione! Uncle Sev can handle himself but… I don't think he can look out for you both at the same time. He gets too distracted worrying about you. You _have_ to come with us."

"Draco," Hermione repeated, this time much louder to get his attention. "Draco, if I could come with you… it just… I…"

"I know you love him- I get it. But your father… you don't know what he's really like. You have no idea the things he's capable of. And when he realizes what you've done—"

"Professor Dumbledore withdrew the Order's protection," Hermione blurted as she picked at the hair-band Portkey around her wrist nervously.

Draco looked utterly horrified, " _What_?"

"He withdrew our protection- that is why I wasn't included in the plans for the safe house," she pinched the bridge of her nose- Gods, why did everything have to be so damn complicated? "When we brought him the plan, he said that if anything happened to us- if we were caught in any capacity- he would not sacrifice the lives of the Order to save us. He said we were on our own."

He just stood and stared at her, as if the words were spoken in Mandarin.

"You, Blaise, and Pansy have to go," Hermione pressed forward. "Please try not to worry over me. I knew the risks I was taking when I decided to go against my father and if I could go back, I would do it again. Someone has to stop him Draco, and this might just be the best chance we have."

"You can't beat him in a fight- his magic is too strong and he has a strong command of the Dark."

"I know."

Draco ran a shaking hand over his mouth, "You can't win against him, Hermione. In any situation, in any scenario, you _will_ lose."

Her voice was soft, "I know."

"You have a plan," he nodded with conviction. "You must. You wouldn't just walk into something blindly. You have a plan… right? Hermione, tell me you have a plan."

She sighed, "I don't, not yet. Severus and I… we haven't had a chance to come up with anything concrete. I was placing all my hopes on being able to get away before Tom realizes the truth but—"

Draco looked like he was ready to vomit, "Hermione, the Revel is _tonight_. You're out of time!"

Tears pricked the corners of her eyes as the severity of it all really hit her, "I know."

He pulled her into a tight embrace, "Merlin, don't cry. There's still a few hours until the Revel and there… there has to be something. _There has to be_."

She wanted to believe that there was, but that hope was slowly dwindling as the minutes passed. The potion was done, the drugs were laced, and the Order was ready- there was absolutely no turning back.

Whether she and Severus had a contingency plan or not, the war was violently shifting tonight.

x-x-x

He was sitting in his favored armchair by the fire when she returned to his chambers a short time later, a tumbler of Firewhiskey cradled between his knees as he stared at the crackling flames. Hermione silently came to take the glass from his hands and set it on the coffee table before she came to kneel in front of him.

"I know I promised you an evening of…" Severus grit his teeth, onyx eyes hard. "But it would seem Albus has other plans for my time today. I have exactly ten minutes before he will be expecting me at Headquarters to double-up on the security measures. Bloody fucking insufferable bastard."

Hermione took of his clenched fists in her hands, "So we have ten minutes; we should discuss the plan for tonight… should my father realize we are the ones to blame."

"I suggest you start praying to any and all Gods that that does not happen."

Her heart twisted painfully in her chest, "But what if it does? What do we do?"

Severus' eyes slipped shut and his fingers went lax as he slumped back against the chair, "You use Molly's Portkey to get to the safe house before he can get to you."

"And you?"

"When the Dark Lord realizes that he can no longer summon me, he and whoever remains loyal to him will proceed to hunt me down- starting with my home in Cokeworth and working his way around from there. He won't stop until he finds me, and when he does- because he will- he will torture me to find you. When he finally understands that I do not know where you are, I imagine he will come up with a very creative way to kill me."

Hermione's fingers tightened around his limp hand and tears streaked her cheeks, "I thought no one was going to die? I thought we promised?"

Severus leaned forward and cupped her face with his free hand, "I never said I wouldn't fight back."

"Killing him is not so simple," Hermione tugged at his arm through the tears. "There's something wrong with him- he felt inhumanly Dark when I lived there but I don't know why. How can you fight that when we don't know what it is?"

"I have felt that as well," he pressed his lips to her cheek. "He has not felt entirely human in a very long time, but we- Lucius and I- have not been able to discern why. Even so, I will fight, Hermione. I will do all I can to weaken him so the Order can finish this."

The resignation in his eyes and the emotionless tone of his voice finally broke her and sobs ripped from deep within her chest, "You _promised_ me!" She cried, pounding against his thighs with her fists. "You promised we would get through this together and now you are ready to just… to just… you are accepting that death is inevitable but I refuse to believe that! I refuse to believe there's no way out of this for us _both_!"

Severus pulled her close and titled her chin up so he could capture her lips in a deep, devastating kiss. Her heart lurched when his fingers came up to memorize the feel of her face, to trace her features like a blind man reading braille. He tasted her mouth and touched her eyes, nipped at her lip and grazed her brows, traced her teeth and cupped her jaw. She knew exactly what he was doing: he was carving himself into her, burning himself into her memories so when he was gone, she would never forget the way it felt. He was kissing her as if it were the last time… just in case.

It tasted like salty tears and a bitter goodbye and she fucking hated it.

"I have to go, my love," Severus breathed softly against her face, pressing his lips to her chin, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose before standing and moving toward the fireplace. "Albus is expecting me."

Just as he grabbed the pot of Floo powder, Hermione caught his wrist. He looked down at her with now cool, guarded eyes but they softened when they caught hers. "I love you," Hermione said fiercely. "I love you and I _will_ see you again, do you understand me?"

He sighed, "Hermione—"

"Severus Tobias Snape," she snapped, forcing the new round of terrified hysterics from showing themselves. "I don't like repeating myself and when I ask a question I expect an answer. Now because you have been drinking I'll make an exception just this once. I _said_ : I love you, you insufferable fucking man, and I _will_ see you again. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

Oh what she would have given to have a camera to capture his dumbfounded expression. Severus was frozen in place for a moment before he let out a surprised chuckle and bent down to kiss her once more, and this time it tasted like _him_ , "Never did I imagine being commanded about so ferociously by someone so diminutive. Merlin, Princess, you just keep on surprising me. Is any wonder that I love you the way I do?"

Hermione took his sharp face in her hands as she searched his eyes, "Tell me you understand," she begged, her control slipping. "Tell me you understand and that I _will_ see you again."

Severus pressed her palms over his heart, eyes never leaving hers, "I understand, Hermione. I understand and I will do whatever I can to make it back to you."

"I love you, Severus," Hermione whimpered, wrapping her arms tightly around his back. "Please, _please_ be safe."

"I love you as well, my darling girl. Never doubt that," he kissed the top of her head before stepping away and taking the pot of Floo powder. "Remember your Portkey."

And just like that, he was gone.

Hermione looked at the clock above the mantle. Just a few more hours until things changed, irrevocably, forever.

But first, she would need to meet with Harry.

She summoned one of Severus' books from the case on healing magic and started to read, very pointedly ignoring the tears that would occasionally mar the page.


	20. Finite

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: JK Rowling is the sole owner of all lovely Harry Potter things. I just have lots of ideas.**

 ***You guys are hilariously paranoid! Poor Molly, I just wanted her to be shown in a positive light and you all were suspicious of her! (It was really Molly and she** _ **can**_ **be trusted, I swear.) Also, in canon, I have always found Harry to be a little immature and Hermione to be a little too accommodating of her friends. It can be easy to forget that Hermione and Harry are only 19 and 18 respectively here and teenagers are rather notorious for questionable decision-making.***

* * *

20\. _Finite_

She was already waiting by the Whomping Willow, cloaked in warming charms and a Disillusionment spell, when the telltale sound of crunching snow signaled Harry's arrival at precisely seven. He slumped down next to her before slipping off the Invisibility Cloak and waving his wand to remove her spell. For a while, the pair simply sat in silence staring into the night.

"How is it going to happen?" Harry finally asked, his breath puffing warm little swirls in the icy air. "How did you manage to get it to them?"

Hermione barely even moved, her faraway eyes never leaving the dark forest before them, "Powdered it and laced the drugs. Pansy mentioned that most of the Death Eaters at the Revel were using some kind of powder they inhaled, so Severus found the supplier and tainted the next batch bound for the Manor tonight."

He let out a low whistle, "Impressive."

"Mmm."

There was another long moment of silence, "So what now?"

"To be perfectly honest with you, Harry- I have no idea," she admitted softly. "If my father somehow fails to realize it was us, then we will at least have a little more time to find a way to beat him. If he does, however… well, I am sure you can imagine what _that_ would mean for us."

Without a word, Harry reached over and took one of her frigid hands in his. She did not pull away, instead choosing to soak in the small measure of comfort the simply gesture brought her.

When he finally spoke again, it had begun to snow lightly and both of their hair was sprinkled with fluffy white flakes, "Is Snape ready for this? Are _you_?"

"We have to be."

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Harry leaned back and ran a hand through his messy hair. "The weight of an entire society's expectations on your shoulders."

Hermione pulled her thick winter cloak tighter around her chest, "I would be lying if I said I enjoyed it."

"Gods, aren't we a morbid pair? The _Chosen One_ and Voldemort's daughter. Who would have ever thought?"

"What does that even mean?" She tilted her head to look at him. "Being the _Chosen_ _One_?"

Harry sighed, "I'm not exactly sure; no one has ever bothered to explain it to me. All I know is that there is something about me in a prophecy somewhere in the Department of Mysteries." His expression darkened. "The Order is just fine with parading me around like their little savior poster-child, but none of them ever thought that I might want to know what the hell it all meant."

"A prophecy? As in, Divination?" Hermione frowned thoughtfully as she turned her gaze back to the gently swaying trees and their creaking branches. "Harry, I will be the first to admit that I don't know everything about everything, but I _do_ know that Divination is unreliable at the best of times. Strictly speaking, prophecies are simply one possible path that can be chosen- it certainly isn't something that is set in stone. They only hold the weight that you give them and they do not necessarily have to mean anything at all, if that's the way you choose to interpret it."

"Really?" He smiled softly. "That's definitely a nice thought- that I could decide to ignore the whole _Chosen One_ thing and just live my life. But then, where would that leave you?"

"It would leave me in the exact same place I am right now- as Tom's only child. You deciding to be the _Chosen One_ or not has no bearing on my own path. Yours is a choice, mine is genetics. That is, unfortunately, just the way things are."

"But… that isn't fair."

"No. It's really not."

The silence was stifling then as they sat, side by side, under the pale winter moonlight. The minutes ticked away relentlessly, bringing them ever closer to both the beginning and the end, and there was nothing further that could be done. There were no more words of comfort, no more platitudes or gestures of reassurance. Why should there be? It wouldn't change anything. Hermione knew the likelihood of everything 'working out', of making it out unscathed long enough to find Severus. She knew Professor Dumbledore whisking Severus away at the last moment had not been a coincidence, either. She knew he had separated them at the most crucial moment on purpose- though whether it was to make things easier or harder for them, she honestly couldn't say. But if there was one thing Hermione had learned over the past few weeks, it was that the Headmaster never did anything without calculating the usefulness of such a move first.

What was it Severus had called him? Oh yes, a 'bloody fucking insufferable bastard'. She snorted internally- it certainly was an apt description of the old twinkling wizard.

He leaned against her shoulder and she could almost physically feel the irony of the moment. There was only Harry Potter and Hermione Granger now- _Chosen One_ for the Light and Princess of the Dark- waiting for the moment when the world would undoubtedly go to Hell in a Slytherin-colored handbasket.

"We might not survive this," Harry nearly whispered. "Even if I chose to ignore the prophecy, Voldemort already knows about it- about me. And if he finds out the potion was you…" He let out a sharp breath. "We might not survive this, Hermione."

She sighed, "Believe me, I am painfully aware of that fact."

"Is there anything you regret? Anything you wished you would have done?"

Hermione thought for a moment, "Being normal might have been nice."

Harry chuckled, "And what would qualify as normal for a teenager attending a magical school, dare I ask?"

She couldn't stifle her smile, "I just meant, you know, having normal friends and normal life- well, normal considering our circumstances anyway. Back at Beuxbatons, I was always very invested in my studies, as were my friends. We never really did any of the fun or adventurous things I heard of others doing. I wanted Hogwarts to be different and I sometimes wonder what life could have been like if we weren't in the midst of a war, you know? What life could have been like right now if we weren't preparing ourselves for the very likely possibility of our own deaths?"

"Mmm…" He tapped his chin playfully. "In that scenario, we'd probably be sneaking out of the castle and off the grounds to go hang out in muggle London, high from the thrill of possibly getting caught."

Hermione snorted, rolling her eyes, "Right. Of course."

"I mean it. That's the sort of thing my parents and their friends did all the time."

Her eyes widened, "That's… pretty bold. Even for normal teenagers at a magical school."

He laughed a little sadly, "Yeah… they were pretty crazy. Sirius used to tell me stories all the time when I was little."

Nothing was said between them for a long time as Hermione twirled her want between her fingers and Harry toyed with the frayed hem of his Invisibility Cloak. He opened and closed his mouth several times before apparently rethinking whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Harry, I just wanted to say—"

"We should do it."

Hermione's warm gaze snapped to her friend, shock and disbelief clearly written on her face, "Do _what_?"

He looked right at her, completely unwavering and serious, "What my parents did. We should do it. Right now."

She scoffed, "What a brilliant idea, Harry! Sneaking out of warded castle to go banding about muggle London with a life-changing Revel only a few short hours away, where- might I add- no one would know to look for us if we came upon danger. Truly, your best idea yet."

Hermione fully expected him to laugh, shake his head, and recant- but he didn't. He simply stared up at the cloudy night sky as fluffy flakes of snow marred his glasses, "We might not make it out of this war alive. We might not even make it to tomorrow. After the Death Eaters take your potion… one way or the other, things are going to change. Forever. What if we… what if we die without ever having really lived? Is that what you want?"

Hermione pulled her lower lip between her teeth and nibbled on it anxiously. He certainly made a compelling point… "I really don't think this is a good idea, Harry. There are so many things that could go wrong."

"So you're just going to let me, the fabled _Chosen One_ , go alone?"

She could feel the indecision and fear tearing at her. He was clearly manipulating her admission for the desire of a normal life with normal friends to get her to agree, she _knew_ he was, but it didn't feel malicious. When she looked into Harry's eyes- Lily's eyes- Hermione could see that he was just as terrified as she felt. He was just like her- a scared teenager who had been involuntarily assigned a burden far too heavy for his age. He knew that things were going to change tonight and just in case it all went wrong, he wanted to live, really live, just once before he didn't have the chance to anymore. Hermione understood that more than anyone could ever know, possibly even more so than Harry did, considering just how precarious her situation really was. She knew it was a bad idea, but her friend- and he was her friend- was determined to do this, with or without her.

Realistically, it wasn't hard to discern who the Order, the Headmaster, would blame if something were to happen to their _Chosen One_ only hours before the Revel. With the exception of Molly and maybe a few others, the Order was already overtly suspicious of her anyway and if something happened to Harry, well… suffice it to say that Tom would not be her only concern anymore. And she really, really didn't have it in her to fight both sides when she didn't even want to fight anyone at all.

Fuck.

Hermione rubbed her forehead, "Can you Apparate on your own if you need to?"

Harry's eyes lit up and he even began to bounce a little with barely restrained excitement as he nodded, "I can but the Order has a Trace on me. You know, for protection. So…"

She groaned, "So it will be entirely up to _me_ to ensure we make it back, alive and in one piece? Oh that's just gods damned lovely."

He took one of her hands in both of his, "But we'll go, right?"

She wanted to say no. She really, really did. But when Harry looked at her with such hope and excitement, when only minutes before he had been just as resigned to his own death as she had been… how could she disappoint him? After all, his life had been harder than hers, filled with years of fear and anxiety rather than her few short months- much of it thanks to her own father. And maybe he was right; maybe they could just enjoy the next few hours together as if they were just normal friends sneaking out to have a good time. As if it was their last chance to do so.

It wasn't exactly super far from the truth.

"I… I suppose so but Harry, you have to swear to me that when I say we're leaving, we leave. No arguing. This is a monumental risk we're taking so close to the Revel and if Severus or the Headmaster were to ever find out that we left the safety of the castle for something like this, my father would be the least of our concerns. I'm pretty sure they would promptly murder us both."

He pumped his fist into the air, "Hell yeah, 'Mione! Let's do it!"

She grabbed his arm, "Your word, Harry. You have to promise me."

He nodded quickly, "Yeah, yeah- I promise. I'll listen, I swear."

"Gods damn it all," Hermione huffed as they stood and brushed the snow from their clothing. "I just know I'm going to regret this."

Harry nudged her shoulder as he transfigured his jeans into significantly better repair and his thick hooded sweatshirt into a long-sleeved blue jumper, "Lighten up, 'Mione. It's about time we have some real fun. Who knows what will happen after the Revel."

She knew, on some level, he was right. Tomorrow was no longer a certainty, not in the midst of a war where she was the daughter of the wrong side's leader.

Her father might kill her.

Dumbledore might kill her.

Death Eaters might kill her.

The Order might kill her.

Losing Severus might kill her.

Oh for fuck's sake- her conscience was taking a serious beating tonight!

Hermione gave up fighting it and sighed, "Should I transfigure my clothes, too?"

Harry rolled his eyes and pointed his wand at her, transfiguring her muggle jeans and Severus' far too-large gray jumper into a shimmery gold dress with a scoop neck and mid-length sleeves that stopped just above her elbows.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted, tugging at the hemline that came much too high on her thighs to make her comfortable.

He smacked her hands away before waving his wand to lengthen the hem a few inches until she was satisfied with it a bit above her knees. He then transfigured her cloak into a black coat before sheathing his wand and looking up at her, his glittering jade eyes sincere and soft, "One night to just let go, 'Mione. One night to just be normal until we can't be anymore."

In for a penny, in for a pound. Hermione charmed her newly transfigured flat shoes to be waterproof just as Harry took her arm in his and slipped the Invisibility Cloak over them both while leading her down the well-worn path to Hogsmeade. As soon as they felt the wards of Hogwarts shimmer away, the disappeared into the night with a sharp _CRACK!_ of Apparition.

x-x-x

The first stop of the night in London was to a local cinema. Harry was adamant about stopping there first because he admitted that immediately after the death of his father, Lily had become something of a recluse and found it difficult to be in public. While she had gotten better over time, she still had never recovered enough to take him into the muggle world again. She always said there were too many memories of James there.

Hermione, on the other hand, had been to the cinema with her mother and Wendell countless times throughout her life and the overwhelming guilt she felt over Harry's childhood having been effectively stolen by a single act of her own father was enough to sway her. So, to the cinema they went.

Harry watched the brightly colored animations on the screen in the seat next to her with rapt attention, barely blinking for fear of missing a single thing. He leaned over, eyes never wavering from the animated depiction of Moses and Ramses even as he whispered in awe, "This film… it's about muggle religion?"

Hermione nodded, "Sort of- it's a retelling of the Book of Exodus from the Torah aimed more at children to make it easier to understand." At his confusion, she added, "The Torah is the Hebrew Bible, a part of the Jewish religion."

"There's more than one muggle religion? But… we're only taught about Merlin and Nimue."

She couldn't help but smile at his stunned, yet amazed expression, "There are believed to be around 4,200 muggle religions, Harry."

"After my dad... my mum didn't talk about any of those things anymore..." Finally, he turned his attention to her, "Will you teach me about them?"

"Harry—"

"And the muggle world," he added a little too desperately, gripping her hand. "You'll teach me about it all, right?"

Hermione could see that, despite his desire to get away, Harry was still painfully aware of what was creeping closer and closer as the time passed. He was trying to hide it, trying to enjoy their time pretending at normal, but it wasn't quite working. Now, he was looking for reassurance and Hermione didn't have the heart to take that from him.

"Of course I will," she smiled softly. " _Later_. Now hush and watch the film before I make you pay me back for the ticket."

He did not let go of her hand, but he visibly calmed a little and turned back to the screen.

From the corner of her eye, Hermione could have sworn that she caught a flash of fiery auburn hair, but when she turned to look, there was no one there.

She stifled the feeling of unease that settled in her gut and turned her attention back to the film, even though she already knew how the story ended.

x-x-x

"I'm starving," Harry declared just a bit too enthusiastically when they emerged on the busy London street nearly an hour later. "What should we eat?"

"Harry, I really think we should—"

"We can," he cut in, near breathless. "As soon as we eat something, we can. I promise."

Hermione wavered for a moment, "Alright… but we're going back _right_ after."

He smiled brightly, winding his arm through hers and dragging her forward, "Of course, 'Mione. Anything you say!"

They ended up just down the block in a darkly lit pub- after conjuring some fake ID's that declared them of legal muggle age, of course- with Harry nervously sipping at his pint and Hermione pushing the greasy chips back and forth in their basket. She could feel his leg bouncingly under the table and it was all she could do not to copy the motion. It felt like her entire body was buzzing in anticipation as the constant feel of nausea clawed at her throat in an attempt to escape. Hermione pushed her food towards Harry and he gave a small smile before popping one of the limp chips into his mouth.

There was another quick flash of fiery auburn in her peripherals but again, when Hermione turned- there was no one there.

The anxiety ratcheted up another notch, nearly choking her.

"It's nearly half past nine," a woman said from the booth behind theirs. "Shouldn't you be getting home before the nanny has a fit?"

Another woman sighed, "I should. Want me to call you a cab before I go? You've had, like, eight pints."

The first woman giggled a little drunkenly as they both stood and started for the door, "Well what can I say? He kept buying them for me…"

Hermione and Harry simply stared at each other across the table as the women disappeared through the main door, his knuckles white around his glass and hers balled tightly into fists.

"The Revel is well under way now," he breathed shakily. "Do you think… do you think it's happened yet? The Marks being cleansed?"

She ran a trembling hand over her mouth, "I—"

And then, it happened.

The door to the pub burst open, slamming loudly against the wall behind it as Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, and Molly Weasley came barreling inside. A few patrons looked affronted but the Order members took one look around the pub and once they caught sight of Harry and Hermione, they each cast a quick _Confundus_ over the bar and shoved past the muggles until they were red-faced and panting in front of the booth.

"I warned you!" Lily roared, fists pounding at the table in front of Hermione. "I warned you to stay the fuck away from him!"

Hermione recoiled but Harry touched her arm in reassurance, "Mum, what—"

His mother was already dragging up Harry by his arm, "While there are a lot of things I'd like to say about you doing something so stupid, it's going to have to wait until later. We need to go, _now_."

Harry looked horrified and terror-stricken, like a small child, "It happened, didn't it? They took the potion."

Molly nodded, "They did and _he_ is not happy. He's already killed some of the Death Eaters who tried to run. Narcissa made it with the other children to the safe house just in time."

Hermione brought her trembling hands to her mouth, but whether it was to stifle her hysterics or the vomit that was imminent, she didn't know.

"Get him to Headquarters," Remus nodded to Lily. "Albus strengthened the wards earlier so it should be safe for him, at least for a while. There's an alley behind this pub that should work for a quick Apparition."

She nodded sharply, "Let's go, Harry."

Harry resisted his mother's pull, "But, 'Mione—"

"Harry James Potter," Lily hissed, eyes burning and expression fierce, "you are my first and only concern. I will stun you if I have to but you are coming with me whether you like it or not. That girl—" She thrust an accusing finger towards Hermione. "—has made her own bed and now she has to lie in it! _Let's go!_ "

"Mum, please- we can't leave her!"

"I'll take care of her," Molly touched his shoulder gently but firmly. "Go on, Harry."

Remus visibly tensed and tightened the grip on his wand, "Death Eaters are coming. Lily, take Harry out the back and _go_! I can hold them off so you can get away. GO!"

Lily yanked his arm and started running for the back of the pub. Harry's eyes were glossy with tears as he looked back at his friend just before they disappeared through a door behind the bar, "I'm so sorry, 'Mione. I'm sorry!"

"They're coming, Molly. We have to get out of here before it's too late," Remus gripped her shoulder as he nodded towards Hermione. "They want her and they will kill anyone they have to in order to get her."

Molly turned to Hermione, who was now white as a sheet as the implication behind Remus's words set in. So, the worst had happened then. Her father knew. He knew it was them.

Hermione's heart plummeted into her gut- _Severus_.

"Severus," she gasped, clutching at her chest as adrenaline coursed through her. "Have either of you heard from Severus? Do you know where he is?"

"Hermione, darling, you have to get to the safe house," Molly choked, her voice thick. "They're coming."

"Not without him!" Hermione pounded her fist on the table as she stood. "Where is he?"

Remus hesitated but he looked genuinely upset, "…He's already been taken. He was the first one they came for. There were so many and… he was outside the wards. Even with all of us, we didn't stand a chance and even if we did, Albus ordered us not to help. He ordered us to let Severus be taken."

Her entire world went spiraling. Of course the Death Eaters found him so quickly- Severus hadn't taken any of the potion yet for fear of prematurely alerting her father to their plan. He was still branded with the Dark Mark when the Revel had begun and he must have forgotten to take the extra vial of potion he'd stashed away with him. She had to grip the table to keep herself from collapsing. Severus had been taken in front of the Order… and no one had done a damn thing to stop it. They had all effectively signed his death warrant.

Hermione pushed past Remus and Molly and stumbled towards the door, wand tight in her fist.

"Hermione!" Molly cried, gripping her wrist to stop her. "You have to get to the safe house! It's the only place they can't get to you! Albus changed the wards at Hogwarts- you're not protected there anymore!"

"I can't leave him," she wrenched her arm from the other woman's grasp. "I won't!"

"Molly!" Remus shouted, sliding one long arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "I'm sorry but we have to go!"

He cast a hasty Disillusionment charm over them before they disappeared with a sharp _CRACK!_

Hermione bolted through the same door behind the bar where Harry and Lily had disappeared, sweat dampening her palms and her brow as she ran through the tiny kitchen. She could feel the Dark magic of the Death Eaters as they came closer- Remus was right, they were coming for her.

She nearly fell through the door that led from the kitchen to the alley was still struggling to breathe when she spun on her heel and Disapparated.

x-x-x

Hermione rematerialized in the same spot she had originally departed Hogsmeade from and within seconds, she was running again- her flat shoes struggling to gain purchase on the loose stones the littered the streets. She knew that Severus would be at Malfoy Manor since that was always were the Revels were held and she knew she had to get to him before her father could do too much damage, but first, she had to get the single vial of potion that Severus had hidden away in his chambers just in case they ever needed it. After all, what good would saving him be if her father could just track him down through his Mark again?

She was sprinting now, her breathing harsh and uneven, as the castle came into view in the far distance. The wards of the school were so close they prickled at her skin. She was almost there, if she could just…

As if running headlong into a solid wall made of glass, Hermione slammed into the school's wards and was catapulted backwards nearly ten or fifteen feet until she landed on the worn pathway with a harsh _thud_. The true meaning of Molly's words hit her like a stampede of hippogriffs then.

Hermione was no longer protected at Hogwarts because she as no longer allowed inside. The Headmaster had changed the wards so she couldn't get in anymore, so that the other students would be safe. For the first time, she was actually glad Harry had convinced her to leave the grounds before the Revel- Merlin only knows what would have happened to her had she still been inside the wards when they changed.

But that relief was short-lived as she realized she now had no way to get back to Severus' chambers.

"Fuck," Hermione gasped in a desperate attempt to get some air back into her lungs. "Gods damn it, Dumbledore!"

She needed the potion and the only one she even remotely had access to was in Severus' rooms. How the hell was she supposed to get it when she couldn't get inside? How was she supposed to save him when the wards of Hogwarts literally repelled her from getting too close? Hermione took a few slow, deep breaths in order to calm the chaos in her mind. There had to be a way. There had to be something, _someone_ who could get the potion for her…

Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, "Oh Gods- please, _please_ let this work. Please…" Hermione took another calming breath before reaching for the only possibility she had. She spoke clearly to the open air. "Filly? Filly, I need you. Please."

The tiny house elf _popped_ into being right in front of her, her large eyes wide and confused, "Good evening, Miss Hermione. But… why is Filly's Mistress in the dirt in such a pretty dress?"

Tears of relief fell, unchecked from Hermione's eyes as she desperately grabbed the elf's tiny hand, "Filly, oh thank the Gods. I need your help."

The elf bobbed her head enthusiastically, "Of course, Miss Hermione! Filly is always happy to help her Mistress! What can Filly do?"

"I can't get past the wards," Hermione nodded towards the school, "but I need something that's inside, in Master Snape's chambers. Can you get it for me, Filly? Master Snape is hurt and I need this to help him."

Filly's large eyes flickered to the school and surveyed it for a long moment before she nodded, "Filly can get past the wards, Miss. Just tell Filly what you need and she will bring it."

"Thank you, Filly. Gods, _thank you_ ," she choked, swiping at her cheeks and taking a few deep breaths. "Alright, so his chambers are in the dungeons- you should be able to sense my magic there- and I need a potion that was hidden under the three discolored floorstones near the hearth…"

x-x-x

Malfoy Manor was just as beautiful and haunting as she remembered from the first time. Hermione stood at the closed gates under her Disillusionment spell and contemplated the likelihood of ever seeing the open sky again after crossing the threshold of the grounds.

Admittedly, not likely.

That, however, was very low on the list of her concerns at the moment. Somewhere inside of all that lovely, regal architecture was Severus, _her_ Severus… probably being tortured within an inch of his life for information he didn't even have.

Hermione grit her teeth and dispelled her cloaking spell.

A Caterwauling charm immediately began to wail as the wards recognized her, the gates nearly flying open as a black cloud of Death Eaters came rushing from the Manor's front doors towards where she stood. She didn't resist as they snatched her arms and pinned them behind her back; she didn't resist as they disarmed her and shoved her forwards; she didn't resist as they sneered and leered at her, as they hissed all the horrific and graphic things they wanted to do to her when her father was finished.

She didn't resist. She didn't blink. She didn't speak.

Instead, Hermione remained stiff and stoic, like a walking statue as they dug their nails into her skin and breathed obscenities onto her neck. Severus was in there and he needed her. He _needed_ her and she would not fail him. Not now.

The masked men hurtled her through the large double doors, laughing when she stumbled and her face hit the floor. There was a smear of blood on the marble from where her lip had split and when they pulled her to her feet, the Death Eaters were nearly panting with the severity of their demonic lust. They continued to shove her along until the opulent, open doors of the ballroom came into view. Suddenly, all of them straightened and moved out of reach, hands coming to clasp behind their backs in a formal pose.

"Ahhh, Hermione," her father's cold, almost serpentine voice slithered through the stale air that still smelled of sex and blood. He was sitting on a garish-looking throne in a deep Slytherin green on the balcony, his typically handsome face already smeared with streaks of blood and his dark eyes narrowed on her. "How nice of you to join us. Please, come _in_."

With a flick of his wrist, she was magically yanked forward until she was deposited violently on her knees in front of the balcony. She looked up at him and snarled, "Where is he?"

"Hmmm?" Tom's brow raised and he waved dismissively. There was blood coating his hands as well. "Oh, you must be referring to Severus. I am afraid he is a bit preoccupied at the moment but I would not worry too much about that. You will see him soon."

Terror. Pure, undiluted terror pulsed through her veins at his words. She had no doubt that the blood covering half of the room and her father belonged to Severus. Gods, the panic was almost blinding in its intensity. She had to get to him, she had to. _She had to_.

"Before that, however, I believe we have something to discuss," Tom stood and made his way, slowly and fluidly, down one of the staircases that descended from the balcony. He did not stop or speak again until he came to a long table at the front of the room near the hearth. "You see, I like to reward those who are loyal to me- it keeps them obedient and pliable. Some enjoy their rewards in the form of sex, some in the form of rape, some in the form of torture, some in the form of drugs. It does not matter to me- the end result is always the same: devotion. But I am rather straying from the point." He dragged his palms along the table, a silvery powder binding to the blood on his hands. When he reached the end, her father lifted his hands and presented them to her. "This has always been a favorite among my followers and they are _always_ more loyal after a night of heavy indulging. But tonight, tonight was different. Do you know why?"

Hermione glared at him, her fists balled tight against the marble floor.

"Tonight was different," he continued, striding closer to her, "because instead of the typical high, my Death Eaters experienced something vastly different. Do you know what it was?"

She wanted to recoil with disgust when he came to crouch down in front of her, but she didn't. Her eyes never wavered from his.

Tom gripped her face painfully, his nails gouging her cheeks and smearing the blood and powder across her skin, "Of course you do," he hissed. "You know because you did it."

Tears sprang, involuntarily, to her eyes at the pain but she just hissed at him again, "Where is he?"

His dark brown eyes flickered between hers for a very, very long time before a cruel, eerie smirk slowly spread across his perfectly carved lips, "So it _is_ true. Hmm… interesting. This should be quite fun, then." Her father tilted his head towards the Death Eaters who still stood at the entrance to the ballroom. "Bring him."

With his tight grip on her face, Hermione was unable to look around but it didn't matter. Moments later, a long, slender body clad in black trousers and a blood-soaked white button-down was thrown to the floor a few feet in front of her. The body- the man- didn't move, didn't even appear to be breathing. His back was shredded almost to the bone and his face was cut and bruised in several places; one of his fingers stood at an unnatural angle and there was a deep wound that was steadily pulsing blood from his side. He looked on the edge of death, if not there already.

Hermione's façade broke and she screamed, "Severus! _SEVERUS!_ "

Her father cackled, the sound sending chills down her spine, " _Rennervate_ him."

His limp body was pulled into a kneeling position with a Death Eater holding each of his arms before a third pointed a wand at his temple and hissed, " _Rennervate_."

Severus gasped in a sharp, almost painful sounding breath as he was revived before breaking into a round of violent coughs that left blood flecks on his face. His head still hung forward and his voice was hoard and ragged, "Do what you will, but I don't know where they have taken her. You are wasting your time."

Tom broke into gleeful, evil laughter, "My dear Severus, how rude of you! Are you not going to welcome our lovely new guest to the festivities?"

His head rose, ever so slowly, until his wide, horror-filled eyes found her just before him. His expression crumpled, "What are you doing here?" Severus pleaded, tears leaking from his blackened eyes. "HERMIONE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

"I wasn't going to leave you here!" Hermione lunged for him but she was stopped by a myriad of ropes that came from somewhere behind her and bound her arms to her sides. She landed on her knees just as her ankles were bound together as well. "I had to try, Severus! I was not going to just abandon you!"

Severus' head fell forward again, his lank, blood-soaked hair hiding his broken face. His shoulders were shaking as he wept, his tears reflecting off the polished marble, "You were supposed to go," he murmured in gasps. "You were supposed to keep yourself safe!"

"And what about you?" She demanded. "Who was going to help _you_?!"

"I had my doubts," her father began to circle them as if a predator stalking his prey, "when I first received the news of your relationship, of your deceit. It all seemed so… _gauche_. So trite. So predictable. Surely my own blood, my own child would be smarter than to fall in love with her keeper; smarter than to attempt anything against me." He stopped to loom behind Severus. "But it would appear that I was wrong."

Tom pulled something from the pocket of his gore-spattered suit and threw it between them.

Pictures.

Magical pictures.

Hermione's eyes slid shut, even as she wept silently. She recognized those pictures- they were all from the day she had convinced Severus to get away from the castle for a few hours; the day she had attempted to buy Christmas gifts for her friends. There were pictures of Severus leading her out of the shop with his hand on the small of her back, pictures of her winding her arm through his as they walked down the street, pictures of him whispering into her hair, pictures of her kissing him at the Apparition point.

There was one picture that stood out the most though- the picture of Severus looking down at her when she wasn't paying attention, his obsidian eyes full of affection and love. It only lasted for a moment before he looked away and smirked at something she said before the picture repeated from the beginning.

If there was any doubt, that single picture was the end of it.

Severus looked at the pictures, then at Hermione with utter disbelief, "But… h-how…?"

Tom took out his wand and dragged it almost sensuously across Severus' neck before fisting his hand in his hair and yanking his head back violently, "It would seem that not everyone in the Order is your friend."

Severus still looked confused but Hermione knew.

The damning words came back to her: _I warned you to stay the fuck away from him! That girl has made her own bed and now she has to lie in it!_

Lily had sold them out, just as she had threatened to.

Her father dug the tip of his wand into Severus' throat, "I would have killed you just for the pictures," he purred, his eyes flicking up to Hermione. "But the contents of the anonymous letter that accompanied them were even _more_ interesting. I would be willing to bet that you can imagine what it said. Tell me, Hermione. Tell me what it said."

Hermione shook her head, desperately willing her raw magic to make an appearance. Where was it when she truly needed it? Why could she not summon it? Usually she couldn't get it to behave but now, when their lives were truly in danger, it refused to appear. Was she _too_ scared to summon it? Were there special wards on the house? The room? Or was it just that unreliable? She needed to get out of there to be sure, she needed to try somewhere else.

Tom bared his teeth in a sick parody of a smile, " _Crucio!_ "

Severus body began to twist into unnatural, painful angles as the torture exacerbated his already grievous wounds, "Stop! Please, stop! Please- I'll do anything you want, give you anything you want if you just _stop!_ Please Tom, please!"

He removed his wand and the spell stopped, leaving Severus panting even harder than he had been before. Severus was too weak to get up from the floor so he simply laid there, a pool of blood quickly forming beneath him.

"Please," Hermione begged through the painful sobs, no longer thinking of anything except Severus. "Please, let me heal him. Please! He'll die if I don't stop the bleeding soon. Please, Tom- I'll do anything! _Anything!_ "

Tom came over to crouch in front of her again, taking one of the pictures from the floor to eye it with disgust, "I never imagined my own child could sink so low. How disappointing."

She could see Severus just beyond her father, his skin paling with the blood loss. Her heart was hammering painfully in her chest; if she could just get Tom to let her touch Severus, if should could just have a single moment… "You can do whatever you want with me, just please- let me heal him first."

He wrapped his long fingers around her neck, squeezing gently, "Oh, have no fear, _daughter_. I have the most exciting plans for you- even if you are forcing me to act on them much sooner than planned."

"My Lord," a deep, aristocratic voice came from somewhere near the door. "If I may make a suggestion?"

Tom looked up and released her neck with a congenial smile, "Of course, Lucius. I would be delighted to hear it."

Lucius? Draco's father? Hermione felt a sharp wave of hope take up residence in her chest. If he was still here, if he hadn't gone with Narcissa, that must mean that he wanted to help. It had to. Draco said she could trust him, Severus had mentioned consulting him; he was Severus' friend and confidant. He _must_ be able to help somehow.

There was a sharp _click-clack_ of shoes on the marble for a few seconds before a set of swirling black velvet robes stopped just beside her,"Severus is more use to you alive than dead, my Lord. His knowledge of the Order is invaluable. And I am almost certain that neither of them would be any use at all if you were to kill the other. Foolish love tends to work that way and I have no doubt that Severus has, too, been indoctrinated into her foolish ways."

"You do not believe they should be punished for such a betrayal, Lucius? For taking so many of your brethren from my ranks? For plotting against me?"

"Of course they should, of that there is no doubt. But how much more satisfying would the punishment be if the girl was forced to… _watch_?"

Her father's smile was wicked and evil, almost nauseatingly excited at the idea. He tossed the picture, now wet with blood, back to the floor and stood- pausing only to brush some imaginary lint from his suit trousers, "You have an eye for sophistication, Lucius. That is something I can certainly appreciate. Take them to one of the empty rooms upstairs so she can heal him. As soon as he's conscious, bring them to the dungeons so we can begin. I want him coherent for what I have planned."

The robes fluttered as he bowed and reached for Hermione's arms, "Yes, my Lord."

x-x-x

"I can handle it from here," Lucius drawled to the other three Death Eaters that had accompanied them up to the third floor of the Manor. "Go back downstairs and prepare the dungeons. The more… creative, the better."

The three Death Eaters nearly wet themselves with excitement as they tripped over each other and scrambled back down the stairs. Lucius pushed open the door before them and levitated Severus into the drawing room before placing him on the carpet in the middle. He flicked his want to remove Hermione's bindings and the moment she was free, she stumbled to kneel beside Severus. Her eyes took in the multitude of wounds, adrenaline causing her hands to shake violently, "I-I need my wand. His wounds… I…"

"I can help you," Lucius said rather coolly, handing her the vinewood wand and she immediately started chanting every healing spell she remembered ever learning. He continued speaking as if she weren't desperately trying to save someone's life. "I finally know why your father feels… inhuman. Recently, our suspicions were confirmed and now, because you helped my son- because you love my friend, I will help you."

"Great- _after_ ," Hermione murmured absently as she assessed Severus; right now he was the only thing she cared about. Everything else could wait. The worst of his wounds were quickly knitting closed but he was still deathly pale, "Shite. B-blood replenisher," she stammered over her shoulder. "I need… I need…"

He handed her three vials without a word.

Hermione yanked the corks out with her teeth in rapid succession before shoving the vials between his chalky lips, "Come on," she whispered fiercely, almost willing him to follow her commands. "Come on, Severus. Fight. Please, Severus. Please."

After the first vial slid down his throat, his lips regained some color. After the second vial, his skin followed suit. After the third, his heartbeat was markedly stronger. He was still unconscious, but he would live. Hermione slumped back, wiping a blood-smeared hand across the sweat on her forehead in relief.

"He will live?" The other wizard asked in a near whisper. "No lasting damage?"

She nodded, digging around in her pocket for the final potion- the one that would finally free him from her father's bonds. When her fingers found the glass, Hermione took a deep breath and pulled it out, the silvery liquid shimmering in the dim candlelight of the drawing room.

"You should know that I have seen the letter," Lucius stated just as quietly as before, moving to get a better look of his friend on the floor. "I know what it says."

"I have a pretty good idea as well."

"No," he shook his white-blond head, meeting her eyes when she looked up at him. "You truly do not. Whoever wrote that letter, they know about your strength when aided by your raw magic. They warned the Dark Lord to be careful of such a thing, so he modified the wards on the grounds before you arrived. I still have access to the Apparition wards, but the others… I tried to subvert them but…"

Her fists clenched around the potion. _Fucking Lily_. "Thank you anyway; I appreciate you trying. Draco mentioned before that we could trust you and Severus called you a friend so… thank you. Truly. I doubt we would have ever made it out of that ballroom without you."

It was quiet for a moment before Draco's father spoke again, "They will return for you soon. They will come to see what is taking so long and we _all_ must be gone before then."

"I know," she choked, brushed a lock of lank black hair back from Severus' split cheek. Lucius words finally registered and that tiny spark of hope flared in her chest again- though it was now competing with the almost crushing sense of guilt at what she was going to have to do. "I just want to say goodbye to him. Severus, I—"

"Wait," Lucius cut in, taking out his wand and pointing at his friend. "Let me _Rennervate_ him before you do."

"Lucius, if he is conscious, he won't…"

"I know Severus," he cut in firmly. "I have known him for most of my life. And I know that if you do what I believe you are about to without giving him the chance to say anything at all, he will never forgive you. Please, Miss Granger- trust me on this."

Hermione hesitated for a brief moment before she nodded, "Alright. Do it."

As the other Death Eater had done before, Lucius pressed his wand to Severus' temple and breathed, " _Rennervate_."

Instead of the violent revival he had the first time, Severus inhaled deeply as his eyelids fluttered. Hermione took one of his bruised hands in hers and gently slipped the hair-band from around her wrist to his. He took in another long breath before his eyes opened. It took a few seconds and even more rapid blinks before he seemed to be aware of his surroundings, "Lucius?" Severus managed, his voice still a bit raspy. "What am I doing in the drawing room?"

The aristocratic man raised a perfectly chiseled brow and titled his head, "Ask her."

Severus winced as he turned his head but froze when he saw her, covered in blood that was obviously not her own, "Hermione? What…?"

She leaned down and brushed her fingers over his face reverently, eyes already swimming with unshed tears, "Nice of you to join us. We were a little worried about you, you know. Here take this..." She put the potion to his lips. "It'll help with the pain."

He dutifully swallowed the silver potion but his dark eyes widened as the lucidity returned, "Hermione, _what are you doing here_? I thought I told you to keep yourself safe! The Dark Lord… your father… he knows. He knows it was us! If you don't get out before he comes back, if you don't use your Portkey—"

Hermione grabbed his face and crashed her lips against his in a brutal kiss, undeterred by his increasingly panicked whimpers of protest. He was slowly remembering what had just happened, if his anxious, sharp breaths were any indication. She pressed her forehead to his, tears dripping onto his cheeks, "I love you, Severus. Please try not to be too upset with me, alright? You know if there was any other way, I would do it but there isn't."

Voices could be heard from the far stairway- the potion must be working.

"Hermione," Severus pleaded, gripping her tightly to his aching chest. "Hermione, please- _get out of here_ while you still can. Get to the safe house before—"

"Lucius," Hermione choked, her throat tight. "A little help, please?"

He came forward and gently but firmly extracted Hermione from Severus' grasp. The look of betrayal in his eyes was crushing but she couldn't look away.

"What if he tries to leave?" She asked Lucius, though her eyes were locked firmly on Severus. "Will all of this have been for nothing?"

"No. The wards on the safe house are impenetrable. Other than your Portkey, nothing can get in _or_ out, save for the one who placed them and the Secret Keeper. Narcissa and I have prepared for this eventuality, just in case. She can keep him subdued if necessary."

The voices came closer.

"I trusted you!" Severus roared at his friend, face nearly scarlet with rage. He was still too weak to really move but apparently his temper was back at full strength. "I fucking trusted you to keep her safe if I was unable to!"

"Only someone with the Dark Lord's blood can truly defeat him," Lucius took a step back, wand at the ready and pointed at the door. "Everything you and I have assumed was, mostly, correct. Nearly everything we surmised about the Dark Lord was accurate. Hermione is the key to the entire thing as we always feared- so, technically speaking, I am keeping my promise to you."

"Hermione, don't do this!" Severus pleaded at her as he tried, rather unsuccessfully, to sit up. "Please, I am begging you. We can find another way, but..." He stopped again and looked down at his left forearm in confusion. "What... my arm..."

She dropped the empty vial onto the floor and it shattered into a thousand iridescent little pieces, silver droplets pooling between the glass splinters for a brief second before she wordlessly Vanished it. She didn't want her father to have access to it, she didn't want him to be able to twist and pervert their creation into something Dark because he undoubtedly would, "I gave you the potion, Severus. You were still bound to him- I had to. You can be free now; he won't be able to find you again."

Her keeper looked up at her in horror as the implication of her words sank in, "No... Hermione, no! No, I can't do this without you! Hermione, _please_ —"

"Miss Granger!" Lucius hissed. "Now!"

She gripped her wand tighter as she moved closer to Lucius, her heart breaking over and over at the sight of Severus desperately trying to reach for her from the floor that was still soaked in his own blood, "I love you, Severus. I love you and I am so sorry. Please be kind to the others, they only want to help us. I love you. I love you, I love you!"

" _Miss Granger!_ "

The door exploded in a ball of flames, revealing at least ten Death Eaters flanking her father, who was nearly foaming at the mouth with fury, "Get her before they can escape!" He roared. "Kill the others but bring _her_ to me!"

Hermione wrapped her fingers around Lucius's bicep and looked at Severus one last time, "I am so sorry, Severus. _Prewett!_ "

Lucius and Hermione Disapparated with mere seconds to spare as Tom and his Death Eaters lunged at them with an unholy bellow- the image of her keeper, covered in blood and reaching for her even as the Portkey around his wrist took him away, permanently burned into her brain. She would never forget the betrayal, the accusation, the _despair_ in his bottomless obsidian eyes for as long as she lived.

But if Lucius was right, if she really was the key to defeating Tom and Lucius really knew how after years of research and observation with Severus, then it would be worth it.

Her keeper could hate her if he needed to. As long as he was alive to do it.


	21. Sectumsempra

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: JKR owns all Harry Potter stuff. I just like to mess with it.**

 ***I've taken some liberties with D &D lore and stuff. Meh, it fits. :D***

* * *

21\. _Sectumsempra_

There were 3,851 hideous flowers in total across the four walls of peeling white wallpaper; 1,211 fuchsia, 842 cornflower blue, 321 violet, and 1,477 an off-putting shade of egg yolk. Of the 3,851 atrocious flowers- 1,549 were connected with swirling juniper vines while the remainder stood alone.

Alone. Like him.

No. _No._

There were 146 individual slats of hardwood interconnecting on the floor, 22 of which had various nicks and scratches. A shabby oriental rug covered approximately 2/5 of the hardwood and the two cream-colored sofas sat across from each other with only the rug and a small, rickety coffee table between them. Such a small distance between the sofas.

So close. Unlike them.

 _No._

"Should we stun him?"

Normally he would snort internally and his inner monologue would quip something along the lines of ' _go ahead and try_ '.

He just went back to counting.

"No, no. Darling, why don't you go see if Pansy was able to get the other bedroom set up?"

"Mother, I really think—"

"Draco… please."

Bare feet took 25 steps to the left and then a door opened once- closed once.

One person breathing. Body heat. Someone was near.

"Severus? Severus, I know you're upset but I have some healing potions here that I really think would help. Would you please take them?"

Normally he would sneer and hiss that he was not a child, that he could care for himself and hated incessant mothering.

He just stared at the fraying edge of the rug.

The person moved closer. Expensive perfume and Dragon's Blood incense. Narcissa.

"Severus… she isn't alone. Lucius stayed behind to help her. He will keep her safe, you know he will."

His fists tightened and his concentration wavered. What was he counting again? Oh yes, the frayed edge strings of the rug. 200, 201, 202, 203…

"She sacrificed her own safety to send you here instead. Are you truly going to allow her sacrifice to have been for nothing?"

Fight it. _Fight it._ He had to. If he stopped counting, if he hesitated for even a moment, the reality of it all would come crashing down and then he would lose what little sanity he had left. No. Fight it. 211, 212, 213, 214…

"Severus, I will _stupefy_ you and pour these healing potions down your throat while you're unconscious if I have to. Please don't make me do that. I really don't think Hermione would—"

His concentration shattered.

"Do _not_ …" Severus hissed through gritted teeth, the muscle in his jaw ticking with the strain. "Do not _ever_ … say her name to me again."

Narcissa came to kneel in front of him, her hands full of potion vials, "Be angry with her all you like, but that girl is the reason you're still alive. Appreciation would be a more appropriate emotion. Considering what she undoubtedly had to do to get you out of there, you should probably be mentally preparing a sonnet for her- perhaps even an entire book of poetry describing the profundity of your love. Shall I fetch you some parchment?"

His dark eyes flicked to the tiny ring of ash in the corner of the room where he had non-verbally incinerated the hair-band upon first arriving at the safe house, "That Portkey was for _her_. It was the only way I could ensure she would be safe and instead of…" Severus blinked rapidly to dispel the mist that was encroaching on his vision. "I trusted her. I trusted Lucius. I _trusted them_ and look at where that has gotten me."

"That trust landed you in a safe house that is more secure than a fortress, alive and relatively well. That trust proved the sincerity of her feelings for you and the depth of Lucius's consideration of your friendship. I would have to say that it could have been worse."

"Worse?" He ran a shaking hand over his mouth, pain tearing through his heart like a jagged edge of broken glass. "The Dark Lord has lost over half of his followers in one night, knows that it was us who are responsible, and is undoubtedly now on a bloodthirsty rampage to find her and… and…"

"Oh, Severus…"

"He is going to find her," he choked, finally giving in to the terror that was rushing through his veins with every beat of his mangled heart. His hands trembled and his voice shook. "He is going to find her, and when he does- what he did to me will look tame in comparison. She will be tortured, raped, and shredded apart piece by agonizing piece until she's nothing but a conduit for the pain. He'll _Crucio_ her, over and over, just to edge of madness before bringing her back to sanity- only to start over from the beginning. I have seen the things the Dark Lord does to those who betray him, Narcissa. Nothing will stop him until he feels that he's exacted the proper amount of revenge. Tell me, how can anything be worse than that?"

She laid a perfectly manicured hand on one bony, bouncing knee, "You had faith in my husband before, when seeking an answer about the Dark Lord's condition and again when approaching us with your plan for the Revel. He came through for you then and he will come through for you now. You are his closest friend, Severus, and it was Hermione's bravery in going against her own father, her absolute devotion to you, and her unwavering desire to do what she could to help that gave my son and his friends the push they needed to seek out the Order's protection. It was not _us_ who asked Dumbledore for their refuge, Severus- it was them. Draco was the one who sent the patronus. Once he received approval from Dumbledore, Lucius and I simply spirited them away from the Revel."

Severus leaned forward, fingers sliding to knot in his hair.

"Hermione gave my son the courage to defy the Dark Lord, Severus. She is the reason he and his friends are still alive, the reason they are safe, here, with us. Lucius knows that, just as _you_ know that Malfoy's always look out for their own. He will not let anything happen to her now, that I can promise you."

"I swore to protect her," he curled in further on himself. "I _swore_ an Unbreakable Vow and I keep failing."

"I don't think you're failing at all," Narcissa nudged his knee a little. "She's taken to prioritizing your well-being over her own, even knowing that you'd be furious enough to strangle her for it. Seems to me like you are doing everything right. She is, after all, almost nauseatingly in love with you."

When he didn't say anything further and instead started rocking, slowly, back and forth on the sofa, Narcissa held out a potion to him.

"I know it's hard," she said softly, wiggling the vial in front of his lowered face, "and I am just as worried about Lucius as you are about Hermione, but if Lucius said that he knows how to help her and she trusted him enough to send you here- then all we can do is wait. They both took enormous risks with their lives to get you out of there, Severus. So, please: take the potions, eat something, and get some rest so that when she comes back, you'll be well enough to verbally eviscerate her for being as reckless as a Gryffindor."

It took a very long time, but eventually Severus removed his hands from his hair, lifted his head, and opened his hand for the potion vial. He still felt like his world was crumbling, that he couldn't breathe and that a round of rather unmanly hysterics were just below the surface, ready to pounce at any moment, but Narcissa had a point. There was not a soul in the world Severus trusted more than his closest friend and while it pained him to admit it, he often underestimated Hermione when she continually proved that he shouldn't. She was more intelligent and cunning than he gave her credit for, and if the last few hours were any indication- she loved him more than he ever actually realized.

He was ugly and surly, temperamental and jealous.

He was possessive and biting, self-deprecating and cynical.

He'd been hung up on Lily and dismissive of Hermione.

And through it all, she had been by his side- patiently waiting for the day when he would dislodge his head from his own arse and see what was right in front of him. She had created a revolutionary potion for him, simply because she felt that he deserved a break from the pain. She had faced an Ice Nymph with him- for him- simply because that was the kind of person she was. Hermione Granger continually moved mountains for him, when he often found it difficult to even lift a finger for anyone else.

The way she loved him was an anomaly, something completely foreign and new to him, which was why it was so hard for him to trust it. But she had given him her Portkey, the _only_ Portkey to the safe house, without hesitation so he would be somewhere secure while she went off to save the world. Again.

Bloody brilliant, insufferable, annoying, beautiful, irritating, perfect, reckless witch.

Severus swallowed the first potion. Then the second. Then the third. And on, and on, and on, until Narcissa had none left to give him. She was right- he needed to be at full strength if he was going to have the energy to verbally rip her to shreds for her recklessness, which would then be followed by a strenuous night of thorough lovemaking.

As if she could read his thoughts, Narcissa smirked as she gathered up the empty vials, "Nice to have you back, Severus."

He simply nodded before straightening his ruined clothing and moving from the couch to see just what the bloody hell was taking so long to prepare a room for him.

x-x-x

Repulsion, nausea, fury, betrayal, and rage warred for the most prominent purchase in her mind as Hermione stared at the crumbling, terraced facade of Order Headquarters. She flexed her fingers, a whisper of raw magic tingling at the creases of her palms. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, "Why did you bring me here?"

Lucius was, of course, completely unperturbed and unrepentant. He sniffed a little and tossed his head slightly to move back a lock of his long hair, "Severus offered its location to me shortly before the Revel, as a means to find my wife and son in the likely event that the Order should be… unsuccessful."

Hermione's hands were clenched so tightly the tendons screamed in pain, almost as tightly as her teeth ground together, " _Why did you bring me here_?"

His icy gaze slid sideways to appraise her, "Because, while I find their complete lack of regard for you and Severus to be morally repugnant, I believe that we do- in fact- need their help."

Her mouth was already open in protest when he smoothly cut her off.

"As I mentioned to Severus earlier, I know what Dark magic your father used to strengthen himself," Lucius drawled, his eyes slipping back to the decrepit little house. "I do not know, however, where he has hidden the item I believe we seek. As someone who knew the Dark Lord very well in his youth, Albus Dumbledore very well might. _That_ , Miss Granger, is why we are here."

"That bastard just let the Death Eaters take Severus…" Hermione hissed, conflicting emotions battering at her psyche in a chaotic maelstrom. "And _she_ … _she_ sent the letter. She sold us to my father for free, simply to make a _point_. How can you possibly expect me to just walk in there as if nothing has happened? As if they did not just get finished sending Severus and I to the gallows without a single shred of guilt or remorse?"

"Is that so? How interesting. I always thought Dumbledore to possess more honor than that," he stood, stoic and unmoving, for a moment. "And by 'she', I can assume that you are referring to the garish Gryffindor girl that Severus use to simper after in school? The one that would not give him the time of day, but conversely would not allow anyone else to either?"

A tiny blue spark sizzled around one of her curls, "Yes. She sent the letter and the pictures partly because I'm friends with her son and partly because she was upset over losing Severus' attention."

"Why am I not surprised? Gryffindors always did lack the art of subtlety."

"If I go in there with you, I'll want to kill them," Hermione warned, her warm cinnamon eyes narrowed on the front door- a thousand different revenge scenarios playing out in vivid technicolor in her mind at rapid speed. "Severus would understand. The other Order members would understand. I'd be willing to bet that, when all of this was over, even the fucking Ministry would understand!" She had to stop her rant and take a slow, if not shaky breath. The moldy bricks of Headquarters blurred and she wiped at her eyes with trembling fingers. "How could they do that to us? After everything we've done, everything we've risked to help them they just… they left us to die, _sent_ us to die. Had you not been here, we probably would have."

For the first time, Lucius's perpetually emotionless mask slipped and there was genuine sympathy, anger, and disgust marring his unlined face, "I wish that I had an answer for you, Miss Granger. I do. But even I find it difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile the choices they made tonight. I may have been branded as a Death Eater, but that was something I did to protect my family when there appeared to be no better options. Everything I have ever done has been to that end. Dumbledore's betrayal of Severus' faith is disgusting, but I can understand it from a strategic perspective- even if it does seem a bit too clinical and cold. But the woman…" He shook his head. "Setting aside the obvious reasons that something like that is abhorrent, even if she thought you _were_ a genuine threat to her son's well-being… purposefully exposing you and Severus could have cost the Order the war. It could have cost her and her son _everything_. I truly do not understand how the side of the Light can sometimes be more brutal than those of the Dark."

"After everything, I just…" Hermione swallowed back the bile that was rising in her throat. "Please, don't ask me to go in there."

His strong, regal voice was gentle, "What they did was wrong, Miss Granger. It was and they need to answer for it. But right now, we need to find out if Dumbledore knows the location of what we are looking for. And if he does, we will need the rest of the Order to be ready for a fight because the Dark Lord will be significantly weakened. I understand that this is difficult for you, but I would ask that you set those feelings aside for the moment so we can do this first. After all, we are only capable of fighting one battle at a time and this one is rather pressing."

She hated being wrong but Lucius was right, though it felt like a monumental, razor-sharp, acid-flavored unfairness- like a soft, almost imperceptible graze against their wrists rather than a slap- to just walk into the Order's Headquarters with a neutral expression as if Severus hadn't just been tortured into a bloody oblivion…as if Lily hadn't just set her up like a pig for fucking slaughter.

"You _could_ kill them once we are inside, if that is what you truly want to do," Lucius added, his cool demeanor firmly back in place. "I would not stop you."

She sighed, "And yet I'm sensing a 'but'…?"

"But then you and Severus would have to spend the rest of your lives on the run, hiding from your father and those who remain loyal to him. Because now that he knows what you two have done, what you two _are_ together, he will never stop until he hunts you both down. He will never stop until Severus is dead and you wished you were."

There was a long stretch of silence between the two of them as they watched the nondescript little house.

"If I catch either of them alone, can I threaten them at least?"

Lucius smirked, removing his velvet Death Eater robes and stowing them in the pocket of his immaculately tailored gray trousers, "I would be disappointed if you did not. Well then, shall we?"

Hermione nodded and each took one, synchronized step closer to the wards that already pinged at their skin.

x-x-x

The Order wasn't happy about their sudden appearance, to put it mildly. Sirius refused to lower his wand from the moment they entered his house, Moody was steadily breathing down their necks, and everyone else simply watched them with undisguised suspicion and mistrust in their shifty, nervous eyes as they palmed their wands.

All, that is, except for Molly Weasley and Lily Potter- the former looking horrified at Hermione's bare wrist and the latter looking horrified at the fact that she was even alive at all. Dumbledore, on the other hand, didn't seem nearly as shocked to see them as the rest.

"When I had heard that you refused the protection offer, that your wife and son were taken the safe house without you, I figured it was only a matter of time before you came to tell me why. It would seem that I was correct in my assumption."

Lucius raised a single brow, ice blue eyes flickering between the multitude of armed witches and wizards that surrounded the Headmaster's place at the rickety kitchen table, "Indeed. Though, I must admit the Order has a rather… unorthodox way of greeting their guests."

Dumbledore smiled as if they were old friends, "A highly ranked Death Eater and the Dark Lord's only daughter appearing, unprompted and fully armed, warrants such precautions- wouldn't you say?"

"No, I would not. You have my wife and son sequestered somewhere I have no access to where I to harm any of you. And Miss Granger is an 19 year-old girl who has done nothing but help you since learning the truth of who she is. A girl who, I might add, has effectively reduced the Dark Lord's ranks by nearly 90 percent in one fell swoop. She has done more for this war in the past few months alone than the Order has in the last four years combined. Which part of that warrants such blatant hostility?"

He leaned back in the creaky wooden chair, still seemingly unfazed, "I ordered that there was to be no interference of any kind when the others came for Severus earlier tonight. Was I incorrect in assuming Miss Granger might take issue with that? If I was, please accept my apologies. I was under the impression that they were rather close."

Lily snorted softly and Hermione's fingers were squeezed in painfully tight fists at her sides- but she otherwise remained silent.

Lucius, who Hermione had quickly learned was easily a close second to Severus in deflection and deception, simply shrugged, "The nature of their relationship is of no consequence to me, nor should it be to you. We have bigger concerns at the moment."

"Oh?" Dumbledore questioned dismissively, already losing interest in the conversation. "Do tell."

"When was the last time any of you came in contact with the Dark Lord?"

They all shifted uncomfortably. It was Moody who answered gruffly from behind them, so close he was nearly perched on their backs, "I was the last one to have any significant contact with him. There was a raid, last year. What of it?"

Lucius tilted his head, "And when you were near, what did you feel? Anything unusual?"

The other wizard was silent for a moment, "He seemed darker… more inhuman than usual. I know what Dark Magic feels like and this was... something else."

"Yes. What you felt is something those in his service have been feeling for quite some time now," he turned back to the Headmaster, who now was listening with rapt attention. "It has taken many years to put all of the pieces together, but I believe we finally have done so. I believe I finally know what he has done to strengthen himself."

Dumbledore stood so quickly, the chair toppled behind him. The others let their wands drop. Hermione watched her keeper's friend nervously.

Lucius remained perfectly still, "Severus has been the Dark Lord's right hand for a long time, with myself being a close second to him. We were the only two who knew from the very beginning that he had a child, long before the rumors were validated. The Dark Lord watched Miss Granger and her parents for years while trying to come up with the best way to gain access to her without interference. He was utterly obsessed with her, often to the point of near fanaticism. He spoke often to Severus and myself of the girl's importance, but refused to elaborate further. He just kept reiterating that she was the key to something. This went on for years until, one day, he just disappeared. No one saw or heard from him for months until he suddenly reappeared at the Manor one day, proclaiming the urgent need for a keeper to watch over Miss Granger. I convinced Severus to subtly volunteer himself for the position time and time again and, eventually, he was chosen. Not long after, Miss Granger's mother was murdered."

Hermione sagged against the table with the weight of his words. She _knew_ that Tom had killed her mother. She'd felt it since witnessing the depths of his depravity at her first Revel. But hearing it confirmed, hearing that he had taken her mother's life as a means of gaining permanent access to _her_ … she wanted to be sick. She wanted to hex someone. She wanted to scream.

Instead, she forced herself to listen.

"In the beginning, the Dark Lord was adamant about keeping the girl close to him. He refused to allow her to reside at Hogwarts because there, she would be vulnerable to attacks. When she was hurt on her first day, Severus was severely tortured. The Dark Lord nearly killed him in a fit of hysterical rage. I have never seen him quite so unhinged as he was that day, when he feared she would die."

Dumbledore frowned, "But Tom has never shown any affection for another person—"

"It was not out of affection. It was out of _fear_. We long suspected that he wanted Miss Granger, alive, for some reason. But it was not until recently that I discovered why. You see, the Dark Lord is arrogant, almost overly so. This sometimes leads him to making oversights or even outright mistakes. His first oversight was his unshakable belief that Severus, whom he believed to be a loyal servant, would sway Miss Granger to serve the Dark- and let me assure you, her defection to the Dark was something he wanted fiercely. Instead, allowing her to reside at Hogwarts, ended up cementing her place with the Light but Severus, ever the talented actor, managed to convince him otherwise. He then grew overly arrogant with his plans and made his first mistake."

Molly came around the table to slip an arm over Hermione's shoulders.

Lucius slid a hand into one of his pockets and pulled out a tiny book, unshrinking it and placing it on the table facing the Headmaster, "After approaching me with the plan for the Revel, Severus planted the seed with the others that Miss Granger had shown an interest in attending a Revel… properly. We wanted to make sure that the maximum number of followers attended, after all. Of course, word got back to the Dark Lord and he was delirious with excitement- to the point where he was almost no longer lucid- because he believed Hermione was ready to take the mark herself. He then barricaded himself in my study for a bit before nearly knocking me over in his haste to leave. Once he was gone, I slipped the rather hasty wards on my study and found this."

Dumbledore reached for the book, whose covers looked suspiciously like stretched human skin, but stopped just short of touching it, "This is not possible."

"I assure you, it is."

Moody clunked his wooden leg around the table until he was beside the older wizard, "What is it, Albus?"

"There is no name for it in our world," the Headmaster nearly shuddered, "because it is not supposed to actually exist. This book is a myth, a work of muggle fiction."

Sirius and Remus peered over his shoulders curiously.

"Muggles call it 'the Necronomicon'- a book of not just Dark but exceptionally evil magic. It is fabled to only be used by the most wicked and depraved of humankind," Lucius explained, his impassive expression darkening. "And the Malfoy's have the only copy known to man."

The Order members looked confused but the Headmaster was visibly horrified, "And what do you believe Tom has used this book for, Lucius?"

He leaned over the table to silently flick the book open to a precise passage.

It took Dumbledore about 15 seconds to understand what he was reading before slamming the book shut and running his now trembling hands over his face, "It is as I feared, then."

"Will someone please explain what the blood fuck is going on?" Sirius snapped anxiously. "Why is this book so dangerous? What's he been doing with it?"

Dumbledore let out a shaky breath, "Lucius… I need a moment. Could you please?"

Lucius snatched the book from the table, shrunk it, and slipped it back into his pocket, "This book contains rituals, spells, and Dark magic practices that you could not even conjure in your worst nightmares. Reading the contents of the book, as a sane person, would have you taking your own life within hours just to escape the mental images. It is rumored to be the very Darkest of the Dark and practicing any of the contents within would earn you several life sentences in Azkaban and several repeated trips to be Kissed."

"And what has he been reading in this book?" Molly asked quietly. "What exactly was he trying to accomplish?"

He looked at Hermione as he spoke, "Immortality. He was searching for a way to be able to regenerate, over and over, even if his body was destroyed. He was searching for a way to conquer Death so that no one could ever defeat him."

Hermione felt her hands go numb and the whole of her world be reduced to nothing more than the pull of Lucius's icy blue eyes. The words fell, unbidden from her memory, "'Some riches cannot be measured in currency and are far more valuable.'"

Lucius nodded solemnly, "The Dark Lord has created a phylactery and your blood is the key."


	22. Expulso

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Much as I wish I did, JKR owns Harry Potter stuff. Not me. Mehhh.**

* * *

22\. _Expulso_

Hermione's foot barely even hit the top step before the Golden Trio was descending on her. Harry was already a blubbering mess, Neville eyed her haggard appearance- torn golden dress spattered in gore that clearly did not belong to her, split lip, crescent-shaped cuts on both cheeks, eyes swollen and pink from crying- with barely concealed horror, and Ron seemed to be the only one who actually registered the resigned expression on her face.

"I didn't want to leave you," Harry sobbed into her shoulder, pulling her close. "I am so sorry, 'Mione. I didn't want to leave you there but mum… she didn't give me a choice…"

"I know, Harry," she placated softly, her eyes faraway even as she rubbed his back in comfort. "There's no need to apologize. I understand."

Neville attempted a rather grim smile, "Even covered in someone else's blood you look good, Princess."

Severus' silky voice floated across her mind. _Princess_. Tears came to her eyes and her voice was thick, "Please… just call me Hermione. Not _that_. Please."

The handsome boy's already faltering grin faded completely, "Right. Of course, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"What happened to you?" Ron cut in quickly. "Whose blood is that?"

Hermione clung to Harry tighter, tears stinging her empty eyes, "P-Professor Snape. My father…"

Neville slumped against the railing and ran a shaky hand over his face, "The Death Eaters- they came for him earlier tonight. When Remus and Molly tried to run out and help, the Headmaster… he ordered them back inside. He said sacrifices were necessary in war…" He looked up at her. "You went after him, didn't you?"

"I had to try" she choked against her friends messy black hair. "I had to try."

"Did you… did you manage to get him out?"

Hermione nodded, "He's safe. He should recover in time."

Harry pulled away so that he could see her face, his features twisted with guilt and despair, "And you? Are you okay? Were you hurt?"

 _Are you okay? Were you hurt?_ Such innocuous little questions, completely unassuming to anyone and everyone else. She nearly wanted to weep; of _course_ she wasn't okay, of _course_ she was hurt. Her life, what little was left of it, was done. Everything was over. There was nothing to do now but fall to her knees and let the guillotine of fate slice into her skin and lead her to the place it always intended.

There was no more running.

Her father made fucking sure of that.

Hermione looked at her friend for a very long time, memorizing the shape of his eyes and the way the jade irises danced under the flickering candlelight. She categorized the multitude of cowlicks in his unruly hair and the slight bump on the bridge of his nose, the curve of his lips and the slant of his cheekbones. He really was quite handsome, now that she really _saw_ him. Hopefully, Draco would see it too… you know, someday when they weren't all hiding in safe houses and/or preparing for imminent demise.

"Promise me that you will tell Draco eventually," she squeezed his hands a few times, smiling sadly. "I'm quite certain that he'll be more receptive to the idea than you think."

Harry's green eyes widened in alarm but Neville was the one to take a hesitant step forward, "Why does it sound like you're telling us 'goodbye'?"

Ron's voice was soft, "Because she is."

"'Mione, what the hell is going on?" Harry demanded. Panic. There was panic in his eyes. "Why are you talking like… like…"

She let go of his hands and for the first time, it truly felt like the end, "I was right before, you know. About Divination being a load of rubbish."

"You mean…?"

Hermione's smile was bitter and cold, "Yes. My father finally found a way around you being the _Chosen One_."

Harry vomited on the stairs.

x-x-x

 _Moody snorted with derision, "So he created a horcrux. Big fucking deal- I've destroyed those thrice damned things before and I can damn sure do it again."_

 _Lucius shook his head, white-blond hair billowing around his face and shoulders as if he were suspended in water, "Not a horcrux, a phylactery. While both are essentially houses for a person's soul, they are vastly different."_

 _"Perhaps you should explain this to us, Lucius," Dumbledore motioned for the others to take a seat around the table. Once everyone was seated, he nodded at the other man to continue. "Please, tell us everything you know of this 'phylactery'."_

 _He and Hermione– and by extension, Molly– were the only ones to remain standing, "A horcrux houses a portion of a person's soul in order to allow them the chance to always remain in this world even after their body has been destroyed; because of this, many can be created. A phylactery, conversely, houses the entire thing instead of a single piece. If someone who had created a horcrux had their body destroyed, they would need an outside person to find another living vessel for them to inhabit until they were strong enough to fully reform. Someone who created a phylactery, on the other hand, would have no need for such assistance. You see, the lure of such a Dark object is that even if your physical body is blown to a million little pieces, you will always regenerate at the place where your phylactery is hidden- whole and unmarred as if nothing had ever touched you in the first place. It is quite literally_ impossible _to kill someone whose soul is bound within such an item."_

 _Molly looked nauseous as she tightened her arm around Hermione's shaking shoulders, "And how would someone create something like that, dare I ask?"_

 _"Typically it requires one single act of ultimate evil. In the Dark Lord's case, however, he committed thousands of acts of lesser evil in the forms of murder, torture, control- each severing his soul's tie to himself a little more until eventually, he was able to remove it altogether. It took years, but he has now finally done it."_

 _"Why did he place such importance on Miss Granger?" Dumbledore prodded without an ounce of restraint, "If he was finally able to remove his soul and create the phylactery, why does he continue to need her?"_

 _"We asked ourselves that same question for months, unable to discern the reasoning for his obsession with her. But tonight's events at the Manor illuminated many things for me and I can see now that we were wrong in one very critical aspect." Lucius hesitated, his icy eyes flickering over to Hermione and then back to the Headmaster. "We once believed the Dark Lord needed Miss Granger alive- and perhaps, in the beginning, that had been his intention. However, I… no longer believe that to be the case."_

 _Hermione stumbled back a little in utter horror, her arse hitting the table before Molly steadied her. The Weasley woman turned to Lucius with fire in her eyes, "And what_ do _you believe the case to be, Lucius?"_

 _"The book mentions that a corrupted soul, a Dark one, can be strengthened further by someone just as Dark- perpetually, for years, until the person dies. That is why we assumed he wanted her alive, to continually strengthen him, but..." His eyes were pained. "Tonight, I believe he realized that he is already as powerful as he needs to be, so the Dark Lord shifted his goal to immortality that could never be taken from him. I believe that he tried to keep Miss Granger close– keep her safe and well– because once his phylactery was ready, he planned to use her blood to strengthen himself for years to come. Now that he knows that isn't necessary, he wants all of her blood. Or, at least, as close to all of it as he can possibly harvest."_

 _"Harvest?_ HARVEST? _She's not a bloody plant for potionmaking! Hermione is a_ child _! A child who never asked for any of this nonsense!"_

 _"I understand that, Molly. Please do not think I am happy about any of this. I am just reporting my observations and conclusions as asked–"_

 _The Headmaster raised a hand to quiet Molly's building tirade. "Tell me, Lucius– what does Tom need with so much of his daughter's blood when he has already created such a powerful magical item? How would he use her for immortality?"_

 _Lucius sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as if to ward off a migraine, "From what I have gathered from the book, the blood of a direct descendant has the ability to not only permanently seal the phylactery but make it indestructible as well. Suspending the item in a basin of the blood would leave him immortal while leaving the rest of us at his mercy, until the end of time."_

 _"He intended to sacrifice me," Hermione choked, her hand coming up to cover her mouth and stifle the nausea barreling towards her throat like a freight train. She looked up at him, her vision blurry and stinging. "He wanted to keep me safe until he created the phylactery and now he… he…"_

 _"Yes," Lucius confirmed quietly. The room was silent as the grave, no one so much as breathing to break the tension. "Even without the events of the Revel playing out as they have… I believe he intended to carry out his plans soon. He was going to come for you, soon, regardless."_

 _Her entire world was spiraling. How could things get any worse than this?_

 _The Headmaster's voice sounded muffled and so very far away, "And is there a way to destroy this 'phylactery'? I cannot imagine something as innocuous as Basilisk venom would do the job for this particular item."_

 _There was a glaring lack of response._

 _"Lucius? How do we destroy it?"_

 _His voice was tight and strained, "Perhaps another time, one when Miss Granger is feeling better, would be best…"_

 _Dumbledore slammed his hands down onto the rickety table, visibly startling quite a few of the Order members, "Do you think this is a game? Just how much time do you think we have to luxuriate in before Tom unleashes Hell upon the world? Now I will ask you once more–_ how do we destroy it _?"_

 _Hermione looked up to see Lucius's teeth were clenched so tightly, the muscles in his jaw were jumping. Just like Severus._

 _Severus…_

 _Her world crumbled a little more._

 _"The phylactery was created with a multitude of evil acts," he hissed through his gritted teeth, tendons bulging white in his fists. "So it can be undone with a single act of ultimate sacrifice."_

 _The old wizard nodded in understanding, "I see. That means we will need to find someone capable of such a thing. Nymphadora, do you think–"_

 _Lucius snarled like a rabid dog, "Do not play dumb,_ Headmaster _. You know good and gods damned well what that means."_

 _One bushy white brow raised slowly, "Do I? Perhaps you should elaborate for us all– Miss Granger in particular– just in case I am mistaken in my assumption."_

 _"You heartless bastard!" The typically cool, calm wizard lunged at the table with an icy fire burning in his eyes. It took Moody, Remus, and Sirius to get a solid enough grip on his arms to restrain him, but eventually they did. Once Lucius was held tightly in place, the words fell like shards of glass from his lips, "Severus was absolutely right about you, Dumbledore. You are just as bad as those on the other side."_

 _"What is he talking about?" Molly demanded, her free hand on her hip as the other still cradled Hermione. "Albus?"_

 _Dumbledore stood, brushing some imaginary lint from his gaudy purple robes, "Is anyone ever truly 'bad'? I find that term rather subjective, wouldn't you agree?"_

 _"Albus!" She stamped her foot in frustration. "You explain yourself this instant!"_

 _Even Sirius sounded wary, "Albus… what are we missing here?"_

 _It dawned over Hermione then like the sunrise over a new day. Only her blood could seal it, so only her blood could destroy it._

 _An ultimate act of sacrifice._

 _She was wrong. It got worse. Her world shattered._

 _Hermione collapsed._

 _Somewhere far, far away, she could hear the scraping of chairs and the bustling of feet. She smelled the floral scent of Molly Weasley and the black ice of Lucius Malfoy somewhere close to her. Someone, or rather many someone's, were shouting in confusion._

 _The Headmaster's now dreamy voice sounded as though he were commenting on some lovely new drapery, "Sacrifices are necessary for the Greater Good, I'm afraid. But Miss Granger's death, while unfortunate, will hardly be a devastating loss."_

 _The last thing she registered was, to her intense surprise, nearly every single Order member screaming in disagreement and outrage._

 _All except Lily._

x-x-x

It was nearly midnight when Hermione plucked an ancient tome from the vast bookshelf surrounding Sirius' neglected library and slid onto the ancient Victorian-style sofa in front of the roaring fire nearly boneless with exhaustion. The dispassionate, unconcerned voice of the Headmaster still battered at her fraying psyche, announcing over and over how her death would be no devastating loss with almost maddening consistency. What had she ever done to deserve his hatred? He seemed like such a kind man, so pleasant and caring with those in the Order and the rest of the students at Hogwarts. Why did he continue to treat her as if she were just another extension of her father? She hadn't chosen this life; fate and genetics had done that for her all on their own. Severus had been so sure, the night of her first Revel, that going to the Headmaster for help was the right choice.

Now he was stuck in a safe house _–_ probably still aching from her shoddy attempts at healing in the spur of the moment _–_ and she was being sent like a lamb to the slaughter.

She wasn't entirely sure if they had chosen correctly in trusting the old man… but then again, what other option had there truly been? The further things spiraled out of control, the less Hermione believed that there ever _was_ a correct choice. Perhaps they had all been fucked from the moment she'd been born. Perhaps they'd never had a chance at all. In the end, did any of the semantics really matter? Tom _–_ her father _–_ was the Dark Lord and he spent most of his life murdering people in an attempt to create one of the most evil magical items known to the world. Now he had finally succeeded and Hermione was the literal key.

Seal it or destroy it.

Those were the only two choices to her now.

Fuck.

One of the large library doors squeaked obnoxiously as it was slowly pushed open. Hermione looked up, fully expecting either the Golden Trio coming to drag her to bed or Lucius coming to share the possible location of the phylactery.

Instead, she was presented with the beautiful, seraphic face of Lily Potter.

Hermione gently closed her book and set it on the small coffee table. She didn't even have the energy to glare at the older woman; there was simply no room left for anything other than resignation and thoughts of Severus, "Sorry- I meant to head to bed long before now. Just give me a moment and I'll be out of your way…"

Lily halfheartedly pushed the door closed and moved further into the room, "No need. I'm only here to talk to you, after all."

Her fingers went lax around the book's spine and she sighed. Gods, she was just so fucking _tired_ , "Alright. What about?"

"I don't think it's any surprise that I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight… or ever again, for that matter. Is it?"

Hermione grit her teeth, little blue sparks caressing her palm, "No. It's not a surprise at all."

"I didn't think so," Lily mused, plopping herself down on the other end of the sofa. "So you know, then. About the letter… the pictures."

Rage. Fury. Pain. Injustice. Terror. Disgust.

 _How dare she? How dare she endanger you… endanger_ him _just to make a fucking point? She could have killed him… he almost died because of her. Severus will always have scars as a reminder; he will never be free from the memories of whatever arduous torture he endured before you got there. He will never truly be free from her father now._

Hermione's raw magic came roaring to life with an almost frightening vengeance, sparks of varying blues singing the fabric of the sofa and winding themselves around her fingers as they begged to be released. Despite this, her voice was quiet, "Stop."

"I don't regret it, you know. Selling you and Sev out to your father," Lily leaned closer, her eyes glinting in the glow of the fire. "In fact, I would do it all over again."

 _Unrepentant, malicious fucking bitch. How dare she? Who does she think she is? You are Lord Voldemort's daughter– half his stature but just as powerful. How dare she taunt you? Does she not value her life?_

"S-stop," Hermione stammered again, this time a little louder… though whether she was beseeching Lily or her own raw magic, she didn't know anymore. " _Stop_."

"I warned you to leave my son alone," she hissed, wrapping one of Hermione's wild curls around her finger before tugging viciously. "Does Sev know that your torture was his fault?"

 _You could sever those filthy fucking fingers with a single thought._

 _No… no, I am not my father!_

 _No, you are not. But she nearly took Severus from you. She nearly had him killed. You would let her go unpunished? He would kill anyone who hurt you…_

She flexed her fists, sparks burning into the ancient coffee table, "Get… your hands… _off_ of me."

Lily smirked, scooting closer. Her breath ghosted across Hermione's ear, "No doubt that Sev will be utterly _devastated_ when his little whore is no longer around to warm his bed. Try not to worry too much though…"

Her raw magic railed against the tight reigns of control like a storm battering the seas.

"Even though the thought makes me a little queasy, I will be _sure_ to care for his lonely, broken heart…"

There was lightening in her veins and thunder in her blood.

"Over… and over… and over… and over…"

Magic roared over the pounding in her ears.

"Until he can't remember the color of your eyes…"

Her vision blurred.

"Or the taste of your _–_ "

 _No!_

Hermione snapped, a blast of raw magic exploding from her skin and reducing everything in the room to tatters as she punched Lily square in the face. Her fist connected with the other woman's jaw with a resounding _CRACK–_ blood spurting from her mouth as the doors to the library flew open.

"Alastor, Sirius _–_ grab her!"

Mindless with rage and magic, Hermione lunged for Lily with her hands curled into rigid claws as she swung wildly. The rational portion of her brain begged her to stop but the other portion, the one currently dominated by her furious raw magic, cooed and assured her that she was in the right… that she was defending Severus. Protecting him. _Saving_ him.

Yes. He had already suffered so much because of her own foolish mistakes. It was now her job to ensure it didn't happen again… even after she was gone.

Hermione wrenched her arms from Sirius and Moody's grasp and lunged again, teeth bared like a rabid predator.

A deep, imperious voice boomed throughout the tiny library, "HERMIONE GRANGER; WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

She was too drunk on her own magic to do anything more than growl.

"SOMEONE EXPLAIN BEFORE I SEND HER BACK TO TOM, PHYLACTERY BE DAMNED!"

"Albus, for goodness sake," Molly pushed past the Headmaster to break Hermione's line of vision. She opened her arms and waited for a moment, just long enough for the men to release their hold, before she wrapped them around her back. As the magic slowly receded, tremors began to wrack her body. "Oh, you poor girl. It's alright now, shhhh. Just take a few deep breaths. That's it, darling. Just breathe."

Hermione melted into Molly's embrace just as the tears started to fall.

"I know, darling. I know. Shhh… it's alright."

Dumbledore took a few angry steps into the room, "Molly, I cannot simply stand by while innocent Order members are assaulted _–_ "

To Hermione's immense surprise, Harry was the one who spoke first, "Mum… mum, you _didn't_. Please tell me you didn't!"

The Headmaster looked increasingly confused, "Harry, what _–_ "

"She sold Miss Granger and Severus to the Dark Lord," Lucius drawled casually from the doorway as Molly pulled Hermione in closer, eyes narrowed at the woman still bleeding on the floor. "Sent him an anonymous letter detailing their plan with the potion among… other things as well." At the Headmaster's raised brows, he simply shrugged. "Your impression that they were 'rather close' was decidedly accurate. Do I need to say more?"

Remus looked horrified. Sirius looked disgusted. Moody was already bearing down on Lily and Nymphadora was shaking her head in utter disbelief. Ron and Neville were attempting to pull Harry back as he tried to move further into the destroyed library, but it did precious little.

"'Mione…" He choked, reaching for her. "I…"

"Get away from her!" Lily shouted, scrambling towards her son. Moody's drawn, gnarled wand pointing down at her face was the only thing that stopped her. "Harry, _please_!"

"Lily…" The Headmaster began, seemingly at a loss. "Lily, surely this is a mistake…"

"I already lost my husband to that fucking lunatic!" She sobbed brokenly, burying her face in her hands. "I can't lose my son, too. Not to her. I can't. I can't…"

"So you give away the Orders plans?" Moody growled, thrusting his wand at her. "You jeopardize our spy? You jeopardize us _all_?"

Dumbledore raised a hand, "That is enough, Alastor."

"She could have destroyed everything we've worked for! She could have gotten us all killed!"

"And yet, here we are. I believe we need to take a step back and…"

"Are you truly defending such treason?" Lucius scoffed in disbelief. "Do you despise this innocent girl _that_ much?"

"Of course not," the Headmaster nearly smiled. "But clearly, the situation is not as black and white as it seems and, considering Miss Granger's impending sacrifice, I hardly think it matters _–_ "

"Hardly think it _matters_?" Moody clunked his heavy wooden leg hard against the threadbare carpet as he stalked towards the older man, "For the last few months, we have sat idly by while you made questionable decision after questionable decision. We trusted that you knew what you were doing, that you had a plan, but clearly you've finally snapped. It didn't feel right when you left Snape to be taken by Death Eaters and it didn't feel right when you dismissed the potential sacrifice of an 19 year-old girl as 'hardly a devastating loss'. As a founding member of the Order of the Phoenix, I motion to have you replaced as our leader because I no longer feel you are of sound mind and that your questionable decisions endanger us all."

"You are well within your right to make such a motion," Dumbledore said rather smugly, completely unconcerned as his eyes still twinkled like usual. "You understand, however, that such a motion must be passed in a unanimous vote."

"Absolutely. All in favor, raise your hand."

Every single hand, including the trembling one of Lily Potter, went straight into the air.

That infuriating twinkle promptly faded from the old man's eyes, "Very well, but the consequences of this will be on _your_ head, Alastor. "

Just as the Headmaster reached the door to the stairs, Lucius blocked the entranceway, "The Dark Lord's phylactery is a locket he used to wear- gold, with a black, serpentine 'S' on the face. Do you know what he would have done with it?"

"Perhaps you should consult with the new head of the Order _–"_

Alastor's voice cut through the air like a knife, "Damn it, Albus! Cut the shite and just answer the fucking question or I will have you charged with treason and thrown in Azkaban when this is all over!"

"Tom is very symbolic," Dumbledore pursed his thin lips. "He also leans towards the melodramatic. Enjoys the theatrics of a performance, you know?"

"Where would he have hidden it?" Lucius demanded again. "After practically marching Miss Granger to the gallows with a smile, the least you can do is tell me where we can find the locket."

"This time, I suggest you let her go alone, Lucius," the old man scoffed, moving towards the stairs. "Tom is no fool- assuming I am correct, he will not have left the cave without significant safeguards... ones that would almost certainly kill you. And the Dark Lord's daughter is certainly not worth dying for."

Without another word, Dumbledore descended the stairs _-_ the silence disturbed a few moments later by the telltale _CRACK_ of Apparition.

Hermione was exhausted from the resurgence of her raw magic and emotionally drained from the entire evening, unable to do anything other than collapse against Molly and Harry. She had nothing left, not even the slightest bit of energy to care that they finally had their answers.

"Get her to bed," Moody nodded towards the door. "We can't come up with a solid plan for this phylactery business until she's coherent again. We can reconvene in the morning."

They had to practically drag her, but Hermione had just enough consciousness remaining to register Lucius's whisper as they passed, though she was much too far gone to understand why he was murmuring numbers- times?- to her. Maybe she would be able to figure it out after getting some sleep. Gods, she was just so fucking _tired_ and all she wanted, more than anything else in the world, was to see Severus one more time.


	23. Point Me

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Say it isn't so! JKR is the sole owner of all lovely Harry Potter things? Yes, she is!**

 ***Lemon chapter. I hope you like citrus!***

* * *

23\. _Point Me_

 _Swirling flurries of puffy snowflakes hung, suspended, just out of reach above his head. In the middle of the rocky mountain clearing before him sat a plump, inviting bed with crisp sheets the same color as new snow. Surrounding the clearing in a perfectly formed circle, massive fir trees swayed gently as if touched by a light breeze- though there was none that he could feel. What in all the hells was this place? It resembled the Ice Nymph's mountain- what he remembered of it, anyway- but he couldn't possibly fathom why he was back here and why there was a bed in the middle of strangely cleared ring of trees. Severus took a few small, tentative steps into the dreamy glade before he saw her._

 _Hermione._

 _She was sitting on the far side bed with her back to him, seemingly staring out into the thick ring of trees ahead. Even from where he stood, it was clear that she was still wearing the glittery gold dress from the last time he saw her; the arm was still torn and there was still a smear of his own blood around the waist from where he vaguely remembered touching her before she sent him to the safe house. He came closer still, his boots crunching over the rocks and jagged stones with each step. In the silence, his movements were as loud as successive_ CRACKs _of Apparition and yet, she remained completely still as if she heard nothing at all._

 _Severus stopped at the edge of the bed opposite her, his typically abrasive voice quiet and seeking, "Hermione?"_

 _He fully expected the sound of his voice to startle her but instead, Hermione simply turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. In direct contrast to the state of her dress, her face was once again whole and unmarred. Her eyes, along with her words, were warm like the summer sun, "Hello, Severus."_

 _That warmth washed through him and left the most pleasant tingles in their wake; from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes there were tiny little sparks pinging, over and over, until his skin nearly sizzled, "What is this place?" He asked, flexing his fingers in a poor attempt to disperse the odd static building under his skin. "Why are we here?"_

 _"Mmm…" She hummed noncommittally, motioning towards the spot on the bed directly beside her. "Come sit with me."_

 _Truth be told, he was nearly helpless to refuse.. though not that he wanted to anyway. But something about this place, something about_ her _was pulling him in like a magnet. So warm, so enticing. Severus complied and sat down next to her, almost close enough to touch but not quite._

 _"Everything here is so beautiful," she mused, looking back towards the swaying treeline. "I wish we could stay forever."_

 _"Hermione," Severus rested one of his large hands on her knee as a myriad of emotions warred for prominence in his chest. Panic. Desire. Unease. Lust. "Your blatant disregard of my questions is rather unsettling. I would like to remind you that I am not only an old man, but prone to bouts of extreme paranoia as well. Would you please spare me the impending cardiac arrest?"_

 _She smirked, resting her head against his shoulder, "Even for you, that is a bit overdramatic."_

 _"Severus Snape; pleasure to meet you."_

 _"Alright, so maybe not terribly overdramatic."_

 _"Better."_

 _There was silence between them for a while before Severus slowly but deliberately turned and tilted her head up with his fingers under her chin. His bottomless obsidian eyes flickered between hers, "Tell me. Please."_

 _Hermione's eyes filled with tears though she staunchly refused to let them fall, "I have a theory… but I can guarantee that you won't like it."_

 _Those warring emotions of his promptly quit fighting against each other and instead, pushed one to the forefront of his mind. Panic. He felt panic. It swept through him, harsh and unyielding, until he was nearly dizzy with its potency. The words felt like an_ Avada Kedavra _at point blank range, "This is the end, isn't it?"_

 _He knew the answer, of course he did, but that didn't make it hurt any less. Hermione cupped his face, thumbs brushing across his sharp cheekbones, "Is it selfish of me to wish we had more time?"_

 _The way she looked at him, as if she were a budding flower and he was the sun in the sky helping her bloom… how was such a thing possible? How could someone like her, someone so pure and good, possibly be meant for him? How could she_ want _him? If he lived a thousand lifetimes, it would never make sense. And yet… as he committed her utterly lovely but somewhat mismatched amalgamation of features to his memory… he realized that perhaps it did make sense somehow. Maybe it did._

 _Maybe it did._

 _Here, in this place, there was no war. There was no evil tyrant or manipulative leader, no bitter keeper and lovely Princess. No teacher and student. No light and dark._

 _There was just Hermione and Severus._

 _"I love you," he breathed the words across her face as he pressed their foreheads together. "You do know that?"_

 _Her eyes slipped closed, "Severus…"_

 _"You are far more than I ever dared to dream for, Hermione," he continued, pressing soft kisses to her brows, her lids, her nose, her cheeks. "And you are most certainly far, far more than I deserve."_

 _"Sometimes we are given the things we need, rather than those we deserve," she sniffed. "Merlin knows I need you."_

 _"Do you?" Severus could feel his fingers tremble, could feel the almost boyish hope and desperation for someone to actually need him in the world as sharply as he had when he was her age. "Do you truly?"_

 _"Of course I do! Why would you ever–"_

 _That warm, tingling static was back- only this time the pleasant hum under his skin began to slowly intensify like someone breathing onto a smoldering ember. He threaded his long fingers through her mass of curls and gently kneaded the base of her scalp, "Tell me why." The words slid purposely like liquid seduction from his lips, his deep baritone almost visibly dancing across the bare expanse of her collarbone… her forearms… her legs…_

 _Oh yes, he was aware of how his voice could be used._

 _Hermione's cheeks flushed and her breathing quickened, her mouth falling slack at his massaging, "I… I…"_

 _"So_ eloquent _, Princess," Severus purred. He nudged her jaw with his aquiline nose until her head fell back, exposing her throat. There was no time wasted before he pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses against the sensitive skin. Merlin above, she tasted like fucking honey and sun and freedom and fire. "Quick- before I devour you."_

 _"What… ngghh…" She grit her teeth to trap the groan in her throat. "What… was the question…?"_

 _"Why."_ Kiss. _"Do you."_ Lick. _"Need me?"_ Nip.

 _Hermione's words were stilted and halting when his teeth began grazing the tight flesh over her collarbone, "B-because… you… so brave…"_

 _"Oh?"_

 _"Loyal… hon-honest…"_

 _Severus hid his smile against her chest, "I think you need your head examined."_

 _"Intelligent… handsome…"_

 _He snorted softly, "Now I am certain of it."_

 _"You are… just…_ everything _…"_

 _The way she spoke with such conviction, as if the words were sacred- a prayer- to be cherished and protected… Gods, Severus' palms began to sweat pressed against the silky skin of her inner thighs. His heart was hammering in his chest. How had her breathy words reduced him to a spotty teen? Why was he suddenly overwhelmed by the feel of her, the taste of her, when he had already mapped every square inch of her naked body with his tongue? He should be confident and assured in touching her- after all, he could undoubtedly make her come whilst blindfolded and with both hands tied behind his back._

 _But this… this felt different than before. This was not just the desire to act on their mutual, almost cataclysmic attraction for each other. This felt like something much, much more._

 _Severus was nearly ready to come in his shorts._

 _His shaky fingers moved, ever so slowly, higher and higher up her thighs. It was only through the sheer force of will that he managed to speak with any semblance of normalcy, "How curious I find it that there is a bed, just large enough for two, in the middle of this place."_

 _Hermione's voice warbled like his twittering heart, "N-not really… curious at all…"_

 _"Mmm… perhaps you are right," Severus brushed his lips against hers for only the briefest moment of contact eliciting a whimper from her. He finally reached his destination and when he felt that her knickers were already soaked through, he just couldn't help but smirk . So, she felt it too. "Well, since the bed is here… what ever should we do with it?"_

 _"Gods above, Severus! It should be positively illegal to want you like this," he pressed the pads of his fingers into the damp fabric and she nearly sobbed. "_ Fuck _."_

 _"Fuck?" He drawled, savoring the way she visibly shivered when he said it. "While I do find it incredibly enticing in that tone of voice, I must insist that you ask nicely, darling. I did make a promise… but I cannot allow you to forget your manners."_

 _"I want you," Hermione rasped, fingers spasming as he dragged his own, back and forth, across her aching flesh. "I want you and only you. Forever. Until the fucking sun explodes and the stars turn to dust. I want_ you _, just you, Severus. Always, only you."_

 _There it was; that vaguely familiar feeling that had eluded him for months now. Since the moment he met Hermione, he'd begun to feel it resurface but it wasn't until he realized just how badly he wanted her did it begin clawing at his brain, eating away at him like an incurable necrosis. The attraction had been there from the start, but somewhere deep in the far recesses of his heart, he had yearned for more._

 _Since he was very young, Severus had wished for nothing more than to have someone- even just one person- truly need him, truly want him around. A family, a friend, a lover. It made no difference. He just wanted to feel like he wasn't an incredibly acerbic and unsightly waste of space. There had been no chance with his alcoholic father and his mother, bless her heart, had been so broken by Tobias that she didn't really have much left to give anyone else. For a long time, he thought that perhaps Lily would be the one to fill that void for him, but even when they were friends, she never truly_ saw _him. It was clear now that Lily was a pleasant dream, but Hermione… Hermione was embedded within him, woven into the strands of his DNA and imprinted on the blueprints of his cells. Severus would likely always feel the sting of losing Lily's friendship, but losing Hermione would kill him. After all, how could he continue to function without something as vital to him as the heart that pumped his blood or the oxygen in his lungs?_

 _It was enough to bring him to his knees and offer her the world._

 _Well, if his hand wasn't firmly between her legs, of course._

 _Hermione pulled him down and captured his mouth in a kiss that seared through his veins like Fiendfyre. He could feel the tears building behind his eyes but staunchly pushed them away- there would be plenty of time for that later. For now, her tongue pushed past his lips and traced the uneven ridges of his teeth before she began to taste him in earnest. Hermione gripped the front of his ruined white shirt and pushed against his chest until he fell back against the sheets rather clumsily._

" _I want you," she repeated forcefully. "Any and every way I can have you." One thick, bronze leg moved across his lap to settle on the opposite side, allowing her sodden gusset to writhe against the almost embarrassing tenting of fabric that hid his fast-hardening cock. Her lips grazed his jawline and her breath hitched. "G-gods… "_

 _With each roll of her hips, frissions of lightening sparked at the base of his spine, slowly climbing up the bony notches towards his liquefying brain with the intent of incapacitating him. Severus' hands came up to her waist, momentarily stilling her. If he didn't speak now, the sultry roll of her hips assured that it would soon be too late, "Hermione, if you are at all unsure–"_

 _She clapped her hand firmly over his mouth, eyes bright and gleaming, "While your persistent nobility is endearing, I find it incredibly unwanted at the present moment. So please; do us both a favor and shut the hell up."_

 _As if to emphasize her point, Hermione's free hand slid down his body with agonizing slowness until she reached placket of his trousers and cupped his erection firmly. Severus' groaned, his eyes rolling back and lids fluttering as pathways in his brain began to short-circuit. The moment she removed her hand, he licked his suddenly parched lips, "Do you have any idea what your bossiness does to me?"_

 _Two sculpted brows rose above wide cinnamon eyes, "_ Really _?"_

 _A delicious shiver tittered across his skin, "I nearly shudder to think of what you could make me do, commanding me about when I am… like this."_

 _Perhaps the most devious smirk he'd ever witnessed spread across her lips, "Severus Snape… sexually submissive?" Hermione waved her hand to undo the buttons of his trousers. "My, my we are full of lovely little surprises."_

 _Quick as lightening, Severus wrapped one of his long legs around hers and used his height and weight advantage to flip her onto her back beneath him. Before she could protest, he gathered both of her slim wrists in one of his large hands and pinned them above her head. The words were like shards of glass wrapped in silk, "Not always, darling- try not to get too attached to the idea. I have had just as many fantasies of having you at my mercy as I have about_ being _at yours."_

 _He pressed his iron cock into her thigh and Hermione sucked in a sharp breath, "And which scenario would you prefer for our first time, Severus?"_

 _The true meaning of her words was glaringly obvious: 'first' was a gentle replacement for 'only'. She wanted him to choose because it was a goodbye. This entire thing- the mountain, the clearing, the bed- it was an elaborate form of commemorating the last time they would likely ever see each other alive._

 _No._ No _._

 _Severus released his hold on her wrists and leaned down to breath into her ear, "I am the keeper of the Princess, hers to command in every way."_

 _She ripped his shirt open, buttons flying in all directions and palms sliding over his scarred chest with unrepentant greed, "A-and as her keeper… what is your scope of responsibility?"_

 _"I am, essentially, her bodyguard. Therefore, I must_ guard _her_ body _," he murmured a delicate_ Diffindo _, slicing the fabric of her dress from neck to hem and baring her body to his hungry gaze. "I must ensure that nothing… untoward happens to it."_

 _"And if the Princess wanted something untoward?"_

 _"Hmm… then I suppose it would depend on the nature of said untoward-ness. For example," Severus moved one of his hands to cup the heavy mound of her breast, clad in nothing more than simple black lace but made his mouth water nonetheless. His thumb brushed her nipple and it promptly jumped to attention. "If she were to ask for gentle, delicate attentions to be paid…" She arched into his touch and Severus swirled his thumb in circles around her peak. "Well, in that case, I would have to comply… with slow, reverent lovemaking. Sliding into her impossibly hot, impossibly tight pussy with the utmost care. She is rather fragile, after all."_

 _Hermione was nearly panting now, "And if… if she wanted the complete opposite of gentle and delicate?"_

 _Severus yanked the lacy cup of her bra down so hard the material tore under his grip and Hermione almost choked on her own gasp, "In_ that _case…" He lapped at her dusky nipple with his tongue for a few torturous swipes before pulling it into his mouth and suckling, hard. She threw her head back and moaned. "I would comply, of course, by fucking her into the mattress until she could no longer walk. There would be no careful posturing, no sweet words. Just my cock pounding into her dripping cunt, using it for my own selfish pleasure, until her womb was coated with my seed."_

 _"A-and her?" She used her own series of random_ Diffindo _'s to reduce the remainder of his shirt to tatters before discarding it over the side of the bed. "Would she get to come, too?"_

 _"Once again, it depends entirely on the nature of our coupling. Gentle and delicate? Of course my good little Princess would get to come. It would be my honor as her servant to bring her such immense pleasure. Fucking her into the mattress? The wanton little harlot would need to beg for it, convincingly, before getting such a reward."_

 _He Vanished her bra and began worrying the sensitive skin of her breasts, carefully but firmly, between his teeth until dark red marks bloomed against the flesh, "For s-someone with no practical knowledge, you sound quite confident… oh, Merlin…"_

 _Severus smirked against her chest, "I not only have done thorough and extensive research over the years, but I also have been rather intimately acquainted with the Princess's lovely body. I do not recall having any trouble bringing her exquisite pleasure with my mouth… and my hands… how much more difficult could it be to add my cock to the equation?"_

 _"For the love of everything holy in this world," Hermione gasped, desperately pushing his trousers down his hips, "make me yours, Severus._ Please _."_

 _"Gentle and delicate?" His fingers ghosted across her swollen labia. "Or fucking you until you cannot walk?" He pressed his fingers into her pussy from outside the cloth._

 _Apparently forgetting that she was, indeed, a witch, Hermione yanked the skimpy, soaked knickers to the side and shoved his fingers inside of her as she hissed: "If I can't walk, my keeper can carry me."_

 _Good Gods Almighty, she was going to kill him. The sight of her almost naked and nearly delirious with lust, desperately pleasuring herself with his hand was… it was glorious. Seraphic. Divine. Nothing and no one else would ever, could ever compare to this. She had, in effect, ruined him for any and all other women- and Severus wouldn't have it any other way. He didn't want anyone else. He never would. Hermione Granger was the be all, end all for him._

 _It was both terrifying and comforting at the same time._

 _"Severus," she broke him from his musing with a hand wrapped around the base of his cock, "fuck me before I lose whatever little is left of my mind._ Now _."_

 _"Careful, darling," he purred, gripping himself around her hand and sliding the tip along her dripping folds. "Too much snark and I will be forced to punish you."_

 _"Oh thank fucking Merlin, please!"_

 _She was too much. She really, really was. How was he supposed to last when everything that came out of her mouth had the same effect on him as when she sucked him into blissful oblivion? A tiny part of his brain warned him to be cautious, to be careful the first time as neither of them had ever done this before._

 _The other 98% said 'fuck it'._

 _In one fluid motion, Severus pressed into her without stopping until he was fully buried to the hilt. There was no tangible barrier to break through, contrary to what all of the smut he'd read over the years led him to believe. Instead, he simply found himself immersed… surrounded… engulfed… by her almost painfully tight, impossibly searing heat. The pressure that had been building in his cock was nearly excruciating now and if he didn't move soon, there was a very good possibility that he might actually die._

 _Hermione's grip on his shoulders left her knuckles white and her face was scrunched in apparent discomfort, her breaths coming out slow and measured. She did say that she didn't want gentle but…_

 _"Hermione?" Severus managed rather smoothly, much to his own surprise. "Darling, are you–"_

 _"So big… how…" She whimpered, still not opening her eyes. "Gods it feels…"_

 _Shite. He had hurt her. Guilt welled up within him, hot and harsh as he tried to move off of her, "I should have been more careful. Fuck, Hermione I am so sor–"_

 _Her eyes snapped open and once again, she clamped her hand over his mouth. Her legs wrapped around his waist to keep him buried inside of her, "Nobility: unwanted._ Fuck _me… or has your mouth promised more than you can actually deliver?"_

 _The guilt was quickly swept aside by an almost violent wave of lust that rocketed across his brain. Severus pulled almost entirely out of her before snapping his hips against her open thighs as hard as he could manage on the soft bed. Hermione's head fell back, mouth hanging open as she clawed at the sheets, "Holy_ shite _…"_

 _Like a muggle lightswitch, something clicked within him and he lost all semblance of control. Severus pounded into her, over and over, hard and fast as the tingles at the base of his spine and balls intensified tenfold. Her dark skin was flushed under the cold winter light, a most lovely contrast to the snow white linens beneath her glistening body. She arched into him, nails digging into his shoulder blades and hardened nipples teasing the over-sensitized skin of his chest. Severus loomed over her with one arm on each side of her bushy head, utterly mesmerized by the expression of pure bliss, of complete and total abandon currently occupying every square inch of her face. Each harsh subsequent thrust sent her jolting up the bed, her breasts bouncing with the force of his hips. The sight alone was enough to make him shatter._

 _"S-Sev… erus…" Hermione cried, heavily lidded eyes finally cracking open to watch him fuck her mercilessly. "Please… let me come… please,_ Gods _…" She dug her heels into his arse in an attempt to pull him in deeper, to hit her clit just right. "No more snark… be good… so good… I promise…"_

 _She was actually begging; his proud, fiery little lioness was actually begging. Who was full of surprises now? Not in a million years did Severus actually believe she would beg him for_ anything _, let alone something like that. He'd simply been playing the game, filling her with his own filthy fantasies in order to turn her on._

 _And she was begging. For real._

 _He was going to come._

 _Severus quickly slipped a hand between their slick bodies and felt around with his forefinger until he found that tiny little pearl nearly throbbing with need. She crashed her lips against his when he began slow, tortuous circles around the bundle of nerves. The pressure, the tingling in his cock and spine was nearing it's crescendo now and there was no stopping it this time. His blood was thrumming through his veins, his heart tripping over itself with exertion and anticipation. Wanking felt good, Hermione's touch felt Heavenly, and her mouth felt sinful. But having his iron-hard cock plunged, over and over without mercy, into her pussy while she pulled him closer and begged for more was like fire and ice and Heaven and Hell all rolled into one. It would kill him to stop but he would die if he didn't._

 _And in this moment, he didn't give a single fuck._

 _Severus swallowed Hermione's guttural cries as she finally came, the spasming of her virgin walls sucking him in further and sending him in a freefall over the edge of his own orgasm. The tightly coiled anticipation within him exploded into a nebulas of scorching yet featherlight pleasure that ripped through his nerves and left nothing but beautiful, heartbreaking ash in its wake; wave after wave of his come filled her womb as his cock emptied against her cervix. For a brief moment, there was nothing other than them- right here, right now- gasping for breath and clinging to each other in the aftermath of their first coupling. For a brief moment, it was beautiful and perfect, exactly as he always hoped it would be. For a brief moment, it was easy to forget._

 _And then he heard her gasps turn to quiet sobs._

 _"Hey," Severus pressed his lips to her lids, her nose, her forehead. "None of that. Not after, quite possibly, the best sex anyone has ever had anywhere in the history of anything."_

 _Hermione sniffed, unable to stop herself from chuckling, "You are quite the cocky one."_

 _"Would you have me any other way?"_

 _"Never."_

 _He gently removed himself from between her legs and laid on the bed, pulling her to curl into his side so he could rub her back, "I thought not."_

 _Hermione traced random patterns on the scarred skin of his pale chest in silence for a long time before tilting her head up to look at him. Her eyes were full of resignation and her voice was thick with unshed tears, "Severus–"_

 _"Later," Severus assured, his own heart twisting at the look on her face. He kissed her softly, as if the slightest movement would cause her to break beyond repair. "For right now, just be here with me. Everything else, we can deal with later."_

 _She let out a small sigh of relief against his lips, "Later, then."_

 _x-x-x_

 _Later never came._

 _Hermione was straddling him, her head thrown back as she rode him with slow, sensuous rolls of her hips. His hands were on her waist to help guide her rhythm but otherwise, Severus was content to just lay there and drown as wave after wave of liquid lightening crashed against the pleasure centers in his brain until he couldn't even remember his own name. Was there anything in the universe more beautiful than this woman,_ his _woman riding his cock like she was born to do it? Winding her hands in her hair and closing her eyes as her head tipped back, overwhelmed by the way his pubic bone hit her clit just right? He seriously doubted it._

 _She pitched forward suddenly, hands on his shoulders as the speed of her strides picked up. "Right there…" She groaned, biting her lip. "Oh fucking Merlin, Severus, right there…"_

 _The abrupt change in angle sent him careening, "Hermione…" Severus choked, unable to hold back any longer. "Hermione… so close, love… j-just like that, my perfect fucking girl…"_

 _Her nails pierced the skin of his shoulders, tears dripping onto his bony chest though he couldn't see her face, "Gods, Severus… I… I… nghhh…!"_

 _Once again, the fluttering of her walls tossed him straight over the edge. The tight coil in his abdomen shattered across his flesh like a sizzling of every color in the spectrum. Searing flashes of bliss refracted within him, bouncing off of his own cells and intensifying everything he felt until he was fairly certain that his body had been dissolved and there was nothing left but nerves and neural pathways and a smoking brain somehow leading it all._

 _"Hermione…" Severus gripped her waist as he came, mindless for anything other than the way she felt wrapped around him. "My beautiful, perfect fucking Princess…_ fuck _…"_

 _"I am so sorry," She sobbed as he came down from his high and a wave of clarity struck him. Hermione leaned down to wrap her arms around his shoulders in a shaky but fierce embrace. "Please, please try to understand. I want to stay with you, but there is no other choice; I have to do this. Please forgive me. I love you more than you could ever know."_

 _The panic was back, chasing away the post-coital bliss and wrapping itself around his lungs until it was hard to breathe, "Hermione, whatever it is you have to do, I am certain we can–"_

 _The edges of the clearing, near the ring of snowcapped firs, began to blur. Severus rubbed his eyes but nothing changed. If anything, the blurring crept closer. Hermione cupped his face and kissed him passionately, slanting her mouth across his to deepen the contact and slip her tongue into his mouth. When she finally pulled away, the sadness was gone from her eyes- all that was left was a terrifying, gut-wrenching determination, "I have to go. I love you, Severus."_

 _The blurring crept even closer, now reaching the edges of the bed. Hermione moved from his grasp and slipped away from the damp sheets. He tried to follow her, but it felt like there were frosted glass walls surrounding the bed. She was able to penetrate them, but he could not. Severus pounded on the glass, Hermione's dark outline still visible in the impending fog but only just, "Hermione!" He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks and fists battering the barrier with no effect. "HERMIONE!"_

 _Her voice was everywhere and nowhere: "Severus. Severus. Severus. Severus."_

 _"Hermione, come back to me! Come back! Please!"_

 _"Severus. Severus. Severus. Severus."_

 _"HERMIONE!"_

 _Her voice just continued to fade into the distance, "Severus. Severus. Severus. Severus."_

x-x-x

 _Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!_

Severus was jolted awake by someone pounding violently on the door to his assigned bedroom.

 _Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!_

"Severus!" Someone shouted from the other side. "Severus! Severus! Severus!"

He threw the sheets off of himself and stomped towards the door. His dream come nightmare of Hermione was still pinging around inside of his brain, something about not sitting quite right, and having someone bang on his door and screech his name at an octave he didn't even know was possible at 2 in the morning was doing absolutely nothing to improve his mood. Severus threw the door open, ready to verbally (and possibly physically) eviscerate the intruder when Molly Weasley barreling into his room, pushing right past him as if he wasn't even there in the first place.

His heart dropped directly into his stomach. If Molly was here, that could only mean…

"What's happened?" Severus demanded, tears already stinging the corners of his eyes. "Why are you not with her?"

Molly was already shoving pants, an undershirt, trousers, a button-down, and his robes into his arms, "No time. Get dressed, we have to go!"

"Molly!" He boomed imperiously, catching her upper arm in his grip to stop her arms from flapping about. "I can be ready in 30 seconds. Now, slow down and tell me what the fuck is going on."

"I'm sorry to come barging in here like this but…" Her warm brown eyes misted over and she brought a shaking hand to cover her mouth. "Gods, how could we have all been so blind? How did we not see the truth when it was right in front of us for so long?"

"Molly…"

"Albus has been outed," Molly blurted, rubbing her face. "We've all been secretly unsure of his judgement for a long time, but when he just dismissed Hermione's sacrifice like that…"

Severus felt like he'd been punched square in the stomach, " _Sacrifice_?"

"Gods, and _Lily_ … I knew she was a spiteful, jealous woman, but to actually go so far as to reveal you two to Hermione's father… and without even a shred of guilt!"

The words didn't make sense. Not in that particular order, anyway. Severus turned them over in his mind, trying to reveal their true meaning but it didn't work. His mouth felt incredibly dry and there was a tiny spark of _something_ kindling in the far corners of his mind, "Lily… she… no, that… she would never _–_ "

Molly looked nauseous, "She did, Severus. The letter, the pictures. It was her. She sent them to Hermione's father… with the intention of getting her killed in order to keep Harry safe. She thought Hermione was a threat to her son."

"He almost killed her," Severus said quietly, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. "I was incapacitated. Had Lucius not come…"

"I know; we could hardly believe it ourselves but we heard the words from her own mouth. She… she taunted Hermione, saying that she would be there for you when Hermione went off and sacrificed herself…"

That tiny something kindling in the corners of his brain was rage, fury so black it could be considered Dark Magic all on its own. It came flaring to life with a vengeance and in three quick flicks of his wand, he was dressed and presentable. The icy voice that slid past his lips was that of his Death Eater persona, a voice that he had not used in many, many years, "I am going to fucking kill her. Slowly and arduously. In the most excruciating way the Dark Lord has ever taught me, with Darkest spells I know. And when she is begging for death, I will heal her only to _Crucio_ her near insanity. Then, I will do it all again. Over and over. Until there is nothing left of her worthless fucking hide to heal…"

Molly's last words suddenly came rolling back across the almost insanely violent rage blackening his thoughts.

 _Sacrificed herself._

 _When Hermione went off and sacrificed herself._

"Sacrifice…." Severus gagged before vomiting violently onto the floor. Hermione crying as they made love, begging him to forgive her- Gods, it wasn't a dream at all! She had used her magic to reach out to him somehow… to say goodbye.

Molly waved her wand to _Scourgify_ the floor before taking his arm, "That's why I came for you, Severus. After telling us the details of the phylactery, Hermione and Lucius have left Headquarters but I don't know where they went so I couldn't follow them. He mentioned a locket and cave but _–_ "

"So it _was_ a phylactery?" His head snapped up and he wiped his mouth across one sleeve. "A cave? I know exactly where they will have gone."

"Use Legilimency to see exactly what Lucius told us, there was too much to recount now," Molly wrung her hands anxiously. "Please, Severus. There just has to be another way to end all of this without Hermione… without her…"

Narcissa's regal voice came from the doorway, "How long ago did they leave?"

"Not more than 10 minutes. I came straight here as soon as I realized."

Draco, Blaise, and Pansy were huddled together behind Narcissa but Draco was the one who spoke, his words shaky and hoarse, "Will you be able to get to them in time, Uncle Sev?"

He _had_ to. There was no other option. If he was too late… if he couldn't save her… no. No. It wasn't worth even considering. Because if he considered it, he was going to fall to fucking pieces and then he'd be no good to anyone at all.

Yes. Yes, he would make it in time. And they would find another way.

They had to.

He couldn't lose her.

Not now. Not ever.

"Show me everything," Severus lifted his wand to Molly's temple. " _Legilimens_!"


	24. Descendo

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: JKR is the sole owner of all awesome HP things.**

 ***It took me ages to get this where I wanted it to be. Sorry for the wait, but I wanted it to feel right.***

* * *

24\. _Descendo_

The freezing wind, sharp and stinging with the speed of his movements, lashed at his face and neck as he barreled forward through the inky night sky like a bird of prey. The moment Molly had freed him from the magical confines of the safe house, Severus had used his often-neglected talent for flight to take to the sky; his only parting words to the Weasley matron emphasizing the importance of destroying the three remaining potions Dumbledore had in his possession.

Now that it seemed the old man had finally lost what little sense he had left, such an asset- or liability, depending on how one looked at it- could not be entrusted to his care any longer. Most of the Death Eaters, a very large percentage, had been cleansed of their Dark Mark already and any who remained could easily be dealt with without the assistance of their potion again. Considering how skilled the Dark Lord was with perversion magic, it would not be wise to allow such a powerful potion to remain in existence, let alone leave it in the hands of someone who seemed less and less stable with each passing day. Not to mention the fact that he seemed to be actively working against Severus and Hermione at every turn.

Severus felt his chest constrict at the thought of her name. How had such an insufferable, diminutive girl wormed her way so succinctly into his heart? How had she wound herself into the very fibers of his being, woven herself almost indistinguishably into the tapestry of his admittedly barren and lonely existence? He had never meant for it to happen. On the contrary, he had tried to keep her at an arm's length time and time again, but the tenacious little chit wasn't having it. For some reason that he couldn't fathom, by some logic he could never hope to understand, Hermione had decided that she wanted him.

How lucky for her that those cinnamon eyes never failed to bring him to his knees. It almost made him laugh at the absurdity of it all; he'd never stood a chance.

Any warmth Severus felt at thinking of Hermione was swept away by the icy realization that with each passing second, he may be too late to reach her. She was determined to save the world from her father, even though something so monumental should have never been thrust upon her shoulders at all. She was determined to prove herself as someone good, to show everyone that being Voldemort's daughter was nothing more than an amalgamation of letters and unlucky genetics, even if it meant…

 _An act of ultimate sacrifice_.

Bile rose to the back of his throat and threatened to choke him. Severus was not a religious man, not after the life he'd lived, but he suddenly found himself begging any gods that would listen to spare Hermione. Over the rushing of the wind in his ears, he silently offered the gods anything to protect her; he'd even give his soul if that was what it took. He was well aware that his luck didn't generally run that way, but just this once…

Just this once, he desperately prayed for _someone_ to have mercy.

Blinking back the panicked moisture from his eyes, Severus pulled his arms tighter around his torso and forced himself forward – sleek form slicing through the night as if it his speed were a matter of life or death.

After all, wasn't it?

x-x-x

Hermione found herself feeling profoundly insignificant on that jagged little rock in the middle of a sleeping ocean, brushstrokes of indigo, azure, and navy painting the sky above them. The sheer number of stars sparkling like diamonds among the inky blue blanket was enough to take her breath away. In a different time, perhaps in a less precarious place, she and Severus could wind themselves around each other and look up at those brilliant stars together.

Yes, a different time. Maybe even another life.

"Lovely as the view is," Lucius murmured softly, shrinking his broom and stowing it into his pocket, "we should act before the Dark Lord realizes what we are planning."

"And what _are_ we planning, Lucius?" Hermione asked just as gently, almost afraid to disturb the deceptively peaceful ambiance of the winter morning. When she turned to face him, the expression on his statuesque face hit her like a punch to the stomach. "Ah. I thought as much."

"Before we start assuming the worst, we should see what we are truly dealing with. At this point, most of our assumptions are just that- assumptions. Until we see what he's hidden in that cave, all we can do is speculate. And I am rather tired of speculating, aren't you?"

"Gods, if that is not the understatement of the year."

"Good. Now, I assume you can swim?"

"…I can, but—"

He smirked, sliding his wand from one of his pockets and quickly twisting it in front of her body and then his, "After all these years, it is rather nice to see that Transfiguration is finally worth _something_. I was beginning to think all those classes back at Hogwarts had been utterly wasted."

Hermione dragged her fingers across the fabric that her clothing had shifted into, "Neoprene? How positively muggle of you. While I appreciate the gesture, I could have transfigured my own clothes… but I really think the temperature of the water will be far too cold for a simple—"

"It's a modified Transfiguration spell. The fabric has been interwoven with warming and temperature regulation charms. I assure you, we will be just fine."

She felt her eyes widen, "And _how_ in the world did you manage to—"

"Draco had a penchant for trouble in his youth. He used to end up in Malfoy lake at least three times a winter," Lucius shrugged. "Truth be told, the idea came from Severus. While there are many things one could say about him, no one could ever accuse him of lacking affection for his godson."

Hermione's gut twisted at his name, but she pushed it away. There was no time for that now, not when they were finally so close. If she allowed herself to think about Severus, to feel even the slightest hesitation… all of this would come crumbling down. His torture would have been pointless; all the pain and suffering he endured at the hands of her father would have been for nothing. The risk he had taken in giving her his heart would have been for naught.

Hermione refused to let that be. Tom would _never_ win if she could prevent it and no matter what it took, she would free Severus from the bonds held by _both_ his Masters.

After all, what good was saving the world if he couldn't enjoy it on his own terms?

She cleared her throat and took one last look at the star-speckled canvas above them before peering over the edge of the jagged rock, "So, what do you think? Last one to the cave loses?"

Lucius looked completely exasperated, "Really? Such childish antics—"

Without waiting to hear the rest of his pompous lecture, Hermione cast a quick _Bubble-Head_ charm over her face before she dove into the icy ocean head first. Moments later, she heard the muffled sounds of another body entering the water and swimming beneath the calm waves to catch up with her. She bit back a smirk; childish, indeed.

As the shimmering shale of the cliff face came closer and closer, Hermione had to continually remind herself to focus. The very best chance scenario was that they would be able to somehow break past the magical barriers and get to the phylactery and then…

Then, they would have once chance to destroy it.

One chance.

 _One_.

Severus' face, flushed and slack with pleasure as he breathed her name, kept creeping past the edges of her mind. When she managed to lock the image away behind her mental walls, another cropped up: his dark eyes appraising the way they looked together in his bathroom mirror, shivers skittering down her spine at the approval she saw there. Hermione shook her head under the water to dislodge the memories. _Now was not the time!_ She had to focus. She had to remember what this was all for. It didn't matter how badly she wanted to see him again, it didn't matter if…

And then Hermione remembered the way he looked, bloody and broken on the floor of the Malfoy's ballroom at her father's feet. She had been so certain that he was dead, so certain that he would never again open his piercing onyx eyes or spear her with his venomous tongue. There was no Dark Magic in the universe that could ever hurt her that way, and nothing was worth truly losing him and making that pain a reality.

Nothing.

With a renewed sense of determination, Hermione pushed herself harder towards the opening on the side of the cliff.

x-x-x

The inside of the cave was fairly unremarkable as caves go; there was a shelf of worn stone just large enough for two people to stand on and then… nothing. Quite literally, there was nothing- just three monumental walls of shale that absolutely pulsated with her father's magical signature.

"He must have hidden the entranceway," Lucius mused, running his pale hand along one of the walls. "Not that I expected anything less. Hmm… a passphrase is too charlatan for him. A spell, perhaps? Possibly one of his own design?"

Hermione chewed her lip as her fingers danced across the smooth shale. Tom was evil, but there was no denying he was equally, if not more, intelligent than most of the Wizarding World. He would never choose something that could be replicated easily. A passphrase could be spoken even accidentally, and a spell could be undone if you were adept enough at runes. Her father was cruel, methodical, and thorough. If he wanted his phylactery to be protected, _truly_ protected, then he would not have made it accessible to just anyone. Should his body ever be destroyed, Tom would most likely be able to leave the cave, but to get in—

 _…He tried to keep Miss Granger close– keep her safe and well– because once his phylactery was ready, he planned to use her blood…_

Of course. Tom needed her to get in, but once his phylactery was indestructible, he would never need to gain entrance again. Hermione looked down at the palm of her hand and nearly choked. Damn him - damn Tom fucking Riddle straight to deepest pits of Hell.

Lucius caught her staring blankly at her hand, "Miss Granger?"

"The key to the entranceway is my blood."

"Are you quite certain?"

She snatched one of the broken shards of shale from the little shelf and quickly dragged the sharp edge across her palm, hissing against the pain before tossing the rock into the water. Almost clinically, Hermione stepped forward and ran her hand across the wall, leaving behind a streak of dark blood. There was a tangible pulse of Tom's magic before an invisible seam in the shape of a large rounded door illuminated before them.

As the outlined portion of the wall melted away, Hermione cast a hasty healing spell over her palm, "My father is nothing if not consistent."

"But if the phylactery is already inside, then how—" Lucius caught himself. "Ah. Of course. The Dark Lord would not have needed to seal the entranceway until the item was finished. And once it was…"

"He would only ever need to get in one more time," Hermione finished flatly. "To sacrifice me and seal the item – and the door – forever."

He came to her side though his gaze was focused steadily on the dark opening. It was quiet for a long time save for the sounds of the water gently lapping at the rock below. Finally, Lucius murmured a soft _Lumos_ and lifted his wand towards the darkness ahead, "Are you ready for this? Once we cross the threshold here, there are no guarantees that we will make it out again."

Hermione allowed herself to think of Severus one more time. Everything he'd done for her, all his love and support, washed over her like a blanket of clam; soothing her nerves and giving her strength. He had faced torture and death for years because of her father and even more so lately because of her. If he could do that for her, she could do this for him.

"You can be dramatic later, Lucius. If we stop to contemplate this entire thing now, we'll just end up standing in this doorway until Tom shows up. Then how will you ever regale anyone with your heroic tale of saving the world?"

Her keeper's friend managed a tiny smirk as he followed her echoing steps into the darkness, "Severus was right. You _are_ insufferable."

x-x-x

Severus could still feel the remnants of Hermione and Lucius' magic buzzing in the air around the jagged little rock. That was comforting – if he could still feel it, then he wasn't far behind them. Far in the distance, even in the darkness of early morning, he could see the sharp, jutting edges of the cliff face that housed the Dark Lord's coveted cave. Fierce magical wards sizzled his skin as a warning to any who approached that it would be impossible to enter the cave by magical means.

Just as he and Lucius had suspected. They hadn't known that he would choose the cave for hiding whatever magical object he'd been crafting, but they knew that wherever it was, it would be heavily warded. And now, 'heavily' felt like a gross oversimplification.

He stretched his fingers to graze the wards. Hmm… no broom, no flight, no levitation, no Apparition. He would have to swim, then.

With a flick of his wand, Severus Transfigured his clothes using the spell he'd crafted for little Draco many, many years ago. There was a flash of light from the cave ahead and, with his heart lodged firmly in his throat, Severus dove into the water.

Once again, he sent up repeated prayers for anyone listening. _Spare her_ , he begged the Gods viciously. _You can have me but spare her. Please._ Please _._

There was, understandably, no answer.

x-x-x

"There's something in the water, isn't there?"

"Perhaps," Lucius crouched at the edge of the embankment with his wand outstretched. "It would be wise to assume everything here is a trap of some kind. The Dark Lord is notoriously paranoid – I cannot imagine he would leave something as precious as his soul unguarded."

Hermione took a moment to return their clothing to normal before searching the shoreline for anything that seemed out of place. There had to be a way across the water because there was no other place to go other than back the way they came. She was just about to turn and head back to the start when something caught on the toe of her shoe.

Whatever she'd found was invisible, but she could hear it when her foot moved. Hermione reached for the sand but instead, her fingers brushed against some type of cool metal. At her touch, the Disillusionment charm melted away to reveal a thick, heavy chain. She tugged on it once and a small, rickety boat ascended from the water's depths and glided silently to the shore where it stopped in anticipation of passengers.

"Lucius?" Hermione called. "I think I found a way across."

He came and prodded the wooden slats with the toe of his boot, "It does not feel cursed or spelled in any way, so it looks like we have no choice. Allow me to go first, just in case."

Lucius stepped into the boat and when nothing happened, he motioned for her to follow. Once they had both managed to sit on the single, almost comically tiny bench in the middle, the boat began to pull away from the sand and slide across the water as if it were made of ice. As they were taken further and further from the bank, some kind of shimmering white and silver mineral deposit, rough and uneven, illuminated in the middle of the lake.

"What is that?" He raised his wand and brightened his _Lumos_ with a flourish. "It looks almost like…"

"I think it's a pedestal," Hermione supplied quietly, horror spreading though her veins like an icy poison as the island came into view. Oh yes, she knew exactly what it was – her friends at Beauxbatons had loved giggling over absurd, inaccurate muggle witchcraft books. "Most likely carved from scapolite. Some believe… some believe it has strengthening properties. Others associate it with…" She cleared her throat. "Achievement."

Lucius snorted, "Well, Dumbledore did say the Dark Lord was always a fan of symbolism. A little plebian if you ask me but…" He must have noticed Hermione's trembling at his side because he paused, his voice much softer. "I promised Severus I would keep you safe, Miss Granger. I do not intend to break that promise over some overdramatic nonsense."

"This is bigger than that, Lucius," she shook her head. "This is more than just Severus and I. Would you truly subject your family to my father for the rest of their lives? Would you really allow him to become undefeatable and immortal – simply to honor a promise?"

He was nearly speechless, "I swore to him, to Narcissa and Draco, that I would—"

"And I appreciate that. I do. But if someone doesn't stop him… if someone doesn't make the sacrifice, then you will all become his prisoners. How could you ask me to allow that?"

"And Severus?"

She managed a small smile, her dusky eyes gentle, "He deserves to be free just like everyone else."

"Without you, freedom does not amount to much for him."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

The boat gently knocked into their destination and Hermione gently climbed out onto the rough surface of the little island, sharp edges of loose stones slicing into her palms as she ascended towards the beautiful, haunting sculpture. Somewhere behind her, Lucius was protesting- insisting that he should be the one to go first as he was far less important and the narrow way upwards was only big enough for one of them at a time- but she never slowed or turned back. It wasn't until she reached the very top that she stopped, her hands lazily dripping blood near her feet as she stared down into the large rounded basin carved directly into the middle of the pedestal.

At the bottom sat a square, golden locket with a heavy black 'S' carved into the face.

Hermione's heart plummeted when she realized she recognized the chain – it was the same one she'd seen her father caressing reverently around his own neck.

x-x-x

The doorway was open.

There were droplets of blood on the ground and the doorway was open.

Severus could feel terror coursing through his veins, burning his organs like a corrosive acid. There had been much speculation between himself and his friend as to how the Dark Lord would choose to protect whatever he'd been creating… and none of the options had been pleasant.

Now, t _he doorway was fucking open_ and he already knew where the blood had come from.

He barreled forward into the darkness, desperation and fear gripping his throat like a noose. Their magic was palpable now – they were both still alive and incredibly close – but for how long? Severus stumbled over some loose stones just beyond the threshold, barely managing to right himself before slamming face first into the ground. Typically, he would sneer and be mortified by his own clumsiness but at the moment, there was room for nothing other than thoughts of _her_.

He was going to save her, strangle her, then hold her hostage in his bed for the rest of her life – in that exact order.

 _Click, clack. Click, clack. Click, clack._

His imported dragon-hide boots cast eerie echoes across the cave walls with each pound of his feet. He couldn't slow down, couldn't stop to catch his breath. Lucius had promised to care for her, but… would he? Would he, _really_? If his life were in danger, would he protect Hermione over himself? That thought was almost laughable. Lucius Malfoy was the single most selfish creature in the entire universe. If it came down to Hermione or himself, Lucius' almost inhuman sense of self-preservation would, undoubtedly, override any flimsy promise he'd ever made.

Arrogant, insufferable, foolish girl. Who the fuck did she think she was? How fucking dare she endanger herself to save the world, to save _him_? Severus was going to verbally annihilate her until his voice was hoarse. He was going to rip her to shreds until she understood the severity of her transgression. He was going to take every ounce of rage and blind terror he felt and throw it at her in the form of razor-sharp, unyielding words until she finally fucking realized.

Severus collapsed to his knees at the edge of a sandy embankment, gasping in a desperate attempt to regulate his panicked breathing as he observed the lake now obstructing his path. Knowing the Dark Lord as he did, there was undoubtedly something sinister lurking beneath the serene waves, so he would need to proceed with caution. There had to be a way across, but…

A flicker of unnatural light wavered around his peripheral vision and he looked up, feeling his heart plummet in his chest when he finally saw Hermione. Lucius was trying to reach her but the jagged, uneven edges of the strange little island in the middle of the lake slowed his ascent drastically. He could hear Lucius calling her name, each repeated word full of more urgency than the last, but she refused to even acknowledge him.

Her eyes were trained on something and it was almost as if she were in a trance. She reached towards the pedestal and Severus knew.

"Hermione, _NO!_ "

But it was too late. She was gripping the locket against her chest, her head thrown back as a scream of agony ripped from her throat. Lucius was still trying to get to her, his face contorted in panic and dread, but none of it mattered. Hermione fell forward, ghostly black fingers slithering from the phylactery towards her face. The spindly, evil smoke caressed her cheeks almost reverently before plunging into her chest like a barrage of spectral knives.

Even from the shoreline, Severus could hear the choking sound she was making.

"Get it away from her!" He roared. "Knock it out of her hands!"

His friend looked back, resignation and guilt already clear on his face. He stopped climbing.

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. It was impossible; after all they'd been through, it couldn't just end like this! Severus' throat burned in tandem with his eyes, "Gods _DAMN_ you, Lucius! You swore to me! You _swore_ you would—"

There was a rush of frigid air before the smooth, serpentine voice of his master slid across the back of his neck like a lover, "Tsk, tsk, tsk – my dear Severus, such undignified behavior from my _most trusted advisor_ … my _second-in-command_ …" The Dark Lord gripped his throat gently as magical ropes wound themselves around Severus' wrists and ankles. He was too trapped by the blossoms of blood spreading across Hermione's chest to even resist. "Did you truly think it would be so simple? That my phylactery would have allowed someone else to touch it without consequences?" His laughter was grating and dark. "You always were a puppet for anyone who showed you affection, my dearest Severus. And just look at where that weakness has gotten you – what it has done to _her_."

Severus _was_ looking. He couldn't avert his gaze if he wanted to. The only thing that mattered was Hermione; she had been the only thing that mattered for a very long time.

And she was currently bleeding to death.

Because of him.

His collapsed to his knees in the sand.

x-x-x

Hermione could hear her father's voice, darker and more serpentine than usual, whispering deep in her subconscious. It promised her everything she ever wanted – a place where people were no longer afraid of her but respected her instead; a place where she could do anything, _be_ anything she wanted; a place where she could be with Severus without repercussions or judgement.

A place where her mother was still humming to her favorite song, where Wendell was waiting for her with open arms. A place where they both waited to meet Severus. A place where they eagerly anticipated years of grandchildren with raven curls and lanky chocolate hair.

She struggled against the sinister voice in her ears. Everything it offered was so appealing and it would be so, so easy to give in. All she had to do was stop resisting. All she had to do was relinquish the fight and allow the phylactery into her heart…

The phylactery.

It was as though a thick veil of fog had been lifted and she could finally think clearly again. She was in the cave with Lucius. She had grabbed the locket. Hermione tightened her grip on the necklace that she just realized was still in her hand and her back arched against the jagged stone as another pulse of pain rocketed through her chest. She could feel the piercing, icy claws of her father's soul digging through her chest in search of something. The claws pushed further in, past her ribcage, and she felt the warmth of her own blood spilling from her skin. Was this the sacrifice that Lucius had alluded to? Was she supposed to let the phylactery devour her? Was she supposed to submit to it, to the pain?

The ghostly claws plunged deeper and Hermione whimpered a little, her eyes nearly rolling back in her head. She caught herself, however, when she noticed the horrified, gut-wrenching expression on Lucius' typically regal face. He was looking towards the shoreline where they had come from. Hermione frowned a little, tilting her gaze just enough to see whatever had him so captivated…

Her eyes widened as she realized Severus was staring right at her, his own features a mask of shock, resignation, and agony. Tom was behind him with his wand already pointed at his spine, his lips moving as a slow, lazy smile crept across his poisonous mouth. He breathed words across Severus' neck before slithering to the other side to repeat the action. Severus never even blinked, his chest hardly moved as he breathed. All at once, her father dragged his fingers around Severus' throat as Severus' hands were yanked behind his back and bound with Tom's _Incarcerous_ along with his ankles. His gaze slid to her chest and a few seconds later, Severus fell to his knees. He was giving up.

Tom's smile widened as he summoned the black carved wand from Severus' robes, promptly snapping it in half and tossing the broken pieces into the water. He then took a few steps back before kicking Severus' spine, sending him face first into the eerie lake surrounding the tiny island with a roar of triumphant laughter.

Rage, searing and sharp, rose up in her throat, wringing a sharp scream from somewhere far deeper within herself than she knew existed. Hermione managed to crawl to her knees – still gasping for breath through the blood seeping out of her chest – and yanked the phylactery over her head in a single rough motion. Blue sparks fell from the tips of her curls and rolled across the skin of her chest, singeing the mineral beneath her body as her raw magic came roaring to life with a vengeance. She didn't stop as Lucius called for her, didn't even look back when his fingers encircled one of her ankles in an attempt to stop her. Her magic seared his flesh and he stumbled backwards, his voice thick and broken as he apologized over and over.

Her father was still laughing from his place on the shore, his handsome face nearly splitting with mirth and malice. Hermione grit her teeth, fingers gripping the edge of the rocky little island.

She would give the cruel bastard something to laugh about.

With another burst of fiery cobalt magic, Hermione launched herself from the island – plummeting headfirst into the waiting water below.

x-x-x

The moment she broke past the barrier between air and water, Tom's phylactery yanked against her throat towards the surface and had it not been for the strength of her raw magic, Hermione would have undoubtedly been pulled back to the either the island or the shore. Thankfully, her magic was strong enough to subdue much of the phylactery's strength which allowed her to swim with only a little resistance from the necklace. Her chest still ached but the flow of blood had significantly slowed, and she felt marginally stronger with each passing second. She propelled herself through the water as quickly as her legs would allow, slowing only when she saw a glint of unnatural wand light reflect off a mass of billowy, ravens-wing hair. Hermione pushed herself harder, lungs already twinging in discomfort, until she found him slowly sinking to the bottom of the lake with his arms and legs still bound. She gripped his face in her hands, fingers sweeping across his cheeks to rouse him, but his eyes were already drifting shut as he fell unconscious. Hermione fumbled around in her pocket for her wand for a moment before sliding it out and quickly undoing the _Incarcerous_ her father had placed. Once he was free, she gripped his arm and lifted her wand towards the surface with another spell already forming in her mind.

But before she could visualize the spell in its entirety, something gripped her ankles and pulled her further towards the dark depths of the lake. Hermione glanced down frantically to see a hoard of rotting, murderous corpses – Inferi, if she were to guess – reaching for them both with disintegrating fingers. The discomfort in her lungs had escalated to a sharp burning and the pressure on her chest was near excruciating as her body desperately cried out for oxygen. It was quickly becoming clear that her options were limited now and her only remaining thought was: _Severus_.

The Inferi's hands pulled on her ankles, her shins, her knees, her thighs. Decaying men, women, and children clawed at her skin, jagged nails ripping into her flesh with an almost desperate hunger and the phylactery's chain tightened around her throat. Hermione's vision swam and she grew dizzy. The edges of her mind grew fuzzy as she neared unconsciousness and it was only with the final ounce of clarity she had left that Hermione managed to make a decision.

She slapped her wand into Severus' slack palm, cast a wandless, non-verbal _Incarcerous_ to bind it to his hand, and lifted it towards the wand light glimmering off the lake.

Water filled her mouth and lungs as she shouted, " _Alarte Ascendare!_ "

Severus went rocketing towards the surface as the magically animated bodies dragged her down into the darkness. When she could finally see them up close, Hermione realized that they were truly the final nail in her irony-laden coffin. These were no typical Inferi – they were, instead, the corpses of everyone her father had ever killed. She kicked away those that she could, desperately praying to any Gods listening to spare her from having to see her mother and Wendell this way… considering the Inferi were probably the last things she ever would see.

The phylactery twisted tighter around her throat just as Severus' unconscious form broke the surface of the water and Hermione, finally, stopped fighting against it. Severus was safe now and she was on her way to the bottom of the lake with the phylactery wrapped around her neck. Even the Inferi wouldn't let Tom take her body from them so easily.

 _Take whatever you want from me,_ Hermione thought to the locket trying to asphyxiate her. _No one else will ever find you again – I will make damn sure of that._

The phylactery loosened its grip on her throat.

 _Even if I have to stay in this cave as a ghost for the rest of time, no one will ever recover you from the bottom of this lake._

The locket loosened a little more.

Hermione gripped the gaudy thing in her palm, eyes slipping closed as the final bubbles of air escaped past her lips. _No one will ever suffer because of my father ever again. No one… Severus… Severus… Severus_ _…_

She then slipped blissfully into the dark nothingness of oblivion, the last things to register in her mind being a searing flash of warm, golden light against her palm, the comforting prickles of her raw magic against her chest, and the sound of a man's muffled scream as a myriad of spells tore into his flesh.


End file.
